Author's note: Sorry guys I've taken a week, but to be fair it is not so long… and life and… movies happen… BTW, have you seen Love Story? Or even better, read the book? Man, it's short, but draining on the feels. At least for a romantic such as myself.
Also, I had my brother read this fic (hurray for brothers!), and he found an infinity of mistakes, so much I am lazy to address them. I will though, eventually, I'll tell you when it's done if you want to re-read or something. But the point is, really, don't fear telling me. Now, I will try to be more careful when writing.
He also told me that he loves something about my writing. Now, I am not admiring myself here, just hear me out. Apparently I am extremely unforgiving and leave a lot to be filled out with the head, apparently this is no light reading and you need to be attentive to understand the full meaning of what I say and blah blah blah. The thing is, when doing this, I apparently left too much to be filled. How do I say this? Apparently I need to give you a bit more background on what I am basing myself on, or something like that. I'll try to do it here, you tell me if you detest it or prefer it.
It had taken quite a while for everything to hit him, not when she didn't answer his Ilos reference, not when he hacked the Alliance's systems yet again to make sure they stole the Normandy (again) successfully, not when Vega said something about finally leaving those cabrones (to which Agatha asked if he could get creative and stop calling them 'cabrones', with a teasing smile and shining eyes), not when Joker evaded some leftover automatic defenses, not when she gave him a hesitant, sheepish, and dare he say, somewhat hopeful look before retiring for the night, reassuring the crew they'd start planning first thing in the morning, not when he walked through the corridors of the modern ghost ship he was standing on, and much less when exhaustion caught up with him.
No, everything hit him when he woke up to a once familiar hum, in the observation lounge, with millionth stars staring down at him, the dizzy sensation of thinking you were still deep within a nice dream, and a beep from his omni-tool showing ten messages from superior officers, and one from his mom.
He had changed the course of his life within a night's time.
The repercussions of his actions stared up at him, demanding his attention. Which they got, he answered his mother with a brief message.
Mother,
I love you, and I need you to know you are going to hear some things. Some things… came up, and I needed to look into them. Trust me; I know what I am doing. I won't be able to talk to you for a while, and it would be for the best if you erased this.
Your Son,
Kaidan.
And then eliminated them all e-mails, and checked. He was relieved to find out in his- drowsy? Confused? Agitated? Impulsive?- state he had taken the care to make himself untraceable via the tool. He was going to do things rationally. Now that he was well rested, a lot of the reasons he had taken up to justify himself now sounded a lot like excuses, if he picked them one by one. They seemed to try to fit a puzzle and complement each other, but whenever he tried to process them all as a whole they muddled up. After several failed attempts he felt a migraine coming up.
Oh, he was not taking meds from this ship, not yet at least. He had to wait through this one.
He decided two things. That would be his attitude with everything now on, cautious but not dismissive, and he was not going to complicate with what was done, for it was done. He actually should have from the start, that had been his routine for a while now and he was not leaving it. Not even because this was Agatha, or perhaps especially because it was Shepard. He had based the idea on her after all…
"…you agonize over doing the right thing…" She was saying, her eyes inquisitive, calculating in the most considerate of ways, like trying to understand a puzzle in order to help the mice get the cheese even though it hadn't asked her to. Intelligence and gentleness that radiated with something else he desperately wanted to believe was there, though he told himself otherwise. He often fought not to be enraptured by it, though as of now, the topic of conversation helped. "…because Rhana spurned you after Virnus…"
Kaidan shook away the memory, and stood up to affront what came outside the room. He didn't know what to expect, maybe there'd be Cerberus agents ready to… to deal with him if he didn't cooperate, then again he may encounter what he was supposed to encounter, a bunch of disorganized rogue Shepard-followers he was now forming part of trying to piece together a plan to prevent being caught unprepared by the Reapers. Both were as unlikely as the other.
He took his pistol, somewhat grateful to have kept close to it, even though he didn't really care for it at the moment, secured it in his back but kept his right hand close and headed towards the door.
At that exact moment, it opened to reveal Agatha; almost making them bump into each other. His right hand immediately came up to steady her if needed. To his utter disappointment and weary relieve, it wasn't.
"Shepard! …What are you doing here?"
She raised an eyebrow. "I came here to wake you up. We're gonna prepare everything now, and I thought you would want- you'd have a good perspective."
"Perspective?"
"Perspective."
"…Ok, I ah, I have it." They stood there awkwardly for a few seconds. Just looking at each other.
She broke the silence. "In the loft."
"Ok." He waited for her to get moving, to follow her. She didn't. "…after you?"
"I need to get something."
He nodded. He didn't like this, not at all. Having his back to her was not a comforting thought these days. It looked suspiciously like she wanted to look over the place he slept in. But if she was not herself, the last thing he'd want is for her to realize just how much or how little he suspects, and if she is herself, she would know he wouldn't question her answer back then, before… before. And, if the division between them grew more, he… Let's just say, it was on his best interest to just go where she told him to. So he did.
He went down the hall, to the right, the left, and into the elevator. He forced himself not to look back at her, and did not risk mingling around to eavesdrop on her. She was the infiltrator, and he didn't know where the cameras in the ship were located. He looked at level one if the elevator screen, and felt himself get paralyzed when he saw what the loft was. "Captain quarters" taunted the glow-y letters. "Here goes nothing." He muttered, and pressed the button. His annoying inner voice answered. "Here goes everything."
When Kaidan hesitated before going, Shepard for the first time in a long, long while felt like she could read him again, which did not bring her as much satisfaction as knowing she may just understand him better now, she may just be getting to know the new rugged, brooding version of Kaidan. Still, when he turned the corner she couldn't help slumping against a wall and letting out a huge sigh. Draining it was, talking to him. The only and true reason she even wanted him into the meeting where he could distract her with her very presence, was that he did not want to give him reason to be suspicious. And now, she had to address something.
"EDI?"
"Yes Shepard?"
"The guy I was talking to? I need-"
"The Mayor."
Well, wasn't she updated? "Yes, EDI, I need you to act as a VI around him for a bit. When you want to say something of your own on the meeting, appear like a message from someone or something. And be careful with it, tech is his expertise."
"Because he distrust AI?"
"Yup."
"Done Shepard. I am Eliza Montiliet, then, an ex-embassador."
"Monti-what?"
"… I have taken an appreciation for the story line of some twenty-first century games."
"…ok? We will need another name."
"Rutherford."
"That'll work." Agatha concluded, pushing off the wall. She had taken only a few steps before remembering something else.
"EDI?"
"Yes?"
"Why did you not tell me Mayor Alenko was going out when I was coming in?"
"Since you two entered the ship, I have seen interesting patterns in your heart ratings, hormone levels, and respiration rhythm when you are in the presence of each other. It is… fascinating, and gives me great insight to understand human nature."
"So, you wanted to see what happened if you added surprise into the mix."
"Actually-"
"No, it's ok, EDI. Just don't do it again, please?"
"Yes Shepard. Can I ask why?"
"I'll tell you, someday. But right now, I need you to promise me you will tell nobody else about the data you have collected so far on the topic."
"I promise."
"Thanks EDI. Also, what were the Mayor's readings before I came in?"
Author's note: To what did I make reference to? You think...?
