That night had been awkward. Scratch that, the whole day had been awkward. They had watched TV again, Hermione finding a show that she knew. Harry watched it, sitting in the chair, not the couch with her. She had made dinner, and Harry had helped. But things had been strained. Every time Harry looked at her he just saw her naked, he just felt her soft skin and tantalizing fingers. But he was annoyed also. This had been her fucking idea, and now she wanted to call it off! Didn't he get a say in any of this?
"Harry." She muted the commercial and turned towards him. He looked over at her slowly.
"Look, I am not going to let this ruin our friendship. And...and this was, well...now things have changed."
He watched her bare feet that were curled by her side, "How?"
"I didn't expect that to be..like that." She said slowly.
Harry looked up and despite himself, he smirked, "What does that mean?"
Hermione turned pink, "You know, I...I didn't think it would be that great."
Harry didn't reply. But he held her gaze, making her blush more, "Thanks." He said grinning.
She rolled her eyes, "Harry! be serious!"
He looked away and his smile faded.
"I don't know about you, but I feel different. I feel things that I didn't want to feel towards you..."
Harry turned his head back suddenly, "What does that mean?" He said angrily.
She glared at him, exasperated, "You know what it means!"
She looked away suddenly, then whispered, "Ron."
Harry swallowed and said nothing. Ron, his best friend. The guy Hermione was supposed to end up with. And Harry wanted them to end up together. Didn't he? But now, he was shagging Hermione. Something that Ron should have been able to do with her. And something he should have done with Ginny, something he would have done if they had stayed together...
He clenched his teeth together, "So what now?"
"I don't know," she said quietly.
"Well this DID change things," Harry's voice got louder but he couldn't stop himself, she was being totally unfair, "And I don't care that they did. I only know that now...now I can't just stop. I don't want to stop." He held her eye, "And neither do you."
Hermione looked away.
"Ron, and Ginny...who cares about them right now? I know, I know that's heartless to say," he got up from the chair, and stood before her, "But when this all started didn't you say that you wanted to have this in case of the war going badly. In case something happens to you, or me?"
Hermione swung her head around, "You are not going to die in the war, Harry!"
'Oh, yeah?" Harry shot back, "Then explain the prophesy to me. Explain why you really wanted to have sex! Why?"
Hermione glared at him, her face red. He thought she might actually start crying.
"I don't know, okay!" She stood from the couch and yelled back at him, "This terrified me more then anything. And I wanted to do it with you because...because yes, I am afraid that you will die in the war. And God forbid, if that happens then that could have been a special memory between us. But that's not the only reason!"
Harry stared at her in shock, but was still pissed off enough to question her, "Then what are the other reasons?"
"Ugh!" Hermione turned and ran out of the room, "I shouldn't have to tell you!"
Harry stood their fuming, then collapsed back onto the couch. Nothing she had said had made any sense. He wanted to follow her upstairs, but he seriously doubted that she would be as forgiving as last night. Harry wasn't going to deny it, sex was addicting. But, he didn't want to run off and have sex with every other woman he could find. Right now, anyway, he wanted Hermione. And as much as that sacred him, it was the truth. He was feeling things he never thought he would feel again after Ginny, but he also felt brand new things. Feelings that were such a stark contrast to his shitty confusing life, could he be blamed for not wanting to give them up?
And no he didn't know what to do. Usually when he was this confused he would go talk to her, his best friend. But she was the whole reason this has started. And like it or not, their was a possibility that Harry would die in the war. And she had been right, this was an experience he wanted to know, if that happened. But then why did she want to call it off?
Harry stood up slowly, and headed to the staircase. If anything he needed to at least talk to Hermione. And maybe, if she'd let him, he would fall asleep holding her in his arms. Because that had been the best part of this whole thing.
- Sorry it's short! But I promise all will work out soon enough...lol.
