Chapter 7
Luke didn't go far when he left Andy's apartment. He made it as far as his car, parked out front, before the rational part of his brain reminded him that he couldn't just disappear for a day or two and hope that everything could go back to normal. Either Andy was cheating on him, or he was overreacting. There really wasn't a third option and he needed to consider both before he did anything to make matters even worse.
When his phone rang a few minutes later he knew without looking at the caller ID who it would be. Taking a deep breath he flipped it open, "Andy-"
"You read my mail?" She interrupted. Her voice was steady, but Luke could practically feel her anger radiating along the phone line.
Not that he blamed her.
He'd crossed a line. There was no denying that, or even justifying the invasion of privacy. Yet, Luke couldn't stop his mind from coming up with reasons why opening Andy's mail wasn't that different from opening a suspects mail or going through his things to see what he'd been up to. Actions he'd gotten away with, even been encouraged to use through his thirteen years as a member of the Toronto Police Department.
Of course, those suspects were not his girlfriend. And usually what they were trying to prove was murder.
He wasn't even sure why he'd done it. Reading your girlfriend's mail was something jealous, insecure high school boyfriends did. Luke was none of those things. Well, if he were perfectly honest with himself he was the jealous type. He knew there was something going on between Andy and Sam Swarek. What exactly it was, he hadn't a clue. He did know that Sam's story didn't match the guilt in Andy's eyes the night he'd found the post it in her freezer with the other man's name on it. He was also pretty sure Sam was interested in Andy. the only thing he couldn't figure out was how Andy felt about Swarek.
"It was stupid. I'm sorry." He said, wishing he could fall through the earth so he wouldn't have to continue this conversation. there was nothing he could think of that he wanted to do less than explain to Andy why he had violated her privacy and then walked out without giving her a chance to explain why some woman named Sarah was trying to fix her up with Sam Swarek.
There was an unbearable silence on the other end of the line before Andy finally spoke. "What are we doing, Luke?"
"You tell me Andy." Luke felt a sudden surge of annoyance. Yes, he'd crossed a line. But so had she. Lying to him about Swarek, keeping secrets for months on end. He let out a frustrated sigh. It had been weeks since Swarek had barged into his office and berated him for being an idiot. But he'd never been able to shake the feeling that something had happened that night. Something more than the kiss or the nothing Andy claimed, definitely more than the 'I tried, she shot me down,' Swarek had told him.
He should have said something earlier. They should have talked it out, even if he didn't want to hear what had happened, he was certain now that not knowing was infinitely worse. Not only was his brain playing the worse case scenarios on repeat every time he didn't know where Andy was, but he'd begun to think of her the way he thought of potential suspects in his cases; someone he needed to learn the truth about, no matter what.
"Nothing." There was a finality in her tone that he had never heard before. "We are doing nothing, Luke. It's over."
"Andy..." Luke tried his most calming voice. The one he used on frantic family members when he needed to interrogate them before they had even begun to grieve. Silence was all that came from the other end of the line, followed by the beep beep beep of a disconnected call. He resisted the urge to slam his head into the steering wheel of his car.
o o o
Andy stood in the middle of kitchen, phone dangling from nerveless fingers for several minutes. Her mind bounced between relief and panic. Thoughts chased each other around her brain, not standing still long enough for her to examine them.
She'd broken up with Luke.
Perfect Luke. The "right" guy. The guy who was too good for her, but somehow wanted her anyway.
He would call. It wasn't really over. It was just a fight. They'd fought before and he'd come back.
What if he came back? He didn't trust her. Never had. He'd been treating her like a suspect for months.
Yeah she'd screwed up. Once. But the truth of the matter was that if Luke didn't have a pathological need to involve himself in every potentially huge case that came near fifteen she would never even have gone to Sam. But Luke hadn't stayed. Hadn't put her first. Not ever. He'd believed her when she said she was fine. For someone so bad at deception she was very good at deceiving him. Probably because he didn't pay much attention.
Or because you are always lying to him
Well, there was that. The only thing she'd been fully honest with Luke about was her father - and even that she'd kept from him as long as she could.
Guilt washed over her. No wonder he treated her like a suspect. She was as guilty of deception as any suspect in interview.
She threw down the phone with a frustrated sigh. She needed a distraction, and a good stiff drink. Traci was with Leo, her dad had a meeting that night, Dove was working, Chris was off but he and Gail spent most of their off time together these days, which left her with... no one. For the first time since joining the academy Andy wished she'd kept in touch with the people she used to spend time with.
The cream coloured card on the counter seemed to call to her. She picked it up, rereading the brief note. She should probably say no. If she wanted to make it work with Luke she had to say no. And yet... She carried it with her, dangling from two fingers on her left hand as she went about making a drink, the only dinner she had any energy to prepare right then.
When she pulled the vodka bottle from the freezer the contents shifted and her eyes caught sight of the yellow post it she'd frozen months earlier. Sam Swarek. Acting on impulse she put down the vodka and pulled out the jar and set it on the counter. She propped up the invitation beside it and backed up until she was leaning against the other counter, bringing the bottle of vodka with her. She jumped up, so she was sitting on the counter. She didn't bother to pour the vodka, just drank it straight from the bottle, eyes fixed on the frozen jar and the card propped up beside it.
The two pieces of hard evidence of her betrayal. Funny that it still didn't really feel like betrayal.
o o o
After a delicious spaghetti dinner and birthday cupcakes for the kids, the family moved to the living room so Mitch could open the remote control car Sarah had bought with Sam's money and wrapped up in shiny blue paper.
The car was met with an exclamation of excitement from both kids and a quick hug for Sam before Mitch launched himself at his mother begging to be able to try it outside right that instant. Gently but firmly Sarah told her son he could play with the car in the kitchen that evening, but he would have to wait until the morning to play outside.
Sam's heart contracted painfully at the familiar hints of fear in Sarah's eyes at the thought of her ten year old son playing outside in the dusk. She was so much better than she'd been before the kids were born and sometimes he let himself forget the terrified shell of a woman she had been for more than a decade. It was moments like this when the fear reared its ugly head.
Ed squeezed his wife's hand before turning to his disappointed son. "How about you, Samantha and I see if we can find your old remote control truck and some batteries. Then in the morning you and Uncle Sam can race them at the park?"
Mitch's eyes lit up at the prospect of a morning alone with his uncle and soon he was dragging his dad towards the garage where some of the less used toys lived. Sarah smiled after them. The remote control truck Ed was talking about was five years old at least and mostly held together with duct tape after it had survived an unfortunate run in with the neighbour's riding mower. They'd taped the truck back together and Mitch had continued playing with it for the next several months before it eventually ended up with many of the other rarely touched toys, in a box in their garage.
"What time do you have to leave in the morning?" she asked, turning her attention to her brother.
"I'm back on shift Friday morning, so I thought I'd head back into the city around noon, avoid the worst of the traffic." He held her eyes with his, "Everything okay?"
Sarah nodded. She knew Sam worried about her, especially when she set down the law and prevented her children from doing something that the Swareks hadn't thought twice about when Sam and Sarah were growing up. She told herself that the world was a more dangerous place now than when they were kids, but she knew deep down that it was her own fears that were really to blame for the sometimes restrictive rules she set on her children's outdoor play time.
"You would tell me if it wasn't?" Sam's gaze was loving, but there was steel in his voice.
"Probably not," she admitted.
He laughed at that. "Well at least you're honest about that."
Sarah shifted a little in her seat, they didn't have long before Ed would return with the kids. "How's Andy? I keep hoping one of these days you'll bring her for a visit. I'm sure the kids would love her."
"Subtle, Sarah." Came Ed's amused voice from the doorway before Sam had a chance to deflect the question.
"Andy is fine," Sam said, smiling at Ed. "I'll tell her you say hi."
"You do that." There was something in her tone that set off Sam's internal lie detector, but before he could pursue it Mitch and Samantha were back, a package of batteries and the duct taped remote control monster truck with them.
The rest of Sam's visit passed playing with his niece and nephew. If he was avoiding being alone with his sister he would never admit it.
A/N: Thanks everyone who reviewed my last chapter for having faith in me and the direction I'm taking this. It's going to be a much heftier story than I thought when I started out, but I have completely fallen in love with Sarah Swarek so I'm not ready to tie this one up quite yet. :)
This took longer than expected. I actually had chapter 7 written when I posted 6, but then a writer friend of mine got me thinking and I ended up taking what I had and splitting it between chapters 7, 8 and 9... the good news is I have a solid chunk of the next two chapters already written! Life is looking a little hectic this week, but I'll definitely have something to post by the end of the weekend.
