TOW the Alternative Kips

A/N - Ok, so this is a little different from the others in the series...and I've no idea if it actually works. It's an attempt at an alternative version of TOW the Kips (aka TOW Joey finds out) and is set when they are both back from their weekend but before the scene where they make up.


"You alright, man?" Joey asked as he took in his glum roommate.

Other than discussing Donald Trump's elevator usage, his friend had barely spoken two words to him since he'd been back. He'd just sat in his Barcalounger staring at the television, but Joey would bet a year's worth of pizza that Chandler couldn't tell him anything about what he was supposedly 'watching'.

"I'm fine," came the standard reply.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," the blue eyes rolled back in obvious annoyance, "I had a lousy weekend and I just need to shake it off. Just ignore me."

"Ok, sure," Joey let his concerned gaze rest on the other man for just a moment longer; he knew it had to be something more than arguing with work colleagues. Chandler didn't give a rat's patootie about work people. Plus, there was that whole strange 'woofing' conversation he'd had with Monica out in the hall. They seemed mad at each other and it was unlike those two to fight...certainly not over money. Chandler was always lending him money, so would have no reason to steal it from her…it made no sense. He waited for another beat. "You sure?"

"Yes," he growled, suddenly standing up, "Ya know what? I'm gonna go grab a walk."

"A walk?" he asked surprised.

"Yep, I'll see you later."

With that Chandler marched out, the door closing firmly behind him. Something was definitely bothering him but if he refused to open up there was little Joey could do to help. He was pulled from his musings as the phone rang.

"Hello?" He answered, not recognizing the number or voice on the other end, "Chandler Bing? Yeah, that's my roommate, I'm afraid you've just missed him. Eyelash curler? Are you sure you have the right room? Ok, ok, yeah I'll let him know."

Joey's frown deepened, eyelash curlers? What kind of weekend had Chandler gone on?


When he'd returned Chandler had denied all knowledge of the eyelash curler and retreated to his room, locking himself away. Joey waited, giving him a few minutes before he approached the door. He was about to knock and ask if he wanted to talk when he heard Chandler's voice the other side of the door; he was clearly on the phone.

"Yes, I'm calling about the eyelash curler left in my room," Joey frowned, "look, I don't know much about them- are they good ones? Ok, yeah, um in that case can I pay to have them posted back to me? Ok, sure, oh can you change the address to apartment 20? Yeah, ok, thanks for your help."

Joey stepped away from the door walking over to the foosball table in case Chandler suddenly appeared. What was going on with him? Why was he paying to get them shipped to the girls' apartment if he didn't know anything about them?

"Hey."

Joey blinked, looking up at his roommate as he emerged from his bedroom, sweatpants evident.

"H-i, what's with the sweats?" he questioned.

Chandler just shrugged, "they're comfortable."

"Right," his frown deepened as Chandler made himself comfortable on the Barcalounger and started flicking through the channels. "Um, I was gonna head across the hall. Wanna come?"

"No, I'm good thanks."

"You're watching Mork and Mindy," Joey pointed out. "Come, see people. Maybe it will take your mind off the weekend from hell."

"Nah, I'll pass."

He didn't even take his eyes off the old 70's sitcom.

"Fine," Joey held up his hands, a little frustrated and extremely confused, "I'll see ya later."

"Later," Chandler still didn't turn his head as his friend left the apartment and slammed the door.


An hour or so later Joey was in the overstuffed chair in apartment 20; his mind was still on Chandler. He had been hoping that the other man would have got out of this funk he was in and have come over by now. No such luck. The door opened and he looked up expectantly, a little disappointed to see it was Phoebe.

"What's the matter with you? Not pleased to see me?" she teased, having noticed his look.

"I'm just a little worried about Chandler," he admitted to her, as Ross and Rachel curiously looked over to him.

"What's wrong with him?" Ross asked confused

"I'm not sure, he won't tell me," Joey shrugged.

"Give him time to brood," Phoebe reassured him, "he'll talk when he's ready."

"I guess," Joey shrugged, not totally convinced as Monica came out of the bathroom.

"Oooh Monica, how was your weekend?" Phoebe called, "I heard you saw Donald Trump."

Joey blinked, frowning as he looked over to her, watching as she dug into her cosmetics bag.

"Yeah," she didn't seem that excited, "I saw him waiting for an elevator." The cogs in Joey's brain started to slowly turn. "Hey Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler? I seem to have lost mine."

The cogs came to a sudden halt, his eyes as wide as saucers he turned his gaze to Monica. She hadn't noticed his reaction, she continued completely oblivious as she zipped up her washbag and sighed. Stunned, Joey let the pieces fall into place. Chandler and Monica. Two of his best friends had snuck away together for a weekend? But if they'd gone for a dirty weekend why were they both so miserable?

"You ok, Joey?" Rachel asked, forcing him back down to Earth.

"Yeah," he said quickly, shooting another look to Monica. Although she was trying to hide it she looked sad, upset...like Chandler. He needed to know what was going on. "I'm gonna go check on Chandler," he announced standing up.

"Is he ok?" Monica asked quietly, concern clear in her blue eyes.

"Yeah," he lied, "he's fine. I'll see you guys in a bit."

With that he left quickly, standing in the hallway for a moment catching his breath and organizing his thoughts. Chandler and Monica? Since when? And what had happened to ruin the weekend? He took a deep breath and pushed opened the door. Chandler hadn't moved and Joey approached him, standing in front of him to block the tv screen.

"Can I help you?" Chandler raised an eyebrow.

"You went away with Monica?"

Chandler's eyes widened and he hurried out of his chair, "what? Did she tell you that?"

"No, she didn't have to," he folded his arms, watching as his friend started to pace. It was definitely true. "She saw Donald Trump and has lost her eyelash curlers."

"Oh."

"And she looks as miserably as you do," Joey finished, studying him. "What happened? Are you two together?"

Chandler stopped pacing, closing his eyes and ducking his head. He brought his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he let out a heavy sigh. When he finally spoke he was quiet, his voice pained and tight, "we were together. We went away to have some romantic time together and I totally blew it. We had a huge fight and now she wants nothing to do with me. In one crappy weekend I managed to ruin not only the best relationship I'd ever been in but also screw up one of the best friendships I've ever had."

Joey swallowed, taken aback by the rawness coming through in Chandler's voice. He wasn't used to it. "Look, I'm sure if you talk to her-"

"She doesn't want to talk," he admitted, scrubbing a hand across his weary face. "I've screwed it up, badly. I've screwed up everything and-" he paused, swallowing and Joey was alarmed to see what looked like tears starting to form in his eyes. "Actually, I don't wanna talk about it anymore," Chandler stated, hastily heading for his room.

"Chandler?" Joey questioned in desperation, hating seeing his roommate like this.

"Just drop it," Chandler ordered quietly as he closed his door.

Joey took a couple of breaths and shook his head. What the hell was going on?


A couple of hours had passed and Chandler still hadn't materialized from his room. Joey just hoped that the other man had fallen asleep but didn't want to risk checking on him. He wasn't getting any answers here so he decided to head to apartment 20. It was late but not that late and besides, he wanted to check on Monica; she probably didn't have anyone she could talk about the break up with.

He entered the apartment to find it unusually quiet. "Hey," Monica greeted from the couch, quickly hiding something under a cushion; no one else was in sight.

"Hi," he offered, pretending not to have noticed her stashing and joined her on the couch. "Everyone gone home?"

"Yeah, Phoebe and Ross left a while ago and Rachel's in the shower."

"Oh," he nodded as he studied her critically. It looked like she had been crying and he winced, "are you ok?"

"Of course," she lied badly, swiping at her eyes, "why wouldn't I be?"

He swallowed, making his decision.

"Because Chandler's a wreck too," he said gently, waiting as her eyes narrowed.

"So…?"

"Look, I know about you two."

"He told you?"

"No," he shook his head, "I confronted him; when you and Phoebe were talking about your weekend, Chandler had told the same stories. By the way he's paying to have your eyelash curler posted back here."

"Oh," she offered him a small smile, "that's nice of him."

"What happened?" Joey asked, sensing Monica was going to be more forthcoming than Chandler. "Lately you've both been so…content and then you have a fight and you're both really miserable."

"We were happy, really happy," she admitted, "and we're going to be fine," she promised, not noticing his confused look, "it was just a stupid fight. I thought he would have come over by now but I guess he needs some more time."

"So you haven't broken up?" Joey asked confused, remembering Chandler's earlier words.

"What?" Monica looked surprised, "Broken up? No! It was just a fight, a stupid fight at that- it didn't mean anything…does...does he think we've broken up?"

Joey nodded, "yeah he thinks he's screwed up your relationship and friendship."

"I thought he was just being stubborn," she confessed, standing up. "I didn't think for a second that he thought we were over, god, I need to speak to him. Are you ok to give us some privacy?"

"Yeah, sure," he reassured her with a smile, "go look after him, I'll cover for you with Rachel."

She smiled back relieved, "thanks Joey, I owe you one."

"No problem," he grinned genuinely watching as she left. Who would have thought Monica and Chandler were a thing? He was just pleased they were still a thing, given how badly Chandler had been hurting earlier, it was obvious how much this relationship meant to him.

"Hey Joey," Rachel called as she crossed the room in her towel. His eyes automatically followed her until the doors closed and he smiled again happily.

He grabbed the remote and started surfing through the channels, leaving it on Die Hard. He felt he needed something manly after helping his friends' mushy romance. Then he remembered Monica shoving something under the cushion his butt was currently on. He stuck his hand under it and hit something, pulling it out he saw it was a strip of photos from a photo booth.

Joey chuckled as he took in each picture; Chandler was pulling a stupid face in each much to Monica's obvious annoyance. However, it was clear to see when she had given into his silliness, laughing and joining in with him. In the last photo they were happily kissing; they looked kinda cute together. He looked at the photos again, taking in how carefree and in love they appeared, yeah he had a feeling they were onto something special.

With a grin, he grabbed the photos and walked over to Monica's bedroom, hiding them under her pillow, figuring they were safer there than in the living room. Then he went and finished the rest of the movie.

When the hostages had been freed and the credits began to scroll, he decided to chance his own apartment. Before he left his turned out Monica's bedroom light, pulling the door closed so Rachel would think she was asleep. As he left he turned out the apartment light too just for cover.

Walking into his own bright apartment he was relieved to find the living room empty and Chandler's door firmly closed. He heard a squeak and a giggle and with a knowing smirk he headed for his own room, determined to locate those headphones he'd borrowed from Phoebe.


"Hey!"

Joey turned to greet his roommate the next morning, "Hi," he smiled, taking him in, "you certainly look a lot happier than you did yesterday," he commented as Chandler grabbed some OJ from the fridge.

"Yep," he grinned widely, his eyes shining, "I sure am and I believe a 'thank you' is in order," he slapped his shoulder. "Monica told me you talked with her - thank you, man."

He shrugged, "No worries, it's just nice to see you happier than yesterday."

"I am, very very happy," he smiled widely, "But seriously, man, thank you for talking to her and straightening everything out."

"It's ok. So, no one knows about you guys?"

"Just you and we wanna keep it that way, for now anyhow. You're ok with that right?" he looked a tad concerned.

"Sure," Joey agreed easily. He didn't really like secrets but it wasn't his to tell, "So when did this all start?"

"London," Chandler wiggled his eyebrows clearly pleased with himself.

"Nice," Joey nodded. "Is the sex good?"

"Out of this world," Chandler's smile widened, "but that stays between us. Don't be ogling her or anything."

"Ogling?" Joey laughed, "you're such a dweeb. How the hell did you end up with Monica?"

"I honestly don't know, but I'm not gonna question it," Chandler grinned, "she really is amazing though."

Chandler's grin was infectious and Joey found himself grinning back stupidly. Things rarely went well for his roommate, especially on the woman front, so Joey was really pleased for him. And for himself...hopefully this meant no more Janice. Ever.

Moments later the apartment door opened and Monica slipped in, her smile beaming as she looked at Chandler who returned it.

How had it not seen it before?

"Hey," Chandler greeted, walking over to her, his arms encircling her waist.

"Hey," she grinned back, her arms around his neck. Their embrace just looked so natural.

They stared at each other a few more seconds before closing the gap. Their lips coming together in a sensual good morning kiss. Joey pulled a face, looking away at the display of affection. Just because he knew about them didn't mean he wanted to see it.

Much to his dismay the kiss continued, getting more passionate so he stood up uncomfortably, "Yeah, I'm gonna leave now," he informed them but they weren't paying any attention to him.

He cringed screwing up a face as he heard one of them groan and quickened his pace - he didn't wanna get caught in the middle of that. He had to squeeze between them and the foosball table as they continued with their embrace completely oblivious to him and his desperate attempt at escape.

He made it to the door, opening it quickly. As he turned to close it he caught one last look at them. The make-out session had paused temporarily and they were making eyes at each other which even he could admit was a little adorable. He shook his head, grinning as he made his way to the girls' apartment.

He still couldn't quite believe it, that after all this time they had crossed that friendship line. But seeing them together, looking at each other like that, so smitten, it all just seemed so right. Joey could sense they were onto something good.

"Where's Chandler?" Rachel asked as he walked through the door alone.

"Oh, he woke up late," he lied quickly, relieved when the group merely nodded and continued their breakfast conversation.

He'd cover for them as much as they needed, he vowed, determined to help protect their budding relationship from the criticisms and scrutiny of their intense gang.

He just hoped he wouldn't find himself in too many compromising situations…

-And cut back to normal season 5-


A/N - Did it suck? Did it work on any level? I've never done an AU which didn't then change the course of the whole episode. Please let me know either way...

And also a massive thank you all for the reviews to the previous chapters. They are a great motivation when I'm feeling blah :o)