DISCLAIMER: Not mine.
WORDCOUNT: ~2600
SUMMARY: Alternate Reality. The clues had been there from the start.
Written for evil_little_dog at Halloween Candy 2009.
Unbetaed!
SLOW LEARNER
by Leni
"Edward Elric, you moron." Blue eyes raged at him. "Go to hell!"
With that, Winry Rockbell tossed her screwdriver over his head and stormed out of her room.
o
o
o
One decade ago
Only his mother's voice could tear him from the happy cocoon of her healing touch.
"You know, Ed," Trisha tried to keep her voice even as she applied the ointment. "Just because you like Winry more than the other… kids at school, it doesn't mean that you have to jump into a fight every time someone teases her." She kissed the top of her scowling son's head. "I'm sure Pinako has taught that girl how to defend herself."
"I know," Edward admitted with a sulk. He rubbed a purple spot in his arm, and never told his mother that Kyle hadn't been the one to deliver that hit.
o
o
o
One year ago
"Damn it!" Edward roared as he caught up with Mustang. "Face it, bastard. We're losing."
The older man's face said that he already knew the truth. Sheer doggedness kept him from admitting it. "We only need -"
"We don't have more time." Edward clutched his right shoulder, wishing he felt blood instead of the unknown of short-circuiting cables. "Would you have us dead trying to save Central, or alive to rescue the country?"
Mustang balled his fists, but still didn't give the retreat order.
"I'm not dying here. Not like this." He eyed the black-haired man, then the chaos amidst the flames that this battle had become. "I promised - I said - Fuck all, I promised." Having reached his limit, Edward let out a frustrated yell and pulled back his left arm - to have it caught in an unyielding grasp.
"I'm sure Winry would understand." Hawkeye's voice was soothing, a tone that was seldom heard unless she was sitting at a comrade's death bed.
They would all be dead if Mustang didn't call off the attack. "Whatever." The laughter that came out was a hurt sound. "She'll be better off if she doesn't have to worry about us."
o
o
o
One month ago
Edward wondered when Pinako Rockbell had started looking like an old woman. "I'm not sorry I didn't contact you." He hadn't been able to tell that to the granddaughter. He had expected guilt sneaking up on him when Winry set eyes on him, and the matter-of-factness of her gaze had disturbed him even more. "But I am sorry at returning like this, for this reason."
"I know you need her," Pinako started, slanting a look at his shoulder.
"It's not about me," Edward told her, gold eyes bright with silent helplessness. "The last months have been the worst. There are so many others waiting for her…."
"I see."
Edward huffed a breath. He was still waiting for her to explain why she'd dragged him to the repair shop when he should be contacting Alphonse to pick them up from the Rockbell house.
The brass had complained at losing a restless guard when his brother's body was recovered - not to Edward's face, of course, but even Hawkeye's steel gaze couldn't quiet the whispers. Where others, Al included, had seen weakness, Mustang had seen a face unknown to the enemy. He'd waited two weeks for the boy to recover, and then had charged Al with the most public jobs. Reconnaissance, vital deliveries, and of course, transportation.
The alchemic battle that had followed that decision had been stopped by Al himself. Meeting Edward's irate eyes, the younger brother had announced that he'd do it, that in fact, he was happy to still be of use.
That one of his first assignments was to collect their old friend had caused mixed feelings in the brothers, but Alphonse had braved through them in the days beforehand. Edward had refused to think too much about it, and then found a rush of anxiety enveloping him as he knocked on the Rockbell front door.
"I can't tell her not to go," Pinako spoke up, bending over the table as she checked the contents of their biggest toolbox. A smile broke her stern features when she discovered an old picture hidden beneath the set of magnifying lenses. She showed it to the boy, no - the man before her. "Even as a little girl, she never considered not following you."
The picture was of two boys and a girl. Edward took a glance at their clothes and decided it'd been taken during some town festivity - he wouldn't have worn the tie otherwise.
"She came back with a torn dress that night," the older woman remembered. "Such a pretty one, too."
Edward tried to define the memory, even as the present pressed him to leave the past aside and focus. He was about to snap at his honorary grandmother, ask why she was wasting his time, but he caught sight of her expression and the annoyed words died in his throat. "I'll take better care of her this time, Gran," he promised, feeling in his gut that was the appropriate response.
"Of course you will. You never considered not protecting her," Pinako laughed. "That's not the point, Edward."
"Then spill it!" he snarled, annoyed that his attempt to relieve the older woman had been brushed off.
"Winry isn't going out of love. Not this time."
Edward blinked. "What's that gotta do with anything?"
Pinako replaced the picture, added another taken much later. Two teenagers and a metal armor: Winry had one arm around Al, half supported on him as she stretched up to put bunny ears on his much taller head; meanwhile, arms crossed and a sullen dark face, Edward looked straight at the camera and made as if he didn't notice the others' antics. "Here is the truth, child," she chuckled at the way he bristled. "You won't last long on her loyalty only."
o
o
o
One week ago
The heavy rain made the night miserable. The silence between them made it worse.
"No," Alphonse said when he felt his brother's eyes fixed on him.
Edward pretended to have been looking out for possible enemy scouts. "Huh?"
"No, Ed," the youngster sighed, wishing he didn't have to explain such obvious things. "I am not in love with Winry. She is not in love with me. We are not in love with each other." It wasn't his fault that, after several hours attending the injured, Winry sought out the brother who didn't broadcast mixed signals by the hour. Her temper was shorter than usual; being forced to work with little support and less supplies, she didn't have the time to sort through awkward feelings. Ed's bumbling courtship would have been endearing in a simpler world. Now it drove Winry up the wall, and not even their usual screaming matches were enough of a relief from the growing tension between them.
Not that his oblivious brother noticed.
"That's…." Edward's brow creased. "too bad?"
Al closed his eyes for a second. He almost missed being a giant armor - if Ed started sputtering in protest, smacking the stubborn man with his bare hands would be no fun at all. "It's a good thing, Brother. For you."
At least this time Edward stayed quiet.
o
o
o
One hour ago
"What are you doing?"
Edward turned towards the taller man. With that ever-present smirk on his face, nobody would ever guess that the ex Colonel was laying down after another close call. If Hawkeye discovered that he'd sneaked out of bed again…. Ed grinned. "What are you doing?"
The proud expression never faltered. "I'm still your superior, Fullmetal. Even in exile."
Edward's growl didn't make an impression. Shrugging his left shoulder, he pointed to his right arm. "Something isn't working right - must be all that hauling your unconscious carcass out of the frontline."
Mustang watched him for a long moment. "That shoulder has been bothering you since Bradley sliced through it, no matter what your little mechanic has tried." He grinned. "So you have other reasons to search for her at this time of the night - it's about time, Fullmetal."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Edward mumbled as he pressed his pace.
Mustang's amused rumble followed him down the hallway.
o
o
o
One second ago
Edward ducked, more instinct than true fear, and heard the screwdriver hit the wall and bounce onto her bed. "Winry?" The slam of the door answered him. "No." He jumped to his feet, muttering under his breath as the stalk he'd planned toward the narrow hallway was slowed to an undignified limp. "You are not doing this, you heard me?"
A flicker of a blond ponytail waved goodbye as it turned the corner toward the public rooms.
Edward hurried his steps, damning the moment he'd thought that the midst of a repair session was good timing for his declaration. Damning even more the wording he'd used. He could envision Mustang snapping gloved fingers at him, "Telling the girl you knew she'd been after you for years. Have you no brains, Fullmetal?"
He cringed. He'd probably let the bastard fry him if it ever came to that. With his left hand, he pushed the door to the main room, then sighed when he remembered the many routes to be taken from this point. There were two more hallways leading out from the other side of the room, there was the corridor into the kitchen through the French doors in the corner, there was the small inside patio where Mei grew some medicinal herbs, and also…. Headquarters seemed a thousand times bigger when he didn't know which path to choose.
"Guys?" The last year had taught him when to relent and ask for help. Bad thing neither Hawkeye, Falman not Alphonse bothered to look up from their poker game. But Edward Elric had never been faulted as a coward. "Guys! I'm talking to you. Have you seen…."
Falman hooked his thumb in the direction of the front door.
Making an effort to keep his automail limbs from betraying him, Edward turned away from the trio. Then froze at the unmistakable sound of a cocked gun. He didn't need to look back. "I want to clear things up," he told Hawkeye.
"He does," Al piped up in support. "He's just being denser than usual about it."
The comment earned a few chuckles. Edward pretended to ignore them as he followed the trail of an upset friend. "You should check your room, Lieutenant," he threw over his shoulder, "I think your guest is not following instructions." The scrape of a chair against the floor made him grin as he opened the door.
To the gardens, then. Once upon a time, they had been the prize of generations of Armstrong women - even Olivia had paled at the sight of a few pitiful bushes trying to reclaim the grounds that military drills had appropiated. They all had thought it was a good thing that Alex Louis would be spared the sight of it.
The night was thankfully warm. Tonight he was in no mood to shrug off the bite of cold metal rubbing half his extremities. "Winry!" The wind sent a breeze against his face, as if mocking him. It smelled like wildflowers, though, and Edward remembered her commenting how much she loved that colorful patch further away, and her enthusiasm when even more colors had appeared after the last rains. There was no more structure to the flowerbeds, and she'd said.... She'd said they looked lovelier in the wild. "Of course," he mumbled, hoping the heavier automail wouldn't sink into the softened soil.
He cursed the sluggishness of his steps. Any other day he wouldn't have let her leave the room, would have explained what he meant before she started throwing her tools around. It was easy to trace her, a set of small prints that confirmed his suspicions. He tried to ignore the distance and depth of them, a sign that she'd been running away.
Away from the house.
Away from him.
His right arm was useless against the low branches in his way, so he half-heartedly lifted the left one to fend them off his face. It didn't take long to find her, and a part of him was shocked by that. He was too used to chasing after the impossible - was it any wonder he hadn't seen her until she started moving on?
Winry sat up at the noise he made, gaping in obvious surprise when she discovered him. She squinted a little, tilting her head to try to catch whoever had led him to this spot. When it was clear that he was alone, her eyes narrowed and she found her voice again. "You walked here? On your own?" She studied him, lingering on the open ports at leg and arm.
"Can you scream at me later?" Edward didn't wait for an answer. "What I said before. That didn't come out right," he said as he reached the edge of the small flower field. Tired at the effort of a couple hundred yards on failing automail, Edward gave up the tough act and leaned against the trunk closest to her. "I didn't mean to sound full of myself."
The snort she gave was one he would have copied had he practiced his words before reaching her. Even before he was known as the Fullmetal Alchemist, the youngest prodigy of the Amestrian military, Edward Elric had known his worth - and made sure everyone else shared in the knowledge.
"I mean…. I don't care about how you've been feeling - wait!" Twin blue flames stared at him, disbelief that he'd treat his oldest friend with such cruel coldness, sorrow at a wasted decade of feelings, or fury that he would dare that behavior on her - Edward wasn't close enough to read the look with any accuracy, but he hoped it was anger. He was familiar with Winry's anger.
Passing a weary hand across his forehead, he wished Alphonse were here so he could translate the tangle of feelings into sensible words. "I care about you, okay? I have for a long time, apparently."
Her eyes softened, and she stood up, a bunch of flowers still clutched in her hands. But she was the one woman as stubborn as he. "I know you care about me, Ed. Now wait there, I'll help you back to th---"
"I love you." Trying to be romantic had landed him in an hour of extra poking, an excruciating hike after her, and he was sure there was a bug trying to crawl down the hem of his shirt. "There. I said it."
"You love me."
She didn't give any reaction except that slow repetition of his statement, as if trying it on for size. But Edward had known her since they were in diapers; once upon a time, after a prank had been played, spotting an amused Rockbell girl from afar had been the difference between joined laughter and a world of pain.
He dared to smile, and a sweet sound filled the clearing.
Later he would convince himself that it had been the wind, whistling between the branches and playing with the dead leaves. But in that moment, it felt like a thousand little laughs in the air, a song hidden in the trees that had found its source in the woman standing among them.
"I love you, Winry." Edward was surprised at how easy it was to say it for a second time. Then he shuffled from one foot to the other, most of his weight supported by the trunk behind him, and shoved his left hand deep into his jacket pocket. "I'm sorry it took me so long," he confessed, and hating the way his cheeks were burning, he threw in the last of it, "It sucks being the last to know."
"Oh, Ed." This time, she did smile. "I'm sure some people in Xing still haven't found out."
The End
09/12/09
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