This one starts with Karen's section! I really have to hand it to her, she is way better at the whole informational narrative thing than I am. The way I write tends to drag things out through dialogue and action, which is good sometimes but I think lengthens things unnecessarily? There are a lot of times I find myself thinking, but can't I just say what happens next without actually going into it? Karen is really good at doing that, which is good, because I am just awful at it. XD

Oh, and there's some swearing in this chapter. Just a heads-up.

We own nothing! Nothing at all!


Chapter 7: An End

Megamind visits Roxanne every night that week up until Friday. That night he gets arrested, but returns on Sunday afternoon as if nothing had happened. She returns to work on Monday, her yellow bruise easily concealed from everyone.

They fall into a routine where Megamind will arrive, usually by her balcony, around six thirty to share dinner and spend a few hours in her company before he reluctantly leaves her for the evening. Sometimes Minion comes along, sometimes not. They're careful to include him and not make him feel unwelcome. The evenings when they're alone begin to stretch later and later into the night and they find it increasingly difficult to part ways. It's only a matter of time, of course. On a Thursday evening during the third week they're together Megamind admits that he loves her and she says she feels the same. That night they become lovers.

That same week he introduces her to Nico, a self-described gypsy, though she has her doubts as to whether that ancestry is authentic. Megamind whisks her in unseen through the back of a little shop to a private room where Nico usually reads fortunes and conducts séances. Though most of his work is theatrics rather than spiritualism, the man really is psychic and they meet together twice a week for a month while Roxanne masters the basics. Nico tells her that using psychic powers is like driving a car, you have to learn the rules and how everything works, but after that it's just a matter of practice.

She refuses to visit the aliens at Evil Lair and insists that they don't even tell her where it is. "Plausible deniability," she explains, and discourages them from telling her anything specific about any upcoming evil plans. "After you've done it, you can tell me all about it. But don't tell me any of it ahead of time."

Megamind's epic battles of evil against good become fewer and farther between. He just can't muster the same enthusiasm for the game without her participation. Also, each time Metro Man hauls him off to prison, that's a few days that he doesn't get to be with her. This early in their new relationship, any absence is painful and they tend to spend their time apart mooning over each other.

The people that work with Roxanne notice the change in her behavior and quickly guess she has a new boyfriend. When she refuses to share any details, they whisper that there must be something wrong with him. Probably married, they guess, delighting over the imagined scandal. The only one who doesn't notice is Hal Stuart, who continues to hit on her with the same optimistic regularity as before.

It takes Metro Man two months to suspect that something has changed. Eventually, compelled to learn what's going on, he uses his powers to spy on Roxanne's apartment after spotting brainbots crouched on her building. He watches on and off for several days as the pair meet up after Roxanne gets home from work and go about their evening activities. He always turns away when they slip off to the bedroom because spying on that is beneath him. It's clear that neither is coerced and that both are perfectly comfortable and happy in the other's company. It seems incongruent to watch the little guy act like an ordinary man with his girlfriend. He's conflicted on what to do about the situation and is surprised at his own reluctance to expose them and destroy their happiness. It's clear that he and the supervillain need to have a talk.

Megamind doesn't have any warning when it happens. One moment he's slipping out onto the balcony so his brainbots can fly him down to his car. The next instant Roxanne's patio chair creaks as Metro Man just appears in it, seated with his crossed ankles propped on the matching table. The first thing out of the hero's mouth is a question. "How long?"

—..—..—..—..—

He jumps halfway out of his skin and whips around, breathing hard—it isn't like him to let his guard down, but he really hadn't been expecting Metro Man to show up here, of all places. "Can you maybe not do that here?" he hisses. "The whole Batman routine is getting very old."

"It's not the only thing," Metro Man replies, making Megamind pull back a little and blink a few times, "but I dunno about 'very.' Seriously, though, how long?"

Megamind just gives him a dirty look and vaults neatly over the rail. Metro Man isn't prepared for that, and he jolts out of his chair and leaps after the little guy in a panic only to feel very silly indeed when he sees him flitting away with a cadre of brainbots. So he follows down the street and into an alley, where the bots drop Megamind by what can only be the invisible car. It flickers into the visible spectrum, and Megamind hops inside without a word and slams the door after him. The conversation is clearly over.

Except he doesn't pull away. He sits with the car idling in the alleyway until Metro Man finally shrugs and climbs awkwardly in the passenger seat, and then he puts the car in gear and peels backwards onto the street. "Months. Never mind how many." He doesn't look at Metro Man, doesn't see the hero looking supremely uncomfortable on the other side of the car. Before, Metro Man had the advantage; he still has the villain off his guard but at least now they're on Megamind's turf. "I've been visiting her for years, we corresponded without meeting for ages, and we've been dating for months now. Nice of you to finally catch on. What tipped you off?" They squeal around a corner quickly and sharply enough to make Metro Man plant a hand on the roof and the door with a gasp.

"Th—Okay, can you stop that?" he demands. "With the turning and the braking and the lead foot? I startled you, okay, we're even. I'm gonna be sick on your upholstery if you don't stop it." For all his aerial maneuvers, he has never been good at being a passenger.

Megamind doesn't reply, but he does slow down enough to start using his turn signals, and that's something.

"I dunno, little buddy, you were so quiet for a while there. I thought for sure you had something big up your sleeve and you were just biding your time like usual, but it wasn't adding up—my contacts said you were being way quieter than normal." He rolls his eyes. "And then I saw brainbots on her building. Started following you about a week ago. Seriously? You two are—"

"Yes, yes," Megamind cuts him off with a nasty edge to his voice, "big surprise to everyone. What are you, going to threaten me? Going to warn me away again?"

It's like Metro Man didn't even notice. "—I mean, frickin' finally, jeez louise, it took you long enough," he snaps, and Megamind's whole upper body turns so fast he accidentally bonks the side of his head against the top of the windshield.

"What?" he gasps. "But...you said, you always said if I went anywhere near her that way you'd wring my skinny neck. I heard you."

"Oh, and I totally expected you to listen." There's a surprising amount of sarcasm in his reply. "Yeah. Sure. I figured you knew what I meant. If you hurt her."

"You did not mean 'if you hurt her,'" he snaps. "You meant 'stay away.'"

"Don't you put words in my mouth," Metro Man warns. "Don't you dare. I didn't think she'd go for you, and I didn't want you misinterpreting her, and I figured it would be easier for both of you if you just never bothered with those sorts of feelings. You generally aren't very good with emotions or trusting people. Where are we going?"

"Not the Lair; what am I, stupid? And don't change the subject." They hang a left. "Are you serious? What are you, her brother? You know, I'm not the one you should have been protecting her from. And screw you with my emotions, you don't know me."

Metro Man heaves a long-suffering sort of sigh. "Look. I just want to know what you're planning. She's not my girlfriend but she is important to me, so if this is all some sort of weird game on your part..."

"It's not."

He waits for more of a response, but that's all Megamind says. "You sure? 'Cause I'm really confused, here, and an explanation would really—"

"I never thought I could have this, you know," he says abruptly. If Metro Man is bent on having this conversation, they might as well get all of it out of the way. "A girlfriend. A life that doesn't revolve around constant scheming. Something that resembles normality. Never really thought that would ever be an option, and I...I mean, villainy was the only place I could at least pretend I was happy. And—"

He nearly explodes. "Are you kidding? You're a hugely successful pain in my ass, what the heck do you have to be sad about?"

Megamind peers at him curiously. "What makes you think I need something to be sad about? I wasn't happy, that's all there is to it. I can be sad for no reason. I don't need a reason to be sad."

—..—..—..—..—

"Okaaay... You actually want the normal, boring wife and a house with a picket fence life?"

"More than you can possibly imagine," he answers seriously, the muscles in his jaw clenching and his gloved hands gripping the steering wheel hard enough to make the leather creak.

"Wouldn't you be bored out of your giant blue mind?"

He stares straight ahead. When he speaks, his voice is low and carefully neutral, "I remember that my people paired off into couples. I think they married, like humans. Why is it strange that I might want a chance to do the same?"

The silence stretches out long and uncomfortable. Traffic slows around them and Megamind is forced by the car in front of him to stop for the light. He glares at it for daring to delay him, then reaches forward to press a green button on the dashboard. Two seconds later (much sooner than it should have) the light in front of them turns green and traffic moves forwards. Metro Man rolls his eyes and looks out the side window to find a boy in the next car over pointing excitedly at him through his window. The boy's mother looks over and is clearly surprised and then appalled to see him sitting in Megamind's car. This doesn't look good, he thinks, covering his eyes in dismay. He opens his mouth to ask Megamind to flip on the invisibility mode, but before he can, Megamind says in a soft, determined voice, "I won't give her up."

"I wasn't going to ask you to, little buddy," he answers, his audience forgotten.

Megamind makes a sharp left-hand turn into a gravel alley that leads to another street. Rocks fly up behind them as he punches the gas. "Then why are you talking to me?"

"I don't know. I guess I just wanted to know what was going on." He braces his feet on the floor, anticipating another sharp turn coming up.

"Well, now you know." Hitting the next street, he turns right, fishtailing slightly and causing traffic to swerve to avoid him. He grins hard. "Hell has frozen over and I have a girlfriend. Obviously, the world is coming to an end."

"You're putting words in my mouth again."

Megamind doesn't answer. He pulls into the parking lot of a Dunkin' Donuts and heads to the drive-thru lane. He revs the engine twice and the two cars in front of him in line scatter, leaving the speaker clear for him. He rolls down the window and orders two of the largest coffees they have and a dozen assorted donuts. Metro Man is surprised that he actually pays for the order when he gets to the window. Megamind tosses the box carelessly into the backseat, sets one coffee into a cupholder, and hands the other to his passenger. Then he tears off into traffic again. Metro Man narrowly avoids spilling coffee all over his uniform.

Once they're headed steadily in one direction again, the big man relaxes enough to continue the conversation. "It'll come out eventually. What will you do then?"

"We'll figure it out when it happens."

"She'll lose her job," the hero predicts.

Megamind nods, sparing a glance at Metro Man. "She knows. She says TV news girls have a limited shelf life anyway. She's expecting it."

"You two gonna be like Bonnie and Clyde, then?" he asks, keeping his tone carefully light.

"You know how that ended, right?" Megamind responds seriously.

"Why do you think I'm concerned?" It's the main thing Metro Man's worried about. That Megamind will corrupt his friend, dragging her into his life of crime.

—..—..—..—..—

This is weird enough already, and Metro Man's apparent concern for Roxanne is what finally makes Megamind lose his temper. He's been trying to stay calm, trying to keep his voice low and remain civil, but he and Metro Man just go too far back for that. He blows his top. "Look, you think I wanted to be locked into a life of evilness and crime? Maybe you don't remember, but I do. I remember the fact that I was evil being beaten into me by adults and children alike all throughout the never-ending fuckup that was my excuse for a childhood. They told me—you told me!" he corrects himself suddenly, much to Metro Man's surprise. "To my face! Twice!—that I would never be normal, I didn't have a chance, and I should give up now and stop trying to fight it."

"But—" he tries to say, but Megamind steamrolls right over him.

"So you know what I did?" he demands, breathing hard through his nose, suddenly quiet. "I gave up. I said, fine. You know what? Fine. I guess, if everyone says I'm a bad person and a failure and a screw-up and I'll never amount to anything as long as I live...well, I guess they must be right. But there was one thing everyone agreed I was good at, and that was being evil. So that's what I did. I gave up trying to be good, and focused on being as evil as I possibly could be. Not because that's who I am," he hisses. "But because that's who you told me I was! And I believed you! Do you have any idea how sick that is? Do you?"

There's a brief silence during which Metro Man tries his hardest to figure out how to respond. It was easier when Megamind was yelling a moment ago, ranting and raving at him the way he usually does, but now he's speaking in this incredibly controlled, shaking tone of voice that's so much worse than when he was yelling. He sounds half-desperate. Frantic, almost.

"All my life you've told me this. You and all the others. And can I just say, fuck you. Fuck you. Because I've finally got something good for once in my life, just once in my entire life I have something that makes me actively happy. And for the first time since I was nine years old, I'm starting to believe that maybe—just maybe—I've been wrong about myself." He rakes in a breath and slams a hand against the wheel. "I'm starting to see myself the way she sees me. I could be someone." He pauses for a few seconds. "I could...I could be someone. I could help people. I could," he whispers, and Metro Man knows it's true.

Suddenly the car screeches to a halt. "Out," Megamind says shortly, and then he and his coffee have vanished out the door. Metro Man follows a second later, blinking and looking around.

"Uh," he says. "Where are we...?"

"Corner of South Bend and Orville. Here, hold this," and he shoves his coffee at Metro Man's broad chest—this time, it spills a little.

"Oh, for...!" Then he blinks upwards and stops just short of swearing. Megamind is shimmying easily up the street light on the corner. He makes quick work of it, too; it only takes him a few seconds to reach the top and then he's sitting on it looking just as cool as you please, like he's done this all his life. He lets his head fall back a little, lifts his face to the cold drizzle and heaves a sigh.

"Well," he says without looking down. "Come on up. Or were you going to hold my coffee hostage down there? Bring the doughnuts, too; we might as well eat some of them as long as we're here."

Now totally bewildered, Metro Man drifts up to the section of the light that extends over the street and perches there. He doesn't cut the weightlessness, so the arm of the post doesn't break or bend under his considerable weight. "What are we doing here?"

"This is a fairly deserted corner," Megamind says by way of explanation. "I like watching the lights change. Helps me think."

"I didn't know you needed help with that," Metro Man tries to joke, and half of the other's mouth lifts into a weak smile.

"Yes," he agrees. "That's really the problem, isn't it?"

He's not sure what that means, so he just stays quiet. He's beginning to recognize a pattern: if he doesn't say anything, Megamind will talk to end the silence.

"You didn't know I need help. Heaven's sake, Ididn't know I needed help. But there it is." He sighs again and finally looks up at Metro Man, who automatically extends the box of doughnuts like it's some sort of peace offering. Incredibly, Megamind smiles and takes one. "Thanks. And help yourself, by the way; I figure you're probably more of a protein guy but these are the best doughnuts in this entire city, I swear. I just...I'm sick of it."

He blinks, jokes, "What, the doughnuts?"

Megamind chuckles, then gestures from Metro Man to himself, then around at their surroundings. "You. Me. This. Us." He shrugs. "I'm sick of the whole stupid game. I have been for a while, now." He finishes his doughnut but instead of reaching for another, looks down at his hands in his lap, suddenly nervous. "If...if I were to just...stop. All of it. If I were to pay my fines, return my ill-gotten gains, and...and start over? Maybe...start my own company, or...start doing research, I don't know. Would you stop me?"

Metro Man stares at him for a few stunned seconds, and then he breathes for what feels like the first time that night. "Are you kidding? That would be so incredibly amazingly awesome. Heck, I'll advocate for you if you want me to. And I'll be your first investor if your company goes public! I know better than anybody that anything you make is frickin' gold." Megamind turns and blinks at him, bewildered. "C'mon, little buddy. You know you're the only reason I haven't started trying to hang up the cape already."

—..—..—..—..—

"Hang up the—" Megamind's foot slips on his mist-slick perch and he has to throw out a hand to steady himself. He drops his coffee and it lands on the sidewalk below with a wet splat. "You want to quit too? But you're the good guy." He leans forward and swipes Metro Man's coffee from him as a replacement.

"And I'm sick of it!" Metro Man exclaims. "Do you know how draining it is to have to babysit a whole city of helpless people 24/7? You wouldn't believe the stupid things they expect me to rescue them from! Just last week I caught a jumper falling from Metro Tower only to find out he wasn't suicidal at all. His friend had bet him a hundred bucks that I wouldn't catch him."

"You're kidding."

"No, I'm not! I swear, I was this close," he holds his thumb and forefinger an inch apart, "to tossing him off that tower again myself."

"That doesn't sound very heroic to me," he observes, sipping his stolen coffee.

"Well, I didn't doit. I'm not that far gone yet. But I was tempted." He pulls out a white-frosted doughnut and begins to eat it, closing the box again against the drizzle. He grins and speaks with his mouth half-full. "I did confiscate their hundred bucks, though. Told them gambling on suicide was illegal."

"HA!"

"But that's not the point. Most of what I do doesn't even require superpowers. The police and firefighters should be able to handle most of my job. The only thing they really need me for is dealing with you. But that's not how it works. I'm permanently on-call and they send me out for everything. It doesn't even occur to them anymore that a fireman can rescue people from a burning building or that a SWAT team can take out a gunman in a hostage situation."

Megamind takes the box from Metro Man and balances it on the arm of the traffic light post as he pokes through it for something with a jelly filling. "Speaking asa gunman frequently involved in hostage situations, I'd like to say that I've always appreciated that about the MCPD." Finding what he's looking for, he takes a bite and swallows before asking, "Why don't you tell them to go fuck themselves?"

"It's my responsibility. I'm under contract." Finishing his doughnut, the hero brushes the crumbs off his hands and says, "But I've really just been going through the motions for awhile now. I don't really even care anymore. I was considering letting my contract lapse, but I can't just quit. Not while you're still going strong. There'd be no one to stop you."

"So?"

"So, what would people think of me?"

"Right. You wouldn't want to tarnish your prestine reputation," he snarks.

They both watch silently as an eighties sedan rolls through the intersection, the driver staring up at the two supers on the lightpost the whole way. Megamind smirks, "He ran the red light."

"I don't think he noticed."

"You should give him a ticket."

"I'm on a coffee break."

"Proof that you do belong on the Metrocity police force. Doughnut?" he asks, holding out the box.

"Funny," he snaps, ignoring the offer. He stares off towards the east where the sky is lightening despite the overcast and the mist. "It could work, you know. If we quit together. We could, I don't know, coordinate it?"

—..—..—..—..—

Ordinarily that suggestion would elicit some sort of "I don't make deals with heroes" crack, but this time Megamind is quiet for a long moment before he slowly agrees, "That...could work. What are the terms of your contract?"

"Oh, I can quit anytime," Metro Man assures him. "But I have to quit. All the way. I can still save people if I want to, but if I'm not a hero then I'm personally liable for any damages. And I can't operate outside the law anymore."

Megamind bites his lip. "I don't think I'll be able to stop operating outside the law."

To his surprise, Metro Man snorts and replies, "Oh, I'm counting on it. What, you think I'm stupid? I know what you've been up to in your free time. I might be the only hero in town, but I'm not the only one protecting the people here."

Megamind flushes. "You noticed that."

"Yeah, I did, and thanks." He sounds totally sincere. "Thanks for making my life not a complete living hell, I appreciate it. I don't know if I could deal with calls from little old ladies to open jars of pickles and manage the underground without totally losing my mind."

"Has that actually—"

"Twice."

He stares, not sure if he should laugh or offer the bigger man a drink. "You're joking."

"I wish. Little buddy, I am a joke." He throws his hands up, exasperated. "That's my whole problem. At least they take you seriously!"

"Bah!" Megamind says dully, passing him the coffee. Sharing a drink with his ex-arch-nemesis is not something he really has a problem with. "No, they don't. The underground circles do, but the citizens? Bah! I say, and Bah! again."

"Bah," Metro Man agrees. "I'll drink to that." He does. Then he chuckles.

Megamind looks at him, half-smiling. "What?"

"Nothing. 'S just. You." He shakes his head. "I'm sitting on a lamppost with my archenemy, discussing our mutual retirement. This is so bizarre."

"It's kinda weird," Megamind agrees. "But I prefer to think of myself as your nemesis. We haven't been enemies in quite some time."

"No, we haven't been, have we?" Metro Man peers at him, sobering somewhat. Then, out of the clear blue sky, he says, "I put you through hell, didn't I? Back in school. We all did, but...well, I didn't exactly discourage it."

Megamind's jaw tightens and his smile fades. "Yes," he says shortly. "Why?"

Metro Man shrugs gently. "I'm sorry, is why. I think about that a lot. You'd be surprised."

There's a long pause while Megamind tries to think of how to respond to that. Just as he opens his mouth, though, Metro Man adds, "I mean...you and me, we could have been friends. If I didn't blow it."

Megamind might have thrown that in his face, once upon a time, but things have changed. Over the past couple of months, he has changed in a million tiny ways—one of those ways is that he thinks maybe it's time he started giving certain people the benefit of the doubt. So what comes out of his mouth next is the single most incredible thing either of them has ever heard him say.

"...There's still time. Maybe."

—..—..—..—..—

"Maybe?"

"Well, for some unfathomable reason Roxanne likes you. So, it's probably best if we try to get along."

"For Roxy's sake."

"That's my story and I'm sticking to it."

"You know, if you hurt her, I'm still going to have to wring your neck."

Megamind scoffs and tosses the box of doughnuts to the sidewalk. Then he turns stomach to the bar and, in a gymnast's move, rocks back to hang from his hands before dropping to the street below. Retrieving his doughnuts he says, "Well, I better get back home and bring her these." He indicates the box in his hand, "She's probably still asleep." It is Saturday morning, after all. "If you want to come by later, once Minion shows up, we can discuss coordinating my last evil plan."

"Why does it have to be an evil plan?" The hero asks as he drifts toward the ground.

"It involves a superhero giving up and a supervillain getting off nearly scot-free. It has to be an evil plan." He grins and walks to his car. This time after he slams the door, he flips the car to its invisible mode before peeling out. Metro Man guesses that means the conversation is over for now.