Chapter 7 Collision: Confessions: Prowl
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"I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
Well, I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide"- 'Collide' Howie Day
Prowl came around once again to the now too familiar sounds and smells of medical. He could only assume he glitched again, but why this time? Then the normal confusion he experienced with coming out of a glitch induced blackout as well as pain hit him and he remembered. it wasn't a normal glitch. He was fighting Decepticons on a mission with Jazz. He believed it was successful and had transformed to leave but Jazz wasn't with him as he believed. He called him and only got static as a response. He knew the explosions were about to detonate. He went after him and was hit by decepticon fire and debris from the lab. He saw the wounded Jazz coming out of the blast loosing energon and he did what first aid he could while radioing for help. He then glitched. He made it back clearly but had the same question. Where was Jazz? He tried to sit up and look assuming correctly that they found him and brought him back for repairs and Jazz was right beside him but found he could barely move.
"Easy there Prowl" came the voice of the medic standing over him, Jazz and Prowl's energon still coating his white plating. "That was quite a hit you took. Never mind the changes to your processor. For a while there I wasn't sure you would pull through. What exactly happened?"
Prowl vented and recounted the last moments of the mission and Ratchet just nodded. "Primus, you both were lucky"
"There is no such thing as luck, Ratchet. You know that, and I am begining to doubt Primus. It is fortunate you are so skilled, Doctor."
"Hummmph" Ratchet grunted. Perhaps, but it would have been easier had you botherd to tell me when you were in here earlier for upgrades or at least when you glitched last time that you were convinced you were qualified to perform your own upgrade. That was the real reason behind your last episode and coming to so quickly wasnt it? Or was telling your doctor about major changes you were going to make to your body not important? Dont worry. I have removed it and corrected the damage. You know it would have eventually changed who you are."
Prowl flintched at the thought. Yes, He hated it sometimes but it was part of his battle computer, part of what made him so good. If it were gone most of who he was would be too. "If I had not done it I wouldnt have been able to come hold it together long enough for first aid or come around quickly enough to fill you in on what happened. We may have lost a very talented sabatour."
" You dont know that for sure. As I told you it cdould have cost us a very talented stratigest. I could have helped you with something temporary that wouldnt have caused damage. Correcting your processor was what took so long. Your actual physical wounds were minor compared to what they could have been and I repaired them relatively quickly. However, Jazz's were more extensive."
Prowl's stoic expression faded and worry crossed his face plates. He slowly eased himself up ignoring the stiffness. He knew it would work its way out ."How is he?" he asked not bothering to hide the grave worry that made his way out. He learned vorns ago that he couldnt hide from Ratchet and was sharply reminded of that fact moments ago. He sat up ready to go to Jazz's side. "If he doesnt...He is so still. He will wake up. Could you..." Prowl watched him and listened to the monitor as well as the steady hum of Jazz's fans.
"He will pull through, Prowl." Ratchet assured him noticing quickly where the conversation was headed. "I spent the last several hours in surgery and I am leaving him in stasis to allow his body to continue its own repairs, so no I won't be pulling him out of it. I imagine he will come out of stasis on his own within the joor."
Prowl vented something equivilant to a sigh. He wanted to speak with him right away but at least he would get that chance. He wasnt sure of it on the battle field. He needed to talk and it seemed Ratchet would be around a while considereing the condition of his patients. He was sure Ratchet figured it out anyway perceptive as he was. "Ratchet, you wanted to know why I made the upgrades?" He asked quietly.
Ratchet put down the chart he was working on and stood beside him. "It wasnt just to protect yourself if there was trouble in the battle was it? You never needed anyting like that before just like you never needed the level 4 anti-viral/special opps upgrade before. Your feelings for Jazz are more than just concern for one Autobot from another. You anticipate more." It was a statement of fact more than a question. "You anticipate a friendship that will become a physical relationship do you not?" Prowl looked away. "It is necessary to be careful. Your logic and strategy for that is flawless as usual, Prowl. I am all for it."
Prowl reclined back on the berth. He was tightning up again but wouldnt admit it. "Right again Doctor. Yes I am trying to take precautions if things do happen. I know he is careful and I am told that is why he never allows himself to get serious with a bot, the danger. If I took extra precautions perhaps he would see that I am serious. "
Thje monitors beeped and Jazz's venting changed. Ratchet left Prowl to check on him. Jazz was coming to earlier than expected. He onlined his optics but didnt move. He smiled weekly at Ratchet indicating he had been awake and heard what had been said and wanted to hear more. He grunted indicating some pain and Ratchet made adjustiments with pain killers that would allow him to still remain concious while keeping him from moving too much. Scans indicated he was healing on schedule. Ratchet would allow him to rest there and still keep an optic on him.
"He is ok, Prowl just making some medication adjustments though he may wake up sooner than expected. I will let you know. You were saying?" Ratchet wouldnt admit it but he liked the idea of potentially being match maker to his two friends.
Yes, I admit it. It is illogical, considering our differences, that he would ever share my feelings. However, there were indications he may. They were very subtle though so my inclinations is to doubt it. Jazz is usually very open with his feelings, and if he is interested in a bot he has never hesitated to tell him. He thinks I am unavailible uninterested and cold, consequently he never bothered to make a move."
"When he wakes up you should talk to him. Set up a relaxed situation and work on being friends. Dont assume too much. That could be detremental to both of you. You assume he is uninterested because he dosent act like himself around you. Perhaps he doesnt want to offend you by being overly emotional. I dont think he thinks youre cold. In fact I know he admires your dedication."
"Offend me with his emotions and playfullness? That is absurd. That is who he is Doctor. Why should he change for me? For anyone?"
"Why should you change for him? Didnt you try that and glitch?"
Ratchet was right again and Prowl knew it. "thanks doctor. I never knew you were a psychiatrist too"
"You know I took classes at repair school vorns ago, not to mention I do have first hand knowledge about these things. Rest now. I am going to check on Jazz again" he told Prowl as the moitors beeped loudly. "Hello, Jazz. Welcome back to the world of the living."
Jazz and Prowl both smiled from their berths.
A/N: The song at the begining seemed to fit my story perfectly so I had to include it. I hear it and imagine them singing to each other. Also I found a way to get Prowl to be the first to admit feelings without him thinking he was crossing lines. What he tells Ratchet is after all confidential. JThanks to those who have followed, favorited and reviewed.
