Hello again! Thanks to all the viewers for reading, as always. The song in this is "Once" from the movie...Once. If you haven't seen it, you should. It's a really good music movie for you indie lovers out there. Goodie of the Day: ice cream sandwich

Disclaimer: you know the drill, unless you're very inattentive


Jack was starting to wish the world away, and in his time he wept for yesterday. Between his doctorial practices and his meals, he spent the more time than ever in the shoddy barber shop, forgetting who he was in the dark of the night. He was beginning to lose his conversations all together with Mattie. There was no longer silence in the corners of the room or his mind, but now he heard the tunes of trumpets, drums, cellos, and guitars. He always heard eerie music now, songs of death and love and loss and hate, and he learned those songs and hummed them to his reflection often. He heard this music that no one else heard whenever he was alone, but their comfort quickly left him whenever he was in the presence of Mattie. He had longed questioned her intentions, which as time passed seemed to be ones to hinder him. He longed for the quiet music in his head that was lost with Mattie's company. He was uncertain of his dismal future, but the music whispered to him that Mattie shouldn't be any part of it.

Despite her best attempts, she often received little more than a nod from him, and when she would visit him in the shop above, he simply stared at the window, paying no attention to her. If she brought him food or drink or any other means of comfort, he didn't touch it until Mattie had left the room, allowing the sweet sounds to fill him again, giving him comfort that was far greater than any peace of meat upon a platter that was touched by Mattie's filthy hands. Her relationship with Ethan Dolton continued, unbeknownst to Jack, although even if he did know, it is doubtful that he would have cared. Her devotion to Jack was increasing, leaving her in twisted confusion between him and Ethan. Ethan gave her a sensation of passion and love, yet Jack gave her a want that could not be suppressed. She desperately tried to break the barrier that was thickening between them, leaving her outside his isolated bubble. Neither words nor touch could pass through the line that was between the fantasies in his mind and the reality of Matties actions, and this left Jack alone in a depression of dreams and Mattie in a matrix of hope.

Mattie was hearing the effects of music too. Her once silent world was now sweeping with violins, piano, flutes, and harp strings that swayed to the beat of life. The melodies that only she heard were also ones of love, loss, death and hate, but they carried different meaning, reflecting her thoughts in a slightly more positive way. The spoke of devotion and want overcoming lost love, death, and hate from another, while Jack heard chants that filled him with resentment of the condition of the human race.

Sweeney and Nellie continued to make occasional personal visits to Jack and Mattie, though both never really left them alone, always making sure that they both received and understood the messages that they were given. Mattie was constantly told by Nellie to end her relationship with Ethan and stay with Jack; Sweeney always reminded Jack of Tobias, and the plan of assassination. Both were taking their tolls on the couple in body, mind, and spirit. They no longer possessed any golden glow in their skins, only pale, lifeless pigment that coated them like white paint. Their hair fell into disarray: Mattie no longer had cute little ringlets but a curly thicket that gave the appearance of a birds nest. Jacks neat waves now had scattered flyaways, and had not been combed in days. Their views of life were beginning to completely transform; Jack no longer looked upon the human race with hope, but with disgust and rage, and Mattie no longer saw the need to be independent, but realized that she needed someone constantly. Their spirits were fragments of what they once were, shattered by despair and hopelessness.

One particular Wednesday when Jack didn't have work, Mattie attempted to bring him outside the house, luring him to go see a comedic play with her. They attempted to make themselves look presentable, but their appearances had long fallen in disarray. Even after washing up, combing their hair, and putting on fresh clothing, they were still a ghastly sight to behold, even by London's standards. Their dark clothing and skin as pale as sin couldn't have been more contrasting, and they were reminiscent of zebras. It had been over two months since they had been together this long, and Mattie soaked up every minute of it, dwelling in Jacks presence as best as she could. But no matter how tight she held on to his arm, his focus was on the disgusting streets of London. It amazed him just how many prostitutes and drug dealers were diffused throughout the streets, as if there wasn't one bit of decent work left in this world. There they stood, waiting for their sinful jobs to pick up, which usually only really did late at night. So there they were, groping in their own misery and filthy clothing. Jack glared at them with ill contempt, the hate in his eyes burning a hole through their souls. They looked at him too, and shrank back slightly upon beholding the look that rested on his face.

"They all deserve to die," he whispered to himself.

"Hmm, wha'd you say?" Mattie asked, hoping that he didn't say what she thought she heard.

"Oh, nothing darling, I didn't say anything." She grunted, not pleased with his dishonest response. He walked with Mattie, having grave images about taking care of those filthy whores that dotted the streets, sending them to places where not even the crows could land their droppings on them. It would clean up the city and decrease the surplus population. Mattie noticed the grim expression on his face and traced his eyes to one particular woman that sat on a grimy stoop on the corner of the street. The sight was ungainly, but Mattie couldn't help but notice the malicious look upon Jack's face and felt perturbed. She was beginning to notice that Jack's personality was turning from depressed to something darker and more vicious. She tired to brush the image of his evil grin out of her thoughts as they approached the playhouse.

As Mattie had hoped, the play they saw was humerous and even Jack seemed to enjoy its sarcastic and clever wit. She felt a slight glimmer of the old Jack, glowing like a tiny flame flickering in the darkness. Still, she feared that its fuel source was slowly decreasing, ready to be consumed by the darkness at any point. She hoped that perhaps the extra chores and the little acts of kindness that she showed towards him would add to the dying glimmer of hope. This one precious day raised her spirits and hopes, as if time was going in reverse instead of forward. As they walked home arm in arm, a smile was traced upon her face that lasted all the way home.


A tap on the door signaled Ethan's arrival, and Mattie took one quick second in the mirror to guzzy up before she greeted him at the door with a kiss. They still made their tri-weekly visits much to her liking, though the feeling behind them became different than she remembered them being. She still took pleasure in his visits, but she was being revealed Ethan's true personality. He was likeable enough with his good looks, humor, care, and kiss, yet she was learning that he was also impatient, drank more often than needed, and slightly selfish. As her devotion to Jack increased, she began to notice these unlikable traits of Ethan more and more. It didn't help that Mrs. Lovett often visited her after their visits, often scolding her saying, "I told you to leave him, tha' he'll be the end 'o you." She tried her best to ignore her annoying lectures, but simply couldnt force her messages out of her mind. His greeting kiss perked her up, but never gave her the swooping emotion that she used to feel. She gave him a hug and let him inside the house. She poured him a glass of Earl Grey tea over a deep discussion of the nature of humanity. When they first met, they talked idly about silly things such as weather and politics, but as Mattie's personality darkened, their talks drew deeper and darker.

"What about, evil per say?" said Ethan in a bored tone, responding to her topic about the stain of the human condition. He wasn't too bothered by the discussions that she brought up, but he felt as if Mattie was just dragging down the day when they could be having good company and a fun time.

"I'm jus' saying, I think tha' evil is jus a state o' mind, 'n tha one is only evil if one believes tha' they are 'spose to be maleviolent. I don't know, wha' do you think?"

"Oh, I don't know, I 'spose that evil comes from wha' you experience, wha' you learn from the world," he said sipping his tea.

"Or perhaps it's something one always has 'ad that don't come out 'til the proper time," she said.

"You know, I don't think I'm in tha' mood for deep talk. Can't we do sumthin' more fun?" he said playfully. Mattie sighed, but gave a flirty smile in return. She got up from the table and gave Ethan a deep kiss. She felt his lips with great acceptance, forgetting all of her troubles for this one instant. In this one moment, she felt at place, like she was loved with a love that she no longer felt with Jack. The kiss grew more passionate, and in a fervor, she pressed herself against him. The sounds of the world softened, until all he could hear was the ruffle of their clothes and the moaning of his breath.

"I'd watch out if I were you," said Mrs. Lovett's voice. Mattie pulled away suddenly, causing Ethan to be disgruntled. She should have known that Mrs. Lovett would try something like this. Ethan didn't seem to hear the voice and therefore was agitated by the abrupt ending of their moment of passion. But just at that moment, Jack came in unexpectedly with a loud bang through the door. Mattie gave a silent thank you to Mrs. Lovett's heedful warning. Jack looked at Ethan, with slight confusion in his face, which was reflected off of Ethan's with equal intensity.

"Um, Ethan, thanks for stoppin' by, I guess I'll write soon," she said, scooting him out of the door as discreetly as she possibly could, though she was failing gloriously. She pushed Ethan out the door and closed it, nudging her head to the right as his signal to leave. He walked out of sight reluctantly, still confused over what had just happened. She turned to Jack, who was just as filled with questions as Ethan was.

"You-you're home awful early," Mattie said not letting her eyes off the floor boards. She began to pretend to remove a hair off of her sleeve.

"The hospital said I could leave early today," he said in a monotone voice. Awkwardness and uneasiness suffocated the room like a thick paste.

"Um, who was that, Mattie?" he asked.

"Oh, he was Ethan. He's an old friend tha' came to visit," she said as calmly as she could in a hope to cover her embarrassment. He decided that he didn't want to ask any more questions. He turned away from Mattie slowly and scuffled up the stairs to the barber shop. Once he was out of her sight, she buried her face in her hands, not even believing herself just how stupid she was, how close she was caught to being caught. Was any of this worth something anymore? she wondered. After a few minutes to herself she walked up the stairs after Jack.

Inside the room which supported the weight of the world sat Jack in the barber chair, holding an open razor in his right hand and examining its shine and his reflection closely. She approached him wearily, fearing the worst. She outstretched her right hand to slowly, cautiously touch his right shoulder. He didn't speak; he only stared at the silver blade.

"Jack, nothing happened-"

"How was your day today?" Jack asked in his usual voice, painfully trying to cover his suspicions. Mattie felt a great weight lift off of her shoulders. So maybe he didn't suspect anything, and he was just being himself.

"Well, Ethan came over. He's a friend you see," she said calmly. She wanted to slap her self for sounding so fack, but Jack didn't seem to notice. He simply grunted in return but didn't speak any words in response. There was a veil of silence that placed a barrier of silence between the two, even though their faces were nearly touching. The only sound that could be heard was their heavy breathing, slowly filling their ears with desperation. Her near obsession with this unrequited love tormented Mattie beyond words. She wanted to hold him, touch him, and kiss his softly. Her heart poured out to him silently, but she felt no returning vibe, no response in his breathing or behavior. Why had he fallen out of himself? What had changed? Finally, Mattie decided to untie her lips.

"Jack?" she asked. He grunted in recognition.

"Do-do you still love me?" It took her great difficulty to ask this question, but it was one that she had been dying to ask for what seemed like ages. Thinking all of a sudden, she realized that she couldn't remember the last time he uttered the words I love you to her. He turned his face from the razor and pierced her eyes with his black ones. He slowly stood up and walked towards the broken reflective glass and stared at Mattie and his broken images.

"You'll never know how much those words have haunted me," he said. She looked at him confused. "With everything, all of these ideas I've been opened up to...I just can't anymore," he said sadly.

"Wha' are you talkin about?" she said with a quivering lip. But the question didn't have a simple answer, and nothing Jack could think of seemed to fit. His mind was crowded out; no room was left with a decent answer to reply to her. He thought to himself for a few minutes, and in his blocked thoughts, music formed in his head. This was the first time he'd ever hear its sweet music in Matties presence, and he wasn't sure why it chose to appear at this very instant. Mattie looked her eyes around as the sound of a soothing guitar filled her mind as well. The music never haunted her when she wasn't alone, and she possessed the same questions as Jack were thinking. Words formed in Jack's head as the lyrics to accompany the sweet guitar that filled both of their heads. Jack opened his lips and sang softly into the empty spaces.

"Part of me has died, and won't return. And part of me wants to hide the part that's buried. Once, I knew how to talk to you. Once, but not anymore." Mattie's eyes filled with water as they blinked at the sound of Jacks sad voice. He gazed into his very soul in the mirror, looking into the distant corners of his mind. He pictured a paradise where all the ghosts and demons would go away. He so longed to feel a place of joy and love once again, but that was no longer possible. He was no longer the naive, foolish boy he was, but a troubled, emotionally tortured man. He felt that all the love in the world was swallowed by evil and corruptness, never to be spat out. He looked upon the face of death, upon the knowledge that the happy dagger would probably be his only escape. The next few lines of his song made him overcome with emotion as he whispered the lyrics with quiet intensity and passion.

"I hear the sirens call me home. Hear the sirens call me home," he sang as he envisioned a chorus of voices guiding him to peace of mind at last, his eyes watering. He begged the demons of his mind to depart, but they only stood back in his mind, laughing. He wished he could love Mattie again, but it wasn't the same. His foolish infatuation never was real, and never would be real. The visions had told him that such a love couldn't be, and he no longer felt love for her. He only felt...emptiness that couldn't be filled. Mattie hugged his arm tightly and placed her cheek against his shoulder. This was her paradise, right here with Jack, him feeling what she was feeling: a want of better days and happy dreams. But from hearing his words, she felt a prick on her heart, and realized that the last glimmer of hope for love was gone, leaving her in the darkness. She joined in his song, only the words had different meaning to her than to Jack; she sang with hopeless love to him words that begged him to give her a sign of his love, even though it was useless.

"I hear the sirens call me home. I hear the sirens call me home," she sang softly to him, tightening her arms around his, staring at their picture, shattered by the cursed mirror, displaying the mere fragments left in their relationship. He tugged his arm away from hers and turned away from the mirror. He began to look out the window into the bright orange sunset. Pink clouds darted the sky and gave the streets of London more color than they have seen for quite some time. It looked so pretty, yet it was cynical. Only now, when all hope and love was gone did London finally decide to beautify itself, sarcastically laughing in their despair.

"Part of me has vied to watch it burn. And the heart of me has tried, but look what it's become. Once, I knew how to look for you. Once, but that was before. Once, I would have lay down and died for you. Once, but not anymore. And I hear the sirens call me home," he sang while gazing into the setting sun and wishing to be swept away by its light into the distant horizon. Mattie once again placed her cheek upon his broad shoulder, seeking comfort in their similar, feelings.

"I hear the sirens call me home. Hear the sirens call me home," they sang together while swaying slightly to the music, feeling peace in their own world, but they were completely detached from each other's presence. No longer were they Mr. and Mrs. Driskall, they were only Jack and Mattie, two lost souls longing for comfort, but not a hand reached out in return. They were gone, dreaming of love and hope once more, but those days were gone, the past that was never to be relived again. The song faded into the distant as the sun set behind the hazy sky. Jack didn't look at Mattie, whose eyes were streaming with tears. She would keep trying, she would, even though she already knew her efforts were and always would be fruitless. She released herself from him, and walked down the stairs without looking back as Jack gazed at the skyline, a tear rolling down his cheek. The voices never left him, the voices of the dead, and they never would until he greeted them face to face. He plumped himself in the barbers chair and fell into the deepest sleep of his life.