A/N: I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!
Thank you to Jayeliwood for beta-ing this chapter (and catching a ton of continuity errors and such)!
Butter
"Tell me again - why are you making me come out with you guys?" I asked for what must have been the millionth time.
"Because, I'm your older brother, and I know that you're sadly lacking a social life here. And Liz bribed me." replied Emmett, who was rubbing a towel through his wet hair.
I ignored his reply, unsurprised that he had been bribed into making me come to tonight. It wasn't the first time it had happened. We were going to see a movie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and I. Something about a city, and sex, or some other moronic concept. Rosalie had chosen it, and Emmett, who seemed to be her personal lapdog these days, had obliged.
As I headed towards my room to take a shower I glanced at my watch – almost four in the afternoon. Before I could stop them, my thoughts drifted to Bella. They had been doing that a lot this week, even though I hadn't seen her since… Oh god.
Tuesday night played over and over again in my head. It was like a scene from a movie on a scratched DVD. It was never-ending, and I cringed as I neared the end each time. I felt like a child at a pantomime, screaming "She's behind you!" while the lead actor continues on, oblivious.
How had she seen right through me like that? I couldn't help but wonder. When she had looked at me that night, searching my face, I felt as if I was being X-rayed. I felt so transparent around her.
I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind and pushed the bathroom door open. In the shower I concentrated on every tiny chore. I made sure I shampooed for a full minute. I counted the ceiling tiles while I rinsed. I did everything I could to prevent my mind from wandering back to Bella. It did no good of course; there she was, in the back of my mind. What was she doing right now? Was she still sick in bed?
Was she alright?
I almost gasped out loud as that thought popped into my head. Since when did I care if she was alright? I shouldn't care. Why did I care?
I stepped out of the shower, towel wrapped around my waist, just as the back door slammed. Intrigued, I peaked through the small window blind. My bathroom window overlooked the back garden, so I had a perfect view of the scene below me.
Rosalie was strolling across the yard, waving at someone in the distance. Before I could look to see who she was waving at I heard her shouting.
"Oh, Al-ice!" she sang, as my eyes followed the direction in which she was heading. There, sitting on the fence was Alice, and below her, sitting on the grass, was Bella. I immediately stepped away from the window – seeing her only brought back the guilt.
I grabbed another towel from the rack and rubbed my hair roughly – it would be a mess no matter what I did with it – before heading back to my room the get changed. The movie didn't start until seven, but we were going to get a bite to eat first at Marty's.
Pulling on my jeans I glanced through the gap in my curtains. Bella, Alice and Rosalie were still outside by the fence. I noticed that Bella was dressed, and didn't look ill at all.
Wait, that meant…
"Edward!"
I groaned before grabbing a shirt and following my brother's voice downstairs. I found him in the living room, hunched over, holding what looked to be…
"Jesus, Emmett! What the hell?"
"What?" he turned around to face me "I can't remember which flavor Rose said she liked best." He was examining the small packets in his hands closely. "What do you think, strawberry or chocolate?"
"Emmett, I do not need to know what flavor condom your girlfriend likes best!"
"You don't, but I do!" he turned back to the condoms in his hand as I grimaced, remembering how little sleep I had gotten the previous night. I made a mental note to buy headphones for my stay here. Speakers were simply not enough.
"Just… put them away, will you?" I snapped. This conversation was making me highly uncomfortable.
A cheeky grin appeared on his face then, his dilemma momentarily forgotten, "Jeez, Edward, just because you're a virgin doesn't mean you have to be such a prude. You know, I'd be more than willing to teach you how to pick up chi – "
"Emmett!"
"Fine, but the offers there…" he trailed off and I used the opportune silence to ask him about my recent revelation.
"Er- Who did you say was coming tonight?" I asked, hoping he wouldn't notice my anxious tone.
"Rose, Jasper, Alice and Bella. We're going to have to take two cars." He replied, stuffing both packets in his pocket.
Internally I groaned, praying this night would go better than Monday's disastrous meal had.
"When are we leaving?" I asked, while pulling my shirt over my head.
"We, as in, Rose and I, are leaving in two hours. You, who will be riding with Jasper, Alice and Bella, are leaving in one."
I opened my mouth to argue but he beat me to it. "Do you really want to be in the same car as me and Rose, Eddie?"
No, definitely not.
I huffed anyway before thumping back up to my room. Instinctively I looked out my window again, searching for the girls, but they were gone. I frowned – where had they gone? Where had she gone?
I cringed again and began hitting my head off the wall in an effort to rid my mind of Bella. Why couldn't I get her out of head? Was it guilt? It had to be, it wasn't as if I liked her. I didn't know her, it would be impossible. And pointless; very pointless. I couldn't deal with a relationship right now. There wasn't even any point in making friends here - I'd be leaving in less than 3 months for college.
And yet, as I stepped away from the wall with a pounding head, I couldn't help thinking; maybe I did want to make friends here. Maybe I did want to be friends with Bella. Being friends couldn't be that bad. I couldn't get my heart broken just from being friends…
No, no, no, no…
I was going in circles.
The Volvo glided quietly into the Swan's drive. Jasper was in the passenger seat next to me; we were picking up Alice and Bella. I wondered why they didn't just meet us at the Masen's, but Jasper said he was on strict orders from Alice - we had to pick them up.
As soon as the car came to a halt Jasper was out of the car and ringing the doorbell. I sighed and got out of the car with more reluctance. I went to go stand beside Jasper, who was on the porch, his hands in his pockets. I glanced at him furtively. He was the picture of ease. I, however, was overcome with anxiety. I didn't understand my nervousness, and the fact that this felt like a double date was not helping.
Finally, the door swung open to reveal Alice, dressed in a sailor outfit, who immediately jumped at Jasper. He caught her naturally and kissed her forehead. I couldn't help the pang of jealousy I felt – Tanya and I had never embraced like that.
I was so busy watching Alice and Jasper's exchange that I did not notice her at the door. I should have. When I turned around and saw her all I could think was that I really should have.
Bella was dressed in a simple dress, short, floral pattern, paired with even simpler black flats, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. Her hair fell in loose curls past her shoulder, and her eyes, as deep as ever, were framed by the longest lashes I had ever seen. Her full lips were blood red, and when I saw her bite them, my jaw dropped.
Her eyes met mine for the first time in days, and that same spark flickered between us. But this time it was different. There was something else there tonight.
She tore her gaze away from me and I was sorry for it. So sorry, in fact, that I continued to stare at her, not realizing someone was calling my name.
"Earth to Edward… Hello?" Alice was waving a hand in front of my face, obscuring Bella from view. Immediately I snapped out of my daze and got into the car without a word. Once inside I cupped my face in my hands, breathing heavily. The glass was tinted; they wouldn't be able to see.
What the hell had come over me? Why couldn't I stop staring? What was that emotion I had felt when she had bitten her lip?
Lust.
I growled in frustration with myself. And with Bella. Why did she have to look so… tempting? I couldn't hide it anymore. I had feelings for her – that much was obvious. My main concern was what I was going to do about them.
The back door opened and I heard Alice whispering something to someone. Jasper got into the car, but the whispering continued, so I knew she must have been talking to Bella.
"How long, Edward?" I turned around to see Jasper looking at me curiously.
"What?"
"How long have you liked Bella?"
"I – I don't…" I stammered in reply. Was he a mind reader or something?
He chuckled and bent down to fasten his seat belt. "Dude, you couldn't have been more obvious if your eyes had popped out of your head."
I didn't know how to reply so I simply turned around and started the engine.
The girls, still in hissed conversation, noticed this and immediately hopped into the car, Alice looking annoyed over something. Bella sat in the front seat, previously occupied by Jasper, and began fidgeting as we drove off. I gritted my teeth to keep from saying anything to her. I exhaled deeply, causing her to glance in my direction. I met her eyes again, and only when she blinked did I finally turn back to the road. The tension between us was too much to take.
I had it bad.
The drive to Marty's was torture. The silence unbearable. Even Alice was quiet, and I caught her looking at Bella and I through the rear-view mirror. Finally, the small café came into view and I pulled into the first parking space I saw.
The place wasn't overly busy – lunchtime rush had ended hours ago. We slid into a booth, Jasper on my right, Bella and Alice facing us. We ordered milkshakes and they had just arrived when Emmett and Rose came running through the door, panting. Emmett's hair was standing on end, and Rosalie's shirt was buttoned wrong. Jasper smirked at the pair while Alice bit her lip to keep from laughing. I looked over at Bella who I still hadn't said a word to this evening. She was nervously trailing her finger along the rim of her glass.
Emmett slid in beside me while Rosalie sat beside Bella. He had a silly grin on his face – one similar to the smile Rosalie was trying to fight back. It didn't take a genius to work out why they were late.
"Rose, strawberry milkshake, yes?" said Emmett, his grin widening.
I closed my eyes, cringing just thinking about our earlier conversation.
"Oh now you remember…" I heard Rosalie say, and I could imagine her mock scowl.
"Edward looks like he's in pain." mused Alice, and my eyes snapped open. She was looking at me curiously, head cocked to the side.
I glared at Emmett but he didn't even have the decency to look guilty. Instead, he continued to grin with an air of smugness. I shook my head in disbelief.
We stayed in Marty's for a long time, so long in fact, that the waitresses were getting rather annoyed with us. Eventually, after Emmett had knocked back his 4th milkshake we departed the café. I left a generous tip on the table.
It took me only 10 minutes to find the movie theater, Jasper giving me directions from the seat behind. I pulled in and Alice hopped out almost immediately, dragging Bella out with her. She muttered something about "girl talk" before the door slammed shut.
I turned to look at Jasper, eyebrows raised. "Do I even want to know?"
"No, I don't think so. Ignorance is always best in these situations; trust me." He replied, patting me on the shoulder before getting out of the car.
Emmett and Rosalie were already seated when we made our way into the crowded theater. The lights had already gone out and the previews were running. Bella and Alice still hadn't returned from their "talk". What the hell were they talking about? Before I had time to ponder this further the pair appeared at the entrance, only their silhouettes visible in the dark room. I glanced quickly around me and noticed that while Emmett was beside me on the left hand side, the seat on my right was empty. Jasper had chosen to sit in the one next to it instead. Oh crap.
The girls made their way down the aisle to where we were seated, and Alice slid straight into the seat to the right of Jasper. I looked up to see Bella with a look of indecision on her face. She looked awkward, almost afraid, and I knew exactly why; the only seat left was beside me.
I took a deep breath before gesturing to the seat next to me, "Bella, would you like to sit here?"
Five heads turned in my direction - mouths wide open - including Bella. She was looking at me with such a shocked expression on her face that for a moment I thought that she had had a stroke. Everyone's eyes were on us, darting back and fourth between our faces, waiting for Bella's response. She regained her composure quickly however, mumbling a "Yes, thank you." before she sat down next to me.
Our friends continued to shoot incredulous looks at the two of us (except for Alice, who hadn't at all seemed nonplussed by the situation) until finally the opening credits began, and they turned to watch the movie. I relaxed, glad to be free of their stares, and felt Bella do the same beside me.
I stared at the screen, not seeing it at all. I seemed to be in a daze. I couldn't focus on anything except Bella sitting just a few inches from me. She was using neither armrest, hands instead clutching a bucket of popcorn close to her chest. I used this time in the dark to study her face, find out why I found her so appealing. The light from the screen danced across her features, her eyes almost sparkling. I watching her reactions to the movie carefully, memorizing every smile, every gasp, every eyebrow raise. For me there was nothing on that screen. There was only this girl beside me, who had me completely hooked.
I had to look quickly away when I thought she had noticed my staring of course. This happened a few times throughout the film, yet I couldn't help but continue my inspection when her attention had returned to the screen.
We were half way through the film (I guessed, since I wasn't actually paying attention) when it happened. Emmett nudged me, and whispered in my ear, "If you're done staring at her will you ask if she'll pass me her popcorn?" Internally I cursed for being so damn obvious, and turned to Bella.
"My brother wants to know if he can have some of your popcorn." I said quietly. I was nervous, speaking to her while she was in such close proximity, but I fought the urge to run when she turned to me. Silently she passed me the bucket, which I then gave to Emmett. He scooped a handful of buttery popcorn out before passing the now half-empty tub back to me.
Feeling Bella's gaze on my back I turned and held out the tub for her to take. She reached out, and in that moment, when our hands touched, I felt some sort of current run through me, almost like I had stuck a fork into a socket. We both quickly removed our hands, both feeling as if we had been scalded, and the popcorn bucket went tumbling to the ground. Popcorn spilled everywhere, including all over Bella and I, leaving us both a buttery mess.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry!" she muttered frantically, hurrying to clean up the mess. She was trying to pick up all the popcorn that had fallen, while simultaneously trying to clean the butter of her dress.
"It's fine, Bella." I whispered, bending down so she could hear me. She was on the floor now, reaching under her seat for stray pieces.
"We're – we're covered in butter. I'm sorry, I've ruined your shirt…" She whispered back, looking up at me like a deer caught in headlights.
Was she scared of me?
As this realization came crashing down on me I knew what had to be done.
I reached down and grasped her arm, this time ignoring the shock that went through me when we touched. Gently I pulled her up, getting up from the seat myself. I led her out onto the aisle, trying to pretend I couldn't feel our friends staring at us as we left.
When we reached the lobby I let go of her and spun around to face her.
She wasn't looking at me. In fact, she wasn't looking at anything. Her eyes were shut, and she was breathing deeply, almost as if to calm herself.
However her eyes fluttered open at my next words.
"Bella, I've been an absolute bastard."
"What?"
"I – I've been taking all of this… all of my… problems… out on you."
"I – "
"No, listen. This…" I struggled to find the right words. "The way I've been acting… you didn't do anything wrong. And, I'm sorry if I made you feel like you did. That was not my intention."
She gaped at me, unable to speak. I continued on.
"I came to Phoenix to escape something, or more specifically, someone. And, when we met I felt…" I closed my eyes, mimicking Bella's earlier breathing. "I don't hate you, Bella. How could I?" I muttered the last part to myself, but I knew she heard.
"Bella," I was whispering now, and I took a step towards her. "Please forgive me. I take it back. I take it all back. I'll understand if you don't want to, after the jerk I've been, but can we please just… start over? Be… be…" I paused, trying to gauge her reaction. I'm sure my face was full of desperation now, and I prayed she wouldn't completely crush me. "Can we please be friends?"
Her brown eyes seemed to smolder in the poorly lit lobby. The deep pools were filled with an emotion I didn't recognize; they gave me no clues as to what her response would be.
Finally, after a few tortuous seconds, she leaned forward and whispered,
"Okay."
So, was this what you guys wanted? Since I'll probably be asked this; no they are not "together" at this point. They are agreeing to be friends. I have some plans though ;)
Review and tell me your opinions! Please? (yes, I'm actually resorting to begging). I never understood how important reviews were until I started writing this. Honestly, it gives me such an elated feeling when I open my inbox and find so many people like my story. When I read reviews I get this weird urge to write the next chapter as soon as possible. Seriously, they mean so much to me, and I do read every single one!
