Chapter Seven
Everything hurt! The pain going through her head was unbearable and every muscle in her body ached. The light stung her eyes blinding her as she struggled to regain her vision. Turning her head to the side he finally came into focus "Mickey," she whispered removing her oxygen mask.
"Hey short stuff," he smiled gently "What have you been doing to yourself?" he sighed.
"If this is heaven I want a refund," she joked nervously.
Mickey lent in and stroked her hair "You stupid, stupid girl," his voice remained calm but she knew he was fuming "How could you be so selfish?"
"What happened? I don't remember," she lied.
"Someone saw you run out in front of the car Stevie," he sighed, "I know it wasn't an accident,"
"I'm sorry," her tears broke his heart.
"You scared me," he whispered his own tears falling "Have things gotten that bad?"
"I just want the pain to go away," she sobbed.
"Not much chance of that when you've been hit by a car,"
"I can't do this anymore, you don't know what it's like,"
"Then tell me," he pleaded "Tell me how you've gone from this bright, bubbly, spunky girl, to someone I don't even recognise anymore,"
Her sobs became uncontrollable and she began to struggle to breath. Thinking quickly Mickey grabbed her mask, placing it back around her face. "NURSE!" he yelled trying to grab someone's attention. Stevie's breathing began to ease and Mickey watched as the nurse calmed her down,"
Returning to normal "Mickey sat down on the edge of the bed "This can't carry on,"
She nodded silently.
"Talk to me please, what happened today to make you want to that,"
"He rejected me," she whispered "I tried to kiss him and he pulled away,"
"Who?"
"Smithy," she confirmed his suspicions "I felt so stupid and ugly and I don't want to feel stupid and ugly no more,"
"So your only solution to this was to try and kill yourself," he stated astonished.
"You don't understand, I can't feel like this anymore. It's killing me,"
Rubbing his eyes, he could believe what he was hearing. How on earth had it gotten to this point? How had he not seen it? The guilt he felt for not being there for his friend was immense.
"Please don't tell anyone," she begged.
"Stevie they know you're in here,"
"Who?" her voice was panicked.
"Jack, Neil…Smithy," he let that one hang in the air.
"Oh god," she cried "He can't know what I've done,"
Mickey shook his head "He doesn't, all he knows is you've been in a accident,"
"Please Mickey," she begged, "Please don't tell him. I'll do anything… I'll get help…I'll see someone, speak about how I'm feeling,"
She heard Smithy outside talking to the nurse asking where she was. Panicking Mickey saw the desperation in her eyes "Alright," he sighed "I'll keep quiet, but you better mean it about getting help,"
"I do," she nodded.
The door opened and he quietly slipped into the room. She smiled up at him nervously "Hey,"
"Hey yourself," he smiled back "How you feeling?"
"Like I've been hit by car," she joked.
She could tell he was feeling as awkward as she was. That's why she had tried to lighten the mood but failed.
"What's the doctor said," he asked.
"That she's been very lucky," Mickey piped up "She has a broken leg, a sprained wrist and fractured ribs. They took her into surgery because she had internal bleeding, but thankfully they've managed to stop it,"
"Have they said how long she'll be in her?" Smithy asked
"They reckon a couple of days, they're going to monitor her and if she's ok they will let her out,"
"I am here you know," Stevie pointed out annoyed "Please don't talk about me like I'm not here,"
"You very nearly weren't," Mickey answered "Next time look before you walk out in front of a car," he gave her a pointed look, so she decided to pipe down.
"Can you give us a minute Mickey?" Smithy asked. Mickey looked from him to Stevie and noticed the pleading look in her eyes. She didn't want to be left on her own with him.
"Sure,"
Watching him leave the room Stevie cursed, she was sure he had done that on purpose to punish her. Beyond awkward was how she felt right now; the silence seemed to go on forever.
"Stevie..." he didn't know how to find the right words.
"It's ok," she held her hand up to silence him, "You don't have to say anything,"
"No I do," he explained "I'm sorry if I hurt you,"
"It was just a stupid kiss," Stevie masked her feelings "I just needed someone…"
She saw the relief wash over his face and it took everything inside her not to break down in front of him. But she would not let him see her cry; she mustered as much strength as she could to stay calm.
"Look Smithy I'm really tired," It wasn't really a lie; being knocked over by a car can really take it out of you.
Smithy knew this was his queue to leave "I'll come by tomorrow and see how your doing," he smiled.
She watched him leave and Mickey headed back into the room "You ok?" Mickey knew she wasn't really but he didn't know what else to say.
She shook her head miserably "No," she sighed. Moving back over to the bed Mickey sat down next to her and draped his arm around her. "He doesn't deserve you," The tears started to fall again and he lent in and kissed her head.
"How can I go back to work and face him every day?"
"It'll get easier," he reassured "And you don't have to face him alone, you have me,"
She smiled "Thanks Mickey,"
"And I'll be with you when you face Jack and Neil too,"
Stevie sighed, "Do I really have to tell them what I did,"
He nodded "Afraid so. But it'll be ok I promise," She nodded knowing he was right, it was just admitting she had a problem going to be one of the hardest things she'd ever done.
