Author notes:
Italicized words are character thoughts
Italicized & boldfaced words are dream sequences or memories
Boldfaced words are in text reading materials (like books or letters)
000 Represents a shift in character perspective
0~0~0 Represents a shift in scene (often followed by the date the new scene takes place if it is on a different day than the prior scene)
Chapter 7: Worried Witches and Wizards
Saturday, 1/11/1997
Draco eyes couldn't help but seek out Harry in the Great Hall at breakfast the morning after their disastrous pheromone forced kiss. He couldn't stop thinking about the things Potter had said the day before, in particular Potter's half uttered statement about not sleeping. When Potter had failed to turn up at the Great Hall for dinner the night before Draco had known it was because of him and he'd felt an extra pang of guilt at the thought that Potter had gone without food as well as without sleep. This unusual sentiment only deepened now as he was actually looking at his obviously beaten down rival.
Draco was shocked he hadn't noticed how exhausted Potter looked before. 'How were Potter's Gryffidork friends not seeing this? He had dark black bags under his eyes for Merlin's sake!' Draco observed his nemesis for the whole of breakfast, pointedly ignoring the fawning attentions of his neighbors, which had only somewhat lessened since he had reined in his pheromones.
Despite his single minded focus, Potter never looked his way. Yesterday's incident seemed to have desensitized him to the non-targeted magnetic pull of Draco's pheromones. Well either that or he was exerting effort to ignore the draw. But seeing how exhausted he looked Draco rather doubted he had the necessary energy to fight. Potter looked dead to the world and while his friends seemed to be talking to him Draco never noticed him give more than a one word response or a vague acknowledgment that someone had spoken to him.
Prior to yesterday Draco might have felt concerned by how much attention he was paying Potter. He might have worried about people taking notice and coming to erroneous conclusions. He might have even chastised himself for the impropriety of it, but today Draco couldn't give a fuck. He wanted to know. He NEEDED to know what was wrong with Potter. What were all the mysterious 'life ruining' symptoms that he had alluded to? What nameless horrors was he suffering? 'It's just morbid curiosity.' He mentally assured himself. 'I don't actually care.'
Of course, Draco knew better than to just straight out ask Potter. Besides being decidedly un-Slytherin that approach would just get him hexed, or even worse, kissed. He couldn't risk instinctively deflecting an attack with pheromones again. He DID NOT want a repeat of that confusing incident. No, he was very much in the 'not using pheromones against Potter' camp now.
Using his Veela powers on Potter had ceased being funny the moment it had resulted in Draco being forcefully snogged within an inch of his senses by the golden boy of Gryffindor. He didn't even want to imagine what his godfather would say if he knew. Some horrifying variant of 'I told you so.' or 'as long as it's not in my sight.' Draco shivered at the thought. Severus was a smart man but he was seriously misreading the present situation.
Never the less, Draco found himself wandering down to the Head of Sytherin's office. Even if he was making some erroneous assumptions that didn't mean he might not have some answers to Draco's questions about the bond. After all, he had been researching Veela for nearly two weeks now and he was anything if not thorough. Draco suspected his godfather knew what Potter's mysterious symptoms were.
Draco knocked on the door and let himself in without waiting for his Head of House to open it for him.
"It's customary to wait until you are invited into someone's chambers before entering." Severus rebuked.
Draco sat himself in the comfier of the two arm chairs by the fireplace and waited for his godfather to abandon his desk and join him.
"You are a Malfoy through and through." He remarked with an affectionate, if disapproving, shake of his head.
Draco smiled. "I'll take that as a compliment."
"I presume you're here for a reason." Severus probed his tone serious again.
"You wound me. Can't a godson make a social call to his godfather?"
Severus quirked his brow at Draco. "Out with it Draco; I haven't the time for childish games today. As you saw when you came in I am in the middle of something."
"You're always in the middle of something." Draco retorted.
"True, I'm not an idle man, but my point stands. I haven't the patience for a tete a tete with you today. So let dispense with the pleasantries. What brings you to my office today?"
Draco contemplated his godfather for a moment and accepted that he would do best to get to the point.
"In short I'm here to talk about Potter. I think he is unwell. I don't believe he's being honest with Madame Pomfrey about his symptoms. Frankly I don't think he is being honest with anyone about his symptoms. He looks like shite."
"Language Draco," Snape tented his fingers and shot him an appraising look. "What makes you so certain that Mr. Potter is unwell as a result of the bond and not some other unrelated cause?" Severus asked.
"We had a bit of a spat and he blurted out some things." Draco answered evasively.
"Go on." Severus encouraged.
"He mentioned something about not sleeping before he caught himself."
Draco thought he saw a flash of understanding in his godfather's eyes.
"Does the bond do that? Does it make the intended mates unable to sleep?"
"You're fishing Draco. If you're curious about the symptoms Harry is experiencing than ask him."
"But you know. I can tell you do. Why won't you just tell me?"
"If, as you claim, you are truly only interested in making the staff aware that Potter is experiencing adverse effects to the bond than you can rest assured that you are not the only person in the school with sufficient observational abilities to notice that."
"If the staff knows he's unwell than why is nothing being done?" Draco asked indignantly. His godfather's lips twitched at his uncharacteristic display of feeling and Draco forced back an embarrassed blush.
"There is no solution to his ills save the one that neither of you wishes to consider or discuss. Any symptoms that you or Mr. Potter experience are unfortunately outside the realm of my ability to assist. I told Mr. Potter the same when he came to me."
"Potter confided in you?" Draco was incredulous.
"I'm going to choose not to be offended by your skepticism." Severus replied coolly. "There may be no love lost between myself and Mr. Potter but, never the less, I am a professional Draco. Anything Potter may or may not have shared with me in a professional capacity will be honored with the confidentiality that such a disclosure merits."
"I didn't mean that as a lack of confidence in your trustworthiness, but I'm just surprised, given the nature of your history with him, that he would come to you."
"One could argue that it is equally surprising, given the nature of your relationship with him, that you should come to me concerned about his well-being."
"I'm not here because I care. I'm here because I want to know what's going on. After all, I'm stuck in this bond too." Draco sounded whiny even to his own years and he forced himself not to cross his arms because he knew it would only reinforce the image of his petulance. "It's makes perfect sense that I would be curious about what is happening to Harry."
"Harry is it? I hadn't realized the two of you were on a first name basis." Severus smirked.
"Potter." Draco corrected, flushing. "I deserve to know what is happening to POTTER." He added extra emphasis to the surname the second time.
"Well, I stand by what I said before. I won't betray his secrets so if you want to know what is troubling him you'll just have to convince him to tell you. I wish you the best of luck with that."
Draco frowned. He wasn't used to being denied requests by his godfather.
"Was that all you wished to talk to me about or do have you noticed any side-effects on your end that you'd like to discuss with me? I would of course similarly keep your confidences." Severus offered.
Draco bristled inexplicably at his godfather's words. "There are no symptoms on my end." He replied stiffly.
Severus hummed meaningfully.
"What's MMMM supposed to mean?" Draco retorted peevishly.
"Nothing." Severus didn't bother hiding the small quirk of his lips this time. "If you feel your recent behaviors and interest towards Mr. Potter are consistent with how they were before the bond who am I to disagree?"
Draco didn't like the implied accusation, but felt it better to leave than to prolong what was quickly becoming an uncomfortable conversation.
"Thank you for your time." Draco bowed tersely and showed himself out of the office.
0~0~0
Draco was not one to be easily put off something when he wanted it, and right now he want to know what the bloody hell was wrong with Potter. If his godfather wasn't going to tell him well than he would just have to find out some other way.
The idea struck him later that night as he was replaying his conversation with his godfather over and over in his head. He couldn't say what angered him more, Severus less than subtle implication that he cared about Potter or his stoic refusal to cave into Draco's will. He remembered his godfather harping on about respecting confidences and keeping secrets,
'An un-Slytherin notion if I've ever heard one. Other people's secrets were only worth keeping for three reasons. Firstly, if they had dirt on you, secondly if the secret had future blackmail potential, and thirdly if the secret belonged to someone too dangerous to risk offending.'
Draco seriously doubted any of those three conditions applied to Potter and he was rather offended that his godfather placed a higher priority on professional courtesy than on the needs and wants of his only godson.
The Gryffindorish notion did however help to jog his memory to a similar conversation he'd had the week before with that strange little blonde girl, 'What was her name again? Loony something, dammit I should have paid better attention. In any case she's Potter's friend and she might know. Weirdo that she is I'd have a much better chance getting it out of her than out of Granger or the Weasel.' Draco shivered involuntarily at the thought. No amount of curiosity would have him crawling to the know it all mud-blood for answers.
Finding a way to discretely talk to the strange Ravenclaw proved to be an interesting challenge. Never before had Draco lamented the woefully bad relationship Slytherin had with other houses. He'd always enjoyed the elitist sense of separation. It did however pose a problem when it came to trying to find the girl. He couldn't exactly go up to the Ravenclaw dorms and ask for her to be called out to talk to him, though thanks to his prefect privileges he did know where all four of the dorms were hidden.
Without knowing her name sending an owl would also be problematic. Even if the owl could find her based on the description of Loony, receiving a letter addressed as such would hardly endear her to him. No, he would have to find her the good old fashioned way, by skulking around. 'Ugh, Potter secret had better be worth this much effort.' He thought ungenerously.
0~0~0
Sunday, 1/12/1997
Operation Friendship, so named because he planned to exploit her ridiculous notion that they were friends to get her to reveal Potter's secrets, commenced first thing the next morning. He hoped that he might catch her at breakfast and that his whole pursuit could be as easy as following her out of the Great Hall and pulling her aside as soon as they had a corridor to themselves. The plan seemed promising enough. Of course things could never be that simple. He sat at the Slytherin table for the full three hours that brunch was served on Sundays, earning himself quite a few odd looks, and the Ravenclaw girl never showed up. He kicked at the walls of the dungeon outside his dorm, trying to compose himself before entering his common room and facing his peers and the no doubt onslaught of questions he was going to face about his strange morning behavior.
"What did the wall do this time?" An amused voice asked him. He froze in place. He had thought he was alone in the corridor. The blonde Ravenclaw girl stepped out of the darkened alcove nearest to the dorms entrance and his shoulders sagged in relief."
"Nothing I was just releasing some frustration."
She pursed her lips and looked up at him thoughtfully.
"You should really work on misplacing your anger. Throwing rocks at the giant squid, yelling in public, physically assaulting non-offending buildings, it's all a bit unseemly. People might think you're strange if you keep acting out like that."
Draco opened his mouth to let out a quick retort about not needing to be coached on how to behave like a normal person by her, when he remembered that he wanted to befriend not offend. So instead he offered her his best pure-blood schooled smile and said.
"Thank you, I'll take that advice under consideration."
Her eyes glinted at him as though she could see the inner conflict that had just played out in his mind and was amused by it. He tried to bite back his growing alarm regarding just how observant this girl was.
"I like your real smile better. So if you're pasting the polite one on for my benefit don't bother."
Draco didn't know how to respond to that. So he waited for her to continue.
"The nargles told me you were looking for me. Is that true?"
'What in the blazes are nargles? Where is she coming up with this stuff? And more importantly how on earth she knew I was looking for her, I didn't tell anyone.' He suppressed the urge to shiver and composedly replied,
"Yes, I was hoping to talk to you about our mutual friend." He glanced meaningfully at the very unprotected hall they were still standing in and added, "Perhaps somewhere more private."
"I know just the place." She smiled brightly and bounded down the hall, forcing Draco to speed walk to keep up with her frolicking skip.
"You're barefoot!" Draco almost squeaked when he saw her unclothed feet as she climbed the several flights of stairs to where ever it was she was taking him.
"My shoes are missing again." She replied, not bothering to slow down to answer his question.
"Let me guess, the nargles took them?" He couldn't resist quipping.
"Don't be ridiculous. What on earth would nargles do with shoes?" She slowed down as she reached the top of the stair case and waited for Draco to catch up. Draco felt a bit put out that he was in worse shape than her. He was an athlete for Merlin's sake. Once he reached her at the top she continued. "The girls in my dorm like to hide my stuff sometimes. I don't usually mind. It's a bit like hide and seek. But I do wish they wouldn't take my shoes in the winter. The Hogwarts flagstones are cold." She shrugged. "But they'll turn up eventually. I've been searching the castle all morning. I'm sure I'll find them before the day is out." She smiled optimistically.
Draco found himself feeling a bit bad for her. He had always been at the top of the pecking order in Slytherin. He couldn't imagine having to worry about not having his shoes in the middle of the winter. He remembered her remark last time about not have any friends in her house and felt even worse.
"Why don't you just tell the teachers?"
"Would you stop bullying someone just because a teacher told you to?" She asked.
"No, I'd just do a better job not to get caught the next time." He answered without thinking on what he was saying. "So you're just going to suffer in silence until you graduate?" He found her passive indifference to what was clearly a prolonged case of hazing both fascinating and appalling.
"Good things come to those who wait; bad things fall on those who hate." She chirped in her sing songy voice. "Besides, dark times are ahead of us. I don't have the heart to deny people the few simple pleasures that remain to them.
They came up upon the room of requirement without Draco being conscious that it was where she had been leading him and he felt a momentary wave of panic as he feared that she knew what he was doing in the room of hidden things. He quickly realized his fears were unfounded however, when the door opened into an enclosed garden. She skipped into the room, clearly unsurprised by its highly unconventional appearance.
"What is this place?" He asked as his eyes roved around the room in wonder.
"My mother's garden or at least the room of requirements best approximation of it. Hers is full of butterflies, but I don't think the room of requirement conjures bugs."
"Why did you take me here?"
"You seemed concerned about people overhearing us." She looked swung her arms around the room. "I'm the only person who comes here, so you can say what you wanted to say."
He followed her in and closed the door behind him. She had seated herself at a small cafe table that he hadn't noticed in his initial inspection of the room and she was pulling lemons out of the pocket of her robes. She motioned with her free hand for him to join her. Before he could ask her what she was doing a teapot appeared on the table along with two porcelain teacups.
"Do you care for tea?" She asked, acting all the world as though this was a real garden at her real house and he was a guest she was entertaining.
"You just carry lemons around with you?" She looked up from slicing a lemon and replied,
"I find them less messy to carry around with me than milk and sugar. I hope you don't mind lemon tea?" She asked, again the perfect hostess. He finally accepted her proffered seat.
"Why don't you have the room conjured tea supplies?" He finally asked.
"The fifth law of something or other. You'd have to ask Hermione."
"I'm not exactly on conversational terms with Granger." He replied.
Luna patted the top of his hand sympathetically. "Give it time. It heals all wounds you know. The two of you will be friends yet. Just look at you and Harry."
Draco was about to make a strong avowal that he was not friends with Harry Potter when he remembered that the premise that Harry was their mutual friend was the entire basis for him convincing her to spill Harry's secrets.
"Basically food can't be conjured and as such the room can't provide it for us." She continued explaining about the room, politely ignoring that his mind had quite obviously wandered away from their conversation.
"So do you come here often?" He tried to rejoin the conversation.
"I know why you wanted to see me." She replied, handing Draco his completed cup of tea as she did so. "You're going about it all wrong, you know."
"Going about what wrong?"
"Your courtship of Harry, of course. I know that last time we spoke I said that you could catch more flies with honey but I didn't mean you to take that literally. Harry isn't the sort who would enjoy being lured with pheromones. You're going to scare him off if you pursue him that aggressively."
"I'm not courting Harry Potter!" Draco's teacup shook in his hand and spilt all over his trousers.
"Then why did you bond him and use your Veela seduction powers on him?"
Draco flushed. He really wished he had a better answer to that question, especially since people seemed so determined to come to the wrong conclusions.
"I'm worried about Harry. He won't tell me how the bond is affecting him, but I can tell that he is experiencing unpleasant symptoms. I can't help him if I don't know what is wrong."
Luna took a long drag from her tea and stared intently at Draco.
"You're not lying. You think you are, but you're not. Only you can help Harry." She grabbed his hand from across the table. "I believe in you. You have less wrackspurts now; you're becoming a better person. Love does that if you let it. Don't stay in the dark for too long Draco; it's where all the monsters hide. Adjust and let things be as they should and you'll see." She patted his hand again and stood up. "I really must be finding my shoes now. I have Herbology tomorrow and I don't fancy trudging out in the snow barefoot."
"But you haven't told me anything."
"Oh Draco, I told you I keep my friends secrets. You didn't honestly think I would betray Harry's confidence just because you were claiming that you were his friend, did you?"
"I want to know what is wrong with Harry." He replied stubbornly.
"Sometimes it's not about what's wrong, it's about what's not right. Only you can make things right with Harry. You should know that much without being told." She scolded him. "Besides, Harry hasn't even spoken to me about the Veela bond. He hasn't spoken to any of his friends. So if you really want to know what's bothering him you're going to have to ask him yourself." She added as she exited the room of requirement and left Draco with his tea soaked trousers and confused thoughts.
0~0~0
Monday, 1/13/1997
"Harry!" Hermione whispered harshly into Harry's ear. Harry's eyes jolted open and met hers groggily. "You were dozing off again." She said quietly, not wanting to alert Professor Sprout to the fact that Harry had been falling asleep in class again. He'd very nearly been given a detention for falling asleep in her class last week and this was already the second time Hermione had caught him nodding off today.
"Sorry." Harry replied sheepishly, raking his fingers through his hair nervously before he realized that they were still covered in potting soil.
"I'm worried about you." She admitted. "You've been tired a lot lately."
"I haven't been sleeping well." He admitted, staring at his potted plant intently.
"Look at me Harry." She commanded. He raised his eyes to meet hers obligingly. "I'm your best friend. I care about you. And I'm worried. You'd tell me if something was wrong wouldn't you?"
When Harry averted his eyes again she felt a crushing pain in her chest.
"You trust me don't you?" She asked, not bothering to mask the hurt in her voice.
"Of course I trust you." He replied quickly. "It just…" He hesitated. "There are some things that are hard to talk about. Sometimes it just seems easier to keep things to myself. I don't like making people worry about me."
"Well that's what you are doing by keeping us in the dark."
"Us? It's just you Hermione. No one else has said anything."
Hermione gave him a long suffering stare.
"Well Ron would be worried if he came up for enough of a breather between snogging sessions to notice anything around him. You look horrible Harry."
"You sure know how to flatter a bloke." Harry tried to smile disarmingly but Hermione wasn't fooled.
"I see what you're doing Harry. I won't be put off. I'm glad that there's still enough of your positive Potter spirit left in there to try throwing me off with charm, because to be honest you've been a bit grumpy as of late." She raised her hand to silence him before he could interrupt to defend himself. "But I understand that your grouchiness is likely coming from the same source as your exhaustion. I'm not asking you to apologize to me. I'm just asking you to let me in. Tell me what's wrong and let me help you." Her eyes bore into his pleadingly. Harry caved.
"I haven't slept in nine nights." He admitted. Hermione's eyes widened in shock.
"Oh, Harry, that's horrible. Why didn't you say anything? Is it the scar?"
"No, it has nothing to do with Voldemort." He assured her quickly.
"Then what's bothering you?"
Hermione watched her friend as a series of conflicted emotions flitted across his face. Harry contemplated his answer for so long that Hermione was about to repeat the question again when he finally answered.
"I started having bad dreams around the New Year. I tolerated them for as long as I could, and when I couldn't take it anymore I started taking keep-awake potion. And before you start lecturing me Hermione, yes I know it's not good to take that stuff all the time. I'm not an idiot. I just… I need this. I can't bear the dreams 'Mione. They are too horrible."
Hermione looked at her friend sadly. Biting back the tirade against keep-awake potions that he had correctly assumed she had been about to give.
"Sirius?" She asked instead. "Are you having nightmares about the Department of Mysteries again?"
Harry looked at Hermione with eyes so full of relief that Hermione didn't even know what to make of it.
"Thank you for understanding." He replied. "Now you see. I can't sleep. Not until I find a way to make the dreams go away."
"I could brew you the dreamless sleep draught." Hermione offered. "It takes a couple weeks to brew though." She bit her lip thoughtfully. "Though I'm sure if you explained things to Madame Pomfrey she could give you some straight away."
Harry shook his head fervently.
"I don't want her to know about it. Too many people know too much about my personal business as it is. Besides, she'd regulate me. She'd limit how often I could use it. There's no way she'd let me take it every night like I need to."
Hermione had forgotten about that.
"Harry, I'm sorry. I forgot it's addictive. You really shouldn't use dreamless sleep draught on a daily basis. We can find some other solution."
"No." Harry grabbed Hermione's hand from across the work table. "Please Hermione. Please brew it for me. Your offer to brew the dreamless sleep draught was the first ray of hope I've felt in nine days. The potion is totally beyond my brewing ability and I can't owl order it because it's restricted. I had already abandoned hope of that even being a possibility for me. Please." Harry pleaded.
"It's not healthy to use it every day." Hermione replied weakly.
"It can't be worse than taking keep awake every day. I'm already up to four doses a day 'Mione, and as you can see it's not enough. I'm still crashing. I need sleep."
Hermione's resolution wavered. Harry was still clutching her hand and she could feel his desperation in the intensity of his grip.
"Okay, I'll brew it for you." Harry's happiness lit up his eyes and whatever remained of Hermione's reticence dissolved. "But, you have to promise me that you'll continue looking for an alternative solution. This has to be temporary."
"I promise." He blurted.
Hermione had to smile at his unabashed enthusiasm. She could tell that he would have promised her the moon if she had said those were her terms and she couldn't deny him this moment of happiness. This was the first real smile she'd seen on his face since before winter break.
"I'll start the potion tonight." She promised, squeezing his hand reassuringly.
0~0~0
Friday, 1/17/1997
Harry's ongoing struggle with his Veela bond had not escaped Dumbledore's notice. At first he had deemed it best to allow the boy to deal with the burgeoning changes in whatever way made him most comfortable. After all Dumbledore knew some of the symptoms to be of a highly personal nature and could easily understand why a teenage boy wouldn't wish to discuss them with teachers.
But as the days and now weeks had gone on Dumbledore had noted with increasing concern that Harry's physical health seemed to be visibly deteriorating. He was surprised, and frankly a little disappointed that none among Harry's teacher had seemed to notice it, especially since they saw the boy in class and not just during meal times. Would he need to include child safety awareness in some future staff meeting?
But despite the failing powers of observation Harry's teachers seemed to be experiencing Dumbledore was still sharp as a tack. Harry had grown pale and the bags that had begun to appear just days after Dumbledore's return at the end of break were now deep and dark and stood out starkly on his tired face. When Dumbledore saw the boy nearly face plant into his morning cereal, only saved by being narrowly caught by his friend, Ms. Granger, Dumbledore knew he needed to speak with the boy.
He dismissed himself from breakfast and went up to the owlery to send the boy and invitation to join him for lunch in his Headmaster's office. Dumbledore was still quite on his feet, in spite of his advanced years, and he knew that if he made haste he could get the letter delivered to Harry before the boy left the Great Hall and would as such avoid unwanted attention. He knew Harry well enough to know that he would be embarrassed by an open invitation and he would resent the intrusive questioning by his peers that would follow if he were directly approached by the headmaster during breakfast. Dumbledore scrawled out a quick invitation and smiled at himself for his own insight in leaving the purpose of their meeting intriguingly vague.
Dear Harry,
We have not spoken one on one since before Christmas break. It would please me greatly if you would join me in my offices for lunch on Friday, the seventeen. This is a matter of some importance. I expect to see you shortly. Enjoy your morning classes.
- Albus Dumbledore
0~0~0
Harry clutched the note in his hand as he made his way to the Headmaster's office. Harry hoped fervently that the Headmaster was waiting for him since he hadn't deemed fit to include any clue as to the password and Harry was really not in the mood to guess at random candy names at the moment. It had been a horrendous morning so far. The balmy warmth of the potions lab, plus the unusually dark conditions that they had been brewing in so as not to compromise some of the light sensitive brewing ingredients had been the perfect conditions for a class nap. This aside from being incredibly dangerous in a potions class also could have been perilous in other ways. Hermione had been so focused on brewing her own potion that it had taken her several minutes to notice that he had dozed off.
That was the first time in over two weeks that he had slept long enough to start dreaming and he couldn't help but blush at where his mind had immediately taken him. Harry had to restrain a full body shiver at the thought that Malfoy had been in class with him at that moment. Thank Merlin that Hermione had noticed him sleeping and had woken him before things had escalated too far in the dream. Harry thought he'd rather die than lustily exclaim Draco's name in the middle of a potions class. In fact he was hard pressed to consider any worse scenario, and he'd already experienced some pretty mortifying ones at Malfoy's hands in the last couple weeks.
Though he had to grudgingly admit in Malfoy's defense that he had backed off the pheromones after that kiss in the charms classroom. If possible Harry's cheeks turned an even deeper shade of red at the memory.
'Now is not the time to be thinking thoughts like this!' Harry reproached himself, slapping his cheeks to force the errant thoughts from his mind. 'I need to be preparing for my meeting with Dumbledore. He said it was important. He might have more news about Voldemort.' Harry reminded himself.
As he approached the gargoyle flanked staircase that led to Professor Dumbledore's offices Harry took a deep sigh to calm himself. The last thing he wanted was to be interrogated about his bond with Malfoy and if Dumbledore saw how disturbed he was that was sure to happen. He came up to the stairs and to his surprise Professor Dumbledore was waiting for him.
000
"It occurred to me belatedly that you didn't know the password so I thought it best to wait here for you. After all it wouldn't do for us to have half of your lunch period wasted with you just trying to guess the password now would it?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. He motioned with his hand for Harry to precede him up the stairs.
Once in their office Harry noticed a small tea table had been set up with a tray of sandwiches.
"I hope you don't mind the meager refreshments. I find at my age that I can't stomach the rich lunch offerings that the school often provides in the Great Hall. I infinitely prefer a sandwich and a cup of tea."
Harry shook his head. "A sandwich is fine, Sir."
Dumbledore smiled and waved for Harry to take a seat. He poured himself a cup of tea and contemplated his favorite student.
"Do you know why I've asked you to join me today Harry?" He began. Years of teaching and later being a headmaster had taught him that you can often learn the most about your student's thoughts and motives when you ask them to guess at yours.
"Well, your letter said it was important and you alluded to our pre-Christmas meetings so I assumed that you were calling me here to talk more about Tom Riddle and how he became Lord Voldemort. Am I right?"
Dumbledore hummed thoughtfully over his cup of tea.
"A sound deduction," He began. "Though in this case an incorrect one. Unfortunately, at this time I have no further insight into Tom Riddle's past to share with you than I did the last time we met. I'm still waiting on the memory from Slughorn that I asked you to retrieve."
Harry began to apologize, but Dumbledore silenced him with a wave of his hand.
"I did not summon you here to inquire about that either. You've been understandably distracted as of late. No, the reason I've called you here Harry is your self-care or in this case your woeful lack thereof. I understand that you have been going through a period of adjustment as you adapt and reconcile yourself to some of the symptoms and physiological reactions that are associated with your initiated Veela Bond with Mr. Malfoy.
I had wished to respect your privacy in dealing with those side effects, but these past two weeks have marked a visible decline in the state of your health and as it is I cannot in good conscience continue to allow this downward spiral without intervening. It's obvious to me that you have not been sleeping. I witnessed your near collapse into your bowl of cereal this morning and it was that final indicator of how weak you have grown that spurred me to call you here. I am not naive Harry. I know the nature of the dreams Veela Bonded experience and I can understand and sympathize with why you would wish to avoid such dreams, especially given the tumultuous nature of your relationship with Mr. Malfoy, but I ask that you think about this rationally while your mind still possesses the necessary mental faculties to do so.
Without sleep you will die Harry. It is miraculous to me that you have continued to function at all given that it has been at least two weeks since you have slept. Whatever embarrassment or discomfort that you are seeking to avoid by refusing sleep can't possibly compare to dying. Think of the people you would leave behind. The sadness you would cause and the destiny that you would not fulfill. Is your desire to not dream about Draco Malfoy really more important to you than the happiness of your loved ones and the future survival of the wizarding world?"
He paused allowing the boy to absorb his words and respond.
"Sir," He began. "I didn't… I know that it must seem like I've been reacting childishly, but I promise you I am working on this."
"Working on this?" Dumbledore quirked his brow at Harry.
"At solving the bond issue or at least, for the time being, solving the dream issue. My friend is brewing me dreamless sleep draught and it will be ready in a few days. That will at least solve any of the immediate concerns you have for me."
"It would be better if you would just accept the dreams. Fighting against the symptoms is always only a temporary endeavor. It was my understanding that Professor Snape had given you a book to read on Veela bonds. Did the book not cover that?" Dumbledore was incredulous.
Harry looked away and replied sheepishly. "I haven't actually finished the book, Sir. I haven't touched it again since the night he gave me the book." At Dumbledore's look of disapproval Harry added. "I've been too tired for recreational reading. It's been challenging enough to keep up with my school work."
"You wouldn't be tired if you let yourself sleep, Harry. And I'd hardly consider a book given to you to help you understand your bond and the symptoms it is causing you to be 'recreational reading'. I want you to finish that book and I want you to sleep tonight am I understood?" Dumbledore's tone brooked no argument.
Harry nodded.
"Good," Dumbledore's demeanor brightened visibly at Harry acquiescence. "Now with all that unpleasantness is past us why don't we tuck into these sandwiches?" Dumbledore asked, helping himself to a cucumber chicken sandwich.
"Yes, sir." Harry tried to smile at Dumbledore's obvious concern, but his mind was already thinking about tonight. Without the potion he would dream again.
