A/N: I've been quiet for like…a day. I know, that's horrendous for me. I apologize. I'm just not feeling the love right now.
Oh my god. I'm watching "Whose Line is it Anyway" and Wayne Brady was just a WWE Superstar in that dating game. Yes.
You people disgust me. I don't understand why you fools hate me. With every profile I read, every wrestling blog I come across, I see the same thing.
"Leik, zomg I totally hait Edge bcuz hes lik not gud and sooo ivil. Y is he da rtrd R supa star? Fur wat? Hez leik R for retarded."
What? They spelled "retarded" right, but they spelled "why" wrong? Are you kidding me?
Why do you hate me? I don't get it. Not that I care, but the more Edgeheads out there, the less Cena fans there are.
The crowd was so hot for me at the Royal Rumble. No, the men were not in love with me. I didn't mean it like that, jerks. That's wrestling speak for "they really, really wanted me to beat the holy hell out of Rey Mysterio."
I don't see why you all think I'm such a bad guy. Is it because the Edgeheads help me out? Sorry that I have friends and you guys don't. I guess you wouldn't understand what it's like to be so freaking awesome that your friends are willing to help you out in a tough spot. Maybe you're jealous that I have a bitch like Vickie that does my bidding. If you guys hate me for that, then you need some serious counseling. You guys must have some pathetic lives if your woman doesn't cook for you. Vickie knows her place.
Are you guys still upset about Matt Hardy? Let me put it this way. If it was the other way around, would you hate Matt Hardy? Yeah, think about that one, jackasses.
I bet that you're just jealous that I'm better looking than you. I'm better dressed. I'm probably cleaner, too. You probably have lice and you're jealous of my amazing hair.
I think that you're under the impression that I don't care about stuff. I care about Vickie…saving my ass when I need it like she should. I care about the Edgeheads…worshiping the ground I walk on.
Damnit, I'm even a family man! Me and Chavo, guys! I just wanted you to know that I planned his little Mexican fiesta. Yeah, I hate Chavo, but he doesn't need to know that. I didn't plan for CM Punk, though. I'm kind of glad he did. It was pretty funny to see Chavo get slammed in the head with a musical instrument.
I should have went in and smashed CM Punk with one, too. But I wouldn't use any of mine. My guitars are signed by Eddie Van Halen.
A/N: Sorry, I just had to do a chapter where Edge talks about how great he is. It's something that he'd do.
