A/N: Yeah, it's taking me forever...luckily I have the next chapter planned out exactly, so it shouldn't be out to long after this one. Life's been crappy lately, so I've drawn from that to bring the angst, sadness in this chapter... I'm also thinking of chapter eight being the last chapter, unless i think up something exciting. I have two more fics in the works, though, so this isn't the last of me! mwahahaha.
)(Chapter Seven)(
And the time has come to undo the wrong I've done
I am a grieving man -- I can't believe the things I've done to you
I am a guilty man -- I can't believe the things I've done to you
Everybody thinks I'm blue and what everybody think is it's true
And I just can't keep it inside
So you think it's you? So you think it's true?
And I can't believe the things I've done to you
--Filter
The moment he stepped through the door, Wakka pounced on him, pulling him into a headlock. "Heey, hey! I...can't...breathe." Tidus gasped.
"Heh heh, sorry, bud. Just so happy, ya know?" Wakka said, letting go of his shorter friend's head. "Can't believe you're, back, eh?" His old blitzball friend actually looked like he might start crying.
Behind him, Yuna was beaming and sniffling back her own tears, though the still pouring rain made it look like she was crying anyway. "I-I have to go get Kimhari." she said before running back inside. At the door she stopped and looked at Tidus, making sure he really was there and continued inside.
Tidus lowered his eyes, but they immediatly shot back up when he felt to arms embrace him, and he realized that Lulu was hugging him. He stood frozen, not believing that Lulu was capable of that kind of emotion, and then looked at the older woman when she pulled back. Several silent tears rolled down her smiling face. "Well, I see you lightened up."
Lulu laughed slightly then walked over to Wakka and they smiled at each other before calling Tidus to follow them inside. Tidus nodded and as they walked by, he noticed Rikku standing quietly a few paces behind them. Her eyes were focused on the ground, hands clasped behind her back. He placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump slightly. "You okay, Rikku?"
She nodded. "Of course, silly."
Tidus nodded too. "Coming inside?"
Rikku rubbed her arms uncomfortably in the cold rain and looked past Tidus to the door of the inn, where laughter could be heard in the dreary afternoon. "Y-yeah, I'll..um.. be right there."
Tidus smiled at the Al Bhed, and was a little worried when she didn't smile back, or even seem to notice he had smiled at all. "Eh..." he said silently, but figured Rikku was just tired, or still shocked... or worried about Yuna. He nodded to himself, then turned back to the inn, walking into the dry main-room. He shook out his hair before he was nearly trammpled by Kimhari coming to greet him.
"Hey, hey! Whoa, big fella. It's good to see you too." He patted the blue fur of his beast-like friend and laughed to himself for no reason.
"Do you want anything to eat? Oh, you must be starving!" Yuna asked from the otherside of the room.
Tidus scratched his head. "Uh, actually, Rikku got me something to eat. Really, I'm good," he said to the concerned looks he got.
"Where did you disappear to, Tidus?" Lulu asked no sitting with Wakka at the table. Wakka nodded his agreement, as they all seemed interested in the story of their friend.
"Heh, actually it's...kind unbelievable." He glanced to Yuna, who nodded her encouragement. Tidus took a breath, going over the story in his mind, then let it out, very, very slowly. It didn't really make sense, even to him. "You see, I was a dream. The Fayth, well, when they weren't Aeons, they slept. And they dreamed. They dreamed about Zanarkand 1,000 years ago... about the people who lived there... about the things that happened there. And... well, I was one of the people they dreamt about. I might have been an actual person, a thousand years ago, but right now, I'm just imagination. My dad was, too. Everything I told you guys about...wasn't real."
Silence hung in the room, and the faint sound of increasing drops of rain could be heard from outside. Tidus wondered where Rikku was, and he was worried that she was getting soaking wet. He needed her for support, for when he finally built up enough courage. Where was she?
::+.:.+.:.+::
Rikku stared at the blue and green door of the inn, not really taking it in, but staring past it into the nothingness of a void in her mind. Her mind registered nothing, that she was cold, freezing actually...that she was soaking wet...that lightening lit up the streets every few moments, or that thunder rummbled overhead and in the distance. Her emerald eyes just stared.
It was only when she had made her decision that any of this came into her mind.
She quickly ducked under an overhang across the street, and shivered to herself. She really needed to find more appropriate clothes for the frigid climate that the rest of Spira had. Rikku missed her Home, the desert, the water that surrounded the island their desert was on. She missed her own people, her dad, her brother. She wanted to help rebuild her Home, so that the Al Bhed would have a Home again.
But she'd grown up so much just over the past weeks of the journey and she couldn't see herself being a true Al Bhed again. She had made the most social advancement of her people in years. Unlike most of her kind, she had become friends with those who worshiped Yevon, she had been to strange places, and she'd beaten Sin without using Machina.
One day she hoped the two peoples would be friends, and that it might happen because of her. That thought brought a smile to her face, a true smile, that had been rare that day.
Rikku's attention turned back to the inn and she nodded to no one in particular. Her decision was made. No matter how much she felt the need, or how much her feelings weighed down her heart, she knew it was wrong. Tidus and Yuna... they were the perfect couple. Somehow she felt her presense was throwing the couple off balance. With her gone, Tidus would realize his feelings were wrong and he loved Yuna, and Yuna would be happy. And... if it didn't work out that way... she couldn't be around Tidus, knowing she could have him, but never being able too. Something she could never do to her family.
She stepped out onto the street, her boots making little tapping sounds on the pavement. Runing away had always been a specialty of hers, it came with being a theif. She had runaway from Home atleast a dozen times in her adolescense, never to be caught, but to come Home herself, because she missed it. Rikku knew she'd miss here, too, but she'd only hurt herself, and possibly Yuna, more if she stayed. She didn't know where she'd go, what she'd do, but that was the adventure of the road.
The rainclouds seemed to be hovering over her, and Rikku paused a moment and stared up, blinking away the drops that fell into her eyes. It never rained much in the desert, and she'd always loved it as a kid. Now it was just cold. She shivered. almost at the same time the thought ran through her mind: she should say goodbye, in some shape or form?
Rikku stared at the door, and found it amazing that the door held that much interest to her. She took a few steps foward, reaching her hand out for the knob when her foot hit something on the ground. Crouching down, she looked for the object on the walkway and found the shinny object stuck in a crack. It was a silver ring... but not just a ring... was it... Tidus's?
She had admired the ring from a far, always marveling at it's craftmanship. It was even more spectacular then she had imagined. The cold metal slipped onto the hand that wasn't covered with the glove and she stared transfixed as it glowed in the dim light. Rikku straightened herself and backaway from the door.
"Goodbye, everyone." She whispered, the wind picking up and blowing her loose hair across her face.
"Goodbye..." she whispered, even more quiet, her voice threatening to break. "...Tidus."
With that, she sighed deeply and turned, running down the streets that led out of Luca.
::+.:.+.:.+::
It took them awhile, but they finally understood the mystery of Tidus's disappearance. Tidus then told them he wanted to lie down, that he was a little tired and found his way to the back bedroom.
He threw himself on the bed, placing a pillow over his face, and listened to his breath russle the fabric. In the darkness of the shadow of his pillow, Tidus decided the best approach of telling Yuna. Or, tried to, anyway...
"Uh...Yuna...," he said to the empty room. "Well, maybe I was kinda hasty, ya know? I don't really love you. I'm sorry. Wanna be friends?" He smacked his head.
"I never actually said 'I love you' back so that doesn't mean it's legal, or anything." He threw the pillow at the wall.
"My body was possessed by Yu Yevon and uh, that wasn't really me, and so what I said wasn't true..." He screamed in frustration. Nothing he said was ever right... maybe that's why he never had a girlfriend for very long.
"Tidus." The calm voice came from behind him and Tidus turned to quickly for his own good, tripping over his feet and falling onto the bed. The voice chuckled. "I'm sorry to frighten you, Tidus."
"Lord Braska?" He got back to his feet, staring at the ghostly image of Yuna's father.
"Yes, I'm sure your father has told you the story already?" Tidus nodded. The old summoner sighed and started pacing the room. "I...I know that you don't really love Yuna, Tidus. I just wanted to ask you to let her know, and as gently as possible. I don't want to see her hurt, but it'll hurt even more if you wait."
Tidus felt like his heart weighed 200 pounds. What he was doing was going to kill everyone. "I wish you had never brought me back," he sighed, sitting back on the bed.
Braska smiled in sympathy. "Wasn't just us, Tidus. It was the Fayth, too. They thought you deserved a better life. I'm sure things will pick up soon."
"Yeah..., right." Tidus shrugged it off, then looked back at the old man. "I don't know how to tell your daughter, Bras--, sir...er...lord?"
He chuckled again. "Braska is fine. Just tell her what you feel, Tidus. I'm sure the truth will be fine for her."
"She's gonna wish I never came back too."
"Tidus?"
Tidus bounced up, and looked at the door. Yuna's voice had come from the other side. "Who are you talking to?"
He looked around the room to find the form of Braska gone and frowned. "Uh...no one. Can you come in?"
The door opened and closed, but Tidus couldn't bring himself to even look. "Yu-yuna, there's something really important you need to know."
"Hmm?" Yuna asked in her innocent voice, sitting down on the bed, and smiling. She was oblivious to everything, to the pain he was about to cause her.
"Yuna..." he walked over, still staring at the ground, then sat down next to her, taking her hands in his. "You remember, back on the airship... heh, I'm sure you couldn't forget... you told me..."
"I loved you?" Yuna finished for him, her smile like a child's.
"Yeah...yeah. That's it. The thing is, Yuna..." He brought his eyes up, finally allowing himself to look into the eyes of the young summoner. One eye a color of the blue sky that mirrored his own, the other a deep green that resembled that of the Al Bhed, that mirrored her own heritage. It reminded him exactly of Rikku's eyes. Sweet eyes that were almost as childish as Yuna's... the green eyes that had caught his attention when they had first met. If it wasn't for Rikku, he could have been dead before the whole thing had begun.
But it was his own eyes that betrayed the emotions so deeply locked in the blue orbs that Yuna saw, and her smile dropped. "I don't...f..feel...the same...way... I did, you know? Back then. I shared the feelings as much as you did. But, in that void in time...I don't know," he stood up, walking around the room, "it was like the emotions disappeared. Maybe deep down, I knew I wasn't going to live long, and I wanted to hold onto something, and I had feelings for you. Yuna, believe me that I had feelings for you, deep feelings and I would never, ever want to hurt you. I don't even want to hurt you now, but you need to know. I can't even explain it, it's just that I loved you then..." Tidus paused, realizing he was rambling and running out of breath. He couldn't even bring himself to look back at Yuna and just stared at the wall..."but, something just isn't there anymore."
The silence was hell even more then hearing Yuna sobbing, screaming, trying to convince him he was wrong. Tidus found himself starting to cry too. Maybe he was wrong? Maybe he was afraid of going away again, hurting Yuna again and--
"Tidus," Yuna's calmly depressed voice cut through the air. "You're...you're sure?"
"I wish I wasn't. I wish I still loved you. I wish we could be together." He turned to look at Yuna and found her lying on the bed, crying silently. Tidus walked over, and sat down next to her, feeling like an idiot.
"I-I really loved you... the first person I ever loved." Yuna whispered like a scared little child.
Tidus layed down next to her, stroking one hand over her head as she cried into the pillows and sheets. He wished he would die, right there, and just disappear. Damn the Fayth...
"After today... I should leave," Tidus said before he even realized the words were out of his mouth. "I never wanted to hurt you, damn it, it was the last thing I ever wanted to do. The one thing I never imagined myself doing. I still can't believe it myself, but I don't feel the intimate love I felt for you before." The perfect male thing to say... his words were stupid, akward. Another reason he played blitzball, a non verbal profession.
"No," Yuna said, sitting up. "I don't want you to go. I want us to be friends, like when we first met. You're still my guardian, Tidus, I don't want to loose you completly."
Tidus stared at Yuna. She was, suprisingly, taking it well. He wondered if it was the Summoner training or if she was just being strong...for him. "All right then," Tidus tried to smile. "I'll always be your guardian, Yuna, and I will always, always, be your friend. That's one thing I promise never to stop being."
Yuna nodded and stood up. "I don't want everyone else to know," she looked at the floor. "Just... not yet."
He sat up, then got to his feet and grabbed a tissue from the side table, before heading for the door. He guessed Yuna wanted to be alone, because he wanted to be too. As he opened the door, he heard Yuna call from behind. "You're going to be here, right? You're not going to disappear on me again?"
"I promise, I won't." And he left her staring blankly at the floor.
It was the worst thing he'd done in his life, and he'd feel horrible about it until the day he died. It seemed almost stupid that his story had ended in trajedy. Maybe he was just bad luck....or bad luck in love.
He was able to sneak out past the others and wandered into the rain outside, sitting on the step as the rain plastered his hair to his forehead. Where had Rikku gone? Tidus shook his head, wondering why he'd even thought about Rikku at a time like that. He rubbed his hands together, and realized they were shaking, from the cold, or the tears...or both. Then, he realized the ring was missing. The championship ring he'd won at the tournament last year. He loved that thing.
Tidus stood up and wandered in circles around the street. While it could be anywhere, he hoped that it was outside the inn, because if it wasn't... well, it could be at the bottom of the ocean. "Perfect, just...perfect," he muttered to himself. The day had been horrible. Wasn't it suppose to be the greatest day of his life? He was alive... again. Taking charge of his life. It would probably be easier if he threw himself into the ocean with his ring.
The pavement was wet, but Tidus sat down anyway, looking more and more like a drowned rat. He needed to get his mind of this, or he'd depress himself into a point of no return. He stretched his hands out behind him when he brushed past something feathery. One of the feather's Rikku decorated her hair with. He stared at the orange feather in his hand, as the memories of the cheery girl rushed through his memory.
Saving him at the abandoned temple...
Diving for the ruins...
Finding her washed up on shore...
Watching her Home beinging destroyed...
Trying to find a way to save Yuna, together...
They'd been through a lot, together... The first person he'd shared a friendship with on this new world... Every memory was a good memory, every memory he cherished greatly.
It hit him like the fattest rain drop would him square on the forehead. Why he thought about her so much... why he trusted her... why he felt comfortable with her... why he had these feelings... perhaps... why he no longer felt anything for Yuna?
Wait... where had that come from? Tidus gripped the feather in his hand until he was sure it would come out disfigured and closed his eyes just as tightly. Did he...?
"Damn it," he muttered, though he really wasn't mad if his feelings were true.
"Having problems?" A smug voice in front of him.
Tidus was sure he already knew who it was, but opened his eyes just incase. He was right, the ghostly form of Auron stood in front of him, the half hidden eyes of his mentor mocking him. "Auron!"
The older man smirked. "Yeah, thought you might need some help."
"I don't even know if I need help! I don't know what's going on with me anymore. I'm so lost... so confused."
"That's what I'm here for, hmm?" The spirit took a few steps closer, looking at the feather in Tidus's hand. "You have feelings for Rikku, right? Just admit it Tidus, it'll be alot easier."
"No! It's not supose to be that easy. It's not supose to be this soon!"
"If you lie to yourself, it's just going to build up inside, and it won't help anyone in the end. Look into your heart." Auron nodded to him.
Tidus raised a brow. "You sure you're Auron? You don't sound much like him."
Auron chuckled. "Heh, being dead does wonders for my personality."
"Uh huh." Tidus rolled his eyes, and slowly opened his head, looking down at the distorted orange in his hand. He felt something, just looking at an object that belonged to her. Her. Rikku. His eyes shot up to Auron.
"I wish it had been this simple with Yuna..."
"She'll move on, Tidus. We all do. Looks like you are too." He walked past Tidus, so that they stood shoulder to shoulder but facing opposite directions. "She's headed to Guadosalam. The Farplane."
Tidus nodded and looked back at the inn. He would come back, he promised Yuna. There was just one thing he needed to do first. Never had his heart been flopped around so much, but he felt, for once that day, he was making the right decision.
He looked back to thank Auron, but the man was already gone, like Tidus should be. Tidus nodded to the air with a smile and headed at a run through the streets of Luca, confused as hell, and yet, more clear-headed then he'd ever felt before.
A/N: Whoa O_O. Okay so I made Tidus a little insensative...but, eh, he's a guy...uhm...*stops* I take that back, didn't mean to offend my male readers...hehe...hehe...heh... sorry Auron was out of character, for some reason I couldn't write his personality. I hope ya'll enjoyed Chapter Seven, and the entire story. I'm sure you can guess how it'll all end next chapter ;).
)(Chapter Seven)(
And the time has come to undo the wrong I've done
I am a grieving man -- I can't believe the things I've done to you
I am a guilty man -- I can't believe the things I've done to you
Everybody thinks I'm blue and what everybody think is it's true
And I just can't keep it inside
So you think it's you? So you think it's true?
And I can't believe the things I've done to you
--Filter
The moment he stepped through the door, Wakka pounced on him, pulling him into a headlock. "Heey, hey! I...can't...breathe." Tidus gasped.
"Heh heh, sorry, bud. Just so happy, ya know?" Wakka said, letting go of his shorter friend's head. "Can't believe you're, back, eh?" His old blitzball friend actually looked like he might start crying.
Behind him, Yuna was beaming and sniffling back her own tears, though the still pouring rain made it look like she was crying anyway. "I-I have to go get Kimhari." she said before running back inside. At the door she stopped and looked at Tidus, making sure he really was there and continued inside.
Tidus lowered his eyes, but they immediatly shot back up when he felt to arms embrace him, and he realized that Lulu was hugging him. He stood frozen, not believing that Lulu was capable of that kind of emotion, and then looked at the older woman when she pulled back. Several silent tears rolled down her smiling face. "Well, I see you lightened up."
Lulu laughed slightly then walked over to Wakka and they smiled at each other before calling Tidus to follow them inside. Tidus nodded and as they walked by, he noticed Rikku standing quietly a few paces behind them. Her eyes were focused on the ground, hands clasped behind her back. He placed a hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump slightly. "You okay, Rikku?"
She nodded. "Of course, silly."
Tidus nodded too. "Coming inside?"
Rikku rubbed her arms uncomfortably in the cold rain and looked past Tidus to the door of the inn, where laughter could be heard in the dreary afternoon. "Y-yeah, I'll..um.. be right there."
Tidus smiled at the Al Bhed, and was a little worried when she didn't smile back, or even seem to notice he had smiled at all. "Eh..." he said silently, but figured Rikku was just tired, or still shocked... or worried about Yuna. He nodded to himself, then turned back to the inn, walking into the dry main-room. He shook out his hair before he was nearly trammpled by Kimhari coming to greet him.
"Hey, hey! Whoa, big fella. It's good to see you too." He patted the blue fur of his beast-like friend and laughed to himself for no reason.
"Do you want anything to eat? Oh, you must be starving!" Yuna asked from the otherside of the room.
Tidus scratched his head. "Uh, actually, Rikku got me something to eat. Really, I'm good," he said to the concerned looks he got.
"Where did you disappear to, Tidus?" Lulu asked no sitting with Wakka at the table. Wakka nodded his agreement, as they all seemed interested in the story of their friend.
"Heh, actually it's...kind unbelievable." He glanced to Yuna, who nodded her encouragement. Tidus took a breath, going over the story in his mind, then let it out, very, very slowly. It didn't really make sense, even to him. "You see, I was a dream. The Fayth, well, when they weren't Aeons, they slept. And they dreamed. They dreamed about Zanarkand 1,000 years ago... about the people who lived there... about the things that happened there. And... well, I was one of the people they dreamt about. I might have been an actual person, a thousand years ago, but right now, I'm just imagination. My dad was, too. Everything I told you guys about...wasn't real."
Silence hung in the room, and the faint sound of increasing drops of rain could be heard from outside. Tidus wondered where Rikku was, and he was worried that she was getting soaking wet. He needed her for support, for when he finally built up enough courage. Where was she?
::+.:.+.:.+::
Rikku stared at the blue and green door of the inn, not really taking it in, but staring past it into the nothingness of a void in her mind. Her mind registered nothing, that she was cold, freezing actually...that she was soaking wet...that lightening lit up the streets every few moments, or that thunder rummbled overhead and in the distance. Her emerald eyes just stared.
It was only when she had made her decision that any of this came into her mind.
She quickly ducked under an overhang across the street, and shivered to herself. She really needed to find more appropriate clothes for the frigid climate that the rest of Spira had. Rikku missed her Home, the desert, the water that surrounded the island their desert was on. She missed her own people, her dad, her brother. She wanted to help rebuild her Home, so that the Al Bhed would have a Home again.
But she'd grown up so much just over the past weeks of the journey and she couldn't see herself being a true Al Bhed again. She had made the most social advancement of her people in years. Unlike most of her kind, she had become friends with those who worshiped Yevon, she had been to strange places, and she'd beaten Sin without using Machina.
One day she hoped the two peoples would be friends, and that it might happen because of her. That thought brought a smile to her face, a true smile, that had been rare that day.
Rikku's attention turned back to the inn and she nodded to no one in particular. Her decision was made. No matter how much she felt the need, or how much her feelings weighed down her heart, she knew it was wrong. Tidus and Yuna... they were the perfect couple. Somehow she felt her presense was throwing the couple off balance. With her gone, Tidus would realize his feelings were wrong and he loved Yuna, and Yuna would be happy. And... if it didn't work out that way... she couldn't be around Tidus, knowing she could have him, but never being able too. Something she could never do to her family.
She stepped out onto the street, her boots making little tapping sounds on the pavement. Runing away had always been a specialty of hers, it came with being a theif. She had runaway from Home atleast a dozen times in her adolescense, never to be caught, but to come Home herself, because she missed it. Rikku knew she'd miss here, too, but she'd only hurt herself, and possibly Yuna, more if she stayed. She didn't know where she'd go, what she'd do, but that was the adventure of the road.
The rainclouds seemed to be hovering over her, and Rikku paused a moment and stared up, blinking away the drops that fell into her eyes. It never rained much in the desert, and she'd always loved it as a kid. Now it was just cold. She shivered. almost at the same time the thought ran through her mind: she should say goodbye, in some shape or form?
Rikku stared at the door, and found it amazing that the door held that much interest to her. She took a few steps foward, reaching her hand out for the knob when her foot hit something on the ground. Crouching down, she looked for the object on the walkway and found the shinny object stuck in a crack. It was a silver ring... but not just a ring... was it... Tidus's?
She had admired the ring from a far, always marveling at it's craftmanship. It was even more spectacular then she had imagined. The cold metal slipped onto the hand that wasn't covered with the glove and she stared transfixed as it glowed in the dim light. Rikku straightened herself and backaway from the door.
"Goodbye, everyone." She whispered, the wind picking up and blowing her loose hair across her face.
"Goodbye..." she whispered, even more quiet, her voice threatening to break. "...Tidus."
With that, she sighed deeply and turned, running down the streets that led out of Luca.
::+.:.+.:.+::
It took them awhile, but they finally understood the mystery of Tidus's disappearance. Tidus then told them he wanted to lie down, that he was a little tired and found his way to the back bedroom.
He threw himself on the bed, placing a pillow over his face, and listened to his breath russle the fabric. In the darkness of the shadow of his pillow, Tidus decided the best approach of telling Yuna. Or, tried to, anyway...
"Uh...Yuna...," he said to the empty room. "Well, maybe I was kinda hasty, ya know? I don't really love you. I'm sorry. Wanna be friends?" He smacked his head.
"I never actually said 'I love you' back so that doesn't mean it's legal, or anything." He threw the pillow at the wall.
"My body was possessed by Yu Yevon and uh, that wasn't really me, and so what I said wasn't true..." He screamed in frustration. Nothing he said was ever right... maybe that's why he never had a girlfriend for very long.
"Tidus." The calm voice came from behind him and Tidus turned to quickly for his own good, tripping over his feet and falling onto the bed. The voice chuckled. "I'm sorry to frighten you, Tidus."
"Lord Braska?" He got back to his feet, staring at the ghostly image of Yuna's father.
"Yes, I'm sure your father has told you the story already?" Tidus nodded. The old summoner sighed and started pacing the room. "I...I know that you don't really love Yuna, Tidus. I just wanted to ask you to let her know, and as gently as possible. I don't want to see her hurt, but it'll hurt even more if you wait."
Tidus felt like his heart weighed 200 pounds. What he was doing was going to kill everyone. "I wish you had never brought me back," he sighed, sitting back on the bed.
Braska smiled in sympathy. "Wasn't just us, Tidus. It was the Fayth, too. They thought you deserved a better life. I'm sure things will pick up soon."
"Yeah..., right." Tidus shrugged it off, then looked back at the old man. "I don't know how to tell your daughter, Bras--, sir...er...lord?"
He chuckled again. "Braska is fine. Just tell her what you feel, Tidus. I'm sure the truth will be fine for her."
"She's gonna wish I never came back too."
"Tidus?"
Tidus bounced up, and looked at the door. Yuna's voice had come from the other side. "Who are you talking to?"
He looked around the room to find the form of Braska gone and frowned. "Uh...no one. Can you come in?"
The door opened and closed, but Tidus couldn't bring himself to even look. "Yu-yuna, there's something really important you need to know."
"Hmm?" Yuna asked in her innocent voice, sitting down on the bed, and smiling. She was oblivious to everything, to the pain he was about to cause her.
"Yuna..." he walked over, still staring at the ground, then sat down next to her, taking her hands in his. "You remember, back on the airship... heh, I'm sure you couldn't forget... you told me..."
"I loved you?" Yuna finished for him, her smile like a child's.
"Yeah...yeah. That's it. The thing is, Yuna..." He brought his eyes up, finally allowing himself to look into the eyes of the young summoner. One eye a color of the blue sky that mirrored his own, the other a deep green that resembled that of the Al Bhed, that mirrored her own heritage. It reminded him exactly of Rikku's eyes. Sweet eyes that were almost as childish as Yuna's... the green eyes that had caught his attention when they had first met. If it wasn't for Rikku, he could have been dead before the whole thing had begun.
But it was his own eyes that betrayed the emotions so deeply locked in the blue orbs that Yuna saw, and her smile dropped. "I don't...f..feel...the same...way... I did, you know? Back then. I shared the feelings as much as you did. But, in that void in time...I don't know," he stood up, walking around the room, "it was like the emotions disappeared. Maybe deep down, I knew I wasn't going to live long, and I wanted to hold onto something, and I had feelings for you. Yuna, believe me that I had feelings for you, deep feelings and I would never, ever want to hurt you. I don't even want to hurt you now, but you need to know. I can't even explain it, it's just that I loved you then..." Tidus paused, realizing he was rambling and running out of breath. He couldn't even bring himself to look back at Yuna and just stared at the wall..."but, something just isn't there anymore."
The silence was hell even more then hearing Yuna sobbing, screaming, trying to convince him he was wrong. Tidus found himself starting to cry too. Maybe he was wrong? Maybe he was afraid of going away again, hurting Yuna again and--
"Tidus," Yuna's calmly depressed voice cut through the air. "You're...you're sure?"
"I wish I wasn't. I wish I still loved you. I wish we could be together." He turned to look at Yuna and found her lying on the bed, crying silently. Tidus walked over, and sat down next to her, feeling like an idiot.
"I-I really loved you... the first person I ever loved." Yuna whispered like a scared little child.
Tidus layed down next to her, stroking one hand over her head as she cried into the pillows and sheets. He wished he would die, right there, and just disappear. Damn the Fayth...
"After today... I should leave," Tidus said before he even realized the words were out of his mouth. "I never wanted to hurt you, damn it, it was the last thing I ever wanted to do. The one thing I never imagined myself doing. I still can't believe it myself, but I don't feel the intimate love I felt for you before." The perfect male thing to say... his words were stupid, akward. Another reason he played blitzball, a non verbal profession.
"No," Yuna said, sitting up. "I don't want you to go. I want us to be friends, like when we first met. You're still my guardian, Tidus, I don't want to loose you completly."
Tidus stared at Yuna. She was, suprisingly, taking it well. He wondered if it was the Summoner training or if she was just being strong...for him. "All right then," Tidus tried to smile. "I'll always be your guardian, Yuna, and I will always, always, be your friend. That's one thing I promise never to stop being."
Yuna nodded and stood up. "I don't want everyone else to know," she looked at the floor. "Just... not yet."
He sat up, then got to his feet and grabbed a tissue from the side table, before heading for the door. He guessed Yuna wanted to be alone, because he wanted to be too. As he opened the door, he heard Yuna call from behind. "You're going to be here, right? You're not going to disappear on me again?"
"I promise, I won't." And he left her staring blankly at the floor.
It was the worst thing he'd done in his life, and he'd feel horrible about it until the day he died. It seemed almost stupid that his story had ended in trajedy. Maybe he was just bad luck....or bad luck in love.
He was able to sneak out past the others and wandered into the rain outside, sitting on the step as the rain plastered his hair to his forehead. Where had Rikku gone? Tidus shook his head, wondering why he'd even thought about Rikku at a time like that. He rubbed his hands together, and realized they were shaking, from the cold, or the tears...or both. Then, he realized the ring was missing. The championship ring he'd won at the tournament last year. He loved that thing.
Tidus stood up and wandered in circles around the street. While it could be anywhere, he hoped that it was outside the inn, because if it wasn't... well, it could be at the bottom of the ocean. "Perfect, just...perfect," he muttered to himself. The day had been horrible. Wasn't it suppose to be the greatest day of his life? He was alive... again. Taking charge of his life. It would probably be easier if he threw himself into the ocean with his ring.
The pavement was wet, but Tidus sat down anyway, looking more and more like a drowned rat. He needed to get his mind of this, or he'd depress himself into a point of no return. He stretched his hands out behind him when he brushed past something feathery. One of the feather's Rikku decorated her hair with. He stared at the orange feather in his hand, as the memories of the cheery girl rushed through his memory.
Saving him at the abandoned temple...
Diving for the ruins...
Finding her washed up on shore...
Watching her Home beinging destroyed...
Trying to find a way to save Yuna, together...
They'd been through a lot, together... The first person he'd shared a friendship with on this new world... Every memory was a good memory, every memory he cherished greatly.
It hit him like the fattest rain drop would him square on the forehead. Why he thought about her so much... why he trusted her... why he felt comfortable with her... why he had these feelings... perhaps... why he no longer felt anything for Yuna?
Wait... where had that come from? Tidus gripped the feather in his hand until he was sure it would come out disfigured and closed his eyes just as tightly. Did he...?
"Damn it," he muttered, though he really wasn't mad if his feelings were true.
"Having problems?" A smug voice in front of him.
Tidus was sure he already knew who it was, but opened his eyes just incase. He was right, the ghostly form of Auron stood in front of him, the half hidden eyes of his mentor mocking him. "Auron!"
The older man smirked. "Yeah, thought you might need some help."
"I don't even know if I need help! I don't know what's going on with me anymore. I'm so lost... so confused."
"That's what I'm here for, hmm?" The spirit took a few steps closer, looking at the feather in Tidus's hand. "You have feelings for Rikku, right? Just admit it Tidus, it'll be alot easier."
"No! It's not supose to be that easy. It's not supose to be this soon!"
"If you lie to yourself, it's just going to build up inside, and it won't help anyone in the end. Look into your heart." Auron nodded to him.
Tidus raised a brow. "You sure you're Auron? You don't sound much like him."
Auron chuckled. "Heh, being dead does wonders for my personality."
"Uh huh." Tidus rolled his eyes, and slowly opened his head, looking down at the distorted orange in his hand. He felt something, just looking at an object that belonged to her. Her. Rikku. His eyes shot up to Auron.
"I wish it had been this simple with Yuna..."
"She'll move on, Tidus. We all do. Looks like you are too." He walked past Tidus, so that they stood shoulder to shoulder but facing opposite directions. "She's headed to Guadosalam. The Farplane."
Tidus nodded and looked back at the inn. He would come back, he promised Yuna. There was just one thing he needed to do first. Never had his heart been flopped around so much, but he felt, for once that day, he was making the right decision.
He looked back to thank Auron, but the man was already gone, like Tidus should be. Tidus nodded to the air with a smile and headed at a run through the streets of Luca, confused as hell, and yet, more clear-headed then he'd ever felt before.
A/N: Whoa O_O. Okay so I made Tidus a little insensative...but, eh, he's a guy...uhm...*stops* I take that back, didn't mean to offend my male readers...hehe...hehe...heh... sorry Auron was out of character, for some reason I couldn't write his personality. I hope ya'll enjoyed Chapter Seven, and the entire story. I'm sure you can guess how it'll all end next chapter ;).
