Patience
Part 1:
Toph closed her eyes, ignoring the stab of pain in her chest. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right, but it was reality.
Sokka was smiling, his expression filled with love as he stared at Suki. "So, that's a yes?" He questioned, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.
Suki was quiet for a moment before she squealed, wrapping her arms around Sokka's neck before he lifted her off her feet and spun her around.
Toph opened her eyes and forced a smile for the newly-engaged couple. "I wish you all the best." She said, her voice strained with emotion. Ten years of loving Sokka, all for nothing.
She allowed them to pull her into an embrace before making an excuse to leave. Toph wound her way through the streets of Republic City, her eyes filled with tears.
She reached her small apartment and let herself in, her heart heavy. She picked up the closest object to her, a small vase that had come with the apartment, and launched it at the wall.
She listened for the satisfying shatter of the glass, then allowed herself to cry. She fell to her knees sobbing, her heart aching for the man she'd always loved.
Why couldn't he have seen her? Why couldn't he have loved her?
Toph threw herself into work, training Earth Benders with a relentless hand, barking orders and making her students practice until they could barely lift their arms.
Toph could not rest, no matter how hard she trained. Her nights were spent with endless tossing, sleep eluding her in favor of someone with less haunted thoughts.
Katara stopped by a few times, but eventually took cover from Toph's verbal assault.
Aang confronted her about her attitude, telling her that her students were concerned and about ready to quit. Toph shot back that if they wanted to be as strong as she was, they would get over it.
Sokka and Suki were busy with wedding preparations, so she didn't have to pretend that she was happy for them.
Toph had lost all semblances of kindness, slipping further away from those who cared about her. She didn't want to be cruel, but she couldn't handle Katara's pitying gazes, Aang's gentle words.
She wanted to be hurt, wanted to be angry that she was hurt, wanted to be left alone if she couldn't be with the one person she had thought she could spend her life with.
But the universe had other plans for her.
Sokka stopped by a few weeks after he had proposed to Suki right in front of Toph, because of course he would.
"Hey," He said, letting himself in without knocking, failing to notice the dark mood surrounding Toph.
Toph was sitting on the couch, her feet tucked underneath her, a bowl of noodles in her lap. "Hi," She mumbled, ignoring the lump in her throat.
"Can I sit?" He asked, gesturing to the empty space beside her. Toph had a radio playing, soft music floating around the room.
Toph shrugged and slurped up a noodle. "Free country," She replied, her mouth full.
Sokka frowned but took the seat beside her, turning to face her, his arms crossed over his chest.
"So...Katara and Aang are worried about you. They said something about you being upset." Sokka began, hoping Toph would confide in him like she usually did. At Toph's silence, Sokka pressed on. "Toph, what's going on with you?" He asked, deciding to get straight to the point.
"Nothing. I just got tired of being what everyone wanted me to be. I'm not some sweet little girl." Toph informed him, taking another mouthful of noodles.
"Toph, you aren't a bad person, but no one would call you sweet." He joked, hoping to tease a smile from the small woman.
Toph's shoulders stiffened, and she drew herself up, glaring at him. "Screw you Sokka." She snapped. "Sorry I can't be as wonderful as Suki." She spat the words at him, satisfaction rolling through her when Sokka flinched.
"That's not what I meant," He said, raising his hands in a placating manner. "Don't be like that. And Suki has nothing to do with this."
Toph snorted and set her chopsticks into her empty bowl. "Oh please, Suki has everything to do with this." Toph replied thoughtlessly, frowning once the words were hanging in the air, wishing she could snatch them back and tuck them back somewhere deep inside of herself.
Sokka's forehead creased as he stared at Toph in confusion. "What do you mean? What did Suki do?" He asked, worried that they'd had a fight.
Toph laughed mirthlessly. "Suki didn't do anything." She said. Except win your heart she thought.
Sokka sighed and rubbed a hand over the stubble on his chin. "Toph...aren't you happy for me?"
Toph drew in a deep breath, prepared herself to lie to him, then exhaled before throwing her bowl against the wall with a grunt. "Nope, not in the least." She told him earnestly as porcelain rained down around them.
Sokka jumped at her actions, startled, and glared at her. "Well thanks for nothing," He snapped, standing and moving towards the door. "After ten years of being my friend, you could at least be happy that I found someone to spend my life with." He slammed the door behind him, leaving Toph alone.
Just like she'd wanted.
Except Toph had never wanted to be alone. She just wanted to be with Sokka.
Part 2:
Toph knocked on the door before the last of her courage fled her.
Suki opened the door and stared at the smaller woman in surprise for a moment before smiling cautiously. "Hi, it's been a while." She said, her eyes roving over Toph's small frame.
Toph was decked out in her Chief of Police uniform, her bangs tucked behind her ears for once.
"I was hoping that I could speak with Sokka...if he's home...and not busy." Toph said, scuffing a shoe on the floor in embarassment.
Suki nodded and opened the door wider, gesturing Toph inside. "Sokka," She called. "Company." Suki smiled at Toph and headed down the hall, leaving Toph to stand awkwardly in the foyer.
Sokka emerged from the opposite end of the house, a shocked look on his face that quickly turned to annoyance.
"I know you probably hate me by now, but I just wanted to say...well...I do want you to be happy." Toph blurted, hugging her arms around herself. "I said some stupid things, to you, to Katara, to Aang. I wasn't...I wasn't a good friend and I'm sorry." She said, the words slower as she kept her head ducked down, her heart pounding in her ears.
Sokka moved forward and pulled her into a hug. "You're always my friend, even when we don't talk for a year." Sokka said, forgiving her easily.
Toph smiled up at him, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. She sniffled and punched his shoulder lightly.
"So, I heard the wedding gown was beautiful," She began, trying to atone for her absence. "You and Suki got any kids in the works yet?" She teased, half-praying he would say no. She wanted to try to be supportive no matter how much it hurt her, because Sokka being completely out of her life hurt so much worse.
Sokka laughed, though the sound seemed forced. "Nah, you?" He quipped.
"Actually," Toph began, a blush rising on her pale cheeks.
Sokka's mouth dropped open as he stared at her incredulously. "You're joking, right?" He asked, clasping her shoulders loosely in his large hands.
Toph bit her bottom lip and shook her head slowly. "Surprise?" She said questioningly.
Sokka forced his mouth closed when he saw the pain and uncertainty written all over her face. He closed his eyes and mustered a smile. "You're going to do great." He assured her, pulling her into a hug.
Suki came back out into the living room and smiled at the two. "I told you everything would work out," She told Sokka, ignoring the pleading look he was giving her. "And you were worried when we called off the wedding." She teased.
Toph pulled back to stare at Sokka, who was gesturing wildly at Suki. He slapped his forehead when Toph scrunched her nose up in confusion.
"You two didn't get married?" She demanded, trying to remember if anyone had told her that. It wasn't likely that Toph would have forgotten such great—in her opinion—news.
Suki's smile slipped and she coughed, embarrassed. "Er...well, no. Uh, we decided that we were rushing things. We've stayed friends though." She confessed.
Toph shook her head slowly, trying to reconcile this new knowledge with the fact that she had avoided Sokka for a year to try to come to terms with his marriage so she could be happy for him with no strings attached.
"Sokka, I um, I need to think. I just..." Toph trailed off, turning and slipping out into the sun, her emotions swirling.
Sokka watched her leave with sadness in his eyes. "Think it'll take her another year to talk to me?" He asked Suki rhetorically.
Suki rolled her eyes and gave him a nudge. "Not if you go after her dummy!"
Sokka followed the path Toph had taken and caught up with her just before she reached town.
"Hey," He said, pulling on her sleeve to stop before he bent over to catch his breath. "Sheesh, do you ever walk anywhere slowly?"
Toph arched an eyebrow as she waited for him to straighten, a hand on her cocked hip.
When he finally did, she sighed. "Sokka, I just...why didn't you tell me?" She asked.
Sokka frowned. "Why did you leave in the first place?" He countered.
"I needed space." Toph stated.
"A year?" Sokka fired back, mimicking her stance, his hip jutting out further than Toph could pose while maintaining her pride.
Toph groaned and rubbed the heels of her hands against her eyes. "Spirits, yes. Okay? I wasn't strong enough to be the friend you needed. I had to stop being so in love with you so that I could be your friend objectively." Toph clarified.
Sokka's mouth dropped open again. "Love?" He asked, his voice unnaturally high.
Toph snorted. "You honestly had no clue? Seriously? Everyone knew it."
Sokka held up a finger for her to be silent while he took in her words. "How long?" He finally asked, his hands toying with the hem of his tunic.
Toph sighed and bit her bottom lip. "Well...I crushed on you from the moment we met, and then...I don't know when it grew to be more than a crush, I can't pinpoint it."
Sokka opened his mouth yet again, wanting to question if she still had feelings for him, but pressed his lips together. "You won't stay away for a year this time?" He asked instead.
Toph managed a smile and shook her head. "No, I hated the time I spent away from you. Katara would always give me crap when I would ask about you. I can't believe she didn't tell me you and Suki broke off the engagement." Toph mused.
"And our relationship." Sokka reminded her.
Toph frowned and nodded. "That too."
Sokka gripped Aang's arm, feeling faint.
"Sokka, give her a hand!" Katara barked at him, barely giving him a second glance.
Aang grinned at Sokka encouragingly and watched the older man make his way to Toph's side, offering her a hand.
Toph gripped it with a strength that Sokka had forgotten she'd possessed, squeezing his fingers until they were purple.
"Never again!" She screamed, her face red with exertion, a vein pulsing visibly on her forehead.
Sokka wasn't sure what to say, so he chose to be silent.
The sound of a small cry took their attention and Toph fell back against the bed. Aang dabbed at her forehead with a cool cloth while Katara cleaned up her daughter.
She placed the tiny girl in Toph's arms, and tears rolled down Toph's cheeks.
"She's beautiful." Sokka whispered, staring at the baby in wonder. He had seen Katara's children shortly after their birth, but this was the first birth he'd been present for the entirety of.
"Her eyes?" Toph asked, a hint of fear in her voice.
"Pale green like yours, but clear." Katara informed her, watching her brother reach out a hand to stroke the forehead of the baby clasped in Toph's arms.
"Lin." She cooed, bending to kiss the baby's forehead.
Sokka sat in Toph's kitchen with Lin on his knee, his leg bouncing her up and down while she giggled happily.
Toph rushed around the kitchen, tugging on her dress while she talked to herself in quiet tones.
"Calm down Toph, it's just a date." Sokka reminded her, trying to keep the edge out of his voice. Lin stared up at him with a wonderment that only a five year old could master.
Toph shot Sokka a glare before grabbing her purse from the kitchen table. She bent down to kiss Lin.
"I love you sweet girl, I'll be home soon." She promised. Toph straightened and smiled at Sokka. "Thank you for watching her. I know you don't really agree with me dating, but I need to get out, do something." She said, her face clouding as she scratched at the back of her neck. "I've never been on a date. That's just sad." She clarified.
Sokka frowned at her, guilt rising in his stomach.
"Have fun." He said at last, keeping his innermost thoughts to himself. It wasn't the right time. He would wait until Toph had finished with her lame date to tell her that he wanted she and Lin to move in. That he wanted to take on the role of husband and father. He knew she had loved him once, so surely it wouldn't take much for her to love him again.
But he couldn't quell the feeling of dark foreboding in his stomach.
When Toph finally left, he looked down at Lin, who grinned up at him, a scrape on her pale cheek.
"Let's play!" Lin declared, hopping down from his knee.
Sokka smiled and followed her into her playroom, which was fully stocked with toys that Sokka—and Toph's parents, he admitted begrudgingly—showered upon the little girl.
After being dressed in a tutu and forced to play dollies with the rambunctious five year old before they switched to playing in the mud, Sokka got Lin ready for bed.
He laid beside her on her mother's bed, reading her a storybook and letting her turn the pages.
When her breaths evened out, Sokka stood and kissed her forehead. "I love you little girl." He whispered before blowing out the lantern by Toph's bed.
Sokka waited up on the couch for Toph to arrive home, but she never did.
Part 3:
The second time Toph announced her pregnancy, Sokka was not surprised. She had come home hungover after her date a few months back, and somehow, Sokka had just known.
So he kept his feelings to himself, unsure of whether it was the right time to tell her or not.
Sokka hated that he'd let her go that night, wishing he'd just confessed.
And part of him was so angry with Toph for choosing to make the same mistake twice. Not that Sokka considered Lin a mistake. No, he loved that little girl as if she was his own. But it had been hard on Toph to raise Lin alone, even with Sokka helping.
"I'm pregnant." Toph confessed over the rim of her teacup.
"Figures." Sokka mumbled.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Toph demanded, bristling at his words.
"You've been moody, that's all." Sokka replied, defeat echoing in his tone. He stared at the table, his eyes filled with sadness. Too late.
Toph's shoulders shook and Sokka held her close. "It's okay, it's okay." He chanted, rubbing her shoulder and resting his chin on top of her head.
"It's not okay. I failed them!" Toph cried, her wails sending a rush of pain through Sokka's heart.
After Suyin had been born, Sokka had been a less active part of the girls lives, mostly because he was always busy.
Admittedly a big reason was how hard it was on him. Loving the girls, that came easy, but being reminded that he would never be their father was a little too much for him to handle day in and day out. Toph had raised them knowing that Sokka was nothing more than a friend, and it was something that he just couldn't reconcile.
"You haven't failed. You've taught those girls to be strong and independent, but you can't control other people's decisions. You know that Toph. Su's choices are her own, and not necessarily a reflection on you as a mother." He reasoned, stroking Toph's long hair.
Toph sniffled and swiped at her eyes. "I still feel like shit." She muttered, taking the tissue he offered to blow her nose.
"You're a good mom Toph, you've done the best job you possibly could. They love you, and eventually they'll make up." He reasoned.
Toph shook her head. "They're like me, they're too damn stubborn to let things go. They'll go to the grave angry with one another." Toph predicted, finally stopping the flood of tears. "I can't be chief anymore." She declared.
Sokka watched her for a long time before finally speaking.
"No, I suppose you can't." He said, knowing that Toph was too stubborn in her convictions to forgive herself for protecting her daughter. Even though Toph would probably never regret her decision to protect Suyin, that didn't mean that her feeling of betraying her position would ebb.
Sokka sighed and kissed the top of her head instinctively, trying to give her any comfort he could.
Toph stiffened and pulled away from him. "Let's not do this." She groaned, and Sokka froze.
"You knew." He accused. "This whole time, you knew how I felt about you, and you still..." He trailed off, anger pulsing white-hot through his veins. He stood up and backed away from her.
Toph closed her eyes and held up a pleading hand. "Sokka please, you're my best friend."
Sokka shook his head and gave her an imploring look. "Spirits Toph...why?" He demanded.
Toph clasped her hands together and her head drooped. After a moment she stood, tears in her eyes again. "I'm going to go." She said quietly.
Sokka watched her go, his emotions a hybrid of anger and pain. This time he knew that he wouldn't follow her.
Part 4:
Toph nestled into Su and Lin's touch, a daughter on either side of her, a hand on each cheek.
"I love you both so much, and I am so proud of you." She said, her voice faint.
Lin bit back tears and nodded at her mother while Suyin sobbed quietly. "The same can be said for us." Lin said carefully, trying to keep her emotions in check, to be strong like her mother always was.
"Mom," Suyin sniffled. "I...we..." She trailed off, not knowing what she could possibly say to ease her mother into the afterlife.
Toph smiled at them and lifted her hands to join her two daughters' free hands. "You girls take care of each other. Be there for one another and don't fight too much. I love you both equally. You two are my world, my greatest achievements," She paused and turned towards Lin. "Don't lose each other again." She turned her unseeing gaze on her younger daughter. "Family is a gift."
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Lin suddenly felt panicked.
"Mother, he's waiting for you on the other side, I can feel it." Lin blurted, her cheeks bright red.
Toph's smile widened. "Oh my sweet girl, of course he is." She said blissfully, looking less troubled than either of her children could ever remember seeing her look.
Suyin stared at Lin, a question in her eyes, but Lin shook her head, indicating that they would talk about it later.
A few minutes later, Toph took her last breath.
A few weeks later, when the pain wasn't as raw, Suyin stopped Lin, who was packing her bags to head home.
"Who were you talking about when you said he was waiting?" She asked, curiosity making its way through the pain in her heart.
Lin smiled faintly, her eyes misty. "Do you remember Sokka?" She asked, a faraway look settling in her eyes.
Su's nose scrunched up as she thought. "Vaguely. He was Katara's brother, right?"
Lin nodded and examined her nails. "They were in love, but circumstances kept them apart in this life. If dating Tenzin taught me anything, it's that Spirits have a way of getting what they want, and I don't think he'll let her go again when they have an eternity to be together." Lin mused, smiling.
Toph smiled, her eyes taking in all of the bright colors and beauty surrounding her. She was young, but not as young as she was when she first heard his voice cheering in the stands.
"Toph," He said, and she turned to face him. He was as handsome as she'd known he would be, his beauty amplified by the gift of color that Earth Bending had never given her.
"Sorry I kept you waiting so long." She said, bringing a hand to his face. He leaned into her touch and smiled at her. "I don't know what it is about you that turns me into such an idiot." She added, rolling her eyes at the man before her.
"That's okay, I'd wait for you forever if I needed to." He replied, bringing her in for a kiss that was long overdue, and that much more perfect because of it.
"I love you Sokka," She whispered when they broke apart, staring into his eyes.
Sokka smiled down at her and pulled her tight against his chest. "I love you too Toph."
A/N: Shorter than what I've been posting lately. Any errors are my own since I still don't have a beta. Also, just for future reference, a lot of these were started before I had watched LOK, so a lot of them aren't necessarily LOK compliant. I'll try to mention it again when it comes up, but just in case one slips through the cracks, I thought I'd let you know why. Thanks for reading, reviewing, following, and adding this story to your favorites, it means a lot to me!
