How to find loopholes and ace tests! (title by Sakura)
"Do not touch your tests."
Hands froze.
"There are rules that you must follow in this first examination. Questions are not allowed."
Questions aren't allowed? Doesn't that mean we can interpret the rules as we wish? No, that's not the point… they want us to understand what they want us to do, the point of the test.
Sakura smiled, slow and lazy, triumphant.
This is a test that Naruto should be able to solve.
"The first rule: all competitors start with ten points."
As he spoke, the words appeared on the blackboard behind him.
"The test contains ten questions and is graded with a subtraction system. For every question that you miss or answer incorrectly, you will lose a point."
You start with ten points. You don't gain points, you simply keep them – does that mean there are other ways to lose points?
"The second rule is this: the final grade will be a collective score of your team. It is an assessment of how many of the initial thirty points you can retain."
Sakura glanced behind her at Naruto, four rows and to the right of her position, and at Sasuke, two rows in front of her. They were in agreement then – this was a team test, as Kakashi's bell test had been.
"Anyone caught cheating by the proctors during the exam will have two points subtracted for every offense. This is the third rule."
The proctors dispersed to their places on the four walls of the room. A hint of paperthin killing intent seeped out of the grey ranks, dragging the attention of the genin to them. The promise went unsaid: they would be watching.
He didn't say that cheating wasn't allowed… A quick glance at Naruto and a nod. Only two points means that one could potentially cheat four times before failing.
"Understand that anyone pathetic enough to be caught cheating will be destroying themselves. As competitors trying to achieve the rank of chuunin, you must become excellent shinobi."
His disdainful gaze around the room made clear that he doubted anyone to meet his standards.
"There is a final rule. Once any participant's point count reaches zero, they and their team will be failed, effective immediately."
There was a burst of disbelief and outrage – many of the genin shooting murderous or frightened looks at their teammates.
Team Seven did not move. Kakashi's test had been a thousand times more insidious. At least Morino Ibiki was straightforward. They knew what they had to do – there was a high chance that the paper test would be too hard for them to solve or completely absurd, so they would have to cheat…
"You have one hour. Begin."
The rustling of numerous papers filled the room.
Sakura stared at the test, surprised that she could actually begin to solve the problems, that she recognized most of the concepts, that it was actually intelligible. What were they trying to say? If you have enough smarts, you wouldn't have to cheat? But that was blatantly untrue.
(And she knew that she could only begin to solve most of these problems because of how much she had read – she'd devoured almost half of Konoha's public library and gone to both the Academy and civilian night school when her parents had held out hope that she might become a merchant.)
No. That's not it! The information gathering must also be a test of evaluation and perception – competitors must choose who to target and must choose well, otherwise they run the risk of getting all the answers wrong… and the ones who can answer the test on their own must protect their answers from being stolen!
Sakura could feel a headache coming on.
I can't act as if I know all the answers, cause then I'll become a target – so how can I solve this?
I don't know any genjutsu that affects area only, so I can't trap my own paper. I could write out the answer in a variation of the Konoha cipher, but would they accept that as an answer?
I could try to work out the answers in my head and then write it down at the last moment… that might be the safest option. I'll have to time this very carefully.
And what's with the tenth question? Forty-five minutes… will it really take that long to answer? I can't take that chance. I'll start answering questions after thirty minutes – that should give me enough time…
In the meantime, let's screw with the contestant's answers!
Sakura read through the questions carefully.
Inner, can you start on three, six, and seven? They seem like the most difficult questions…
'Sure.'
Good.
She turned over her paper and began to scribble furiously.
*I*I*
Sasuke looked at the answers and felt a wave of annoyance and consternation.
Tch. I can't answer any of these.
He activated the Sharingan and discretely scanned the rows above for a likely candidate to use as a target.
Too bad Sakura was behind him. He was pretty sure that she would be able to solve the questions. (After all, in the Academy, she had never missed a single question in all the six years of tests – a ridiculously hard feat; the Academy teachers routinely put impossible questions for genin on the tests that utilised knowledge that they wouldn't have covered in class. Even Sasuke had been impressed by the former fangirl, as much as he had hated her attention on him at the time.)
*I*I*
Naruto sat back in his chair, hands interlaced behind his head.
From what he could see, Sakura hadn't even started answering the questions; she had actually flipped over the test paper to the blank back and was currently solving it.
He was going to have to wait.
(His plan wasn't particularly subtle or impressive, but Akari-sensei had told him to only take as true the exact words. His examination of the legal papers to become a ward had given him plenty of practice with the concept – so when the rule was that he lost two points per every attempt caught, it meant he didn't have to be particularly subtle, as long as he only had one attempt at cheating. It might be counted as two actually…)
(After all, the first disqualification came after the contestant had tried to cheat five times. So the proctors were keeping count.)
*I*I*
As soon as thirty minutes had passed the two members of Team Seven who didn't have a Sharingan exploded into a flurry of action.
Sakura turned to the front of the test paper and sped through the answers, finishing within ten minutes. As soon as she put her pencil down, Naruto immediately formed the handseals for the Replacement Jutsu, snatching his test paper and switching with Sakura, henging in the process. (He had practiced the Harem-no-Jutsu so many times he could do the Henge without handsigns and with barely a thought.)
(Sakura had a moment to realize that Naruto's chakra was latching onto her before she blitzed through the signs for Henge, and changed into a passable imitation of Naruto (actually, it was almost perfect, but Sakura was being hard on herself). She slammed into Naruto's seat in a barely discernible puff of air.)
Naruto flung his test paper on the desk (silently flung, that is) and picked up the pencil, his scrawling handwriting filling the page as he copied Sakura's answers. Twenty-three seconds before forty-five minutes hit, he finished the second Replacement and switched with Sakura, both undoing the Henges.
((The proctor for Naruto was highly amused, and as it was a perfectly executed plan, he only marked down one attempt at cheating. The proctor for Haruno Sakura could tell that the Replacement Jutsu had been used, but he could not tell the difference between Naruto's solid henge and Sakura and so did not even mark down one attempt at cheating.))
Sasuke rolled his eyes at his teammate's antics.
*I*I*
The second hand reached the top.
"We will begin the tenth question now."
His voice was softer than the minute movements of the competitors, and yet the room immediately became eerily quiet.
"Before I disclose the tenth question, there are a few additional rules that are specific to this question."
It was then that the door opened, and the Suna-genin with the purple face tattoos stepped in followed by a proctor.
"Was your doll-play productive?"
The genin froze.
"Sit down."
He hurried to his seat.
"Allow me to explain the rules of desperation."
*I*I*
The Jonin Lounge always contained a relaxed atmosphere, and the first day of the Chuunin Exam was no different. A section of the room had been claimed by the jonin-senseis of the rookies, who sprawled on the bench, cups of sake next to them. Asuma was smoking a cigarette, and Kurenai was on the edge of her seat, as if she could bolt at any minute to the aid of her genin.
"Maa, it's rather boring without my cute genin…"
"I wouldn't worry about boredom," Asuma smirked. "I heard the first examiner's Morino Ibiki."
Kakashi groaned, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling.
"Not that sadist."
"…wait! That Morino Ibiki? The Head of T&I?!" Kakashi truly thought Kurenai was going to shunshin out then; she looked almost frantic.
"Yep."
"Isn't that a bit extreme?"
"It's good security, that's what it is – not only will his department sniff out any potential threats, but he'll also hopefully scare the foreign genin." Asuma exhaled a grey, heavy smoke which sank to the ground.
Kurenai looked as if she'd like to object to that line of reasoning, but held her peace.
"Maa~ I believe in my genin – Akari's taken an interest in them…"
"…wait. Akari?! I thought that she'd died!"
Kakashi raised an eyebrow.
"Well, the Third never complains about her anymore, and you clearly didn't have any close emotional attachments anymore, so I thought…"
Kakashi sighed. "Asuma, just because you were out of the village for a few years doesn't excuse you from making blatantly wrong assumptions."
"Who's Akari?"
"Aah. That would be my sister."
"You have a sister?"
"She's not a shinobi."
"Oh."
Kakashi rolled his neck, cracking several joints in the process.
"Anyhow, the fact that you haven't heard about her, Asuma, probably doesn't mean anything good. It means she's up to something."
Asuma looked faintly apprehensive, while Kurenai only had a look of open curiosity on her face.
"What can a civilian do in Konoha?"
Asuma shuddered slightly.
"You don't want to know…"
*I*I*
Rules of desperation?
"For the final question you must decide whether you wish to take it–"
"–decide?! What if we choose not to take it?"
The sandy blonde immediately looked cowed as the killing intent increased minutely.
Morino Ibiki merely continued as if she had not interrupted.
"–if you decide not to answer the tenth question, your points will be set to zero, and you and your teammates will instantly fail."
Some of the other genin looked indignant and about to voice an outburst, but the steadily increasing killing intent shut them up.
"If you choose to take the risk, receive the tenth question, and answer incorrectly, that individual will lose the right to ever take part in the Chuunin Exams ever again."
Sakura, breathing shallowly due to the intensity of the killing intent pouring off of the proctors, suddenly realized that the whole format of the test was designed to create an environment of desperation. The other competitors were surely feeling the pressure even now, making it hard to think, to be logical.
It was Kiba who asked the most commonsensical question:
"What kind of stupid rule is that?! There are guys here who have taken the exams before!"
And that, Sakura realized, made the whole question null and void. Because no matter who the person in front of them was, he couldn't be influential enough to make all the other countries agree to those terms.
It was then that Morino Ibiki began to smile that odd, deranged smile.
"Who said that those who failed would be physically able to take the Exams again?"
And Sakura felt a curl of horror deep within her.
"I'm giving you a way out; you can choose simply to not take it. Be grateful that I am obligated to do even that."
And thus begins the pandemonium of fear.
"I… I quit!"
"Me too!"
"I'm sorry, Gennai, Inoho… I quit!"
And thus begins a wave of cowardice.
*I*I*
"Ibiki and Akari are too much alike, in all the worst ways. They both know the human mind completely; it's what makes them terrifying. By attacking the mind, one can gain control over the spirit, and both the Head of T&I and the Head of the Hatake Clan are too liberal with their knowledge for any of us who know them to sleep quite comfortably."
Kakashi closed his eyes. Yep. That was Akari in a nutshell.
"Once someone gains control of the spirit, all weakness float to the surface and can be exploited by the controller. Which gives them an absurd amount of power."
Asuma ground out his cigarette, his eyes serious instead of their usual detached look.
Kurenai gulped.
*I*I*
Team Seven glanced at each other.
This is a team test, and therefore we must all be of one mind.
Slight nods.
Come torture or the most strenuous of tasks, they would take the test and succeed.
"You… pass!"
Okay, now they felt cheated. What was it with shinobi and their trolling?
(The horrifying thought: were Morino Ibiki and Kakashi-sensei in kahoots?!)
Team Seven didn't really pay much attention to the rest of Morino-san's spiel (except for when he uncovered his head – there was a flash of resolve and horror) too caught up in the terrifying concept of Sensei multiplying.
A/N: I will be going on hiatus for the next month in order to plan out the rest of the Chuunin Exams and further. I do have a short involving Sakura's test paper, Ino, and our favorite Head Interrogator, so if you want that to be in the next chapter, please review and tell me.
