"The less I give, the more I get back."

-Civil Wars

Toby's POV

I went home, my heart was aching. I hated seeing her so upset-especially at me. I wanted so badly to give in and tell her I wanted us to get back together. I couldn't give into her though- she can't have that power over me again. When we were together I worried about her every second of everyday, and I didn't want that stress again.

There's no doubt that she was the best thing that ever happened to me. She could make me laugh harder than anybody I ever met. She was beautiful, intelligent, and kind. I loved hanging out with her, and kissing her- I even liked fighting with her sometimes. She's the only person who's ever made me feel loved.

She was also the only person that ever made me feel depressed. I felt like I could be so angry at her sometimes- and I'm not easily angered. She made me worry, and have anxiety about her. She was impulsive and stubborn- which caused us a lot of fights.

Sometime's the bad outweighs the good. I have to let her go, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Yet here I am- Thinking about her.

I sat down on my bed, grabbing fist full's of hair, and closing my eyes. "Stop," I told myself. "She's not yours to worry about anymore,"I said to myself. I fought with my own brain to distract myself. But everything I thought about always found its way back to Spencer.

I stood up frustrated, walking into my kitchen. I opened up my fridge grabbing a beer. I looked at it debating. I put the beer back in the fridge, and reached for something stronger in my cupboard. I drank the whiskey straight from the bottle, feeling the burn run down my throat. "Stop," I repeated. "Get out of my head Spencer. Please."

Line Break

I woke up with a wicked hangover. I must have fallen asleep on my couch. The bottle of whiskey was open, on the floor. The TV was on, and I was still in my uniform. I immediately turned off the TV and looked for some pain reliever.

I looked at my phone, seeing I had a missed call from Emily. I called her putting her on speaker as I changed into fresh clothes.

"Hey," she answered.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Have you talked to Spencer at all?" She asked.

"Not since yesterday," I thought. "Why?"

"She was supposed to come over last night, and she never showed up," Emily sounded nervous. "I tried calling her and her phone is off. Maybe I'm just paranoid. But it's not like Spencer to not call or text or somehow get a hold of me. Do you think maybe she just forgot? Maybe she just wanted to be alone. What if someone like- I don't know… Do you think someone kidnapped her? What-"

"Emily," I stopped her. "I'm sure she's fine. Have you tried going to her apartment?"

"No," she admitted. "Well, I drove by and I didn't see her car, so I figured maybe she was with you."

"She isn't," I muttered. "Have you tried calling her parents."

"Yes, they haven't heard form her since Friday," she started to panic.

"Em, she's fine I'm sure," even though I was starting to feel a little nervous myself. "Go to her apartment again and try getting buzzed in."

"I can't I have a meet I need to be at," she sounded frazzled.

"What about Hanna or Aria?" I asked annoyed.

"Hanna works weekends, and Aria is out of town with Ezra," she sounded annoyed- like she already tried calling them.

"Ok, ok, I'll go," I rolled my eyes. "What's her address?"

Line Break

After I tried and tried to buzz Spencer's room, there was nothing. Luckily I caught a young woman coming out, so I caught the door just in time. I took the stairs up to the fourth floor and found her door. I knocked several times, and waited.

I was starting to panic. If she wasn't with her parents or her friends, where was she? I finally turned the knob, surprised that it wasn't locked.

I walked past the kitchen and living room. I wasn't surprised that it was literally perfect, not a book out of place. I slowly opened the door, to what I guessed was her bedroom.

I sighed when I saw her still asleep, her arm was rested over her face, shielding her eyes. I was about to leave when I noticed something unusual. I slowly walked over to her bed, trying to get a better look. I noticed, two big scares right above her hips.

Suddenly she rolled over and her eyes opened slowly and she jumped up out of bed. "What the fuck!" she threw a pillow at me. "Toby! What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry," I put my hands up in defense. "Emily wanted me to come check up on you. She said you were supposed to come over and you weren't answering your phone. I got nervous when you didn't answer when I tried buzzing you. So I just walked in, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

She finally was able to breath, "You scared the shit out of me," she clutched at her chest.

"I know," I sighed. "I'm really sorry."

She still looked scared, like she was on the verge of having a panic attack. "Are you ok?" I reached out.

"Yeah," she stepped back.

"What is that?" I stepped closer, reaching out towards her. I lifted up her shirt to reveal her scares.

"Nothing," she pulled her shirt down.

"Spencer," I warned her.

"It's just nothing," she sat down on her bed, annoyed. "It was stupid really."

"Then why can't you tell me?" I clenched my jaw.

"I fell," she lied.

"Cut the crap," I rolled my eyes. "what happened?"

"Why do you care?" she walked past me, to the kitchen.

"Because I'm a police officer," I followed her. "And if you are harming yourself, you need hel-"

"I'm not," she opened her fridge, grabbing some orange juice.

"Then what happened?" I followed her as she grabbed a glass.

"Just let it go," she sounded frustrated.

I grabbed her waist, spinning her around. She was stunned to see me so aggressive. But she pissed me off when she didn't tell me things. I lifted her onto the counter, yanking her shirt up so I could get a better look.

"Toby!" She scolded me. "What-stop!"

"Stop fighting me, Spencer," I looked up at her very seriously.

I looked back down and examined her wounds. "These are deep," I grazed my fingers over them. They looked to be about six inches long, and deep. "Did you do this?" I looked at her angrily.

"No," she clenched her jaw. "I told you."

"Who did this to you?" I was nearly shaking. "When did this happen?"

She pushed my hands away and jumped off the counter. "Just let it go," she tried laughing it off, but I could hear the pain in her voice.

"Who?" I asked again.

"It doesn't matter," she took a sip of her juice.

"What the fuck! Someone did this to you?" I yelled. "Who?! Tell me now Spencer!"

"No," she looked away.

"Spencer!" I shouted. "Why won't you tell me?"

"Because," she started walking back to her bedroom.

"Because why?" I followed her.

She stopped dead in the hallway. She didn't look at me as she said it, making it so much harder to hear. "Because then I would have to tell you how they did it."

A/N: Thoughts?