Disclaimer: Disclaimed.

AN: Rating upped due to minor suggestive adult-rated themes.


An Underground Publication

'That,' Sarah said, looking mournfully into her whisky, 'was a total disaster.'

The granny from downstairs had been most reassuring of Sarah's writing abilities earlier that evening. 'Och dearie,' she had said, pressing a bottle from her special supply into Sarah's arms, 'they'd not know talent if it were to walk up and hit 'em in the face.'

'I don't even care,' Sarah told the glass, 'Not one hoot... It's just that sometimes, every now and again in my life, it would be nice to be appreciated, you know.'

They didn't warrant any of Sarah's attention, and she didn't give them any, those stupid publishers, with their stupid rejection letters. What was it one of them had said, that her story read like a whimsical and self-indulgent teenage wish-fulfilment fantasy? What do publishers know about good writing anyway? Sarah rested her head on the table and glared at the rejections in the wastepaper basket.

She barely noticed when another glass appeared beside her own.

'What is that you're drinking?' Jareth asked.

'You are the last person...entity...self-indulgent wish fulfilment I want to see,' she said without lifting her eyes.

He inspected the label.

'Passable, I suppose. I have something much better.'

With a minimum amount of sparkle he conjured up a suspicious looking bottle. Sarah was unimpressed.

'If it's anything remotely trippy you can poof right off.'

Jareth pulled out the stopper and proceeded to decant the contents into each glass.

'Goblin firewater has a terrible reputation. It's not altogether undeserved. Good though.'

'I'm a good writer,' Sarah said, taking a swig, 'I'll show them. But you'd think that by the thirty-sixth application they'd see my genius.'

'It'd go down well Underground,' Jareth said, leafing through her manuscript, 'It'd keep the goblins quiet for hours. Hmm, let's see, "She would take back what he had taken, she told him, but he laughed cruelly at her words-"'

Sarah yanked it out of his hands.

'Hey, hey, who said you can read this?'

'Sarah, it's just been read by thirty-six editors whose collective idea of a bestseller is a monochromatic adult-rated fan account of some vampire melodrama.'

'There's a thought. I could totally do adult-rated,' Sarah said, looking at a couple of pages in the text, 'Oh, you're still here. I didn't say that.'

'What's said is said,' he reminded her.

'It would be most unsuitable for the goblins.'

'But for the Goblin King?'

'You'll just have to make do with this and use your imagination. Wait, I didn't say that either! What is in this drink?'

'It's best you do not know,' Jareth said, 'Good though.'

Sarah pushed her glass away and slumped in the chair. Jareth amused himself by turning his glass into a crystal, swirling the firewater inside, and turning it back into a glass again.

'Maybe I should just accept that writing is not my forte,' Sarah sighed.

'I think it's good,' Jareth said, looking into his glass.

'Ha. Sure you do.'

'Well, it's mostly about me, so that helps. I like the parts where I'm fearsome and, what was the word you used, "alluring"?'

'I did not write "alluring",' Sarah exclaimed, and coughed.

'Oh you didn't? You should, it's a good word. No matter, I'll have it published Underground in any case.'

'I didn't write this to entertain goblins you know.'

'Yes, about that. You may want to change the ending.'

'What?!'

'Well I can't exactly incite a goblin revolution! Let them near the monologue in your last chapter and they'll get all sorts of ideas. And the last time they got an idea - ' Jareth shuddered, ' - it took a very long time to sort things out.'

Sarah considered the offer.

'Let's say I do this. You get your self-promotion and your placated goblin subjects. What do I get?'

'Fanmail,' Jareth suggested, but when, judging by Sarah's reaction, this failed to convince her, he added, 'and recommendations. To your Aboveground publishers. Recommendations which will make them kick themselves for not taking you on in the first place, and which will put you in good stead for publishing your future work.'

'You can do that?'

Jareth only grinned.

Sarah chewed her lip.

'Just let me publish this, and you can publish anything that you want,' he coaxed.

Sarah deliberated.

'I ask for so little,' he said.

'Ugh,' Sarah sighed.

'Will you do it?' Jareth asked. Sarah rolled her eyes.

'All right,' she said, 'All right. I'll do it.'

'Done,' Jareth said, and raised a toast to the arrangement.

'Why do I feel that I am going to regret this?' Sarah asked, downing the last of the firewater.

'Firewater hangovers are not nearly as bad as they say. Anyway, it's not like you have anything important on tomorrow morning.'

Much to Sarah's dismay, the clock displayed half past two.

'You could just come to the Underground tonight, you know...'

'Underground publishing is one thing,' Sarah said reasonably, 'Goblin liquor-induced propositions are quite another!'

'Fine, fine, I can take a hint. But would you at least consider writing an adult-rated version of your story?'

'Geez Jareth, if you want it so much, write it yourself! What is in this drink dammit? It is good though.'

Sarah hid her face in her arms and mumbled,

'Enough. Enough. I'll redo this ending, I'll make something up. But you had better go and take this bottle with you because if not, I will carry on saying things I won't be able to unsay.'

Jareth returned Underground with only the remainder of the firewater for company, but was happy enough to entertain his new writing project.

'It is not a bad idea,' he said to himself, 'But I must remember to hide this from Hoggle. Labyrinth forbid that he should ever find it.'

-FIN-