Dead on the Inside
Chapter Seven: Letters of Love
Sirius
We stood in a line waving to Lily, Remus, Tonks, Molly and Arthur on Platform Nine and 3/4. I teased Emma reminding her of the beginning of the school year, and waved like a princess. Emma ignored me and called out her goodbyes.
"Bye Everyone, I'll make sure to send Munches around with your gifts!" I grabbed her hand mid-wave and then promptly apperated to the front door of Grimmauld Place. James followed behind us with his stuff, and the stuff Emma didn't get a chance to grab. As we entered the house I let out an aggravated sigh. This house caused a lot of memories I really wanted to bury. I could hear my brother talking to Kreacher in the kitchen as we walked by.
"Emmy you can have the guest room, and James you get the Drawing room. When you're done putting up your stuff I think a snack is ready in the kitchen," I told the siblings. We parted ways to unpack. I went up to my room so that I could think. I began to brood a little when my line of thought was broken by a knock on the door.
"Hey, is it okay if I come in?" Emma called. I got up and let her in and went back to my corner of the bed. With a soft smile on her face Emma gaped at all the photos, muggle and non on my wall. I observed that the motorbikes were the ones with the most interest to her.
"I put all these up, just because my mother told me not to."
"What about your dad?"
"He left after my brother was born, I really don't know if he would have cared though," I replied avoiding her searching blue eyes. She sat on the edge of the bed, a little ways a part from me, still gazing about the room. I started intently out the window pretending that watching James talk to his owl was amusing. Emma touched my leg, almost making me jump.
"You seem a little bit down in the dumps, is everything okay?" She asked. I so wished that I could tell her what was really bothering me. I wanted to say, 'Em you know how in fairy tales there is always the man that looks out for the girl? Well I want, no, I NEED to be that man that stands by your side and holds your hand.' But I didn't. No, instead I lied to her and told her nothing was wrong.
"Well, if there's anything, anything at all you need to talk about just let me know okay?" She got up to leave and stopped at the door. With that caring smile still on her face she looked me in the eye.
"You know, James feels really bad about the whole 'Halloween Scare' thing," She began using the code name we founded to talk about Halloween. "I know you two are cool again and everything, but I just want you to know how bad he felt, and how much it meant that you stayed with him. You are his best friend, and he wouldn't trade you for the world." Hearing those words made me feel a lot better. I stood up and started to go over to her when James burst in pushing Emma into the wall.
"Oh, sorry sis! You two have to come see this, both Regulas and Kreacher are stuck in the snow, and I didn't have anything to do with it!" He continued to hold the door open, pinning Emma to the wall. I pushed him playfully and raced him down the stairs. I forgot to make sure Emma was okay, but she didn't sound hurt. I heard her as she followed us down to the front door, but stopped when she kicked over the troll leg umbrella stand. Cursing she turned it over and promptly marched out side. James and I had fallen to the snow with laughter but Emma was always thinking.
"Would you two boobs get out of the snow and help me get Kreacher out of the snow. If a muggle sees him…" She said kicking snow at her brother. He rolled in the snow like a dog ignoring him. To show him how it's really done I quickly transformed and began to roll about letting the snow get in my fur. Emma gave me that look and plucked Kreacher from the snow bank. He began to scream in protest, his awful wailing hurting my now super sensitive ears.
"Oh suck up, you'll live!" She yelled opening the door and throwing the elf inside and slamming it in his face. I transformed back and sat in the snow, shocked. James looked like Professor Dumbledore had pranced by naked.
"Whoa who peed in your pumpkin juice?!" James asked flabbergasted. I pressed my jaw back into place and let out a loud laugh. My mood had lightened a lot. Sadly Emma's got heavier.
"I think it was the troll leg, wait, can it pee? Oh oh, maybe somebody didn't take their PMS Potion!" As I said it James chucked a huge snowball at my head. In return I lobbed one back but it hit Emma instead. Sighing she walked away from us. Calling a momentary pause I ran over to her.
"Em I'm sorry, can I make it up to you?"
"Don't worry about it, just go have fun."
"What about a ride on the motorcycle?"
"Can I take a rain check?"
"You sure you're okay?" I asked, Emma never gives up a bike ride. She didn't answer at first. She shook the snow from her hair and then fakes a smile. I could always tell when her smile was fake; she wasn't smiling with her eyes.
"I'll be fine my thoughts are just getting to me that's all." That ending the conversation I went back to kick the living Merlin out of him. We waited until Emma was in the house before we began, just so her wrath was not brought down upon us.
"When I'm done with you, they'll be no more wizard left!"
"Man, miss anti-social missed out on the biggest snowball war since the dawn of snowball wars!" James called up the stairs as loud as he could. Normally Emma jumped right in when we had snowball wars, but today her heart wasn't in it. James wiped a huge patch of snow off his shoulder and forced it into my face. Laughing I shook off my wet hair at him.
"Yeah Emmy you missed it I kicked your brother's sad pathetic little…" I got cut off when James lurched up the stairs. The troll leg was up turned again. I laughed and grabbed an umbrella waving it in his face. Darting up the stairs I threw the umbrella back into the stand. Then I went to check on Emma.
"Hey Emmy? Em, come out come out where ever you are…?" I whispered nudging the door of the guest room open. On the bed was Emma, sleeping soundly. On her chest was Hogwarts A History. I picked up the book to put it away and a letter fell out. Munches ruffled his feathers, almost telling me not to read it.
"What do you care?" I asked him. He turned his back on me and let me read in peace. The letter was from Remus, who the twins had known since they were four. That didn't surprise me, what did was what the letter was about.
Dear Em,
You shouldn't worry too much, everything will be alright. With Dumbledore taking care of the Order James, Sirius and I are perfectly safe. It would be foolish for Lucius to make a new move. If you're worried about the other thing we talked about, don't be. I know that the reaction you will get is far from what you think it will be. You don't have to have a crystal ball to tell that he feels the same way. Go ahead and ask.
I believe in you,
Remy (Moony)
I noticed that the letter was faded and old. The date at the top was from this last summer. I put the letter down and gazed attentively at Emma. She looked so angelic as she slept. I tucked her in, trying not to drip freezing water on her, and watched for a bit as she slept.
"Who is that you have feelings for? Not that it's my business, I just want to know…" I mumbled out loud. I smiled to myself and kissed her forehead. Before I walked out I said.
"No, I don't want to know, I need to know."
