Chapter 7

"You have arranged to go to the House to meet with Lady Mary on the one day when I don't have to be at the House? On the day you know I have been looking forward to spending with you?" she said in barely controlled fury, as her husband gulped.

"But Elsie ... she is going away until Sunday and so it was the first opportunity we had to meet," he explained, his brow crumpled.

"And what's wrong with Monday? Or Tuesday? Or Wednesday for heaven's sake!" she returned.

They were both standing two feet apart and Charles was not sure he had ever seen Elsie so angry.

"Lady Mary suggested Sunday and ... it will take an hour at most Elsie ... we can still enjoy the rest of the day together. I am looking forward to it too ... I just ... I thought it would be alright," he said weakly.

In truth, a few minutes after speaking to Lady Mary he had begun to worry that he'd done the wrong thing. However, he was glad to feel needed by Lady Mary and he had managed to convince himself that perhaps a short meeting would not interrupt their day too much.

"You thought wrong!" she pronounced, raising her hands in surrender and walking out of the sitting-room.

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Oh dear god, it sounds like there is a war going on in that kitchen. He stood anxiously in the hallway listening to Elsie seemingly throwing pots and pans around the room. There were loud bangs, crashes and grumbling sounds coming from the room. He knew she must be washing the dishes, a job he usually helped her with, and he was torn between going into the kitchen to help her and remaining in relative safety outside the room. He knew she was annoyed with him, and he understood he had disappointed her by disrupting their plans, but he couldn't help think she had over-reacted slightly; he would only be gone for an hour, he had no intention of being at the House for any longer than that. He had expected Elsie to realise this and calm down by now and yet she still seemed agitated.

He took a deep breath and stepped inside. As he did so she turned and gave him the most ferocious glare. He recognised that look; it had stopped many an arrogant footman or a spiteful maid in their tracks.

"Elsie, I am sorry that I have disturbed our plans for Sunday but I promise I will only be at the House for an hour and we can still have a lovely day, we'll have all morning together and then we can go to Ripon after I've met with Lady Mary ... we'll still have plenty of time for a walk and a nice meal," he said positively.

He knew better than anyone how kind and understanding his wife was and so he fully expected her to appreciate and accept this. He also knew that he rarely apologised and so he hoped his apology would show Elsie that he was genuinely remorseful. She hadn't shouted back at him and so he took this as a good sign. He smiled at his wife and stepped forward, a humble expression on his face as he opened his arms hoping to give her a loving hug.

"You really don't understand do you?" she said softly, a calmness in her voice.

The lightness of her tone surprised him, there wasn't even a hint of the anger from seconds ago; he felt bewildered as he gazed at his wife. She was calm and measured and yet there was none of her usual cheeriness. He paused his movements and returned his arms to his side. He felt more uneasy than if she had been shouting at him.

Elsie did not want them to be at odds; she really did not like them falling out any more than Charles did, although she could cope with it better. However, she needed him to know that she was hurt; hurt that he thought so little of their planned day together that he had made other arrangements. And more than that; hurt that, yet again, he had prioritised Lady Mary over her. Despite her alluding to his 'Blessed Lady Mary' in the past, she still felt he did not understand how upsetting this was for her. She could see he was baffled. She decided to say it plainly. He may think me petty, jealous even, but at least I'll have been honest about how I feel. Perhaps I have been too opaque in the past? She thought.

"It doesn't matter if you are meeting Lady Mary for an hour, for five hours or even for five minutes Charles. I am upset because once again you have chosen Lady Mary over me," she said truthfully, her voice clear, if a little fragile.

His mouth dropped open in alarm. Surely she didn't really think that?

"Elsie, no ... I would never ..." he began but stopped speaking; his wife had already left the room.

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He had never felt so wretched. She hadn't spoken to him since she had left the kitchen. She had gone straight to bed without a word. He wasn't even sure if he should follow her to bed; he had thought about sleeping on the couch so as not to impose. However, the very idea of not waking next to his wife had been unbearable. He could hardly breathe when he thought of how wounded she had looked. He had ascended the stairs with a heavy, guilt-ridden heart; the lights already turned down and Elsie with her back to his side of the bed as he entered the room. He wasn't sure if she was already sleeping, her eyes were certainly closed, and so as much as it pained him to go to bed in such distress, he had no choice. He lay awake for hours. He had never meant to choose Lady Mary over Elsie yet he realised that was exactly what he had done. He wasn't so guileless that he hadn't realised that in the past Elsie had been resentful of his devotion to Lady Mary. However, he'd thought this was because his wife didn't hold the Family in the same high regard as he did; he had never even considered that she thought he cared more for the Family, or rather Lady Mary, than her. Charles raised his hands to his mouth to muffle the sob that threatened at that realisation; the darkness enveloping him as he lay on his back in torment. This wonderful woman lying beside me is my life and yet I have made her feel second best. Tears trailed down his cheeks as he cried silently at that thought.

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Elsie lay awake in the early hours of the morning. She felt miserable; her only comfort being the soothing breaths of her husband as he slept beside her. She had felt him tossing and turning beside her for hours. She had not turned to him. She wasn't yet ready to discuss their disagreement. Yet her upset had certainly eased and in the cold depths of the twilight hours, Elsie began to worry that she had been too harsh, perhaps unfair. She knew how difficult the last few days had been for Charles and she knew that Lady Mary asking him for advice would have meant a lot to him. You've been trying to boost his confidence all week, to make him feel needed, and yet when something happened to make him feel more vital, more useful, you've stamped all over it, she worried. She also knew that on the days she worked at the House, he had to get by without her. Maybe therefore it is unreasonable for me to expect him to keep his Sunday free, just because it is my day off? Maybe I am being unfair? she fretted. Oh damn and blast, I've gone from fury to hurt to guilt now, she sighed tiredly. No-one ever said marriage was easy Elsie, she smiled wearily. And I do truly love this dear man. She reached out and took Charles's hand in hers; noting that it did not shake as he rested. He was still asleep but as she caressed his skin tenderly, she heard his breathing quieten further. She smiled, knowing that even in his sleep she could soothe him. Elsie eventually drifted back to sleep herself, holding her husband's hand.

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Before she even opened her eyes, she could feel the void beside her. Her eyes fluttered open hoping that she was wrong. However, his side of the bed was indeed empty. Well, almost empty. On the pillow beside her there was a piece of paper and a small bunch of purple Delphimiums; her favourite. Elsie smiled sweetly as she sat up a little straighter to read the note.

I love you Elsie. You will always come first. Forgive me and allow me to make it up to you. Your adoring yet infuriating husband Charles x

As Charles glimpsed through the gap in the door, his heart burst with happiness and relief to see the beautiful smile on his wife's lips.

A/N: I couldn't make up my mind up which way to go with this chapter- some of you wanted Elsie to tear a strip off Charles and others wanted her to be calm and silent. I was torn and so I just had to go with what I thought best. It ended up turning out much more melancholy that I had planned. I wouldn't want anyone to think that I always think Charles is in the wrong and Elsie is some sort of saint; like everyone they both make mistakes. However I do think Charles has somewhat of a blind spot when it comes to Lady Mary and I think he genuinely doesn't understand how he hurts Elsie sometimes; he gets things wrong without any malice at all. And Elsie often doesn't help the situation as she is too subtle in trying to bring him around rather than just telling him how she feels. Anyway, the next few chapters will be much happier I promise! Any reviews would be lovely! x