Where would I be
If this were to go under?
It's a risk I'd take
So now I'm froze by desire
As if it's a choice I'd make
…
"So, what's really wrong with Eden?" Matt asked, for what felt like the millionth time, staring at the TV screen as his fingers flew about the game controller.
Eden spent a lot of time holed up in Mello's room since the shooting at headquarters, praying mostly, but sometimes staring out the window. She cooked for the three of them, but never ate much, and had taken to being silent during conversations unless she was addressed personally. Her showers were long, as she often got lost in her thoughts, and she put no effort into her appearance other than wearing some combination of clean clothes. It had been going on like this for a week since the shooting.
Mello sighed, "It's natural" he stated in response to Matt.
Matt glanced at him momentarily, his face filled with confusion. "What? She's on her period?" the redhead asked.
"No, you moron" Mello said with an eye roll. "She's going through the same thing I did"
"So, your both on your periods?" Matt asked, grinning as Mello gave him a sharp glare.
Mello propped his long legs up on the coffee table before unwrapping his chocolate bar. "She's contemplating her soul. I know you don't care much about religion, but that's an important thing to most of us"
Matt was silent for a few seconds as his brain thrummed. "Wait, so, she can have sex for money just fine but she can't shoot a dude without going to hell?" he asked. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't adultery a sin?"
"I don't know how she works it out. As far as I'm concerned, that shit's between her and god. Just like my soul's between me and god" Mello stated.
The redhead raised an eyebrow, "Do you mean literally, or figuratively?" he questioned.
Mello let out another exasperated sigh. "Look, just don't think too hard about it. I don't want to clean it up when your head explodes" he said sarcastically.
"Oh man!" Matt said with a grin, "Listen to you! You've got jokes! Damn, didn't know you had it in you with that stick jammed so far up your-"
"What are you playing?" Eden asked, making both of the men occupying the couch jump.
"Jesus!" Matt exclaimed, starting at her sudden appearance. "Don't sneak up like that"
Mello slid his boots off the table, striding over to the girl enveloped in his comforter. "Hungry?" he asked, beginning to unwrap her from the tangle of blankets.
Eden gave him a small smile, "Psychic, huh?" she asked rhetorically with a chuckle. "Lemme go shower and we'll eat"
"Hey I washed your new clothes, they're in the hall closet" Matt yelled towards the girl disappearing down the hall.
Eden emerged only a short while later in a simple ensemble of a dark green v-neck and fitted navy-blue jeans. A small smile was etched on her face, which made both of the men raise their collective eyebrows. "Matt, Thank you so much for the clothes, I can't say how much…" she trailed off, her voice watery as she hastily held a hand to her mouth before clearing her throat. "I really appreciate it" she finished, the hints of her earlier emotion now gone.
Matt was blushing, his eyes determinedly glued to the TV screen in front of him. "I'm glad you like them. You were kinda vague on your list, so I was afraid what I got would be too plain" he said.
Ignoring Mello's emotionless stare directed to her, Eden crossed the room and sat between the two men on the couch in order to give Matt a side-hug. "No, they're perfect. I haven't worn pants in years, you have no idea how fantastic this is" she said.
The redhead paid no to attention to her affection, his eyes remaining firmly planted on the violence occurring in the video game. "If you wanted pants, why didn't you just go buy some? Their aren't any laws on that, you know" he said teasingly.
Eden's body seemed to tense for a moment, and she released Matt in order to sit back properly on the couch. "Argent has a dress code. Besides, she took all of my wages, if I wanted something like that I had to ask a client. And the last thing they wanted to see me in was pants" she said airily, as if trying to detach herself from the memory.
"What a fantastic story," Mello stated dryly. "But someone has a flight in two hours and has yet to pack his shit" The sour statement was obviously for the redhead.
Matt rolled his eyes at the TV screen before pausing his game and standing up, "Jesus, Mello, by all means don't get all teddy bear on us" he muttered before leaving the room, the blonde sending a glare after him.
They sat in silence on the couch, Eden unsure of what to say since he was obviously in one of his moods for some unknown reason. "Um, so" she began, clearing her throat. "Now that we're alone, I have something I've been wanting to ask you…"
Mello said nothing, only giving her an unreadable stare that she took as a sign to continue.
"Right" Eden said awkwardly, her hands clammy from nervousness. "It might not be my place to ask, but I think I have some right to know. Did… Did you kill Donovan?"
He let out a snort somewhere between general amusement at her naivety and downright condescending annoyance. "You're not that dim. I figured you concluded the truth" Mello stated. "You knew I was never full of kittens and rainbows. Your boyfriend got what was coming to him"
The hot rush of anger and embarrassment was instant, as well as the underlying shame that painted her cheeks a bright red. "Boyfriend? Really, Mello? Is that what you think? God dammit, why do you always have to be so…" she trailed off, her mind too clouded with anger to think of a proper insult.
"So what?" Mello asked, his own annoyance quickly morphing into anger. "Fucking honest? For fuck's sake, you act like you aren't a tramp"
"You always have to be such a fucking prick! One minute you're yelling at me, and the next you make me feel like…" Eden trailed off, her eyes watering. Her teary state immediately embarrassed her, and she stood up from the couch and turned her back on him hurriedly. "You know what sucks, though?" she asked evenly, haven given herself enough time to calm down slightly. "You're still the nicest guy I've ever met" she said with a bitter laugh, despising how sad the words sounded out loud.
Something in him softened, all at once he wanted to hold her and yell at her at the same time. This is unbearable, he thought, this constant jealously. I hate those men, every single fucking piece of shit that's ever touched her. I hate when people look at her. I hate when she's happy with anyone else. I hate that she talks about Argent's house. I hate what she's done. Who she's done. I fucking hate her for making me feel like this. Mello thinks all these things, but at the same time he says nothing; staying firmly planted on the couch.
"Do you really think I wanted it? Sleeping with those men?" Eden asked quietly, collapsing in on herself. "Mrs. Argent found me when I was fifteen. I was homeless in a strange city, starving, and cowering from the police" She paused unnaturally long before turning to look at him; directly in the eye. "Do you know how scared I was? I didn't have a choice. I made the best of my situation, it wasn't a good life, but it was enough. Until you… You just waltzed into it and tore everything apart. And now you still have the nerve to treat me like a whore? Well fuck you, Mello"
He gritted his teeth, rage boiling behind his eyelids as he thought about the innocent young girl Eden once was. The girl he never knew. "Bullshit," he said, walking towards her in an angry huff. "Don't blame me because you're ashamed of the filth you've fucked"
Eden momentarily recoiled from his words, her mouth agape. "I survived! I made a living for myself! And I'll never be ashamed of escaping from my old life!" she shouted angrily, shoving him harshly as she did so. "The only filth I'm ashamed of is you!"
"Then why don't you just go find some other dick to give you shelter, huh?" He yelled back, trapping her forearms in an iron grip as she attempted to shove him yet again. "If you don't want to be here, then go! No one's stopping you! I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding another sap like Donovan you can give your cunt to!"
It was enough to send her into tears, horrible sobs that wracked her entire frame. "Y-you're right," she blubbered through tears, "I don't know what I'm even doing here anymore. M-maybe I'll find someone who'll actually want me" Eden was finally able to break away from Mello as his hands went slack at her words. She slammed her back against the wall behind her in her hurry to get away from him, but it was only moments until she was out the apartment door.
"Fuck!" Mello roared in the ensuing silence, punching the nearby wall hard enough that his knuckles welled up with blood. "Matt get the fuck out here, we have to go! NOW!"
…
The minute Eden stepped out onto the street (barefoot, no less), she regretted the argument. He had no fucking right to speak to me that way, but everything happened so fast… Eden thought, He helped me, and I thought… Up until now, I thought he actually cared about me. I guess he just finally realized that I'm more trouble than I'm really worth.
She had no idea where to go, but Eden knew it would be best to get out of the street before one of Argent's contacts spotted her-she was likely still wanted, after all. The only problem being that, no matter what shop she ducked into, the employees evicted her on the grounds of 'no shirt, no shoes, no service'. It probably didn't help that she had tearstains down her cheeks.
It was on a sidewalk that she literally ran into the blonde, momentarily sending them both to the pavement when they collided. "Augh, god dammit" the platinum-blonde cursed, hissing from the pain of a re-opened wound. The groceries she had been carrying were piled around her, scattering across the pavement.
"Heaven" Eden said quietly, crouching on the sidewalk as she took in the state of her friend. Mrs. Argent never damaged the selling points of her merchandise, but it was well known that the older woman despised Heaven, and the heavy bruises on her face were clear truth of the fact. Heaven had a large swollen black eye, with cuts around her the socket as telltale marks from Mrs. Argent's rings. Her jaw and neck were also bruised, indicative of more abuse, although Eden couldn't see the rest of where Heaven was probably beaten since she wore large oversized clothes.
Heaven locked eyes with her in surprise, "Eden" she stated, her voice full of unexpected anger. "Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea what she's done to us because of you?"
Eden balked in shock, only capable of staring dumbfounded at her friend.
"She thought we planned it. She thinks we were trying to take her down somehow, get the house revealed to the cops. She's been beating us day and night in order to get us to talk" Heaven said, her eyes furious as her voice shook with pure hatred. "I thought we meant much more to you, but you left us behind without another thought, didn't you?"
"I thought about going to the cops, after what she's done to me," Eden said truthfully, remembering the scars on her back as well as her years enslaved in Argent's house. "And you have to believe me when I say that I wish more than anything that place is shut down, but the police-"
"When she had me raped, I thought it was the worst pain I've ever been through, but you've exceeded that" Heaven glared at her, tears welling up in her eyes. "I thought you were my friend, you selfish bitch"
"Heaven, I'm sorry-" Eden was almost immediately cut off.
"Shut up," the blonde said, a hand clamped around Eden's forearm as she dragged the other woman to her feet. "I don't care what you say, you're coming back with me"
"No! Wait!" Eden nearly screamed in sudden fear, attracting attention from many of the passerby on the sidewalk. "We can get away, you can run away with me. We'll be free together, Heaven, please!" she pleaded.
Heaven wheeled around violently to face her. "And go where? With what money?" she asked, "And, tell me, who will protect us, huh?"
The thought of Mello flashed through Eden's mind only briefly before she pushed away the image, "We can protect each other. Heaven, please, I'm so sorry that I left you; but you can't take me back there. She'll kill me"
"You know, Eden," Heaven said emotionlessly. "Maybe I would care if you didn't break my heart. I loved you. You were the only thing keeping me alive in that place, and you left me without so much as a blink"
"It wasn't my choice!" Eden exclaimed, beginning to panic at the thought of returning to Argent. "It happened so fast, and then-"
"And then there wasn't any more time for whores like me?" Heaven interrupted bitterly.
Eden shook her head sorrowfully, backing away from Heaven despite of her hold on Eden's wrist, "I can't go back" she repeated, turning to run into the busy LA traffic as she did so.
…
Matt missed his first flight, and then his second, by the time they finally found Eden. It was more of happenstance then it was actual results yielded by their search, as the two of them had encountered the last dregs of the traffic accident just as they were heading towards main street to continue looking for her. Matt had pulled the mustang past the officers slowly, and Mello had thought to ask what happened. Two young women broadsided by traffic; both rushed to the city hospital.
The only reason it clicked was the gold cross shimmering on the black pavement. Matt almost thought Mello was going to tear the car apart before they reached the ER wing; and It took all Mello's self control not to pull a gun on the desk clerk when she took an eternity to find 'Jane Doe's room, but when she did, the two ran up all three flights of stairs.
"Mello" Eden said, clearly shocked when she saw the two standing in the hallway, her words slightly muffled by her oxygen mask.
The doctor holding her chart immediately shook his head at the two, "I'm sorry, but unless you're family you can't be in here" he stated.
Matt, apparently being the only one with working brain function at the moment, spoke up. "We're her brothers" he supplied.
"Oh, well then perhaps you can assist me in filling in her personal information, she's refusing to tell us her name. We need to treat her, but-" the doctor was cut off.
"How badly is she hurt, treat her for what?" Mello asked rapidly, glaring threateningly at the man in order to assure the next words from his mouth would be the truth.
The doctor cleared his throat, "It's nothing major, just a small fracture in her arm, but we were holding off treatment until we could find out more about any possible allergies she has. Do either of you know any relevant medical history that we could use?" he asked.
"Matt, take care of it" Mello demanded, rather than asking his friend.
"Well, as long as Eden's alright I guess-"
"Good" Mello supplied, cutting off the redhead and nearly forcing the two other men out of the room with his resulting glare.
As soon as the door shut behind them, Eden spoke, "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you wanted me gone" she said.
"I never said I wanted you dead" he stated. "I can't believe you really ran into traffic, you fucking moron. Never-"
"Look, if you just came here to lecture me, I'll tell the doc who you really are and make you leave" Eden rebutted. "I get it. I haven't forgotten what you said, I won't bother you anymore as long as you stop coming around. I have more of my own problems to sort out if you're done here"
He approached her, "You didn't let me finish" Mello said, sitting on one side of her bed. "Never make me worry about you" he ordered and leaned over her, placing one hand on the wall in order to prevent himself from kissing her altogether.
Eden stared blankly at him for a few seconds before she spoke, her chest constricting and heartbeat throbbing in the aftermath of his words. "What the hell are you talking about?" she finally asked, her head dizzy with confusion and the premonition that something important was still to come.
Mello said nothing as he slipped off her oxygen mask, only leaned further over her in the bed; their lips inches from each other. He only briefly hesitated in his actions, staring into the eyes of the woman trapped under him. If I continue with this, what would happen? If I kiss her… If I touch her… I'll have to admit what I'm doing, Mello thought, I won't be paying for it anymore. He removed one hand from the wall slowly, his eyes following his fingers as his hand came to rest on her hip. Shaking. His hands were shaking with the weighted air between him and Eden. He was somehow so suddenly nervous about touching her, his actions unsure of themselves. Will she stop me? Mello'd never considered her thoughts on the matter, Why is she going along with this? He thought in confusion, Does she really want me? Finally, he lifted his eyes to hers again, his hand still resting softly on her hip.
She could sense some confusion about him, the way Mello moved now was so different then he had in the past. For some reason, what they were doing felt new and raw-a change had fallen over the two of them, and they were acting like two blushing virgins. It was unexplainable in and of itself, but also strange in the way it seemed to bring about a different feeling winding through her. The butterflies that had lately began to appear in her stomach when she looked at Mello also made her throat dry and her breath hitch. Just from the way he looked at her, the way the air felt between them, the agonizing closeness of him… such simple things made her head swim. "Will you kiss me?" Eden asked quietly in an uneven whisper.
Something unfamiliar stirred in him, if only for a second; a quiver of his heartbeat outside of it's normal rhythm. It was mystifying to see Eden the way she was now, so small and delicate. It reminded him of her sobbing on the bathroom floor, significantly less heart-wrenching than now, but still so vulnerable. It scared him, another person exposing themselves to him so openly. Who am I to deserve this? Why does she… Why does she want me? Mello questioned himself with a furrowed brow, staring into the beautiful face below him.
Her heart was racing faster the longer time drew on without response from Mello. He's having doubts, Eden thought rapidly, I'm being stupid to assume that he wants… It's idiotic to think that he wants me when I'm nothing but trouble for him. Am I really just some stupid slut for needing him like this? It's not like I'm begging him for sex, and it's not like I'm going after anyone else, it isn't about that… I just… I want to be closer… I want to feel something real for once. I want sex to mean something other than a wad of money. Does that make me stupid? Eden closed her eyes to her painful thoughts, wincing at herself as she prepared to push away from Mello and save him the embarrassment of explaining that she held no appeal for him. Maybe, if she was lucky, he'd let her stay anyway; after all, he seemed to take a liking to the stray anyway.
He caught her unaware as her eyes closed, his lips sparking a rush of sensations through her body that immediately produced a soft "Mmm" from her in return to the surprise. Eden felt waves of emotions crash through her as Mello intensified the kiss, her reactions beginning with happiness and ending with need. Not lust, not want, need. She needed to have him against her, she needed his hands coveting her body, she needed his affections and attention. Eden needed him. She needed him more than anything she'd ever felt before.
Suddenly, their kiss stopped and one of Mello's hands gripped her chin during her resulting daze, directing her hazy eyes to his. It was a harsh gesture, but the way he preformed it was gentle if not erotically possessive. "You're mine now" Mello said, his voice sharp and demanding.
Numbed by the feelings coursing through her, Eden nodded slowly in confirmation as if in a trance.
"No," Mello stated. "I want to hear you say it"
Something about the words sent a shiver down her spine, and Eden unconsciously licked her lips in anticipation of the blonde's own against hers. "I…" She tailed off before hazily bringing her eyes up from his distracting mouth to his even more mesmerizing eyes. "I'm yours" Eden finished.
She barely had time to stumble over the words before Mello was yanking her into a fiery kiss, his hand on her cheek holding her in place against him somehow made her squirm with desire at the same time. His tongue was suddenly in her mouth, and his free hand at her hip pulling her on top of him.
Eden had ever felt so sure of any other choice she'd made in her life.
…
Outside of the hospital room, Matt and the doctor were standing by the nurse's station in uncomfortable silence. Well, not exactly, since the sounds coming from Eden's room were loud enough to capture the attention of any employees and patients within radius of the reverberating sex noises.
"Uh," Matt began awkwardly, "Well, you see, by saying; 'we're her brothers', I really meant that we're her… friends…"
An exceptionally loud moan echoed through the hall.
"Um, some of us very good friends" he added.
…
I am yours now
So I don't ever have to leave
I've been found out
I am yours now
I am yours now
