"Ron, where are we? Why do I smell… is it seaweed? Or mussels?"

"Hang on, don't get your robes in a twist! Now, I'm going to uncover your eyes in a minute, Hermione, but first you have to promise me that I won't lose any limbs if you don't like what you see. D'you swear?"

"Oh darling, I'd never dismember you! That'd be far too messy. Why on earth do you think I'd want to, anyway?"

"I may have, erm… made an executive decision."

"An 'executive decision'? What is that supposed to mean? Please don't tell me it's code for doing something so incredibly stupid that you couldn't even work up the nerve to run it past me first?"

"Don't be angry, love–"

"Ronald Weasley, what did you do?"

"I bought us a house… tada!"

"You – you – oh merciful mother of Merlin, did you spend the rest of our savings on that?"

"Hermione, now just give it a chance. I haven't had time to fix up the outside yet, but Harry and I have spent all week on the rooms inside and-"

"You told Harry you bought us a house before you told me?!"

"I just needed his help to get the floors down before I showed you. I really think you'll like it, love! Please, just don't make a decision until you take a look first?"

"It's a bit late for me to 'make a decision' if you've already bought it!"

"Come on, look at how great the view is! There's a meadow round the back that leads down to our own stretch of beach and there isn't another house for miles, so we can use magic as much as we want. Just wait until you see the kitchen, I painted it white and yellow and I found a really sturdy breakfast table that's made out of driftwood…"

"Alright, alright, I'll look inside."

"Brilliant!"

"Argh, Ron! What are you doing?!"

"Isn't it a tradition? A Muggle good luck thing?"

"Are you going to carry me over the threshold?"

"Well I'm bloody trying to but you keep squirming!"

"Oh, this really wasn't the surprise I was expecting… go on then, show me my kitchen!"

"Our kitchen. Now can you just push the handle with your foot – right, here's the front hall. I put in a new staircase and new flooring everywhere. The paint on the walls was already there, but we can still change it if you want to. There's a study in there for you, but there's only shelves at the moment. And to your left is the living room. The kitchen is straight ahead."

"You put pictures in."

"Well, yeah. You always liked my mum's wall of photos, so I thought we could have one too. Nice to see smiling faces when you walk in the door and all that! Everybody pitched in and sent some. There's even one of Victoire, somewhere… there!"

"Can I look upstairs?"

"You can look anywhere you like, love!"

"Which room is ours?"

"The double doors, here. I went for a navy carpet. Harry said it looks sort of nautical, but honestly I think I chose it because somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered mum always saying that dark carpets last longer when you have children. There's no bed yet or anything, I thought you'd want to choose that…"

"Did you put in the floor to ceiling windows, Ron?"

"Erm, yes. I thought it'd be nice to see the sea. And there are curtains! D'you think it's a bit too exposed?"

"No, I – damn it, Ron! I was all set to show you what an impulsive idiot you've been but – but… You did it. You found the perfect house."

"Well, we've been searching for months and I knew it was getting to you…"

"You did an amazing job. Honestly, I am really impressed."

"Really? You're not going to hex me when I turn around?"

"No, I promise! After all, if I was going to hex you, you'd be facing me with a wand in your hand. But Ron, we really need to do something about outside. The walls look awful!"

"I know, I've ordered the insulation paint and mum's making flower boxes for the windows. It'll be ready really soon, we can move in right after the wedding."

"Your mum's in on this as well? Is there anyone who didn't find out before me?"

"Well, Charlie's not been home in a while..."

"Ron!"