Writing this chapter was like trying to bleed a stone and that's why it is so late. I HATE angst and I hate slow burns but sometimes it's just necessary. Next chapter is better & a little…hotter. ENJOY luvs xoxo


Chapter 7: Beautifully Scary

I woke up with the most awful hangover and I wanted to be sick. The pain ran from my head all the way down to my toes and I shut my eyes tightly trying to will myself back to sleep.

I was unsuccessful. The early morning summer light came through the light coloured curtains and I could even see bright colours behind my closed eyelids. I slowly opened them and wasn't quite sure where I was for a few moments. It took a while to get my thoughts together.

When I was awake enough to think, I realised I was in my bed at Christian's and there was a note on my bedside table.

"Eat Me" it read.

How fitting. I certainly felt like I was Alice right now. Crazy and fallen and dazed. There were two pills and some water and I took them gratefully letting the liquid soothe my parched throat. I ran my fingers through my hair, thinking that I must look as awful as I feel and tried to sift through my mind of the previous nights events.

I flopped back down on the pillow and pulled the soft covers up close to my chest. I didn't want to think about last night. I just wanted to wallow in self-pity about how awful I felt and sleep.

So I did.

I didn't wake until past noon and the only reason I woke up was because Christian Grey was hovering over my bed.

I shot up, startled and tried to tame my hair.

"What are you doing in here?" I snapped, covering myself with the blanket. I knew it was his house but I could have been naked or something! Jeez, hadn't he ever heard of knocking?

"I was checking you were alive" he snapped back. It was Saturday I think and I guessed he wasn't going to work today. He was freshly showered and in dark jeans and a dark blue t-shirt. He looked moody and annoyed.

"Considering I'm the one who saved you last night from having God knows what done to you you'd think you'd be more grateful" he said, his eyes steely on mine. His anger was much more impressive than mine could ever be.

"I put out pills for you too and then I didn't hear you stir for hours. Also, I don't pay you so much money to lie in bed. I had to send Taylor out to get me breakfast."

My heart sank at his words and everything I'd tried to supress came flooding back to me. The way he picked me up and held me to his chest. How he punched that guy and carried me all the way to the apartment and into bed. He'd even taken my shoes off and...I'd just snapped at him for no reason other than him coming to check on me. Plus I hadn't fulfilled my job. I hadn't made him food. The one thing I had to do and I hadn't done it.

I was useless and a horrible person.

With no warning I burst into tears. Hot and heavy, they ran down my face and I leaned up to wrap my arms around his neck.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me. Thank you so much for saving me, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there. I was so scared. And breakfast... I just felt so awful. I'll never do it again. Please, tell me what I can do to make it up to you? Just...please don't get rid of me."

I cried and I felt absolutely ridiculous for it. I didn't know what had gotten into me. Maybe a combination of too much alcohol and too much sleep and I also think that my period was starting. Whatever it was, I wasn't the usual reserved me today. I was the girly crying version.

I was a hot blubbering mess.

I felt Christian stiffen slightly but then his hand came up to pat my back gently. Awkwardly.

Kind of like you'd pat a dog.

"I'm not going to get rid of you" he finally said.

When he pulled me back to look at him his eyes were guarded and...wary. I'd stopped crying but I was positive my face was still blotchy and bright red.

I opened my mouth to apologise again but he did that stop sign signal thing with his hand.

"Just...clean yourself up and get dressed okay?" He said to me. "I'll see you at dinner."

I nodded and then he was gone. So clinical and…cold.

I felt very small and very confused and I didn't want to think anymore. I got up, went to my bathroom, and got ready.

I spent the day in my room. I tried to read but I couldn't concentrate on the words. They were all just blurs and squiggles on the page. At one point, I even tried calling Kate but I knew she wouldn't answer. She was probably fast asleep in bed with that burly blonde dude or nursing her hangover. In a way, I'm kind of glad that she hadn't answered. I wasn't exactly sure of what I was going to say to her but I knew it wasn't going to be pleasant. With my head now clear and my memories fully in fact, I couldn't believe she hadn't yet contacted me. She didn't know if I got home, who came to pick me up or anything. For all she knows, I could be dead and she hadn't even phoned to see if I was okay. We had arrived at the club together and we were supposed to leave together. She was supposed to be my best friend.

I was starting to doubt that very much.

If it hadn't been for Christian...I shuddered even thinking about it. He had truly saved me and for that I would be eternally grateful.

I couldn't believe how I had acted with him earlier on. It was just instinct...to having a man in my bedroom I guess. He'd frightened me and I reacted.

And then I'd blubbered like a baby and flung myself at him which had also been a stupid thing to do. It was completely unprofessional but I think the professional train had sailed long ago.

He must think I'm crazy.

I think I'm crazy.

I buried my head in my hands thinking of how best to show him how truly sorry I was. I couldn't think of anything except making a really nice dinner and that was lame but it was all I had. There was nothing else I could do was there? I certainly wasn't going to try and hug him again. I mean he had actually stiffened!

I settled on steak because I figured I couldn't go wrong with that. Everybody loved steak right?

I didn't see Mr Grey again until he walked into the kitchen at almost 7 to eat. He had wet hair and a fresh shirt on and I wondered if he'd been working out. He raked his fingers through those golden tousled strands of his and honestly, he looked delectable.

I could no longer pretend I wasn't attracted to him. I was. He was undeniably beautiful. I had never been attracted to anybody before and this was an alien foreign feeling but definitely not an unwelcome one.

I set his plate in front of him and he took it murmuring a quiet thanks.

Dinner was a subdued affair and I could cut the tension in the air with my steak knife.

It was truly awful. I was starting to slightly regret enforcing the 'no touching' policy. He was taking it very seriously and right now, I'm not sure I wanted him to.

I tried to avoid eye contact as much as possible but it seemed that Mr Grey's eyes were purposely seeking out my own. I felt them on me throughout the entire meal. I knew he was angry with me, that much was clear, but I wished he would just hurry up and get on with whatever it was he needed to say. Prolonging the inevitable was infuriating.

Eventually he finished his food and I had mostly finished mine.

There was no wine tonight.

He took a long sip of his sparkling water and then looked at me again.

"Anastasia."

I cringed and met his gaze. I didn't say anything. I felt like a child about to get scolded by their parents.

"Please just tell me one thing" he said slowly. "Tell me what on earth you were doing out at that sleazy bar?"

The way he said the word sleazy made him sound like he was talking about a strip club. Clearly, he was not impressed with Kate's choice of venue. Neither was I.

"It was Kate's idea, I didn't have a say" as per usual.

"So you couldn't say no?" He said sarcastically.

I placed my fork down angrily.

"Do you think I planned on getting so drunk? Do you think I asked a man to corner me and try and rape me? Of course not. I didn't think that agreeing to a simple night out with my friends would turn into such a disaster."

My pent up rage was flooding out of me but it wasn't even directed at Christian. I felt nothing toward him but deep gratitude. It was the anger toward Kate and my supposed friends. How dare they leave me like that? I could have been murdered and nobody gave a fucking damn! I was livid.

"Maybe if you hadn't gotten so drunk you wouldn't have found yourself in that predicament" Christian replied through clenched teeth.

What was his problem?

"I don't understand why you care so much" I said. "I'm just your housekeeper for heavens sake. Why were you even at the club?"

"That isn't the point."

"Yes it is" I said looking squarely at him. I hadn't even thought to question the obvious before now with everything else running about in my head. Was he following me? And if he was, why?

"I don't like not knowing where you are" he answered, like that was a normal thing to say about your employee.

"What?"

I was confused.

"I said I don't like not knowing where you are. Plus, you broke one of the rules."

"What? What rule? I didn't break anything!" I cried incredulously

"Reckless behaviour."

He took another long sip of his drink. I wanted to break the glass.

"I...you never said that" I was sure he had never said that rule.

"Regardless, you could have almost gotten yourself killed. That behaviour isn't acceptable Anastasia. As my employee, you should behave respectfully when you are out and you violated that by getting completely wasted. This isn't a unique rule to you, it extends to everybody that works for me."

He had that no nonsense tone to his voice and I knew that he was being serious. I opened my mouth to argue some more but he just glared at me and I shut up. Even I knew when to not cross the line. This was that time.

Plus, he was scary. Beautifully scary but still scary.

We looked at each other for a moment longer and I decided that if he was going to go back to being all professional and quoting the 'employee' card then so was I. I stood up and picked his plate up before loading them into the dishwasher.

"Is there anything else I can get you Mr Grey?" I asked with my back turned.

"No thank you Miss Steele."

I finished what I was doing and slowly made my way back to my bedroom. In the dim light as I sat on the velvet-blanketed chair by the window, I thought about how incredibly lonely I felt here. I felt out of place thrust into this extravagant world and I felt miles away from Mr Grey. I had tried my hardest but I didn't understand him at all. There were way too many layers to peel back and I wasn't sure if I had the energy or devotion anymore. I thought that last night when I had been saved by him, things would be different. We'd be able to have a more understanding relationship and maybe even...

I batted those thoughts away quickly.

It just seemed that we had taken one step forward and three steps back. If possible, things were even worse now than they were before. I resigned myself to stop thinking about it and to just get on with my job. I needed to just do what I came here for and that was to work and earn money. I had no business meddling into Mr Grey's life and I knew it was about time I learned my place.

The proletariat and the bourgeoisie had never been so clear.

I got dressed for bed thinking I might spend some time reading but as soon as I pulled back the blankets, my cell phone rang. The crappy little thing buzzed and sang loudly and I cursed it. I went to retrieve it from the chair I had been sitting on and paled when I saw the caller ID.

Kate.

I debated several times whether to answer or not but I knew she'd continue to call until I did.

"What?" My tone wasn't exactly friendly

"Oh Gosh, thank god Ana. Where the hell did you go last night?" She replied

I was speechless.

"One minute we were together the next you were gone. I guessed you just decided to leave but you could of told me. Anyway, I met the hottest guy Ana and we spent the whole night together and..."

She trailed off, a blur in the background. I ended the call and threw my phone on the ground flopping onto my bed in disbelief.

I was too tired to talk to her and argue about everything. Emotionally, I was drained. I was alone and scared and shaken up and I missed my family. My best friend behaving incredibly selfish and self-centred, my only family were miles and miles away and my boss surely hated me now for my behaviour. The last acknowledgment was the worst. I didn't want him to hate me. Quite the opposite really. I wanted him to like me and I think he might have done in the beginning a little but now… all I had wanted to do was get a job and have a nice summer. Such simple things. And now everything seemed ruined. The only logical thing to do of course, was cry.


A few of you want a Christian POV, as for that there's no plans right now but if it is fitting then I will. I wont stick it in there just for the sake of it. If you all review, I'll like literally post the next chapter tomorrow. They're like my drug. xoxo