May, 1943
Camp Mackall, North Carolina
"Oi, Jem!" I looked up from my paperwork that I was going over in my quarters to see who was calling me from outside my window. One year going into the war and I was still getting my bearings around the army when it came to my reputation. Not only was I getting a bass amount of respect and admiration from the men because of me punching out one man in one swipe, but they too saw me in a new light because of me jumping out of a airplane. A lot of the men were seeing me as one of them, not just my Company. Although it was still something I was trying to get used to, I was no longer the outsider.
Not in my mind at least.
I still made friends with the other Combat Medics, since I knew in the future that I might have to rely on them if I ever needed supplies or an extra pair of hands. They were all just as nice and respectable as I thought they would be though I was mostly around Spina and Eugene. Eugene and I would hang out together, when we would have medical training instead of regular soldier training. I loved having light conversations with him, mostly about books and what kind of books I was clearly interested in. The rest of Easy were getting under my skin too, in a good way. I saw them more as friends now instead of comrades, people I could go to for both a light conversation and meaningful talks. They were all growing close to my heart, having me wonder if I was willing to put my own neck on the line for them. Would they for me? Would they be willing to know about my Epilepsy and be fine with it?
"Out here." I looked again, seeing that it was coming from the window next to my bed in the cabin. Swinging my leg over my cot and peering over at the window, I saw a head pop up from the outside. I grinned, seeing that it was Luz who was giving me a massive grin on his face and his head tilted to the side. Of course, he would want to poke his own head outside my window, and I just grinned at him.
"Can I help you, Luz?" I asked him placing my hands on the window frame as I eyed him from inside the cabin. He looked mischievous, as if he was up to something. Hell, that was his face all the time.
"You are needed outside our cabin for an impromptu meeting." He explained in a smokey accent, almost sounding like Sobel again. I rolled my eyes, clearing not buying that he was hiding something from me.
"Come on, Luz. What's going on here? Can't you see I'm tryin' to do some real work here?" I asked him, pointing to the stack of papers that I had to fill out for some of the members in Easy Company. He kept his composure though, not caving in as he spoke once more.
"Don't ask questions, just get your lanky ass out here before I sent Bull in to snag you himself." Luz threatened, having me glare at him now and almost give him a snarl.
"I'd like to see you try." I warned him carefully, hearing him chuckle.
"Shut up Liebgott and get out here." He finally said back to me in a breathy tone. I grumbled, getting up from the bed and finally deciding to join him outside. I had no clue that he was going to do, and what he was up to, but I wasn't going to be a stickler and not show up for him. Walking over to the front door, I grabbed my combat jacket over my white medic shirt. I threw my hair up in a messy bun, the long bangs were framing my face as I opened the door to my cabin and walking out two steps before I was then bombarded by Bull, who then picked me up over his shoulder. I squealed in retaliation, trying to get down, but his force was far overbearing my own.
"What in the hell!" I said in protest as he walked, me over his shoulder and seeing the cabin getting smaller and smaller and he was taking us over the green grass area. Luz joined him, looking cheeky as I was giving him a brooding look on my own face.
"Hey, it was either you coming out and this happening or Bull comin' in himself to snag ya. Be glad you chose to come out yourself." Luz reassured me.
"Where are we going? Are ya going to tell me that?" I asked him in a gruff tone.
"Nope." Bull answered shortly with me, having me punch him in the shoulder, "Oh gee, Jem. That one really did hurt me."
"Go to hell." I snapped at him, "Where are you takin' me?"
"Can't tell you. We are sworn to secrecy and if we spill the beans then we shall be killed on the spot." Luz answered in a more officer like an accent. I was still trying to get out of Bull's grip on my middle, but it was no use. I sighed in defeat, hearing Bull chuckle and the vibrations of his laugh were against my own body.
"Better to just go with it: resistance is futile." Bull explained to me in his own tone of gruff.
"Apparently with you boys. Is this even allowed, thrown' a girl over your shoulder and carrying her like she's some kind of lumber stack?" I grumbled at him as we were turning a corner to what looked like a deserted cabin, no lights were on and nothing was moving around on the inside. This was even more suspicious on their park.
"You're not a girl: you're an Easy Company soldier. Get it right, now quit before you break a nail." Luz explained to me in a playfully harsh tone.
"You would like to see me break a nail, would ya?" I snarled back as we were right in front of the chain now, though Bull was walking up to the door.
"It's funny how people are still wonderin' how you and Joe are related, when clearly it's all about your sassiness and how you making everything difficult. And why aren't you married yet?" Luz asked me in a nonchalant manner. I only flipped him off, seeing him grin from ear to ear at me. I was about to answer him when Bull finally lowered me to the floor. I just glared at him, though I had to crane my neck in order to look at his eyes. Bull just smirked, crossing his arms in front of him.
"Don't expect any kind of kiss from me." I explained, jabbing my finger into his chest and he chuckled.
"Just open the door and no one will get hurt." He reassured me, gently nudging me to the door. I gave him a hard look before going to the front door, pausing for a moment before I placed my hand on the doorknob. There had to be something up their sleeve, having me really curious and irritated that they were not going to tell me why they practically attacked me and took me from doing my work.
"I hope you know, if I get an earful from my Head Combat Medic about not getting the paperwork done, I will personally punch the both of you." I warned them both as I looked over my shoulder. Bull just sighed as Luz looked more irritated as I was not going to open the door. Not yet.
"Fine, you can punch us. Just open the Goddamn door. Dear God, you're worse than your own twin." Luz complained to me, having me wink at him before opening the door finally. I heard nothing, saw nothing as there was darkness in the cabin. I walked in carefully, thinking that I was about to have a sneak attack flung on me from someone in the Company. But I could only hear my breathing as I walked in a few more steps into the cabin, wondering what in the hell was about happen. If it was one thing that I hated, it was surprises.
So it was no real big surprise when the lights were on quickly from the switch and then I heard "Surprise!". I blinked, seeing a sea of faces from Easy Company and some of the Nurses that I befriended the past year. They were all smiling at me, cheering and my heart was about to jump right out of my chest. I grinned, wanting to be mad at all of them but I couldn't since they were all going closer and closer to my heart. There was warmth in my stomach there, the warmth of pure adoration and love for a group of people that I never thought I would get from the army. They were all there, and they were trying to cheering for me for some reason.
"What in the hell?" I asked aloud in an out of breath manner as I saw Joe move through the sea of familiar faces and walk over to me with his own grin. I was blushing mad then, having me look at him carefully as he stood in front of me.
"They bombarded me too, and then Bull and Luz left to find you." Joe explained to me in a huge grin on his face, though I was still confused as to why I was here and why they were saying surpass to me.
"What's going on anyways?" I asked him, seeing him eye me with a questioning look as if this was clear to him and not to me. I kept my eyes on him as he shifted with his footing.
"You know what today is?" He asked me in amusement, having me think of why today was somewhat special. It was a Monday, and it was Mid May. I then realized, having me feel more like a fool since it was the fact that I forgot clearly what today was. Days were coming and going in the army, and for me to keep track of what was happening on a calendar was the last thing I wanted to do. Nursing and Combat Medic training was taking over my life and making it more and more stressful for me. So now I looked like a fool, and I smiled at Joe and I saw him smile back, since he knew that I realized what day it was. May 17th.
"Our birthday." I said back to him in a breathy tone, rubbing my face with my hands and I could hear him chuckle from me trying to hide the blush of embarrassment on my face and in my stance.
"Gottverdammte (Goddamn) I forgot about our birthday." I said in a miserable tone, seeing Joe just shake his head with the grin still on my face.
"They made it worse for me, giving me hell from the moment I walked in and I almost tore them all up good." Joe reassured me, giving me a hug and I hugged him back. I could hear someone turning on a record player in the background, band music being played and the friends all around us were talking amongst each other and having a good time while I was talking to my brother on our birthday. I noticed the boys also grabbed some tin cans from the mess hall and some bottles were passed around.
"Clearly, since they love you so much for your kindness and gentle spirit." I countered with him, seeing him give me a playful glare and shove me lightly in the shoulder.
"Hey, quit being a bitch and have a good time right now, okay? You deserve it more than me." He explained to me back in his gruff tone, having me grin back as I saw a couple of people approaching us, giving me nice and gently hugs as they were clapping Joe on the back. They were all wishing up happy birthday, and even Toye and Malarky came over with grins on their faces.
"You should have seen the look on your brother's face: pure shock and hate. Does he even like having a surprise birthday thrown for him?" Malarky asked me in confusion as I looked over at Joe, who was talking to Lipton and Perctone and they were joking about something.
"Nope. When we turned fifteen he almost lost it. We both aren't very good with surprises, but I think I'm a bit worse since I'm the more reasonable one between the both of us." I explained back to him, seeing him grin from what he heard.
"Well, we heard that your birthday was coming up and we decided to get you both a nice afternoon off from doing anything. We smuggled in some apple cider from the mess hall, although it's not the real stuff it's good enough for us." Malarky explained to me though I raised my eyebrow at him and crossed my arms in front of me.
"And how did you find out that it was our birthday?" I asked him, as if I was a mother about to scold their son in front of his friends.
"We found out in your file," Toye answered for him, having me now look at him with a confused look on my face, "We saw a stack of files on one of the officer's desk when I was trying to find some information about Guarnene…if he was in fact allergic to something that I was going to use as a prank." The last part he mumbled as if he was trying to cover up that last piece of information. I just grinned at him, seeing that he was trying to be so tough and yet he was innocent about it.
"Anyways, we found your file and noticed that your birthday was coming up, and since you're our only dame in the Company and you tend to be our rhyme of reason," Malarky continued on with the story, though I gave him a questioning look when he called me the rhyme of reason in the Company, "We wanted it to be a special day for you."
"Well, thank you very much. Although I hate surprises, I appreciate it." I thanked them both. It was a nice thought of them to do this for Joe and I, and we both were growing closer to these men there. I moved away from the two of them and over to the nurses whom I met there and who came with us from Camp Toccoa, talking to them and hearing them say Happy Birthday. I was kind of glad that I and other women there who were just as kind and just as friendly as the men were to me in my Company. After say hi to all of them, I ran into Alice, who was the last one to come over and hug me. I hugged her back, seeing her smooth out my brown waves with her delicate fingers, though I was still seeing that she was beyond beautiful.
"I'm glad you're here. I was worried that I would be here with all boys." I explained as she just shook her head.
"Oh goodness no. David told me that plan among the boys," Alice replied, having me look away from her and around seeing Webster, who was talking to Martin and Joe and they were just bickering back and forth with each other, though Webster looked over at the both of us and having me see him smile from seeing Alice. That one look was the sudden realization: he liked her. He liked Alice.
"Not to mention that I got the rest of the girls in on the plan too, since I figured you wanted more women than just a group of rowdy boys." She soothed me, having me grin at her and give her a wink, though she giggled. I looked past her at some of the nurses talking to some of the boys from Easy already, getting to know each other and they were having a good time. I chuckled.
"Well they are getting along just nicely from where I'm at, not to mention you and Webster getting along together quite famously." I said amused, though I saw her look a bit flattered and a hint of red was on her perfect cheeks.
"Oh please, Jemmie. I don't think there's anything going to happen there." She reassured, but I shook my head.
"That's not what I see." I commented, seeing her just grin and turn her heel at me, walking away and I giggled. I give her credit: she may be as beautiful as an angel, but she was also too kind for this kind of war. Her grace in the room was enough, enough for all of us to fall in love with her. I just sighed in relief, actually pretty glad that I wasn't in front of a bunch of paperwork and now being able to chit chat with my friends. But then again, I still felt like an idiot for forgetting my own birthday. I saw nothing real big about my birthday always, though that made me feel more like a Debbie Downer. But my thoughts came into a halt when I saw Eugene Roe walk over to me. I didn't see him in the sea of people, not at first since I was too flustered about the whole thing. But he was walking over, something was in his hand behind his back and a grin was on his face. I was so used to the serious looking face on Eugene when it came to training and doing medicine, but the smile he would have would make the world stop turning in front of me.
"Happy birthday, Jemima." He congratulated me, having me grin and nod my head at him once.
"Thank you, Eugene. I was a bit surprised about it." I explained to him with a shrug of my shoulders.
"You don't do birthdays?" He asked in a confusing tone though I grinned from seeing the look of innocence in his eyes.
"Not a whole lot." I replied casually, seeing him look a bit hesitant and then pulling out was behind him. It was a book, having me watch him and he was holding it now with both of his hands, the same hands that were bred to work with medicine and to help people, and he was holding it like his life depended on it.
"I found this and I thought you would like it." He explained, being a bit bashful about it as he handed it to me. I took it carefully, touching the cover with my fingers and seeing the title of the book: The Waste Land and Other Poems of T.S. Eliot. I wonder at first why he thought of me when he found the book, but then again I remembered plenty of times when we would talk about me loving to read books. I have read T.S. Eliot a couple of times, and I loved how he wrote things in his books. I never thought I would get a present while I was in the army, let alone from Eugene. But then again, it was Eugene, of all people in Easy who was more prone to give small bursts of brilliance. So now that he was giving me a book for my birthday, and I was feeling as though I was given the most precious gift in the world. I grinned, the warmth in my stomach was coming back over my again every time I would see Eugene or hear his voice.
"I didn't know if you read this one, you talked about reading the author a couple of times, and I asked Alice though she had no idea…" Eugene trailed off, trying to have his case be heard but I looked up at him, placing my hand on his own that was folded in front of him since he was looking at me, waiting for approval.
"Thank you." I sincerely thanked him, seeing him finally smile big at me again. He looked healthy again, no longer under stress from Sobel and with bags under his eyes from the sleepless nights of work and studying medicine. He was handsome from what I could see. But it wasn't the appearance that he and that made him handsome, though he had good features. He was his smile, the kindness in his tone of voice, and how he carried himself, that made him beyond handsome.
"You're welcome. I wanted to give you something nice." He explained to me in a calm manner.
"Way to be subtle with me when it comes to flirting with me." I joked with him, though he chuckled.
"I try really hard actually. I'm not really good to talk with girls, but I'm known to have a smile that's a lady killer. " He replied back smoothly, having me now look at him in surpass.
"Well, what do ya know, Eugene Roe can dish it out like the rest of us." I commented to him, seeing him just grin and chuckle from in front of me. I was glad to have a friendly conversation with the guy, and I looked back down at the book in front of me, opening it to a random page and reading out loud what I was seeing:
" 'And the lost heart stiffens and rejoices in the lost lilac and the lost sea voices and the weak spirit quickens to rebel for the bent golden-rod and the lost sea smell quickens to recover.' " I quoted from the book, a grin on my face and how it was sounding when I spoke it out of my lips. Something about reading that passage from my book that Eugene gave me. It sounded heavenly, having me realize that I was now going to be reading this book over and over now on my spare time and being fine with it. I would rather get lost in a book than get lost in a fight and with my temper, something that clearly made me contrast with my brother whom though reading was like pulling teeth.
I looked back up, seeing Eugene watching me now with a glint in his eye. He looked almost inscrutable but then it clicked. I knew that glint, but it was not from Eugene. It was the same glint that I would see in young lovers, in the eyes of Joe when he would bring home a new girlfriend, or even in the movies when the two people meet for the first time before they would fall in love. There was always a thought in my life that I would never get that look, have those feelings of warmth in my stomach and that glint in someone's eyes towards me. But here I was, 28 years old and was standing in front of someone whom had the opposite personality as me, and he was making me feel like I was the only person in the world and I was all that he wanted to look at.
It made me realize: I had feeling for Eugene Roe.
"What?" I asked him, now a bit confused as to why he was looking at me that way.
"I never read any T.S. Eliot, and I like how it sounded when you read it." He explained to me, putting his hands behind his back since I could tell he and no idea what else to do with his hands.
"Is this you trying to flirt with me?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, seeing him grin from ear to ear again and no longer feeling a bit out of place as I cocked my head at him, "Is Eugene Roe flirting? This must be some kind of miracle."
"Okay, okay, place nice," He tried to not have me embarrass him, though I laughed and he kept his grin on his face, "I'm just trying to be nice to you. I like how to read aloud, some people aren't as good at it as you are."
"Well, thank you. If I wasn't going into medicine, I would have made a living reading books out loud." I joked with him though I heard another nice song coming on through the record player. We both looked, seeing some of the soldiers dancing with the nurses since the song was nice and slow. They were just dancing together, although I could tell they were into each other and talking sweet to one another. This only reminded me of high school dances and outings with my own friends, when I would be a fly on the wall compared to the others who were getting boys left and right.
"Come on." Eugene said to me, grabbing my hand and taking me over to the couples that were dancing. What was he doing? Was he out of his mind, taking me over there to dance. I thought I was the bold one, but he was now taking me there as if we were already a couple and having our own moment there on the dance floor in the abandoned cabin.
"Eugene, I don't dance." I hissed and I looked at him faintly, not wanting it to be heard by anyone around. He just grinned in front of me.
"Don't or can't?" He asked me, now being the cocky one.
"You know what I mean." I replied, seeing him them place one arm on my waist and the other hand was still holding my own like I was far too delicate for him to handle. My heart was now going at a speed that I was not used, but this time I was not afraid that my Epilepsy was going to get the best of me. This time was the fact that I was far too nervous and excited and scared that his hand was on my waist and he was being so bold with me. Who was he to be bold? That was my job in the relationship.
"I can show you how since I learned from the best." Eugene reassured me, as we started to sway back and forth on the floor. I felt as though we were being watched, though none of the others seemed to mind since they were too busy talking to each other and laughing about jokes and other meaningless things. But then again I was petrified, since I had no idea what I was doing.
"And who would that be?" I asked him with a set look on my face, suddenly realizing that we were very close to one another now instead of having a bit of space between us. I could see how warm his eyes were, how his black also had some shade of blue to it from the light above us, and how his jawline looked and made him more handsome that I gave him credit for. Looking at him this close, was making me loose my own breath.
"My mother." He answered, having me grin at him as he was clearly leading the dance between the both of us. It was nice, just going back and forth and just liking the fact that we were sharing this moment with each other. Is this what Joe felt when he would dance with a pretty girl at a dance? Or even what my parents felt when they would dance together in the living room when they thought we weren't watching around the corner. I had no real explanation as to why this would happen when we were about to go to war, but it was. Eugene was someone whom I would never pick out in a crowd that would make me feel this. Was it his kindness and the way he would calm me down to earth other than being too brash and outspoken, or even how he looked at me from afar that would make want to blush mad.
We were just smiling at each other, acting like old friends who were just being comfortable with one another. Hell, we were good friends. We knew a lot about each other then, and over the past year of talks in the mess hall and with medical training, I could consider him someone that I could go to about anything. But there was still a hesitancy there, as we swayed back and forth with the music. Was he going to be accepting of my Epilepsy? Would he care? Why would I think that he wouldn't care? He was far too caring, and for him to not care about me and my disability would be a total lie. I was just glad I found him in a time that called for sanity, since I fear that I would lose it when I take my first step on the battle ground. And to make it worse: I was getting feeling for Eugene. The way he held me close as we dance, how he looked at me and smiled, it made me wonder if he liked me too. But I was far too complicated, too brash like my brother, and too proud to find help with my own demons. So it made me wonder, was it right what I was doing?
Falling love with a combat medic?
I sat on my cot the day after the celebration and my birthday with Joe. In my hand was a letter from home, Joe got it and he gave it to me to read. I was writing home from time to time, letting them know what was going on and how it was going on my end of the training. But now I got a letter back and I was reading it with my eyes as I saw my mother's writing:
Joseph,
We are so proud of both you and your sister, you must know that first and foremost. I was saddened to know that my firstborns were going to be fighting in a war, and I pray every night for the both of you would be sparred. But I know you two will look out of each other.
We are thinking about you here in California. Your father misses you terribly, along with your brothers and sisters. It's been tough here, money wise, But we are getting by, day by day. We never needed much in our family, only each other and what we can use our hands and the gifts that were given to us.
I am worried about your sister, and I hope you are watching out for her while you are over there. We know that she is just as proud as you are when it comes to not showing her illness to the others around her, and I hope that she does let it ruin her. You know your sister, not wanting to show weakness. Just keep an eye on her, let her know that she is not alone in this battle that she is going through in her own body. I fear it would take us before we are ready to let her go.
Write to us soon, and let us know where you are going next.
I saw a drop of blood fall onto the letter from my own nose, though I closed my eyes and tried to hard not to cry there on the bed. My own mother thought I was going to die from my illness while I was away from her, she thought I was going to lose this battle because of the war. I knew this was coming, but to see it in her handwriting and how she was pleading Joe to protect me because of my pride getting in the way and not having me seek help. She was right: I had pride. I didn't want to be seen as weak. Nor did Joe, but mine was more poisonous. And there was the evidence, on the letter. One drop of blood and I knew:
One of these days I could die.
