Team England vs. Team Spain
Unfortunately for Groves and Gillette, Barbossa is now the "captain" of the HMS Providence. He's still wearing the wig even though it makes him look weird. Groves is escorting Gibbs up to where Barbossa is waiting. Gibbs is hopping with both feet, and trips on the stairs and falls flat on his face.
Barbossa: What's the matter with you? Can't you walk like a normal person?
Gibbs: Maybe, if your dumb lieutenant hadn't tied my feet together.
Barbossa: Gillette, did you tie the prisoner's feet together?
Gillette: I was simply following your express instructions, sir, to secure the prisoner, as you said, sir, and thought that if the motion of his feet were restricted he would be less likely to run away.
Barobssa: I would think being surrounded by the ocean would be incentive enough, but okay. Groves, why didn't you untie him?
Groves: Maybe I was hoping that I didn't actually have to do everything around here.
Barbossa: Whatever. Gibbs, are we going the right way?
Gibbs: I'd have to look at the map to know that.
Barbossa: What have you been doing this whole time?
Gibbs: Untying my feet.
Barbossa: *exasperated sigh* Well, have a look now.
Gibbs looks at the map.
Gillette: And no stalling, prisoner! You're making a foolish waste of Captain Barbossa's valuable time!
Barbossa: You're one to talk.
Groves: Is it time for my lunch break yet?
He looks at his watch and sighs. It's not.
Gibbs: Nice watch.
Groves: Thanks. It was a promotion gift.
Gillette: The illustrious Commodore Norrington got a sword when he was promoted, which, in my humble subordinate opinion is a much more prestigious gift to receive.
Groves: Yeah, but a sword can't tell time, now, can it?
Barbossa: And Norrington also got shanked by his ex-fiance's undead father-in-law.
Gillette starts to cry.
Groves: Why did you have to do that?
Barbossa: It's fun.
Groves: Well, every time you set him off, I'm the one who has to deal with him.
Barbossa: Someone's cranky today.
Groves: I didn't get my coffee this morning.
Groves pouts.
Barbossa: Gibbs, have you got a look at those charts yet?
Gibbs: Yep, we're going the right way. So are the Spanish.
Oh, hey, look at that Spanish galleon over there that must not have been there five minutes ago, otherwise someone would have seen it. Unless Gillette forgot to assign someone to the crow's nest again. Everybody runs dramatically to the side to investigate the Spanish ship. Barbossa trips down the stairs because he only has one leg, but recovers quickly and pretends no one saw it. Groves takes out his spyglass and sees Gonzalez standing epically on the deck.
Barbossa: First one to their battle station gets five points!
The sailors hurry to their battle stations. Five points are exciting no matter the occasion.
Barbossa: And don't forget the cannons!
Gillette: You heard the Captain! Get the cannons ready!
The cannons are ready and everyone stares dramatically at the Spanish ship. Barbossa steals Groves' spyglass and looks over at Gonzalez.
Groves: Cannons are ready. We're just waiting on you.
Barbossa keeps admiring Gonzalez's cool hat.
Groves: Sir? Orders, sir?
Déjà vu smacks Groves in the face so hard he almost falls over. Barbossa gives him a weird look and gives the spyglass back.
Gibbs: Gonzalez's pose is pretty epic.
Gillette starts trying to imitate Gonzalez.
Barbossa: Clearly they're not in the mood to get owned. They just want the Fountain. Forget everything your kindergarten teachers told you about it not being a race! Full speed ahead! More sail!
Gillette: More sail, sir! Yes, sir! I'll get right on it, right away, sir, to making more sail!
Gillette runs off.
Barbossa: (to Groves) You'd better go help him.
Groves takes the bottle of aspirin out of his pocket – the one Beckett gave him at the end of the last movie.
Groves: Good think I kept this.
Short-ish chapter this time... but next week is the mutiny! And I do enjoy parodying these sections with Barbossa and Gillette and Groves. :)
