Chapter 7

The two of them woke early the next morning, to a house full of noise. The sound of childrens' laughter and shouts were coming from the kitchen. Ennis was first to rise and when he heard the sounds, he felt himself looking forward to seeing his niece and nephew again, couldn't wait to introduce Jack. He knew they'd like him.

He turned to see Jack breathing deeply, face buried in the pillow and dark hair falling across his forehead, giving Ennis strange sensations in his stomach. God he's a looker, he thought to himself, giving Jack a feather-light kiss on the forehead and heading for the shower. Jack felt the kiss, just as he had back in Signal after their first night in the motel, but instead of feeling miserable, scared and confused, he felt bliss and happiness. He decided not to join Ennis in the shower, they would be in there all morning and they had things to do.

He sat up and stretched, then got out and gathered his clothes, waiting for Ennis to finish in the bathroom. His eyes fell on his bag, and he remembered what was in there.

Should I tell him? We're together now, I don't think I'm gonna lose him like I thought I would, which is why I stole it in the first place. But what if he gets mad? What if it freaks him out that I feel so strong on him? He's gonna take it back an' leave an' then I'll have nothin'.

I can't tell him, not yet. Not till I'm hundred percent sure he ain't gonna leave me.

His thoughts were interrupted by Ennis emerging from the bathroom, earning himself a wonderful vision of a fully naked Jack. His face broke into a grin. "Well ain't that a fine sight in the mornin'?" he said, eyes twinkling.

Jack rolled his eyes and went to kiss him, arms going around his neck as Ennis pulled him close. "You ain't so bad yourself," he murmured against Ennis's lips. "But a little overdressed I think." He finished, steering Ennis backwards into the bathroom again.

So much for gettin' things done, he thought to himself as he helped Ennis out of his clothes again.

Eventually, they managed to get a shower and emerge, after making sure the other was thoroughly washed. They followed the noise into the kitchen, where Cecilia was making breakfast and two young kids, a boy and a girl were sat at the table. The kids looked up when Ennis and Jack came in and, immediately recognising their uncle, jumped up from their chairs and threw themselves at him, yelling greetings. Jack couldn't help but laugh at Ennis's discomfort at having a pair of kids crawling all over him, but it soon evaporated as he got them under control and hugged them, replacing Jack's amusement with affection, and then sadness.

That's one thing we can't never have. Kids of our own. Even if they let us get married one day, ain't no way we can have kids. Just ain't possible. That's one thing I took from him when he chose me. His chance to be a daddy. He may not love Alma, but at least she could give him the one thing I can't. His deep-rooted fears that Ennis would leave him reared up again. He had a feeling that Ennis wanted kids, would make a great father, and now he would never have the chance so long as he stayed with Jack. He himself wasn't feeling that particular need, to have children, but he figured he would feel it if he could have Ennis's children, and he knew with all his heart he would have them for him if he could.

He was forced to put on a big, welcoming smile as Cecilia and Ennis introduced the kids to him, and as Ennis had thought, they loved him, completely fascinated by his rodeo buckle as he told them slightly exaggerated stories of his rodeo experiences. Ennis looked at him with so much love in his heart, and in his eyes, which Cecilia saw and once more, silently thanked Jack for making her brother happy. She took Ennis to one side and relayed her conversation with K.E. the night before. Ennis shook his head in despair at his brother's attitude, and said he wouldn't keep his hopes up of K.E. accepting him and Jack.

After a hearty and somewhat rowdy breakfast, Ennis and Jack were packed up and getting ready to leave. Jack was busy making sure that he'd packed the wood model, which might not have meant a lot to some people, but coming from Ennis it was something special. He thought about giving Ennis a gift in return. He'd joked about giving him a piece of wood, which he then proceeded to do so with enthusiasm, but he was seriously thinking about what he could give in return. He made a mental note to ask Ennis when his birthday was.

They were stood by the truck, watching as Cecilia made her way down the steps with the kids to say goodbye. Ennis hugged them both, then his sister, listening as she told him to take care and not to worry too much about his brother. When Jack went to hug her, she whispered "Thank you again, for everythin' you've done for him. You look after him, okay?"

"I sure will." He whispered back as he pulled away. The two of them gave one last wave and got in, grinning at each other as Jack started up the truck.


The truck was now bound for Lightning Flat, and both of them were thinking over how to broach the subject at hand. Jack had run out of excuses not to, now that they were just a few hours away. He just couldn't think how to bring it up.

Fortunately, Ennis beat him to it.

"Hey, Jack?"

Jack gave a start. "Yeah?"

Ennis fixed him with a knowing look. "You wanna tell me what the deal is with yer dad? An' please don't lie to me, I know somethin' ain't right there, every time he's mentioned you just clam right up. It ain't like you."

Jack sighed, not having the energy to resist. "Okay." He took a few breaths.

"He, uh...he used to beat me when I was little. Not just spankin' like a lot of dads might do, but...used to whup me proper, with his belt." His voice turned hard and cold as his memories came back. Ennis was stunned.

"Mama could never stop him, too scared. In the middle of the night she'd come up to my room an' bring me pieces of her cherry cake to cheer me up after a beatin'. Love my mama." He choked out. Ennis reached out and grabbed Jack's hand, squeezing it gently.

It took Jack a few moments to gather the composure to bring up his worst memory. "I was about three, maybe four, an'...I could never get to the bathroom in time, strugglin' with buttons, often didn't make it an' it went everywhere. Christ, I thought he was gonna kill me. Then he...he says 'You wanna know what it's like to have piss all over the place? I'll learn you.' He pulled it out an' he..." he trembled.

"He pissed on you?" Ennis whispered, thunderstruck. What kind of father would do that to any child, let alone a three or four year old? He knew his own father had been a bastard, never thought he'd know anyone as bad as him, but John Twist sure sounded like a good contender.

Jack started shaking. "I was cryin' all over the place an' he makes me wash everythin' down an' clean myself up. You've seen it yourself, ain't you Ennis, how I got it a bit different down there? A bit missin'? He ain't never got over that, could never get it right with him."

Ennis could see the tears forming in those deep blue eyes. His heart filled with a great ache and he quickly leaned across and put his foot on the brakes, stopping the truck and before Jack could react, he was in Ennis's arms being held tightly and letting the tears fall. He was shaking violently and sobbing as Ennis tried to find a way to hold him even closer. He'd anticipated that there was bad blood between father and son, but could never have seen this coming. He ran his hands in circles over Jack's back, shushing him and soothing him. That powerful urge to protect Jack was coming over him again. He was livid at the abuse he'd suffered, but now was not the time for anger, that would have to wait until he clapped eyes on the asshole. Jack needed him right now.

"Jack...I'm sorry. If I'd known how bad it was I wouldn't-"

"I was plannin' on tellin' ya...just didn't know how. I figured you'd get angry, an' it would remind me of how angry he was an'..."

Oh God. Ennis pulled back. "Jack, look at me." He lifted Jack's chin, his eyes swollen and cheeks flushed. "You ain't got no reason to be scared no more. I sure as hell ain't gonna lose my temper with you. I love you." He kissed him, feeling the swollen lips. "An' that thing about bein' different down there? It don't bother me. Least it don't affect yer performance." He said, earning a shaky laugh from Jack.

He used his thumbs to wipe the tears from Jack's cheeks. "I promise, nothin' is gonna hurt you ever again, okay? When we get to Lightnin' Flat, if that bastard says one thing to ya, I ain't gonna stand there an' let you take it, okay? I'm gonna be there, I don't care what he says to me but I ain't lettin' you suffer. Or your mama as a matter of fact. She sounds like a real nice woman an' I think she's passed on her good heart to you. Thank God you ain't like yer daddy. Jack, I swear..."

"What? What do you swear?" he murmured.

"To protect you an' look after you no matter what."

Jack fell into his arms again and Ennis held him close, so close. "I love you Ennis...I don't know what I'd do without you...please don't leave me."

"I ain't gonna leave you. Yer all I've got, rodeo. I lose you an' I'm left with nothin'. An' you know what? I like that I've only got you left. I don't need nothin' else." He pressed his lips into Jack's hair as Jack buried his face in his neck.

"But I saw you with the kids this mornin'...you'd be a great daddy an' even if you don't love Alma, she could give you kids like I know you want..." he trailed off.

"Oh, Jack..." he pulled away again, looking into Jack's eyes. "That's true, she could give me one thing you can't. But there's one thing you can give me that she can't. You know what that is?" Jack shook his head.

Ennis gave a little laugh. "Love. I love you, you dumbass. Yeah I'd like kids, but if I gotta choose between that life an' this life...well, this life has you in it, so I don't need to think twice." He brushed Jack's hair back from his forehead and wrapped him in his arms again.

Nothin's gonna hurt you no more, darlin'. I swear.


They drove through a desolate area, passing by several abandoned ranches overgrown with foliage. Ennis was beginning to wonder how on earth somebody as full of life as Jack could possibly have come from a place like this. Jack eventually drove the truck down a dirt road and pulled up in front of a weathered house, and Ennis took in the peeling paintwork, the overgrowing fields and the barn. He could picture himself and Jack working on this place. There were no other trucks in sight, which meant Jack's father wasn't around.

Good thing too, Ennis thought to himself. If I saw him now I'd probably kill him. Need time to calm down first.

Jack stopped the truck and looked up at the house he so hated, the house he'd lived in all his life and yet somehow had never considered home. Ennis squeezed his hand. "You okay there?" he asked softly.

"Yeah...I guess I'm just nervous. I ain't got no idea how this is gonna go."

"You know, if you don't wanna stay here, we don't have to. We could go somewhere else. I'm sure your mama would understand." He could sense Jack's fear of his father again, and that it might be a good idea to rethink this plan. Maybe Jack wasn't ready for this, to see his father just yet.

"Nah, it's okay. S'only for the winter anyway, right? We'll be outta here come spring." He sighed. Ennis smiled and nodded. That was the plan, after all, to spend the winter here and find their own place in the spring. All of a sudden, he found himself wishing that the winter would pass soon, so they could get to looking for their own place.

He pulled Jack close to him and kissed him gently. "It's gonna be okay, darlin'." Jack smiled, hoping he was right. Ennis pulled their foreheads together, just as Jack had on their very first night together, and held him there, letting him breathe out his nerves and tension.

They climbed out of the truck and stretched, Jack scowling up at the house again, but then his expression brightened when the door opened and a middle aged woman with dark red hair stepped out, beaming. Jack half-ran up to his mother and hugged her tightly. Ennis couldn't help smiling. At least one of Jack's parents loved him.

He finally released her and she turned to Ennis, as did Jack, grinning and motioning him over. Ennis blushed slightly and walked forward.

"Mama, this is Ennis Del Mar, the guy I told you about from Brokeback. Ennis, this is my mama, Rose Twist." Jack introduced them, trembling slightly. He couldn't believe he was actually doing this.

Ennis tipped his hat. "Pleasure, ma'am." He mumbled. She smiled and walked right up to him, placing her hands on his shoulders.

"The pleasure's all mine, for you've made my boy happy at last." She replied, kissing his cheek. Jack was fighting back tears. "Come on in, both of you." She walked back into the house and Ennis and Jack looked at each other, love in their eyes.

They walked into the house, emerging into a small dining room with an even smaller kitchen to the right. The walls were whitewashed and dull, a few decorations here and there but the bare minimum. An archway at the back of the room opened through to the living room at the back, and just before it a creaky staircase leading upstairs. Rose motioned for them to sit down at the table and they did, Ennis with his back to the door, Jack on his left.

"So whaddaya think?" Jack asked, a touch of bitterness in his voice. Ennis squeezed his hand again.

"It don't matter to me, rodeo. It could be a shack an' it wouldn't matter 'cos it's where you come from. That's all I care about." Jack smiled in thanks.

Rose came back with three coffees and plates of cherry cake, which made Jack sit up and lick his lips. Ennis rolled his eyes and watched him with affection. The three of them settled into their meal. "This is real nice of you, ma'am." Ennis said, trying the cake. He soon started to see why Jack loved it so much.

"Oh, please, Ennis, call me Rose. I'm practically your mother-in-law ain't I?" she said, eyes twinkling. Ennis blushed and Jack laughed.

"Um...Jack told me what you said on the phone. Are you really okay with this?" he thought it was too good to be true, and that she might change her mind once she saw them together.

Rose smiled. "I'm fine with it. The Lord never makes mistakes, that's what I was taught. He sent you to Jack for a reason, an' it wouldn't be right for you to try an' resist it. You believe in soulmates, Ennis?"

Ennis looked at Jack, looked into his blue eyes. "Before I met Jack, I didn't. But after bein' friends with him an' then gettin' together with him, I'm startin' to." Jack went slightly pink in his cheeks, a grin hitching onto his face.

"Well, if you believe that someone is your soulmate, chances are that they are, an' you should embrace it." She smiled. "An' I can see it in your eyes how much you love each other. You be sure to look after my boy, Ennis."

Ennis smiled. "I'd be pleased to, ma'am...I mean, Rose."


Jack's father, thankfully, worked out in the fields all day, so they still had a few hours left before the inevitable confrontation. Ennis had promised himself to try and keep a lid on his temper, not easy when he thought about everything Jack had suffered. He'd sworn to protect him and he would do that if the old man started on him. No way would he just hang back and let Jack be belittled.

The three of them were sat in the living room, listening to the rain patter on the windows. Rose was knitting in her armchair, Ennis and Jack were sat huddled up on the sofa, which made Jack think back to his fantasies of their ranch, huddling up like this in front of a warm fire while the heavens could open outside if they wanted to.

"So, boys," Rose said, "What're your plans?" she asked, counting the stitches.

Jack cleared his throat. "Uh, well, if it's alright with my dad, we was thinkin' maybe we could fix the place up a bit. Paintwork needs doin' on the house, fields need seein' to. I thought maybe we could give him a hand through the winter, you know?" Rose nodded. How she wished her husband could see that his son was constantly trying to get in his good books, even after all he'd done to him. He still sought approval from his father and John could never see it.

As if he read her mind, Ennis spoke up. "Uh, Jack told me about his father, the things he did..."

Rose sighed. "I tried to stop him, told him you were upset, Jack. He didn't never listen. I should've tried harder..."

"Oh, mama, it ain't your fault. He wouldn't never listen to no-one. Remember when you tried to tell him off, an' he started on you? An' I stood in the way an' told him to leave you alone?"

"Of course I remember that. I'd never heard you cry so badly in all your life, Jack. He must've hurt you somethin' awful." Her eyes were swimming with tears at the memory.

Ennis was dumbstruck. "You never told me about that." He said to Jack, once more feeling heartbroken that his beloved Jack had had to suffer through something like that. Jack looked at him, an apology in his eyes.

"Sorry, cowboy, but...when I got to tellin' you about the bathroom incident, I just broke down, remember? Couldn't take it no more. I was gonna tell you..." Ennis sighed and pulled him into his arms.

"S'okay...you don't hafta apologise." Jack clutched at his back.

Rose watched them with interest, seeing the love between them, and couldn't fathom why people would say it was wrong. Yes, they were both guys, but the love was there, and true. She could tell that they meant a lot to each other, that they'd been through so much already and that, unfortunately, their troubles were probably far from over.

The rain was getting worse outside, and they all jumped when they heard the front door slam. Ennis and Jack broke apart, and Ennis was taken aback by the sheer fear in Jack's eyes as he looked over Ennis's shoulder, waiting for the inevitable.

"Jack? Look at me." He touched Jack's cheek. Jack looked at him, scared.

"Remember what I said. I'm gonna protect you no matter what. He ain't gonna hurt you no more, darlin', okay? You're safe now." Jack nodded mutely. He knew this whole scene could turn out very badly, but he felt safer than he ever had in this house, now that Ennis was here and was looking out for him. He knew his father wouldn't stand a chance against Ennis if he decided to start insulting either of them. Ennis had steel in his backbone, which in a more appropriate moment, Jack would have found sexy, but right now saw it as an indicator of a protector, someone who would look after him.

Ennis sensed someone entering the room, and he saw Jack's eyes darken. He took a deep breath and turned.

Standing in the doorway was an older man, wearing faded overalls and a checked shirt. He showed signs of balding and his face carried a look of a man who hated everything in life, and everybody he knew. His eyes scanned the room, looking at his wife, who was calmly still knitting, though her hands were still shaking. He saw Jack, looked at him with contempt, then his eyes fell on Ennis.

"Who's this?" he groused, seeing how closely together the newcomer and his son were sat. His eyes narrowed.

"Um, Dad, this is my friend, Ennis Del Mar. We was workin' together up on Brokeback this summer. We, uh, we really hit it off." Jack replied, thinking about how much of an understatement that was.

"What's he doin' here?" John asked by way of greeting.

"Well...I told him I was comin' up here an' helpin' you through the winter, so...he offered to come an' lend us a hand."

"Hm. You any good on a ranch, Del Mar?"

"Uh, yes sir. Worked on ranches for five years, since my parents died an' me an' my brother an' sister hadta make our own way."

John grunted and muttered something about going to wash up before dinner, which Rose took as her cue to go and get dinner started. They both left the room and Jack exhaled, shaking. Ennis made sure John was definitely gone before wrapping Jack up in his arms again, nuzzling his neck as he felt a few tears fall from Jack's eye onto his cheek.

"S'okay, rodeo, it's gonna be okay." He soothed, wishing there was some way he could make all the bad memories go away, for the pain to stop.


Dinner was quite subdued, a polar opposite to the dinner they'd shared with Cecilia and Tom. Ennis, Jack and Rose sat in their previous positions, while John sat in the chair facing the door, evidently trying to establish himself as the stud duck here and making sure everybody knew it. Rose was trying to make pleasant conversation, asking Ennis about his childhood and his family. Jack listened intently. He knew all about Ennis's childhood of course, good parts and bad parts, but was keen to divert his attention away from his father.

Ennis could sense John's piercing eyes on him, weighing him up, trying to see what kind of person he was. Every time he spoke to Jack, no matter how innocent the exchange, he could see John's eyes narrowing, clearly having his suspicions about the relationship between his son and this silent stranger.

"So, Del Mar," he spoke up. "You fixin' to get hitched or anythin''?" he said, as if he was looking to confirm his suspicions.

Jack looked at Ennis, who swallowed. "Uh, well I was, but I've called it off. I ain't ready yet. Alma was upset, but I think she understands."

"Hmm. Won't be long before this one ups an' runs off to get hitched." He said in response, nodding at Jack, who felt a mixture of fear and anger building up inside him.

"Don't think I'm ready yet Dad, neither." He said, resolutely not looking at him.

John scoffed. "Won't be long. You always thought this place weren't good enough for you, bet you can't wait to get outta here. That's if anybody'll want a cryin' little pissant like you."

Clang. Ennis dropped his knife and fork on the table and looked daggers into John's eyes, noticing that Jack's had filled with tears.

"Listen here. If he's been cryin' it's only 'cos of you. Yer the one who had to make yerself look big by beatin' on a poor defenceless kid who only tried to love ya. He told me everythin'. Told me what ya did to him. If you were a decent father you wouldn'ta done that, no decent father woulda done that."

John stood up. "What's it to you? You've only been here five minutes, what business is it of yers what happens in my house?"

Ennis stood up too. No way would he stand for this. He'd sworn he would be civil as long as John was, and now a line had been crossed. A protective surge ran through him as he looked down at Jack, who was looking up at him with big eyes. Would he say it?

"I'll tell ya why it's my business. 'Cos I ain't gonna stand here an' let you hurt Jack no more. My own daddy was a bastard, but I didn't think I'd meet someone half as bad as him. You proved me wrong, Twist. An' you don't deserve to share that name with him. You wanna start on Jack, you'll hafta go through me. I ain't gonna let it happen. I ain't gonna stand here an' let you insult my fella." He said angrily, keeping his gaze steady as he spoke the last two words.

"I knew it." John spat. "I seen how close you two are, knew somethin' wasn't right. Yer my son's queer boyfriend ain't ya?"

"He's more than my boyfriend, Dad." Jack spoke up. Hearing Ennis speak those words and declare openly that he would protect him had given him the strength to look up at his father. "I love him, an' he loves me."

"That's right. An' I'm gonna protect him from the likes of you no matter what." Ennis finished, placing a hand on Jack's shoulder. "We came up here to help you, an' if you don't want us here, fine. We'll go. But whether we're here or not, it don't change a thing. We'll still be together. But I'm sure you're gonna need help through the winter." Bribery wasn't something he was proud of using, but he knew they needed time to figure out their plans, and they had nowhere else to go.

John glared at him, then at Rose, who had remained silent during this exchange. She hated confrontations, but she was quite prepared to back them up if she needed to. She too was feeling a sort of new strength now Ennis was here and standing up to John in a way she and Jack had been too scared to.

Finally, John released the breath he'd been holding. "Fine. You can stay an' do whatever you want to the ranch, an' the house. Needs doin'. But no queer stuff, you hear me? An' sure as hell no sleepin' in the same room."

"Fine. We'll sleep in the truck." Ennis replied. He'd half-expected that. John grunted and stomped out the door. Jack let out a shaky breath and held his face in his hands.

Ennis saw he was shaking, so walked over to him and placed him arms around him from behind, crossing them at his neck, leaning his cheeks against Jack's.

"Sorry about that, Rose. Didn't mean to get him riled up." He said, looking up at her.

She shook her head. "It's alright, Ennis. I'm awful glad you stuck up for Jack like that, an' that he's found someone like you." She smiled and gathered the dishes up, retreating into the kitchen.

Ennis kissed Jack's cheek. "You okay?" he whispered, looking at him.

Jack placed his arms over Ennis's and sighed. "I am now, cowboy."