Author's Note: Hey, hey, hey! I'm Eeeeemma Harness! (Okay, if you don't get that reference, you live in a cave) And no, I never technically saw the show, but I know that stupid, stupid catchphrase.

By the by, I apologize sincerely for not updating sooner, but for some reason my computer at home will not let me submit docs to my docs folder on Fanfiction. Therefore, I had to postpone my update for about a week until I could get back to school after Easter break. I use the computers during Graphic Design class, so they should work just fine.

Commence ze responses:

SqueegeeSlayer9001: I don't believe words can describe how elated I am to read your reviews. You...actually...recognized...the ALPHA AND OMEGA REFERENCE?! Holy cow, I never expected somebody to get it! But you did! Congratulations, good Fanrat. Cun-gra-jew-lay-SHUN! It's especially awesome to hear that I'm an inspiration to you, because hey, your reviews are inspiring me! It's a win-win! As promised, I'll check out your stories, 'cause you're so sweet! ^^

Hi: Well, hello there! Here's your update!

PrincessOfAtlantis101: Thank you! It warms my heart to hear that!

travellerofadifferentpath: I know, right? The sheer embarrassment and humiliation of said ordeal must be astounding! Thank the Lord they don't have consummations in AMERICA! (At least, none that are public)... I certainly won't be doing that any time soon. Well, at least not until I'm married.

MHJohn64th: Yeah, Astrid and Hiccup eventually went through with it. I doubt Stoick and Helga would let those kids get away with any more than they already have. Oh, and FINALLY, someone's main concern is the child! 'Bout time, folks... And speaking of Helga, there's a lot of her in this chapter, so be very afraid. And Snotlout, man. That kid's got a real issue and now that Hiccup's rejected him, he'll become even more aloof than ever. Ps: You read the ENTIRE Bible during Holy Week? Well, dang! Kudos to you, dude! That's something I need to do more often!

Httydisbae: I'm actually writing the chapters one at a time, as I go along. I have the hindsight as to what the climax is, but yah. *chuckles nervously* Yeah, I'm typing them as I go along.

Haley: you're going to die without this story. Uh, hey! NO PRESSURE EMMA! O.O

Guest One: I'm counting up the votes and I believe that that's the way it's going to be. Be very afraid.

Guest Two: No, Gobber isn't exactly the spying type, but hey, if it gives people a laugh, then I'm all for it.

Guest Three: Hey, these thing take TIME, dude, TIME! Especially if you're typing with your dead thumbs at a track meet.

HugsandBugsSmileyFace: I most certainly did find the inspiration I was looking for. And yes, my parents would freak. Though, to be fair, this isn't the weirdest story I've ever written. (Don't read "Insane Glint) And you're coming to 'merica? Huzzah! Have an awesome time! Ps: I feel so honored to be in comparison to an adult writer when in reality, I just turned sixteen!

Guest Four: Three words for YOU: Thankyou so much!

*Checks wording* ...I know.

FluentFletcher2: Well, if I've converted you into a Hiccstrid fan, then I've done my job. Peace out, and thank you for the corrections!

SharKohen: Yeah, Snotlout's mistake is costing him dearly. :( Hopefully, he'll do the right thing at one point or another.

Guest Five: Don't get your hopes up. I have a habit of having a dark side to my stories.

A Person Who Likes Comedy: Thank you so much, Comedy! I'll be sure to update? Soon? Meh.

G: Thanks dude!

Noname: HUZZAH! YOU'VE SPOTTED THE REFERENCE!

PuppeteerOllie: Why thank you! Me too. I love bonding.

AfricaWebb13: Whelp, here you go! Hope you enjoy. :D

Checkingdude: Aw bro, that must have been insanely difficult. Stay strong Fanrat: For JESUS!

Guest Six: You're right. It would have made a fantastic cliffhanger, but I'm not that cruel to my readers... Or am I? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The death bringer779: Yeah, me neither. XD

Chancey74: Haha! Oh dude, you made my day with that one!

Tigerlily the Wild: It's not, but I'll let it slide.

Hopelessromantic4life: Got any dating advice for Hiccup and Astrid? I'll put it to good use. *smirk*

AND SPEAKING OF WHICH!

I've counted up the votes, and well...you guys won. :) Stormless it is.

Chapter Seven: Mishap by Converse

After a rather...incidental night, Hiccup was determined to prepare himself for any surprise that would dare make itself known. However, the last thing that the young Viking expected to see when he first made his way down the wooden stairs was his father, facedown on the frosted floorboards, snoring. His clothes were disheveled, his beard unbraided and unmanageable. Quite a sight to say the least.

Astrid raised her platinum eyebrows at the peculiar sight and sent a questioning glance to her partner, who shrugged innocently. "Dah-I...have no idea either," he said sheepishly, admittedly not used to finding his father in a limp, drowsy heap. It was quite a sight, and his cheeks flushed warmly. "Trust me, this is not a natural occurrence."

"Do I even want to know?" The girl asked in incredulity and stepped over to the unconscious vast man's side with a scoff, lightly tapping him with her boot. His helmet was descending over his eyes, mouth open with a bit of drool trickling out. "Um, I'm smelling ale." She tapped him again, using a bit more vigor. He didn't stir. Instead, a long, drawn-out snore escaped him, causing the two to cringe in disgust. It was incredibly strange for Astrid, who was so used to picturing her chief in a more...eloquent image.

Hiccup rolled his emerald eyes and laid a hand on her armored shoulder. "Leave him," he advised, more for his father's sake than his. "He probably wanted to drown out the noise from last night." Astrid blushed at the notion. "Remember when he yelled at us? I have a feeling we're going to have a discussion about that with him."

Astrid sighed and made her way for the door, taking a glance over her shoulder one last time. "Can't say I blame him," she admitted informally and opened the door, which endorsed a blast of cold wind to chill her entire body in a matter of seconds.

"S-Sweet Freya!" She gasped, surveying the landscape before her wide, azure eyes. Her warm breath had effectively evaporated in the freezing air. "T-There h-had to be a storm last night." She affirmed nervously, her mind trying to wrap around the ferocity of the upcoming Devastating Winter. She examined the nearly frozen over landscape, overcome with a blanket of snow. "Because the snow is literally up to my knees."

"Really?" Hiccup's mind flashed back to last night, the first one he had spent curled up in his partner's arms. Funny enough, he had no recollection of a storm. "Oh, perfect. My leg'll probably freeze off." He approached her side and shivered, wrapping his lanky arms around his waist. "Y-Yeah, I'm getting m-my helmet for this," he chattered, darting back inside to retrieve the headpiece. Once he returned, the breast-plated helmet safely placed upon his head, he nodded. "Okay, l-let's do this."

As Hiccup and Astrid made their way to the Great Hall in the midst of winter, the fourteen-year-old Viking wondered to himself if he should've made a run for it, and if Astrid were to notice.

Sure, it would be impolite to do so, since Astrid averred that they should go. But, it would be quite the feat, since he was literally knee-deep in the fresh snow that had fallen during the night. But what else could he do? Actually pluck up the courage and have a little chat with her mother? The father, he did not mind, but Helga? Talking to her was like having a conversation with an incoherent Mildew: impossible and slightly, no, incredibly horrendous.

But even the thoughts of Helga were instantly squandered by the sheer amount of coldness that the couple was forced to endure.

Every step through the snow was a tremendous effort, and Hiccup began to worry for his partner, who was already struggling. If it were hard enough for him, whilst he literally had to yank his boot, and now frozen prosthetic foot out of the snow with each step, how was she holding up? And with a pregnant stomach no less?

"W-Wonderful weather we're having, h-huh?" Hiccup remarked sarcastically through his chattering teeth as the snow began to absorb into the fibers of his single boot. "I kinda regret leaving behind dad's ceremonial cape." He admitted with a combined grunt and shiver as he continued his trek. "S-Sure, it may have weighed over s-seven S-Snotlouts and several yaks, but it kept me w-warm."

"S-Sure," Astrid shivered offhandedly, wrapping her arms around her waist as best she could. "A-At least you have a fur vest and n-not to mention: long sleeves," she pointed out. "All I've got is this stupid-wait, huh?" Hiccup had approached her from behind and draped his fuzzy vest over her shoulders, shielding them from the biting air.

Though flattered, she gave him a questioning look. "What?" The auburn-haired boy asked with a shy smile, "Least I-I could do is keep you toasty, r-right?" Astrid laughed and slugged his already bruised shoulder.

"T-Thanks, Dragon boy," she teased as he tenderly rubbed his scrawny shoulder. Speaking of dragons... "You know, I j-just realized that Toothless c-coulda flown us to the Great Hall."

Hiccup froze (pun very much intended) and looked back to the house, where Toothless was oddly absent. "Huh... Well, that would be nice, if he were present." He shook his head, wondering where his reptilian friend had gone off. The abundance of snow worried him just a bit, but he assumed that Toothless had huddled with the other dragons. He shrugged it off and returned his attention back to his aching shoulder.

"I'm going to have a permanent bruise there," Hiccup complained, annoyance overshadowing his recent emotion. "Seriously, it showed uhhh-AAAH!" As he took another step, his prosthetic foot caught on a buried root or twig and he went sprawling face-first into the snow, earning a real guffaw from his partner.

Upon hearing her laughter, the boy huffed; feeling the cold seep into his veins and stole whatever dignity he had left. "Noph. Phonny." Came Hiccup's annoyed, snow-muffled reply.

"Heh, heh! Okay, okay, sorry." Astrid apologized as Hiccup made a futile little twitch, which she assumed was his attempt to lift himself up. She rolled her azure eyes through her laughing fit and yanked him up by the tunic with a single arm. When he sprung back up, his whole front side was coated in a fresh white powder, making him resemble a human snow creature. It was a comical look, and Astrid burst out laughing once more, nearly doubling over.

Hiccup shook his head, flinging ice crystals in all directions, flakes hitting her in the process. "Well, it's good to know that people still laugh at my expense," he quipped smoothly as he brushed the snow out of his face, though Astrid could hear the amusement in his voice.

With a sigh, he bent down to retrieve his helmet, but forgot to shake the snow out before he placed it on his head once more. He shrieked at the sudden realization as the snowflakes fell around his head like a halo, earning yet another laugh from Astrid.

Though annoyed, and now freezing beyond belief, he asked sarcastically, "W-What do y-you think?" He spread out his arms and made a full 180° turn. "Is-Is it enough to imp-press y-your parents?"

Astrid played along and rubbed her chin, pretending to be thoughtfully skeptical. "W-Who knows? My parents m-might be fans of the whole..."s-snow-demolished" look." She smiled pityingly as her partner began to shiver and heaved forward, brushing the snow off of his appendages while he brushed the stuff off of his trousers and tunic. "Here, ya got some right..." She smirked and flicked the last bit of powder off his nose, causing him to blush heatedly. "Man, I think your sarcasm is starting to rub off on me!" She realized with mock horror, tightly hugging his furry vest to her body.

A gust of wind shrouded the two, drawing them out of their warm subconscious. "W-W-Well, without the least b-bit of sarcasm," Hiccup shivered as he brushed away the last of the snow off of his tunic, "I'm freezing. Shall we go?"

"Agr-Agreed," Astrid chattered as they once again continued their journey.

As if trekking through the winter barrage of snow was difficult enough, ascending the icy steps to get to the Great Hall was a downright hardship. With Hiccup's nearly frozen prosthetic foot, it was nearly impossible for him to track friction, which caused him to dangerously slip on numerous occasions. But with a lot of time and effort, the couple finally entered the Great Hall, red-faced, panting, and shivering.

To them, it was quite a feat, and Astrid pumped her raw, red fists in the air. "YES!" She cried out weakly, gaining the attention of several other Vikings before bending over to catch her breath.

"Astrid?" Called the soft-spoken voice of a familiar face. It was Egil, her father. "There ye ah! Come, come lass! Out of th' cold!"

The girl's head snapped up and she caught sight of her parents, who were sitting at a table near the fire. They had not yet gotten their food, since the mead-workers were busy rationing.

"Oh, h-hi Dad! Hey Mom!" Astrid sought them out in the small crowd and greeted them with a casual wave, while Hiccup gave a weak gesture of acquaintance. "C-C'mon, Hiccup. Let's go warm up before I go numb," she shivered, brushing some of the slush off of her armored skirt.

"Dah...D-Don't worry, I'm-I'm coming," the boy laughed weakly, noticing that as soon as Helga spotted him trailing behind Astrid, her smile dropped from her face. He tried to dismiss the facial action of rejection and tried to warm his frozen digits, which had gone numb at that point.

Soon, the two (and one former) Hoffersons were seated at the wooden table near the glowing fire, the heat thawing out the littler bodies. And though everyone about them was all hustle and bustle, the united family members were incongruously discreet. How did one pick up from a night as awkward as the one before?

Hiccup bit his bottom lip as he stood stiffly and gently traced the wood patterns of the table, doing his best to avert his gaze from Helga's.

"How are ye, lass?" Egil asked with a warm smile, covering Astrid's thawing hands with one of his own. "Holdin' up alright?"

Astrid smirked. "In this weather? Pfft. Well enough. Just give me a week and I'll turn into a snow dragon in no time."

"So what brings ye here?"

Astrid smiled and let out a long exhale before she finally said, "Hiccup and I were-were talking, and we realized that he's never had a true word with either of you before, and I just wanted to check u-Hiccup?"

It had taken a good while before she realized that her partner was still standing, obviously making a last second attempt to escape the situation. Her eyes narrowed and she sighed sharply.

"Can ya sit down?" She asked through gritted teeth in slight exasperation. If she was going to suffer, so was he! Hiccup conformed and sat with obvious caution. He then removed his helmet in respect and placed it in his lap. Egil delivered the young boy a smile of empathy.

"Anyway," Astrid continued, turning back to her parents as if nothing had transpired. "I was talking to Hiccup last night, and it came about that he never actually met you guys before." She paused and checked her wording. "I mean, at least he's never talked to you personally." Hiccup gulped, thinking of the many reasons why that was so.

The girl's father perked at the notion. "A-Ah believe yer right!" He established softly, smiling fondly at the younger Viking, who gave a small, grateful one in return. "Pleased t' FORMALLY meet ye, Hiccup Haddock, heir and pride of Berk." Hiccup blushed in gratification.

At that point, he should have been used to constant praise and titles he'd been addressed with, but he was bashful nonetheless, especially if it was coming from his father-in-law.

"Ah, thank you," the auburn-haired boy politely replied. "It's-It's a pleasure to meet you too, Sir Hofferson." He began to relax a little. Egil was harmless, nothing to be feared of. The man was soft-spoken; oddly foil to his mountain of a body that one would assume would house a deafening bellow.

Egil waved his large hand flippantly and chuckled. "Oh, there won't be any of thes "Sir Hofferson" formality," he assured the boy with a kind smile. "Ye may call me by me first name: Egil. Eeg, for short."

Eeg? EEG?! It was difficult to tell, but Hiccup was sure that Helga made a noise that sounded extremely like a snort. "Oh... Okay," he nodded with uncertainty, cursing himself for making the situation awkward. "Sure, I can work with...Egil. Sir."

And then out of nowhere, Helga, who hadn't spoken a word since her daughter and her husband arrived, bombarded Hiccup with the following question, "Ye taking care of mah daughter?"

Hiccup arose from his bowed stance and made an attempt to appear self-assured. "Y-Yes ma'am," he stuttered, his nasally voice embarrassingly going a few octaves higher, due to his anxiety. "Sh-She's in good hands."

Astrid lowered her head so her smirk could be hidden. "See, Mom?" she assured the woman. Poor Hiccup. He sounded so flustered and frazzled around her dominating senior. "Trust me, you've got nothing to worry about. Besides," she grinned, making a fist, "I can always take care of myself."

Egil chuckled good-naturedly and smiled kindly at Hiccup. "Ye picked a mighty good lass, son. Strong-headed and sure, she is. 'Course, the women of our clan has never needed much protection." He made a sideways glance to his wife, who was currently picking at her teeth with a carving knife, and winced.

It was Astrid who first noticed the empty tabletop and shakily arose with a brisk announcement, "I'll get the pork!" She gave her father a nod of excuse and started for the line at the back.

But before she could even take two steps away from the table, Hiccup grabbed her wrist out of panic. Helga watched stiffly, knowing full well that she was the cause of his anxiety.

"Are-Are you sure you...? Would you like me to do it for you?" Hiccup suggested quickly and took another glance at Helga. She pursed her lips and bent her metal fork with a single thumb. Hiccup gulped audibly. "O-Or perhaps I could come with you and help?"

The girl snorted, under the impression that he was insulting her independence, and withdrew her hand. "Thanks, but I've got it under control. Don't forget, I'm a warrior."

Astrid would never admit to Hiccup for the time being, but she found almost annoying how people would offer to wait on her. She took it the wrong way assuming that they thought she was weak and she couldn't handle herself. It was a stomp on her mark of a warrior.

Almost as if on cue, Egil stood. "Warrior or not, a helping hand is always welcomed. Ah'll help ye carry the plates back," he insisted. "Helga and Hiccup can spend some quality time together whilst we do so."

Astrid took one look at her thundercloud of a mother and the trembling mess that was her husband, and began to object. "Oh. But, maybe you could stay with-?"

"Et's no trouble, lass," Helga dismissed firmly. "Ye go on now and fetch us some breakfast." She moved her gaze to the shaking emerald eyes before her and lowered her voice to an almost sinister tone. "He and ah shall chat."

Astrid gazed into the pleading eyes of her partner and let a small sigh escape, forcing a smile onto her face. "She's...She's right. You guys should chat. I'll get you guys some fruit too. Berries. Heh. Special treat." And with that said and done, she and Egil left Helga and Hiccup alone.

Expecting there to be a long, awkward silence of hateful stares, Hiccup nearly jumped when Helga spoke up right away. And it was even more unexpected by what she said. "Ah knew yer mother," were the first words out of her mouth.

The young male stiffened in surprise. That was certainly unexpected. He was looking to hear a long harangue about how to treat Astrid with dignity along with an abundance of threats. So why bring up his mother? He pondered over it for a second, and then brightened at a theory that came to mind. Perhaps she was mentioning his mother in order to gain his trust. For instance, if she had a connection with Valka in her younger days, maybe that would break some walls between she and the son. Maybe...

However, why this particular focus? Well, he wasn't exactly touchy on the subject matter of his mother, not like how Astrid was with her uncle Finn, but it was still a sensitive topic. "Y-You did?" He was surprised at this unexpected information to come from someone as hostile as Helga, and even more surprised that Valka was what she wanted to discuss.

The hefty woman nodded once, her gaze sharp and intimidating. "Aye," she confirmed, taking a moment to examine her nails. "Ah knew Valka since we were wee lasses. Small thing, she was. Boney, like ye." Hiccup nodded slowly, a tiny frown prodding his complexion as he glanced down at his small wrist, unsure how to retort. Alright, not the best of starts, but at least she wasn't scowling.

"Uh-huhhh…." With the intention of brightening the mood, he put on a toothy grin. "Were-Were you friends with her?" He asked hopefully.

To his utter disappointment, Helga's eyes narrowed as if he had said something positively revolting. Ah, there was that scowl of disgust he adored so much. Timing. "Valhalla, no!" She exclaimed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. All of the male's reassurance was instantly evaporated and his stomach began to churn.

Noting the lad's confused expression, she explained, "Ah was never allowed to surround myself with her sort. Ye have to understand," she added as Hiccup stared glumly at the tabletop, his fingers tracing the etches of wood, "Yer dear mother's opinions weren't exactly accepted in the lives of Vikings back in those days. See, she felt it were wrong to bring harm to the dragons. Kept...getting in the way of raids...Unsetting traps...Hiding weapons..."

This was new. This was VERY new. Hiccup felt his heart stop and his hands stiffened. Why was this news? Why was this NEWS?! With an audible intake of breath, he stuttered, "She-She felt the same way?" His mind couldn't wrap around it. All this time, why hadn't his father told him?

He'd been told that his mother lacked a prejudice, but he was unaware of how deep it was. He assumed she killed dragons like everyone else, but a bit more hesitantly. But no! She outwardly tried to defy Berk's own laws and... This... This was very important, valid piece of information that he now just discovered about his mother, and it irked him to no end that he received it from Helga.

"The same way?" The woman sneered. "She felt that way her whole life. Even took home a young Terrible Terror one day when she was a wee lass and begged her seniors to let her keep it as a pet. Her parents killed it on the spot. The girl cried for days."

Hiccup couldn't believe what he was hearing. He sat there staring like an idiot, letting the words swirl and blend together in hopes that this personality description would help him paint a better picture of his mother. So...he hadn't been the only dragon-lover out there? His mother, Valka, was just like him in that aspect, and it made him feel warm and fuzzy to discover that he had a connection to her.

"A lot of good that did her," Helga's scornful snort brought him back into focus. "Few weeks after yer own birth, she gets carried off by one of th' beasts. All 'cause she couldn't kill a dragon."

Hiccup cocked his head to the side, his stomach tightening. "Yes, well, she had remarkably good judgment." He couldn't help but add in a tinge of sassiness to the tone of his voice. "Besides, Dad told me it wasn't her fault. She was just protecting me, and I know that for a fact. You, on the other hand, don't-" He faltered mid-sentence, realizing his impudence and silenced himself.

Cheeky little runt. Helga's nose turned upward and she sniffed, obviously not appreciating the look of on his face. "Ye certainly take after her," she remarked, nodding to his stiffened stance.

Hiccup lowered his head, his freckled cheeks reddening a little. "I-I suppose I do. This didn't just appear out of nowhere," He replied softly, gesturing to his face.

"Aye," Helga agreed, crossing her thick arms. "Ah don't see a lot of yer father in ye. Valka was the eccentric one. It's like with dragons," she explained, folding her large hands on the table. "Ef there's something wrong with the female then there's bound to be something wrong with the hatchling."

"The... The hatchli-? Wha-What exactly are you getting at by bringing my mother up?" Hiccup questioned with a forced laugh. "I'm sorry. I'm just curious. Are you assuming I am just as eccentric?" He assumed with a small grin, not that all ashamed of his decorum.

Helga sighed through her nostrils. "What ah'm suggesting," she emphasized with a bold glare, "es that there are a few traits of ye that ah won't be wanting ye to rub off on me daughter. Catch mah drift?"

"W-Wha...? Traits? What traits?" He asked skeptically, slightly offended, "If you meant personality traits, well, then I think we're safe. You know I can't change who she is. She's the same old Astrid. The only thing that's changed is her opinion on dragons, her marital status, her name-"

"-She'll still be the axe-wielding Hofferson she's always been," Helga interrupted with a hiss. Hiccup blinked, and having had enough of the woman's antics that hardly made sense to him in the first place, rolled his eyes.

"Technically, she's a Haddock now," the fourteen-year-old countered with a quiet mutter.

Helga's eyes widened and her fists clenched. "What did ye just say?"

"Haddock." Hiccup lifted his chin, swallowing hard as his hands grew clammy. He attempted to veil his nervousness with his infamous sass. "Her name is Astrid Haddock."

Helga looked around to see if anyone was listening and lowered her voice, leaning across the tabletop. "Now ye listen to me, Haddock," she growled, "Ah know ye've managed to wrap the entire village around what little width you have on that finger of yers, but ah look past the veil of...of accomplishments..." She crept her callused hand toward his face. Hiccup was too shocked to protest as her finger drew closer and closer until he went cross-eyed. "...and disclose whatever a nuisance like yeself is masking."

"Masking...? You mean-What are you...?"

"Mah point being," Helga explained, "that something was always off about ye, whether it be your appearance-"

"My appearance?" Hiccup let out a short laugh of disbelief. "Be-Because I'm scrawnier than most Vikings?"

Helga glared at him. "Ah don't trust ye around mah girl," she continued blatantly. Why couldn't the boy understand? Astrid was her little girl, her daughter, who was now tied down with...with him! Never mind that he'd tamed the dragons. Never mind that he was the Chief's son. Never mind that he was the heir of Berk. When the woman looked upon the boy, all she could see was some cocky little Viking who'd managed to sweep Astrid off he feet.

"Why not?" Hiccup inquired.

"Why not, ye ask," the woman repeated. "Et's quite simple really." Helga leaned forward and whispered fiercely, "Ah know what ye did, Haddock. Poisoning my daughter. Raping her senseless. Tainting her with yer little bastard children."

That was when Hiccup decided that was the last straw. It was one thing to insult him, but to spat upon the name of his unborn child was simply taking it to a whole 'nother level of low. The baby had no voice, therefore unable to defend itself against Helga's tirade.

"Don-Don't you dare...call my kid that," Hiccup warned, surprising the woman with his intensity. "Whatever the rumors are, or whatever the voices are telling you in that head of yours is untrue." His pointing finger went limp as he subconsciously screamed at himself, "WHY DID I SAY THAT?! WHY?! WHY!? WHY?!"

Helga's nostrils flared. "Why ye little-"

"G-Gah! Stop, please! Listen, Astrid...Astrid means...so much to me," Hiccup went on, his gaze lowering to his lap before snapping back up to meet her. "I would never-and I mean never defile her like that. I did NOTHING. What happened between she and I was a total accident and you need to accept that."

"Ye think ah believe ye?" Helga snarled, raising a hand, fully prepared to strike the young male. Anger, pure anger that she could hardly, or perhaps chose not to, was channeling through every fiber of her being, and it was all she could to keep herself from-

"You should!" Hiccup insisted, thrusting he hand around for emphasis, his brows furrowing. He wasn't sure where or when this fiery defiance had appeared, so he gave it little thought. "Go!" He pressed, his nasally voice rising a few octaves higher than normal. It was that single word that struck down the barriers of what was moral in Helga's mind. "Go ask her! Even she'd-"

*Slap*

The slap itself echoed across the Hall, turning the head of every Viking that was situated there, including Astrid herself, who was now seething with rage. She stood several feet away from the table; she'd been approaching as her mother struck him.

Helga stood quite still, hand red and tingling from the amount of force she had exerted upon her fleshy target, being the boy's cheek. He had toppled over backward and tried to grasp at his helmet for security, which fell from his trembling hold, and he landed with an, "oomph" on the stone floor. He gaped up at her and covered his reddening cheek with both hands, scrambling back a few feet in fear, leaving his discarded helmet.

The woman's heart beat rapidly quickened as she realized her mistake, and her azure eyes flickered around the Great Hall until they met Astrid's just-as-daunting ones.

Astrid had heard everything, from her mother's threats to Hiccup's angry retorts and sarcastic remarks. And when she saw her mother bring her meaty hand down and strike the lad across the face, it became too much to bear. Her grip tightened on the wooden bowl she held unsteadily.

Ignoring her father's pleads, the female Viking stomped over to the table, sending a searing glare at Helga before kneeling down and cupping the wilting boy's cheeks in the palms of her hands. "Oh Gods," she whispered as Hiccup averted her gaze in shame, the red welt just below his left eye flaring.

"I'm-I'm so sorry-it's-it's my fault-" he began, but the blonde cut him short with a soft connection of their lips. Hiccup gasped into the kiss and shut his eyes, heart thumping considerably quicker than before. This, of course, infuriated the woman before them to no end. So perhaps that was why Astrid did it; not only to comfort her partner but to anger her mother as well.

As soon as they separated, the fourteen-year-old female whipped around to face the guilty-party, her blonde braid her catching Hiccup's eye from her abrupt movement. "How could you?" She snarled fiercely, her scowl a clear resemblance of an angry yak.

Not about to let the Haddock boy win this one, the woman retorted with, "How could ah? How could he?" She thrust a callused finger at an injured Hiccup, who visibly flinched.

"How could he what?" Astrid challenged, her fists and chest tightening. "Defend me? Defend our baby?" She grasped her stomach. "His title? Dignity?"

Helga began to sputter until she stopped, pursing her full lips together. She realized her mistake after taking into account that the unborn child was her daughter's, not just the boy's. Helga quite understood the girl's fury and was quite sheepish, at least in that aspect. Not wanting to appear deterred, she said, "Ye bite yer tongue, lass-"

"And that's another thing," Astrid interrupted without batting an eye. It was clear that she felt no fear toward the large woman. "In terms of marital laws, I'm no longer required to obey your commands." There was a short breath of silence as both Helga and Hiccup tried to process what the blonde girl was saying. Helga actually faltered for a moment, her stiffened stance giving a slight twitch of protest.

Egil looked forlorn, and rather dejected. After all, this was his only daughter who was basically denouncing her loyalty to her mother. Astrid knew this, so for her father's sake more than her mother's, the girl's hard-set, stony expression softened and her voice quieted.

"Mom, I'm married now." She wanted to say more, but that one sentence may have summed it up. "I'm not living in your house anymore and I'm not...a child. Therefore, mother, every insult, every slap to the face towards him is a slap in the face to ME! Don't you understand that?!" It was hard to tell but Helga was sure that she heard a crack in her daughter's voice. A falter.

"D-Do...?" For once, Helga was unsure of how to respond. She cleared her throat. Hiccup looked back and forth between the two, eyes wide. Taking their squabble as a distraction, he quietly retrieved his helmet and held it close to his chest for a sense of security.

Astrid was probably the only person that could leave the great and mighty Helga Hofferson to a stuttering mass of uncertainty. It was a desirable talent, Hiccup had to admit. Impressive, to say the least.

"What?" The girl cried angrily, her face growing hot. "What are you getting out of hating him? It's not doing you any good, is it?!" Helga's downcast, shameful eyes sprung back to life at this remark.

"Astrid Hofferson!" Her mother exploded, slamming her fist upon the table, causing the mugs to teeter, almost spilling their contents. Hiccup jumped, and was unsurprised to see that Astrid hadn't even flinched. She stood stock-still. But then:

"It's Astrid Haddock," the girl retaliated with a sad sneer, placing a hand on Hiccup's back and turning him around. With her nose in the air, she led the both of them away from a very distraught Helga. She paused a moment to glare at her mother over her armored shoulder and added rather haughtily, "Get it right."

Helga sputtered, looking as if she were going to bust her sleek, horned helmet in a fit of rage. And...regret. Vikings within a close range of her scooted back in trepidation.

Hiccup was incredibly nervous at that point, and he was sure that he get an axe in the back at any moment. Though, he was flattered that his wife had verbally addressed herself as such. However, it did nothing to quench the flames. If anything it only fueled them. "Ah-ah, Astrid," he tried to apologize, but failed miserably, "it's... I'm-I'm so sorry..."

"No. Don't be. It's okay," Astrid growled, obstructing her view from her father's hunched, gloomy form with her bangs.

In the chaos, Hiccup managed to pluck up the courage to shoulder-glance to the two adults stationary behind him. The sorrowful expression Egil had adopted made him feel bone-crushingly guilty, but the hatred illustrated in Helga's eyes alone was enough to make him shiver, despite the warmth from the central fire. The look signified that what he had said, that he had managed to swipe Astrid away from her mother, was unforgivable. Odin knew what she was scheming.

Astrid simply shook her head and stomped to the other side of the room, nearing the group of teenagers that had just entered.

"That went well," she muttered sarcastically, sitting down with a painful thump, the blunt spikes of her armored skirt digging into the wooden bench. She buried her face in her palms and dug her thumbs into her eyelids, her face still warm with shame. She had forgotten that there was an audience.

Fishlegs, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut all eyed each other nervously as Hiccup sat, who observed them quietly. Both Ruffnut and Tuffnut had black eyes, bruises, and cuts. Obvious results of having been the targets of a furious Nightfury from the night before. Fishlegs had several scrapes on his flabby arms, results from sprinting to the forest after Snotlout. Speaking of...

Hiccup glanced around. Where was Snotlout? As if he weren't guilty enough from what just happened, he remembered that he had rejected whatever Snotlout was trying to tell him after the consummation. Well, there was apparently no room for thought of his cousin's whereabouts, because Astrid was just getting started.

"Hiccup," she groaned into her palms. She paused, and then said, "You couldn't even-"

"I tried," he muttered quietly, resting a hand over the painful welt. "I-I'm sorry. I really...I really did try. I..." He lowered his head in shame. "I don't know what happened. She just-just brought my mother up out of nowhere-I...don't know why, but..." He sighed, "I thought she was trying to-I don't know-make up or something."

Under the influence that since Astrid hadn't brought up the previous night's affairs, Tuffnut assumed she had forgotten, so he questioned casually, "Does she still hate you? Helga, I mean? Because, dude, she slapped the bejesus out of you! You could've heard the slap all the from Outcast Island!"

Hiccup glared at him and let his head fall against the wooden table, his helmet falling out of place. Tuffnut sighed sympathetically and patted the boy's auburn hair; causing him to grimace, "Don't take it too personally, man. I mean, Helga hates too. Last time we saw her, she was yelling at me for taking a dump on her doorstep."

The group was silent, internally shuddering in disgust at the unwanted bit of information until Fishlegs spoke up in realization. "Is that why there's fecal matter on my doorstep every morning?" He asked angrily.

Tuffnut shrugged and took a bite out of his juicy leg of mutton. "Whupsh. Bushted," he mumbled nonchalantly through a mouthful of food.

"That's different, Tuff," Hiccup mumbled unhappily, resting a freckled cheek in the palm of his hand. "A prank, no matter how weird, is just a prank. People get over that. Me on the other hand... Well-I mean-I got her daughter pregnant!" He hissed the last bit under his breath as to not upset Astrid any further. "I could've gotten into her good terms, but by the looks of it, I've gone a thousand steps backward."

Ruffnut smirked and snorted into her hand. "Yeah, good job."

Fishlegs groaned and covered his bruised face with his large digits. "Can we please not talk about that?" He whimpered in despair. "I just got over the image of you guys consummating, and the image of Tuffnut expelling his waste on my doorstep."

"Oh, that reminds me." Astrid uncovered her face and sent a major death-glare at the twins before slamming her fist into the table, causing the plates and mugs to rattle. "Don't think I've forgotten what you two mutton-heads did last night. Spying on us?!" she hissed. "You should be thanking Odin above that I can't over-exert myself or your helmets would be embedded in your sorry little-"

A frightened little cry from Fishlegs caused her to pause and she sighed. "Not you, 'Legs," she assured the timid male. "You're better than that."

"Oh, thank Thor," the hefty boy sighed in relief. "For a second there I thought you were gonna-Ahem. B-Besides, I was only there to provide moral support. You know, for Snotlout?"

"For-For Snotlout?" Hiccup questioned, raising an eyebrow. "Oh. That's right..." Come to think of it, Snotlout had been going to tell him something the other night, but since Hiccup hadn't yet cooled off from the twin escapade, he had sent the burly boy away without question or hesitation.

"Yeah," Fishlegs sighed once more and rubbed at his tired eyes. "Hiccup, I know I promised Snotlout not to tell you anything, but for his own good-" he stopped, thinking back to the night before when Snotlout had told him that he couldn't keep a secret to save his own life. Well, he wasn't in cahoots to the actual secret, but telling Hiccup the basics should save Snotlout a ton of anguish.

"It's a secret. I-I think he's sick, Hiccup," Fishlegs revealed quietly, his heart thumping rapidly against his chest. "He's-He's been holding onto this-this secret that he's been trying to tell you for, well," he chuckled nervously, "quite a while. Blatantly, he's really, REALLY guilty about something." Everyone threw him a questioning glance. "Now, I don't what it is! But I think it's important."

"Question. How long is 'quite a while'?" Astrid interjected, suspiciously squinting her eyes.

Fishlegs bit his bottom lip. "A couple of months."

The group was silent for a moment, and then Hiccup gasped, "A couple of months?!" How had Snotlout not spilled the beans yet? Tuffnut whistled lowly. "Why on Berk didn't he confess sooner?"

"Wow. Never thought he'd be able to keep his mouth shut fer that long," Ruffnut commented, impressed. And then she and her brother shared a look, grinning mischievously. "Maybe he'll tell us."

"No, guys," Fishlegs warned, causing the twins to slump in disappointment. "I think it'd be good if Hiccup talked to him by himself. Cousin to cousin."

Astrid groans and buried her face in her arms. "I'm sick of all these unresolved family issues," she muttered to herself. Why couldn't everyone just get along and be together with no consequences whatsoever? No grudges, no secrets, no rivalries... Ugh. That would be the day.

"I suppose that would explain why he's been acting so strange lately," Hiccup murmured thoughtfully, rubbing his scarred chin. "Okay." He decided. "Okay. I'll go talk to him later." He should, really. It was the mature thing to do.

"Heh. Good luck," Fishlegs chuckled sadly, halting his thoughts. "I was up all night coaxing him to tell me what the issue was. Through a storm!"

"And he didn't fess up?" Ruffnut asked in awe before taking a swig from her mug.

"Not even," Fishlegs sighed, crossing his arms. "With all due respect, I think you should let him come to you instead of chasing him around. It's like trying to convince a cornered Terrible Terror to give up its fish."

"Not gonna happen," Astrid concluded offhandedly, shamelessly stealing a chunk of beef from Tuffnut's plate.

"Wha-? Hey!" The young Viking spluttered. "That's-" He quickly silenced himself in submission to the thunderous expression Astrid had adorned and let her take the meat. "Uh... Is this your way of telling me that I'm forgiven?"

Hiccup face-palmed.

...

"Snotlout!" A large man bellowed, his deep, guttural voice echoing throughout his darkened household. He motioned to the snowy outside, his being surprisingly undeterred by the cold weather. "We're all goin' to th' Great Hall to ration yesterday's catch!" Spitelout, who was standing in the doorway of his home, shouted to his son. Said son groaned and stretched out against Hookfang, who kept him warm with his toasty scales. "Come, come. Up and at 'em!"

"But Dad, it's freezing!" The burly boy complained, maneuvering himself upward and retrieving his horned helmet.

"A lettle cold never shirked a Viking of his responsibilities," Spitelout dismissed with a wave of his large hand. "Look at that!" He held up his arm and smiled. "No goose-bumps to be seen." He glanced over to his son, who had stalked forward with a sour expression on his face. He frowned, not at all used to seeing the boy like this. Over the course of a couple of weeks, Spitelout had definitely noticed the subtle changes in his son's mood and demeanor. Usually, Snotlout would be more than delighted to work with his father. Thinking it was just another part of hormonal growth, the man shrugged it off. "Teenagers," he muttered to himself with a shake of the head as Snotlout stumbled into the snow.

"Alright boy," Spitelout announced casually as he tread through the powder, easily catching up to his slumping son. "Thes week's catch es going to be a big one. So ah'm goin to need yah to step up and use some of that strength of yours to lift the nets. Understand?"

Snotlout smiled a tiny half grin, his eyes focused on his buried boots. "Hm? Oh, yeah, yep! Sure thing, Dad," he quickly answered before his father could pick up on his inattentiveness. In truth, his mind was elsewhere. He couldn't get his mind off about the previous night, when Fishlegs had been literally chasing him down after his failed attempt to apologize to Hiccup.

He had surprised Fishlegs, and even himself by giving up. By basically refusing to put in any more effort, he'd illustrated, quite clearly, that he wasn't the persistent, stubborn person he had always built himself up to be.

"Yah alright there, son?"

His father's questioning voice caused Snotlout to snap out of his deep, troubled subconscious, and he forced himself to beam at the much larger man. "You kidding? I feel great! Like I could conquer the Romans," he replied haughtily.

Spitelout grinned. "That's the spirit a Jorgenson should always feel." He gave the younger Viking a rough thump of encouragement on the back, causing him to slightly stumble forward. "Ah just ask, because ye've been actin' a lettle deferent lately."

Snotlout's chocolate eyes widened just the slightest. "Um, different?" He chuckled nervously. Was it really that obvious? He wasn't at all like his cousin, who could easily veil his emotions by expression or by a sarcastic remark.

"'Course deferent!" Spitelout insisted, giving the grace to his son by at least making eye contact with him. "Ye've been a lot quieter, for instance. Ah don't see ya outside a lot-and that reminds me. Ye've been skipping lessons at the Dragon Training Academy."

Oh...Odin's beard, he noticed?! Snotlout, ever since he had been grounded, had tried to make himself busy so his father wouldn't notice. He hadn't done a good job of covering that up either. Hm. Maybe he should've given Fishlegs' a break about keeping secrets, because he wasn't too good at it himself. "Oh...yeah, about that?" The male tittered nervously once more before revealing, "I sorta got…suspended." His voice quieted near the end of the sentence, causing his father to squint.

"What was that, boy?" The man's voice was dangerously soft.

"Eh...? Uh... I'm-Um-" Snotlout panicked and shocked Spitelout by literally sprinting away, snow uplifting and flying out on either side of him as he plowed through.

"Wha-? Snotlout?!" The man roared in disbelief as his son tore away from him. "GET BACK HERE NOW!" Even the fact that he was privy to the biggest secret on Berk, nothing could break his programmed obedience as a Viking toward his father. With a heavy sigh, he began to trudge back toward his awaiting father.

"You are so dead."

Author's Note: I apologize sincerely to all my Fanrats for the incredibly slow update. It's been so difficult for me lately and I know that I promised a quicker update, so I just want to let you guys know what I've been doing that stopped me from posting the chapter:

1. A two-day church retreat.

2. Three track meets (in the same week)

3. Baby-sitting

4. Biology and Spanish Tests

5. A short story revolving around Hiccup's insanity. - Yeah, I know.

But to make it up to you all, the next chapter is gonna be the road trip to Snoggletog! We're actually quite close to the end