Fever, exhaustion, nausea, pains, I think. What else was there?
I'm trying to remember the stages of sickness many of the Sokovians endured before finally dying. So far, I haven't experienced anything along the lines of the flu-like symptoms the others had. I suppose that's one thing to be grateful for.
I don't know how long it's been since I was apprehended while trying to free the twins. It has to have been at least a few months but for all I know, it's been a year. It certainly feels like one has passed.
A clang distracts me from counting the various forms of illness I can recall. I pull my gray blanket over my head and pretend to be asleep. Please pass me by, I pray. Please don't take me. My door slides open and I feel my stomach sink.
"Katia." It is Pietro's voice so I toss the blanket away from me and sit up.
The twins have been allowed out of their cells and out of their grey sweat suits. Wanda is constantly in a dress and Pietro is always wearing what looks like a track uniform. They've been given the freedom to do essentially whatever they want within the compound, including having some minimal contact with me. I talk to them pretty frequently and sometimes, they are even allowed to come in and bring me food. The situation has done a complete 180. Wanda and Pietro are the ones who stand outside and observe while I'm the prisoner locked away.
From what I can tell, much is done to make the twins feel comfortable. Hydra has learned quickly that they are a force to be reckoned with, even if they did sign a form saying they wanted to participate. They aren't allowed to do much of anything with their abilities outside of a lab (especially Wanda) because of that particular fact. Wanda told me once that they were punished too, just not in as severe a manner as I have been. I don't like to think of what was done to them but I can imagine.
"I have some food for you," Pietro says, handing me a tray. He's wearing a black shirt that is so tight, I fear it will rip open. When I reach to take it from him, our fingers brush. I glance to the glass wall and see Dr. List looking on disapprovingly. There's supposed to be no physical contact between us, I assume for reasons related to the twins' powers.
"Thank you," I reply. I turn my gaze on Pietro and I can see worry on his handsome face.
"How are you feeling?" he whispers. I shrug. There's no point in lying.
"I think I'll be okay. My hair's not turning silver, is it?" I mumble, trying to make him laugh. He gives me a small smile but furrows his brow. Pietro is particularly angry about what's happening to me. He complains about how I've lost weight or how I need another blanket or that I would most certainly appreciate a book. Do I need to be taken every day, he'll ask, adding that he and Wanda were normally given some sort of reprieve. I never get to thank him for it, unless we're miraculously left alone.
"Do you want anything else?" To be free? To run away with you and your sister and never look back? For these experiments not to kill me?
"No but thank you." He makes a face but turns to leave anyway. He has no choice.
Pietro lingers outside of my cell while I slowly eat my sandwich and I let myself admire him. Pietro is obviously good looking and it's clear that he knows it so I assume before they volunteered for Hydra, he was quite the lady-killer. He probably slayed with that cute accent and those pretty eyes. I take another meager bite of my sandwich.
Weirdly enough, I feel like I know Pietro and Wanda incredibly well. I suppose situations like the ones we've been in serve as excellent bonding agents and there's something to the idea of being attached to a person that saved your life. I guess after that, you're automatically a team of friends, even if you've never had anything remotely resembling a normal conversation. And the way Pietro and Wanda have acted about me since our failed escape attempt almost makes me believe they've adopted me as one of their own. That's wishful thinking, I tell myself. They're just decent people who think they owe you a favor.
Once I finish my sandwich, I see that I have a little box of juice to drink today rather than the typical water. I glance over at where Pietro is now pretending not to look at me (and failing). That's so nice, I think because I know it wasn't Hydra's idea and my heart hurts.
I'm not overly fond of water anymore. In fact, you might almost say I'm scared of it. I'm so oddly terrified of water that I do my best not to drink more than what's needed to survive. I'm smart enough to not risk dehydration but I'm not happy about it. At least I can trick myself into believing that juice isn't really water.
I drink it and Pietro literally sighs in relief. I can see it in the way his broad shoulders shrug and how he relaxes his hands. He doesn't know what they've done to me, I try to remind myself. But he understands that I'm apprehensive about water. His worry is still consoling though. I doubt I'll ever forget it.
The torture I suffer at the hands of Hydra daily has been rather unique. The scepter is, of course, the focal point of the so-called "experiments." What can or can't it do? I am made to endure something akin to waterboarding. As I understand it from my meager education on torture from S.H.I.E.L.D., waterboarding involves a cloth being put over the victim's face and constantly being doused with water. This impairs their breathing and tricks the brain into believing the body is drowning. Sometimes, that's all it is. On other occasions, I'm put into a tank like a fish. Either way, I find it hard to believe that feeling like I'm drowning is just an illusion.
But the water is never the worst part.
The worst part comes when they shock me. It's small-scale electrocution, designed to have enough voltage to hurt me but not induce death. The shocking by itself would be enough to do some damage but combined with water, it practically becomes fatal. There's a reason why you were warned as a child to get out of the pool when a thunderstorm came up or to not drop a hairdryer into the bathtub with you. Most of the time, occurrences like that would end in death or severe injury. The only side effects I've noticed so far are a little mark on my wrist that might be a burn and my crippling paranoia of being near water. Maybe the alien scepter doesn't have too high a voltage or maybe, things are happening to me that I can't see.
I have no idea whether what's been done to me is comparable to what the twins went through but if it is, I wish I'd attempted escape with them earlier. I can only imagine the various forms of outright cruelty those two suffered and God knows what happened to the poor people that died.
I put my tray on the floor and lay back down in bed. Thinking about this is depressing and I'd rather just sleep.
As I am about to drift off, my door opens once again and I am escorted to a lab. Wanda and Pietro nervously stand by, weakly holding each other's hand. I wonder if they can hear me when I scream. I never heard them. Was I oblivious? Or are they that much stronger than I am? There's a reason why Wanda and Pietro survived the procedures when no one else did. I just don't know what it is.
I used to struggle and end up having agents carry me in but there's no point in that now. I've come to terms with the fact that it's over. I'm just waiting for the first stages of the sickness to come and then, hopefully it will be quick. It's not that I'm aching for death, I simply know it's inevitable, and the chances of me having a last hurrah are slim to none. I feel guilty when I think about leaving the twins with these monsters but they do have pretty amazing abilities. Wanda alone could probably take out this entire base. She merely doesn't know it yet. And I understand that Hydra has them scared. I'm scared too.
A bucket of water hits me in the chest as soon as the door to the lab closes and I stagger back at the impact. Another bucket pours over my head. My grey dress sticks to my skin, like it wants to run from the water too, and Agent Basso pulls me to a table. It doesn't take much force for he and Baron Von Strucker to get me on the metal gurney and strapped down. Oh God, I'm on metal. That'll make it worse.
Dr. List slowly sticks sensors to my temples, my collarbone, and the bends of my elbows. Wires run from them to the testing equipment powered by the spear. The sensors will initiate the shock.
"You did well last time, Ridley," Dr. List says. Last time I was totally submerged.
"You mean I didn't drown?" I respond. He laughs.
"I mean, who knew you'd have such a great ability at conducting electrical currents?" I'm pretty sure normal people don't do anything of the sort. The human body can conduct electricity in small quantities, like when you accidentally stick something in an outlet the wrong way and jerk back, but I'm basically going through electroshock therapy that never ends. At this point, my heart should have expired from the sheer amount of exposure I've had, right? Well, what do I know? I was training to be muscle, not brains.
There are many ways to respond to Dr. List, such as, "Who knew I'd be electrocuted every day for months on end?" but I keep my mouth shut. On some level, I think Dr. List feels sorry for me, even after I shot him. Sure, he performs the experiments and even sometimes acts like the participants in them are no more than their results, but I don't think it's lost on him that I'm human. He knows I didn't volunteer to do this. Then part of me thinks, But it hasn't stopped him, has it?
Baron Von Strucker stands off to the side to observe. He's obviously happy with himself because I'm weak and terrified now. I glare at him until I see Dr. List walk away from me. Unconsciously, my hands ball into fists, nails digging into my palms. And it happens.
It's difficult to describe just what it feels like. It's as if a tiny shock, like the one I received when I was tampering with the parts of my phone, is amplified times ten. The water only intensifies it and frankly, so does the metal. All it is to me is pain, excruciating and horrible pain. It's absolutely unspeakable.
After what feels like hours, it's over and I am taken back to my cell in a new grey dress. Once there, I get in bed. I am always emotionally and physically drained after my sessions. I try not to fall asleep because I remember that Wanda said she was going to bring me something tonight.
When she comes, Agent Basso is the one to let her into my room. He's flipping his newly returned butterfly knife. Pietro is standing behind him with his arms crossed. He's mad. But when isn't he?
"I thought you might like a book," Wanda says when she arrives in front of me. She's wearing a black and red patterned dress with boots. She looks pretty.
"That's so nice of you," I respond as I take it from her. It feels oddly bulky for such a small book and I immediately know it must not be what it seems. "Thanks."
She weakly smiles. Agent Basso calls her name aggressively and we both flinch. Pietro bristles and I can see that he's actively trying to tell himself not to do anything.
Once Wanda leaves and Agent Basso goes back to kicking puppies (or whatever it is he does for fun), I covertly open the book and a note falls into my lap. I grab it between my fingers and open it slowly, doing my best to keep it hidden.
"Katia," it begins, "please hold out a little longer. We are doing our best to rescue you as you did to rescue us. Do not give up."
I fold it back up and tuck it between the pages of the book for safe keeping. I look out of the glass wall and see Wanda and Pietro staring back rather expectantly. I nod in their direction and they nod back.
I hate to say it but I don't have very much hope. The damage to me has been done and there's nothing anyone can do about it. When I wake up the next morning, I realize just how true that is.
I'm freezing, I think, bringing my knees up to my chest. I wish I had a blanket other than the thin fleece one I'm covered in now (I don't like fleece. It makes me think of being shocked). Pietro had brought me another blanket once after finally convincing Dr. List and the others that I needed one. It was a nice, thick quilt that I loved but it had been taken as quickly as it came.
I'm not sure when my symptoms escalate. It could be once I mercifully fall back asleep or it could be when I hear the door open and suddenly realize that I'm too weak to try to hide. The door closes as quickly as it opened and I actually sigh in relief. Not today. They aren't taking me today. My reprieve is cut short when I hear voices, two of which belong to the twins.
"She is sick," Wanda says aloud, like she's in disbelief.
"Finally." There is no mistaking the pleasure in Baron Von Strucker's voice. "That girl is trouble and I'll be glad to finally be rid of her."
"Pay up!" I hear Agent Basso yell from some distance away. "I told you she'd make it six months!" I peep out from under my blanket to see Pietro scowling. Wanda is standing beside him, concern on her face.
"I'll go in and see what I can do." That's typical Dr. List.
"For what purpose?" Von Strucker asks. "Once the others got the fever, none of them lasted more than two days. You couldn't stall it then, what makes you think you could do it now?"
"You can't just do nothing!" Pietro angrily exclaims.
"Yes, we can. Ridley is due for her execution." I feel myself shudder but I can't tell whether that's from the chills or the word "execution." Pietro and Wanda see me do it.
"At the very least, you will let us in." In with me? Why would they want to do that?
"And risk the two of you getting sick?" Dr. List asks.
"We survived the illness," Wanda says. "Clearly, we are immune." My eyelids start to feel heavy and I only hear bits and pieces of their conversation.
"It's still out of the question," Baron Von Strucker asserts. The twins say something in response that I can't decipher and Von Strucker replies in turn.
"You did not listen to us and that is why this is happening. You are the ones who did this to her!" Pietro accuses. I only understand him because his tone is verging on shouting.
"She deserves it," Agent Basso contributes loudly. "She shot me!"
"And you did not deserve that?" Pietro says "that" like "zat."
"Well, you want my brother and I to be happy, do you not?" Wanda asks coolly. "You would like us to continue to be complacent and unproblematic, no?" The answer must be overwhelmingly affirmative because the door to my cell slides open. Rather than just the twins, Dr. List comes in as well. I'm disappointed. I'd rather it just be them.
"Okay, Ridley, you've got to sit up for me. I'm going to check a couple of your vitals," Dr. List says. I notice now that he's got a little bag of medical equipment.
I get up, planting my feet on the cold floor, and the twins round Dr. List to sit on either side of me. I can tell by the looks on all of their faces that it's bad. A glimpse at my reflection in the glass shows my brown hair to be stringy and my skin to be sallow.
"You know the drill," Dr. List tells me, handing me the thermometer. I place it under my tongue and shake. Wanda places a hand against my back, like that might make me warmer, and glowers when Dr. List starts to protest. On my other side, Pietro unzips his jacket and takes it off. I give Dr. List the thermometer back when it beeps and take Pietro's jacket when he offers it.
"Thank you," I say.
"103.4. You're burning up," Dr. List declares.
"It doesn't feel like it," I mutter.
"You've got the chills too." Bad, this is really bad. "Let's check your pulse." He takes my small wrist and the twins and I wait for his verdict. "It's normal, which is a good sign." There's a collective sigh. "If it slows, that's when there'll be cause for concern. But you're not too groggy, are you? Losing focus, blurry eyesight, that sort of thing?"
"Not too bad. I'm just really tired… and maybe a little achy."
"That's totally normal and luckily, it means you're not that far along. I'll head back to the labs and see what I can find to help you. Until I come back, the twins will take good care of you. Try not to fall back asleep." I nod, even though I know he's just going through the motions for Wanda and Pietro's benefit. I hear the real message under his words. You're beyond medical attention and there is nothing anyone can do to save you.
He leaves after that and the door never closes behind him. Dr. List even shoos away the vultures named Basso and Von Strucker. They must want to watch me deteriorate.
I look between the twins with the most pitiful face I can muster. "All right," Pietro says. "You may lay down but you cannot go to sleep."
"Just keep talking to me and I won't," I reply.
"I will be right back," Wanda says. She gets up and walks out the still open door. I hope she's going to get me another blanket.
I take the opportunity, with Wanda gone, to curl up towards the end of my bed. My head rests near Pietro's legs.
"This will not work," Pietro says. I stuff my hands inside his jacket to keep them warm. "I cannot see your face and you are not allowed to sleep."
"Just talk to me. Tell me about all of your girlfriends." He scoffs.
"You are the one who needs to talk. You have to stay awake." I sigh.
"Why are you and Wanda doing this?" I ask.
"What do you mean?"
"You had the opportunity to leave and you didn't take it. And you've been looking out for me." I want to list off all the ways but I'm far too tired to say any more.
"We owe you." He strokes my hair and now I know for sure that I'm dying. Why else would he do anything like that? I'm grateful that he can't see my face because my eyes feel hot with tears. "You did save my life."
"I bet you could have stopped the bullets if I hadn't."
"Well, I did not want to find that out at the time." I laugh a little and his fingers accidentally brush my cheek. "We like you too, of course."
"Of course," I reply.
"I am serious. My sister and I, we…" He pauses. "You are our only friend."
"You're my only friends too."
"Since you asked me, I will ask you. Why did you do those things for us?"
"I don't know," I whisper. "Because it was the right thing to do and because I like you." I'm not looking at him but I know Pietro is smiling.
Wanda comes back in, holding a couple of cloths. "Dr. List said these might help bring Katia's temperature down," she tells us. "He also said not to keep her too warm because that could be helping the fever. And under no circumstances should she go to sleep. If there are any changes, we must get him."
"And here I was, hoping for another blanket," I mutter.
"That is too bad," she responds. Wanda makes Pietro move so that she can sit in his spot and place my head in her lap. He rolls his eyes and sits on the floor in front of us. "Our mother used to do this when we were sick," she says, placing a cool cloth on my forehead. It makes me shiver.
"Why don't you tell me about them?" She does after Pietro states that I have to keep my eyes on him. I groan but do as he asks. It's not a burden to stare at him. I just want him to think it is.
I try to concentrate on listening to what Wanda is saying and focus on Pietro so he doesn't think I'm falling asleep but neither are easy tasks. It feels like her voice is fading in and out and I'm having to blink multiple times to clear my vision with my eyes shutting for longer and longer periods each time. Wanda just keeps talking, telling me all sorts of things about their life pre-Hydra. She keeps a cloth to my forehead and runs her fingers over my hair just like Pietro did. I notice that he's balancing listening intently to every accented word out of Wanda's mouth and keeping his bright eyes on me. At one point, he moves closer and grabs my hand. "I will squeeze it hard if I catch you dozing off," he tells me with a beautiful smile but it is hiding worry. There are creases at the sides of his mouth and his hand is clammy (or maybe, that's mine). This is my swan song, I tell myself.
After a while, Wanda gets up to find something for us to eat. When she asks whether I want some water, I say no so quickly and forcefully that she's actually taken aback. I think she's surprised I have enough energy to protest. But then she frowns in such a knowing way that I understand she's just read me and now knows what was done to me. Wanda wouldn't normally use her telepathy on me. She told me that the first time she did it would be the only time. I guess she's making an exception since I'm dying.
Pietro takes her place. He makes me sit up enough that I lean against his chest. He wraps an arm around me because he knows I'm still cold. I feel differently about letting him take care of me than I did with Wanda. Don't be silly, I command myself. And don't fall asleep.
"How are you feeling?" he asks.
"Miserable," I respond weakly.
"Are you hurting?"
"Everywhere," I whisper. Fever, exhaustion, nausea, pains. I'm running the full gamut.
"I will take you to Dr. List."
"Why? He can't do anything. Or Von Strucker won't let him." He takes a deep breath. "It would have been nice to have some cool abilities before I die. Oh well."
"You are not going to die." He sounds angry and I like that. If I wasn't so drained, I'd be angry too. I close my eyes. He says something else but I don't hear him. I feel every bit of resolve I have left completely leave me and I slouch across Pietro's lap. I think the lights flicker above us.
He brushes hair away from my neck and grabs my chin. "Katia, you can't close your eyes!" I don't think I can answer him. "Katia, please!" I finally make myself look at him as he picks me up. He wraps one of my arms around his neck and I let my fingers weakly grab at the fabric of his shirt. "We need Dr. List." I hadn't realized Wanda was back.
"Okay," she responds. "Come with me."
"Don't go fast," I whisper.
"All right," Pietro replies almost bitterly. He starts to walk, like he's scared any sudden movement might break me in half. I feel his hand against my bare leg.
"Don't let her fall asleep!" Wanda says. "Dr. List told me that might mean she's falling into a coma." Hearing those words is enough for me to try to keep my eyes open.
"Okay, Katia, keep talking to me." I don't want to talk, I think. I just want to look at you.
"About what?" I whisper. I've never really noticed that his hair is still dark at the roots. Even though my vision seems blurry, I can still see just how striking Pietro is. "About how good looking you are?"
He laughs and says, "I am not opposed to that."
"Now we know Katia really is sick," Wanda says.
"Objectively, it is true," I reply.
"Do not feed his ego, Katia. He does not need any help."
Pietro scoffs. "Do you see how mean she is to me?" he asks. I smile. "Why don't you just count for me, Katia?"
"Okay. One," I murmur. The lights flicker again, on and off as we walk by. Wanda turns to look over her shoulder. I can't tell what's in her expression. "Two." I can hear Pietro's pounding heartbeat as I rest my head against his shoulder. "Three." The door to one of the labs blasts open with the force of Wanda's magic. I stop there.
"Lay her down," Dr. List says. Where is he? I don't see him. But he must really be there because Pietro gently places me on a gurney. It isn't until Dr. List snaps his fingers at me that I realize I've closed my eyes. "Keep with me, Ridley. Once you enter a coma, there's nothing I can do for you." I try to open my eyes but I just can't. "I'm serious, Ridley. I will get the water."
"You will not!" Wanda exclaims but it works. I'm awake now and I'm ready. I reach towards Pietro and he takes my hand in his own. Wanda does the same.
"How's she doing? Is she delusional? Is there any substantial grogginess?"
"Well, I would say she's delusional," Wanda responds and I laugh.
"Check her pulse," Dr. List commands. The weight of my eyelashes is almost too much for my eyelids. Pietro moves my arm so that it faces upwards and pushes up the sleeve of the jacket he gave me. There's a prick to the bend of my elbow. "Her pulse is low, her fever has spiked, and she's close to unconsciousness. I hate to say it but it's over."
"What?" Pietro sounds somewhere between pissed and disbelief.
"This is exactly how it happened with the others. The sickness deteriorates them so quickly and frankly, we've never understood what causes it. There's no way to stop it from killing her when I don't understand it."
"Well, you better try!" I think I say, it's okay, but it's possible I only think it.
"What would be the point? Ridley isn't going to be the miracle exception to the rule and in case you've forgotten, Von Strucker did this so she would die. I'm sorry if I've given you false hope but she won't survive this."
"Yes, she will," Wanda says, "or have you forgotten what I can do to you?"
"Do it," Pietro commands. His grip on my hand tightens as I watch Wanda approach Dr. List fast and tweak her fingers. Red energy hits him in the temples and his eyes turn the color of blood.
"Wanda, what are you doing?" I moan. Maybe I didn't really say that either.
"I'll start her on an IV," Dr. List says robotically. "We may need to give her a shot of adrenaline to keep her awake. After that, I'm not sure what our options are."
"You will try everything you can think of," Wanda tells him and he nods. She's brainwashed him needlessly, I think. This is it. I can feel it. It's remarkably incredible that they would go to such lengths to save me, a girl who failed in an attempt to save them, but I feel that it's useless. I knew the moment I was tossed in a cell that I would die here. Dr. List and his scientific group haven't been sitting on a cure this whole time. Even if they had been, they would never use it on me.
Pietro offers up my hand for the IV and I barely feel it get put in. My sight starts to go fuzzy around the edges until I can no longer see anything at all. My fingers go limp, then my arms. I hear the rip of fabric and I think it's down the chest of my dress. A hand rests against my breastbone. The adrenaline, I realize woozily.
The door to the lab crashes open and I manage a groan. "What the hell is up with the lights?" It's Agent Basso. Then, "What's going on here?" Von Strucker.
I hear the syringe, which must've been filled with adrenaline, clatter to the floor and a whoosh!
In the instant that I realize I'm about to be unconscious, the needle hits my chest with enough of a blow to make me yell. I open my eyes to see Pietro clutching the syringe in hand and all of the lights in the room shatter and spark.
"Okay, what the hell was that?" Agent Basso yells.
"That was Katia," Wanda says.
Okay, again, I'm sorry for a bit of a wait. Unfortunately, there will be another one. I'm going on vacation next week and I won't be carrying my laptop. Hopefully, it won't be too long a wait but I just wanted to apologize in advance. I also hope you enjoy this chapter. It was fun to write and I'm really looking forward to the next events. I think we'll see the Avengers rather soon. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all of the support you've all given me! It's been really encouraging!
