John carried Matilda into the motel room right next to the one that she was staying in. It had been Dean's idea to get two rooms; John didn't ask why, he didn't want to hear his son say it, but he knew it was so Matilda could have some time with just Dean. The only time they got any really information out of her was when she was alone with Dean.
It broke John's heart that his daughter didn't believe that he loved her, especially since he knew that it was his own fault. He'd been overprotective of her forever, but he never took the time to bond with her. And he knew that he'd been an ass to her once in awhile when he'd had too much to drink. He was too ashamed to tell Dean about those times, where he criticized her for not being Mary's. The morning after, he would always hug her and tell her that he loved her, but he knew now that it wasn't enough.
John tucked Matilda into bed next to Dean and she immediately turned to hug Dean. John sat in a chair, turned on a lamp, and continued to read his newspaper. Someone had to be awake with her at all times, that was the new rule that they lived by, so even when she asked to lay with Dean, John continued his shift. Dean woke up for a moment or two, enough to see that Matilda was there and to hug her to him before he drifted back to sleep. That worried John a bit; at the beginning of all of this, Dean would wake up and talk to Matilda when she had these bad episodes with John. Lately, he was just too exhausted. John had been telling him from the start that he didn't have to get up, that Matilda just wanted to lay with him. Until a few days ago, Dean hadn't listened.
John grabbed the motel stationary and a pen, and started to work out a new 'schedule' for their shifts. They would have to start taking turns sleeping during the day, if they were going to be able to keep this up. John decided to give them each a solid eight hours off to sleep every day. He wasn't seeing any improvement in Matilda at all, and suspected that she wouldn't be ok to be alone for a long time. Dean had mentioned getting the knives and guns out of the motel, but John didn't think that it would be safe to leave them unable to defend themselves.
Two more hours passed before Dean's alarm went off. John jumped up to turn it off.
"What's wrong," Dean mumbled, seeing how quickly John reacted.
"She's asleep," John whispered, "You're gonna have to stay in bed with her. You ok to stay awake?"
"Yes sir," Dean whispered.
It was strange, how such little things had become so important to them. If Matilda was actually sleeping for more than thirty minutes at a time, which only happened maybe every three days, everything else stopped. The most important thing was to make sure that Matilda got a good night's rest. The same was true for getting Matilda to eat. When they found a food that she liked, John would pick up the same food from the same diner for breakfast, lunch, and dinner until she got tired of it. Once she got tired of it, she refused to eat again for a while, so John got as many calories into her as he could when she was willing to eat.
