ETWentHome, thank you for your review. Yes, Cal will find out what happens if he goes back to work. He'll only find out from Ethan if Ethan's ready to talk and if Cal's read to listen. It's all a bit iffy.

CBloom2, don't worry, I'm really happy it's not completely obvious to everyone! I hope it's not annoying you too much though. Thank you for the review x

Tanith Panic, oh yes, I love a bit of brotherly bonding! Unfortunately, it's a bit one-sided at the moment. Someone needs to do something about that. Probably me. Thank you for the review.

Becs2202, thank you for the review. Cal really needs the support at the moment. But he's not the only one...


Ethan sat beside Cal and watched as he ate half a slice of toast. Even that seemed like an effort so when Cal put it back on the plate and closed his eyes in defeat, Ethan didn't press him. Perhaps Cal would like some more later, but he'd clearly had enough for now.

"Would you like your painkiller now?" Ethan asked softly.

Cal unthinkingly nodded and went pale as the pain hit him. Ethan put one hand on the bucket, ready to give it to Cal if he needed it, but in a moment or two the colour returned to his cheeks. Ethan handed him a painkiller and the glass of water.

Cal swallowed the tablet and drank some more of the water. "I hope it starts to work soon," he said. He looked like he was trying to smile, but his lips trembled.

"I'm sure it will," said Ethan. He took Cal's hand in his own, expecting to be rebuffed, but Cal held onto it tightly. His eyes closed again and he said nothing, but Ethan knew he was trying to deal with the pain and was glad that holding his hand seemed to help.

It helped Ethan too.

It was so good to give someone medical attention and to know he was helping. It was so good to be doing something and getting it right. Ethan often didn't where Cal was concerned, but at least he was getting it right today, when they both really needed it.

Some minutes passed before Cal spoke. "I don't know how I'm going to cope with work today."

Ethan gave him an incredulous look. "You don't seriously think I'd let you go to work."

"I've already had two days off," said Cal as he rubbed at his forehead.

"I'll tell them you've had a relapse," said Ethan. Virtuously, he added: "It's not a lie."

Cal tried to smile again. "It's a good thing it's not or they'd never believe you."

Ethan smiled, glad that Cal was making even a very weak joke. "Probably not. Would you like some more toast?"

"Not hungry," said Cal. His eyes were closed again. "Tired."

Ethan wasn't surprised. Cal hadn't got much sleep last night, between the drunken crying and the throwing up. Ethan was tired too. The little sleep he'd got was cramped and fitful, sitting on the edge of Cal's bed. Cal had told him several times to go away and leave him to his misery, but he hadn't argued when Ethan had refused. That was enough to convince Ethan that it would be better to stay.

"Do you want to have a nap?" said Ethan.

"I don't know," said Cal listlessly. "I might dream about her. It's good when I'm asleep, but then I wake up again."

Ethan didn't know what to say so he just squeezed Cal's hand.

"I'm glad you're here," said Cal suddenly. "I'll probably hate myself for saying that when I feel better… if I ever feel better… but I am glad you're here. You're helping. Thank you. I just thought I'd say that while I'm too hungover to care what I say. Make the most of it because I might never say it again."

"I will. And I appreciate it." Ethan was touched. It was almost certainly a coincidence and of course he didn't want Cal to suffer, but Cal was saying and doing everything Ethan needed. Ethan swallowed a lump in his throat. "How about some tea?"

"Tea sounds good."

Ethan handed him the mug. Cal held it in both hands and sipped it from time to time, saying nothing. A couple of times, his eyes welled with tears. Ethan pretended not to notice, though he kept a careful eye on his brother. "It will get easier, you know."

"I hope so," said Cal simply. "Or I don't know what I'm going to do." He frowned. "Hey, what time is it? Shouldn't you be going?"

Ethan had expected the question, but he'd hoped Cal wouldn't notice till it was too late. "I'm not going in today."

"Is it your day off?" Cal's eyes were screwed up. Whether that was because of confusion or because the room was too bright, Ethan didn't know.

"I don't think I should leave you alone," said Ethan.

It was the wrong thing to say. Or possibly the right thing to say, as Cal instantly started to behave more like his usual self. He sat up a bit straighter and thumped his tea down on the bedside table. "Ethan, there's nothing wrong with me! I just got a bit drunk and talked rubbish like drunks do, and now I've got the headache I deserve. There's no reason for you to stay off work too. Besides, didn't you say we were short-staffed?"

Ethan felt his hopes sinking. Cal was right. He had to go. Even if he explained how unhappy Cal was (and he had no intention of humiliating Cal by doing that) it seemed unlikely Connie would agree to letting him stay with Cal. If he said he'd caught Cal's illness, that would be a different matter, but that would be dishonest and wrong – not to mention that he was an utterly unconvincing liar.

"Ethan?" Cal was looking at him closely, his eyes more alert than they'd been since Ethan had got home last night. "Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm okay," said Ethan. If he'd needed proof of how utterly unconvincing he was when he lied, that sentence would have done it.

"Because you don't look it," said Cal. He leaned forward slightly. Ethan didn't miss the flicker of pain passing across his face, but Cal didn't give in to it. "What's wrong?" His voice increased in volume as he became more concerned. "This has nothing to do with what Connie was talking to me about, has it?"

"I'm just worried about you," said Ethan. He steeled himself for what he had to say next. He knew Cal would hate it and he didn't want to upset him any further, but he knew it was the best way of distracting Cal and ensuring he asked no further questions about Connie. Ethan didn't want him to worry about that until he was feeling better. "Caleb, you were so depressed yesterday, you drank yourself half into a coma, then you spent most of last night crying on my shoulder. How am I supposed to leave you alone?"

Cal glared at him. "I'm not depressed! And I wasn't crying for most of the night. And even if I was, it was just the alcohol. I… I was reading some research saying there's evidence to suggest that alcohol stimulates the lachrymal duct."

Ethan shook his head. "I'm sure you're making that up, but even if you're not, you really aren't yourself if you've been reading research papers."

"Ethan, can you just go to work and leave me alone?" burst out Cal in an unsteady voice. He took a breath and continued slightly more calmly. "The way I feel now, I'm never going to drink alcohol again. I'm definitely not going to drink today. And if I'm not drunk, there's no reason for me to cry. Is there?"

He faced Ethan with an angry, challenging stare, daring him to mention Taylor's name. Ethan looked away first. He wanted to stay here and look after Cal and forget work existed for another day, but even if the ED could manage without him, he didn't see how he could stay behind without arousing Cal's suspicions. "Okay. I'll go to work. But I'll come and check on you at lunchtime."

"I'll be fine," said Cal defiantly. "I might be better by lunchtime anyway."

Ethan wondered for a panicked moment if Cal might come to work at lunchtime. If he did, someone would be bound to mention Ethan's situation to him and Ethan couldn't bear for him to hear about it from someone else. He didn't know how he was going to cope with the shame and disappointment on his brother's face when he found out what Ethan had done, and it would be still worse if he knew Ethan had lacked the courage to tell him.

"No, I don't think you should come to work at lunchtime," said Ethan, and carried on quickly as Cal started to object. "I'm sure you will feel better, but if you come in then, it's going to be obvious you were hungover and then everyone's going to think you've been on a three-day bender. Then if it's gets back to Zoe, which it will, she might decide Mrs Beauchamp needs to know about… about anything that might be affecting you. It's too much of a risk."

Cal stared at Ethan for a moment or two, his brain clearly ticking over, but then he clutched at his stomach again, going pale, and Ethan hurriedly gave him the bucket. After a couple of deep breaths, Cal handed it back empty, but he didn't return to the subject of a lunchtime return to work, and when Ethan finally left him holding his head and groaning to himself, he had the feeling that the thought couldn't be further from Cal's mind.