Last chapter was intended to be more cute than funny. Also, this fic isn't only about pranks. It is about Naruto just generally being immature.
This is an April Fool's Day special thing. It might be slightly confusing, because there will be many pranks going on. If you see a line it means it's time for a new prank. During the prank I might show flashbacks to explain the set up of said prank.
Kyuubi Talking
Thoughts
Inner Sakura
"Regular talking"
Doomsday
It was March 30 and Naruto woke up excited. Sakura was at her house that night, so it was possible for him to literally jump out of bed. He ran down stairs grabbed a breakfast bar and ran out of his house.
He was running through town eating his bar in disdain. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't ramen. He was looking for one specific person. He spotted him, brooding, near said person's home.
"Oi Teme you know what the date is tomorrow." In all honesty, he had no clue. Ever since his probation ended a week prior he stopped keeping track of the calendar. It really suited no purpose, unless it was for a mission. He still didn't get too many, because he had to recover his reputation from that of 'traitor'.
"April 1st. Why do you ask?" Naruto's mouth fell agape.
How could he not remember, that ass?
"It is April Fool's Day, and you know what that means. Now that you're off probation you are going to help me. Now let's go we need to start planning and recruiting right away."
"Wait up a second. I never agreed. Whatever, I guess I will. I've got nothing else better to do anyways." He watched Naruto's face light up for a second and then go back to one of anger.
"We got to make this one that the villagers will never ever forget and we will need all the help we can get. I'm thinking Shikamaru, Kiba, Chouji, Sai, and Konohamaru will be the assailants."
"Sure whatever dobe. Let's go."
Xx Shikamaru's Apartment xX
"Hey lazy-ass open the door now! I need to talk to you." The door swung open and Naruto almost fell over.
"WHAT IS IT? Damn you are so loud. This is so troublesome." Shikamaru was in his Jounin outfit. He was offered a job in ANBU, but rejected it, because it was too troublesome.
"The dobe is here to tell you that we need you to pull off the ultimate prank ever."
"No it is too troublesome." Sasuke gave up easy in these matters and decided to walk away shrugging his shoulders.
"Wait up! If you don't help us, I'll tell a certain blonde sand ninja what happened the Christmas before the last. Let's just say it involves another blonde ninja."
It happened at a Christmas party almost a year-and-a-half prior. Shikamaru was caught with a lampshade on his head, in the closet hugging Ino. His shirt was ripped and the lampshade had a burn mark from the cigarette he was smoking. Naruto was first on the scene and took a picture as humiliating evidence. Luckily, Temari was in Suna when it happened, otherwise all hell would break loose.
"OK! Ok! I'll help you guys."
"Is Chouji in there too?" Shikamaru and Chouji were roommates, because they were just promoted to Jounin and didn't have enough experience to be paid extremely well.
"Yeah I'm here." Chouji came from the living room. He was more muscular, but still slightly chubby. He was chubby to perform his clan jutsus.
"Ok let's go get everyone else. Kiba, Konohamaru, and Sai should be returning from a mission."
Xx Front Gates xX
"Oi Kiba, Konohamaru, Sai will you help us with our pranks tomorrow."
In unison they said, "Yeah sure why not."
"That's it. That was surprisingly easy dobe." Sasuke was shocked; he couldn't believe the pranks were going to happen.
"Yeah it was. Now let's get out of here we need to discuss some things."
Xx In Secret xX
"Ok Naruto what is the plan?" Kiba was the most impatient in the entire group.
"Well see I'm not exactly sure, we all need to decide something soon." He had his hand on his chin and his eyes were closed.
"Well boss who are we going to prank?" Konohamaru was now much taller and a chuunin. He had advanced the Sexy Jutsu farther than even Naruto could.
"Well everyone we know. We just need to know where everyone is going to be and what they are doing."
Shikamaru lazily replied, "The three girls from the rookie nine, Temari, and Tenten, are all having a girls day out tomorrow."
"Ero-sennin must be 'researching' and Baa-chan will be I her office."
"Iruka is going to be at the academy grading papers boss."
"Dobe, Kakashi is going to the memorial of course. Kurenai is going to be at home with her child. Shizune will be with Hokage. Gai and Rock Lee will be training. Oh… and Neji is most likely going to be at his house."
"How the fuck do you know all of that, teme?"
"I, unlike you, deserve my ANBU title, dobe"
Shikamaru suddenly spoke up, "Shut up you two, we still need a plan." His mind was whirring from the start.
"Ok everyone we got shit to plan, shit to buy, and shit to prepare, so let's hurry!"
"OH HO HO. My, my, what beautiful ladies we have in Konoha." A white haired pervert spoke from his stoop on the roof of the sauna.
"Oi pervert what the hell are you doing?" He could tell it was none other than Tsunade's voice coming from behind him.
"Nothing, Tsunade, I'm just researching." He didn't bother turning he knew she was pissed and was going to kick his ass. However, the response he got was totally shocking.
"Well Jiraiya-kuun allow me and my friends to help you." She said as sexily as he had ever heard her speak. He whipped around in shock only to fly back as the fountain of blood from his nose launched him away from Tsunade. She was half naked surrounded be steam, and two other half-naked ladies. He rubbed his eyes and looked again.
Oh my god, they are still there. Heh heh
"Do you want our help or not?" One of the girls behind Tsunade cutely asked Jiraiya. She haid black hair and black eyes and was staring so intently it made Jiraiya weak.
"S-sure, I mean, sure I will!" It must be my birthday, or I'm dead.
"What would you like us to do? Or do to us?" The other girl said while biting her lip.
"Would you like to touch my breasts Jiraiya-kun?" Tsunade said.
"YES! I mean... yes, I would like that. It would most certainly help." One of the girls giggled. He neared Tsunade wiggling his fingers at her chest level. She was now drawing small circles on his chest.
There was another poof, creating more steam. "WHAT THE FUCK? Y-y-y-y-you are that one kid that hangs around Naruto."
"Hey pervert, April Fools." With that Konohamaru ran away, but not before yelling back to Jiraiya. "Hey I didn't know old men like you had testosterone that worked so efficiently without…medicinal…help."
"BASTARD!" There Jiraiya stood on top of the roof being stared at by all the women. He was wearing ninja pants, but they felt like sweat pants… "Well hello ladies."
"PERVERT," they yelled and ran away, throwing whatever they could find at him.
Konohamaru was some
distance laughing his ass off. Plan J successful, now onto Plan G.
"See girls this is what life is all about. No men, no make up, no worries." The girls were at a sauna getting facials…and well…other girls stuff.
"Seriously Ino, this is so relaxing," Sakura was able to release her tension in saunas.
"SAKURA-NEE-CHAN, COME QUICK! I was… walking on the outskirts… of town and I heard Sasuke and Naruto… scream. It was close… to the sauna by the forest." Konohamaru was panting trying to tell the story. "They might need a medical-nin to help them. Let's go!"
Oh shit what happened Naruto? Were you attacked?
She ran behind Konohamaru to the sauna, the other girls following her. "Where are they?"
"Look there they-" Konohamaru was shocked at what he saw.
"OH MY-" Sakura was cut off by Hinata.
"Goodness. That-" She was cut off by Ino
"-is so HOT!" They all saw Naruto and Sasuke naked in the sauna with steam covering all the right places. They looked like they were about to kiss, with that lust in their eye.
"NARUTO UZUMAKI! You dare cheat on me with HIM!" She was now totally furious. She was stomping her way towards the couple. She was stopped by Ino.
"Forehead don't mess this up, it is sooo hot." Sakura shot her a glare that immediately made Ino let get of Sakura.
"Let's see everything boys." Temari was also blushing. She pulled out her fan and blew all the steam away from the area. "Oh MY GOD!"
She saw all the boys naked: Shikamaru, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sai. Sai was with Shikamaru talking about Shikamaru's penis.
Blood shot out of all the girls' noses as they noticed all of the boys' well toned muscles and lean bodies. They guys managed to get in the water before they saw anything else.
"WHAT KIND OF HOMOEROTIC SHIT IS GOING ON HERE?!" Temari boomed from her point.
"Um…"
"SPIT IT OUT" Sakura joined in. She was shocked though, because they all seemed to poof away. Not to mention Konohamaru was no where in sight. She was also startled by the figure that was suddenly next to her.
"Sakura-chan…" It was his voice. It was smooth and gentle. He was hugging her from behind, nuzzling his face in her hair. "April Fools," he said loud enough for all the girls to hear. With that, he disappeared, leaving behind an angry yet blushing Sakura.
Plan G complete;
initiating Plan K.
Kakashi was ready to go home to his books. God, how he loved them, they never got old, it was as if they updated automatically. He loved his books about as much as Naruto loved Ramen.
He opened the door to his apartment only to be stopped suddenly. He couldn't move a single muscle in his body, but he was still standing.
The light flipped on and he saw his books, on the floor.
Oh thank God they are still ok. What is going on?
With that, his books spontaneously combusted and were engulfed in flame. He had a feeling it may be genjutsu, but it looked so real. Not to mention he couldn't dispel it, because he was bound to his spot.
No please, no why? Not again. Why? I just bought those. No, no, no, NO! I can't cry. He started to tear up slightly.
The books started talking, asking 'why would you leave us,' and 'why don't you care'.
I'm sorry Icha Icha. I can't move.
The genjutsu faded away and he was in his apartment. His shadow connected to another's. He had a tear in his eye.
"April Fools Kakashi," he heard Sasuke's voice.
Sasuke, Shikamaru those bastards. Oh well at least my books are ok. I'm sorry Paradise, Tactics. I love you guys, I would never leave you.
Plan K complete,
initiating Plan T.
Tsunade was dozing off in her office. She was so sick of her work. It never ended; the stacks of papers came in one by one. She didn't understand why Naruto wanted the job so badly.
She woke up thirsty. "Shizune go get me some Sake." It was ironic, because alcohol only makes one thirstier. "Shizune!"
Shizune came in running with a bottle of sake. "Tsunade-sama it is way too early to drink right now." She walked around the room dusting knickknacks. "Focus more on your actual work; we need those papers done by tomorrow."
"I know, I know." She drank the sake straight from the bottle without even using a cup.
After about ten minutes Tsunade's stomach started acting up. She just went to the bathroom five minutes prior, and now she had to go again.
What the hell is going on? I don't have the symptoms of an upset stomach. I'm also feeling fine.
Her stomach made a rumbling sound. Shizune overheard and came in the office. "Tsunade-sama is that your stomach that I hear."
"Yeah, I think I have an upset stomach. I don't have the symptoms the so it makes no sense."
"Well Tsunade-sama, what did you eat today?"
"Nothing much for breakfast, I had the sake you gave me." Shizune looked slightly confused.
"I never gave you any sake." Tsunade was also confused so she pulled out the empty bottle.
"Look Shizune I have proof of it right here, you want to see it." She tossed it over to Shizune who caught it.
Shizune examined the bottle carefully and saw a poof go off on the label. Suddenly thick letters appeared on the bottle and the answer to the mystery was evident.
There were laxatives in this bottle. Super laxative that will work for 3 days. Oh well have fun and like don't blow up the toilet or anything. April Fools. –Naruto.
Shizune gave Tsunade the bottle and her eyes went wide. She screamed out in fury at the top of her lungs directly into the sky. Near by Naruto heard the scream and realized that Plan T was a success.
Initiating Plan H
This was the simplest and most destructive plan. Mess up Konoha at night.
Sai was to draw a giant bird and fly around town having the bird poop of carts and store windows.
Chouji was to stand on top of the Hokage monument and launch eggs at his acquaintances' homes using his giant arms.
Others would do various things to help out. The hardest hit of all the areas was the Hyuuga residence. It was the epitome of high school vandalizing.
The trees were tp'd, the pavement had peanut butter on it. Neji's window said April Fools on it. They put tiny pieces of newspaper in the grass, wetting it with a suiton jutsu. They put bologna on the house walls. All in all they completely messed up the place. It was all in good fun, because Neji was to be announced clan head in a few years and the guys told him, he would have to go through some sort of hazing.
"Guys this has to be like the greatest April Fool's Day in the history of the holiday."
"I must say we caused quite a commotion dobe. You realize if I'm caught I'm going to be in deep shit."
"Teme that is what makes it fun."
Little did Naruto he had scores of people after him. It was the same every year. They would chase down Naruto and he would weasel his way out. He would bring up the fact that it was April Fools Day and his friends would leave him alone. He never messed with the old gas bags.
Ok Guys, I feel I rushed that for one. I could have spent more time on each prank, but I wanted to get this out on 4/1/07. Oh well you get the idea. Plus, there were so many pranks that it would have taken forever to elaborate. Also I made Kakashi pretty weird in this chapter. Oh well.
I also added something to my profile. (I actually wrote something in there).
