Meaning
Chapter 7 Denial
Disclaimer: I do not own The Powerpuff Girls. But I do own the plot/story line because I made that up with my brain. No copyright intended.
"Bloss, relax. I can explain everything, you see we um we were-"
She cuts me off, "Oh I could see very clearly what you were doing with him. Really Bubbles? Of all people you chose him?!"
I sigh and look away, "Blossom it wasn't her fault, so how about you remove that stick that's up your ass. Then again you might like it there, I'm not one to judge." Brick said sarcastic. He is not helping at all.
She flushes in more anger and embarrassment, "Oh I know it's not her fault, it's yours. You messed with her mind with all your little games and made her like this! You asshole! Stay away from my sister!"
"Blossom, shut up! He did not brainwash me, or mess with my feelings or mind. This is out of my own free will. We have been secret friends for a while now, just recently it grew into more. So how about you stop with your idea that the boys are out to get me, that was in the past. Let it go."
"I will not have it! Wait until Buttercup hears about this, you are a traitor to your family! A disgrace, to be fraternizing with the enemy is inexcusable. You should be ashamed of yourself for stooping so low! You are so much better than that Bubbles, this just utterly disgusts me. I expected more from you."
Her voice sounds so disappointed in me, it starts making me tear up. I am tired of being the one that always gets the short end of the stick, the one that is chosen last or constantly belittled. I can't take it anymore, if there is anything I fear more in this life is my family's disapproval, judgement, and to be outcasted. Blossom saying these things does make me feel ashamed and very hurt, the tears kept on flowing, it was like I couldn't stop them. This just pissed Brick off.
"Strong words for someone who is guilty of the same exact thing, or were my eyes deceiving me when I caught you meeting up with Butch last year after school. You are no one to judge, just because you are pissed off that you two didn't work out does not mean you have to take it out on her! You are the real one that should be ashamed, look at what your lovely choice of words did to her. Don't stand there and act like you know everything that is right for her."
"You can say whatever you want Brick, but we all know what is going to happen in the end. You will get bored just like all of your other play things and leave her in the dust. Ruff's are well known for that. And I am not going to just stand by and watch."
"Blossom please j-just stop. I-I am sorry. B-but, I can't change my heart. I love him, Blossom."
She sighed and put her hands on my shoulders, "I know but I also know how it feels when a Ruff breaks your heart. I won't tell Buttercup just as long as you stay away from him. You are forbidden to ever see him again and if I find out you are still seeing him, you will have to deal with Buttercup's wrath. Do I make myself clear?"
I nod, "Yes Blossom, I understand."
"Now come on, we have to catch Ace's gang before they escape, Buttercup is already there fighting."
"O-okay." I said barely able to make myself audible.
I walk away and about to follow Blossom when I feel Brick take my hand.
"Bubbles, please. Don't go." His eyes filled with hurt.
"I have to, our mission isn't complete yet. Please take care of Boomer for me and let him know that I am sorry for hurting him so bad."
He sighed and shook his head, "You know that's not what I mean."
I start to cry all over again, "Brick please. My family is all that I have, I don't want to lose them. I'm sorry."
I kissed him one last time then flew away, leaving my heart behind where he stood. I push those thoughts behind me as I meet Blossom and Buttercup and join them in battle. I easily take out most of Ace's gang single handedly as I take out all of my anger and frustration. After the fight we lock them up in cars and the police carry them away, we congratulate ourselves on a job well done then fly home. I return my uniform in its correct place then put on my pj's, a light blue tank top and maroon colored shorts that have cute little blue elephants on them. I just stay in my room and don't even come down for dinner, I just stare at the wall hugging Octi as I lay in my bed. I feel like a piece of me just died today, I don't know how I am going to get through this. Put on an act and smile through my pain, why not? It's worked for me this long, it won't be any different. For the first time in ages I was starting to feel happiness again, something I thought could never happen again after what happened in the past due to my eldest sister's words and actions. I prefer not to relive that pain and horror, of that time in my life, this loss of Brick was worse. He made me happy, made me believe in myself again, he helped me see things about me that I never knew about myself. I love him, and because of that it is now my downfall. A knock is sounded at my door and Buttercup comes in carrying a plate of food, looks like all we had tonight was pizza.
"Hey, I brought you some pizza. Thought you might be hungry."
"No, I'm alright."
"How many times have I told you not to lie to me? What's wrong?"
I sigh and sit up, "It's just Blossom being her usual critical self."
"Don't listen to that brat, you are perfect just the way you are. Please eat, Bubbles. For me?"
Here's the thing that no one knows about me and Buttercup, we are closer than anything in this world. If she ever found out about me and Brick she would never forgive me, I would lose her and I can't. She has been my rock all these years and I would be completely lost without her, I wouldn't know how to go on anymore. I had a dark past, only she got me through it. I can handle anything else that harms me but I can't handle losing her. And Blossom knows that, she's using it against me. I sigh and take the plate of pizza and take a bite.
"See, I'm eating. Happy now?"
She smiles and kisses my forehead, "Very."
I finished the pizza, "Can you get me more?"
She laughed, "And here I thought you weren't hungry."
I stuck my tongue out at her and giggled. She took my plate and left my room to go downstairs and get me more pizza, I swear I could eat a whole pizza if you let me. After a little while she came back up with two more slices, told me she was going out with her friends and left. I quietly ate my pizza and walked around my room, my alarm clock only reading 9pm, I sighed then just decided to go to bed. I closed and locked my window and turned out the light. Getting comfy in my bed a I slowly slipped off to sleep, the last thing on my mind was a boy with ruby red eyes.
*The Next Week*
I sigh as I look into the wall mirror that's hanging on the back of my bedroom door, seeing myself in a light blue one shoulder top, white jean shorts and black converse. My hair is up in a ponytail that is naturally curly. My messenger bag hanging on my shoulder, well it's just another school day. Like any other, I closed my eyes as memories of Brick making attempts all last week after what Blossom said, I kept refusing him though. He would drag me off in between classes or after lunch as I ate in the courtyard with my friends and sisters. Hopefully by now Brick has gotten the hint, I don't want to be with him if it means that I lose my family. Forever.
"Bubbles, get down here or we will be late! Blossom already left without us." Buttercup yelled up to me from downstairs.
"Coming!"
With that I met Buttercup downstairs and flew out the door towards the high school. My feet hit the ground and the looming building stands before me, I sigh and walk up those stairs into the school heading straight for my locker. I have English first thing in the morning so I get out my textbook to put into my bag and make sure I have all of the essentials for class. The bang of a hand sounds on my locker, I look up and see Brick standing there looking down at me, a smirk in place.
"What do you think you are doing?! Blossom could see us together!"
"Yes she could have if she weren't already in her Chemistry class discussing conversions with her teacher. But the real question is, when are you going to stop avoiding me?"
I sighed and put some hair behind my ear, "Brick, please. Try to understand-"
The sound of him slamming my locker door shut cut me off and startled me. I looked up at him in confusion but all I could see was anger. Anger directed towards me. He pinned me to the lockers and his shadow came over me.
"Oh I understand completely. I know you are scared but stop letting that fear get the better of you. I love you and I know damn well you love me, if it were me I would tell Blossom to piss up a rope and leave us alone to be happy. But I know you and you would do anything and everything to keep your sisters happy and apart of your life, even if it meant going against how you feel. The more you refuse me the more pissed off and persistent I will be. And that is a promise."
My eyes widened at the ferocity in his voice reminding of the powerful, calculative, dangerous RowdyRuff Boy I know him to be. I find myself getting more and more attracted to him everyday, every time he makes a move to show me how much he truly cares for me. I know now that he would move heaven and hell to find a way to be with me. My heart melts at that, longing for his touch, I just want to forget everything for a moment and wrap my arms around him, kiss him and let the world fall away as it is us two. Just for a moment, I then look down realizing I can't do that. I know it's wrong but it feels so right, I don't know what to do. I am so confused, so lost. And everywhere I turn always leads to him, I can't let that happen anymore. I just can't. He takes advantage of my utterly confused state and pull me close to him so our bodies are pressed together and kisses me then lets me go. It is as if my breath is caught in my throat and I had forgotten how to breathe.
"I'll see you in class." He said smiling satisfied in the state in which he left me.
Wanting more but can't have it that is unless I stop letting the fear of losing my family control me. I shake myself into a clear head, get my bearings and head to class. When I get there and the lesson starts to begin I literally rest my head down on my desk silently cursing the school's teaching schedule because of course we have to be reading Romeo and Juliet as apart of our Shakespeare unit. Really? Did it have to be the one story that parallels to my exact predicament with Brick, why couldn't we have read Othello, Hamlet or any other Shakespeare play. Other than that lovely assignment the rest of the school day did not go so horribly disastrous that is if you count Buttercup getting detention, again. This time because she was smart mouthing with the teacher and got kicked out of class. Classic Buttercup, I think shaking my head as I walk towards the girls locker room so I can change into my track practice clothes. Out of all of my teammates I am the fastest runner, even my coach says so and my score cards don't lie. I find it kind of unfair to the rest of the girls on the team because fastness is in my DNA but at least I helped us get to the championship. I change my converse to running shoes that have spikes on them so I can have better footing grip on the track, my shirt becomes a tank top and my jean shorts become running shorts and of course everything is in my signature color. Baby Blue. I jog out to the track to be with the rest of my team.
"Ah, my star pupil. Ready to taste the wind today?"
I smiled at coach Reynolds, "Ready as ever coach."
He smiled back and told all of us to warm up by running the track for 6 laps. I decided to go slow today and pace myself because when coach puts me up to practice the 3000 m run and the 400 m hurdles. This man has no mercy for me, he knows I am the best so he challenges me to be the greatest. But in practice I do the 800 m twice in between breaks and after that practice my hurdles. After doing the warm up laps I sit down and drink some water so I am refreshed before I run. I take a final sip of my ice water and set it back down in my bag for later. I get into my starting lane.
"Remember to pace your breath and not to use all of your energy in the first part of the run. I know you can do this, good luck Bubbles."
I nod at him and bend down in my starting position, I take a deep breath and look down at the track and my footing. I then pick my head back up and look at my surroundings, I notice a certain Ruff stirring on the bleachers watching me. Ugh, does he really have to show up, he is right though, he is persistent. I shake my head and put it back in my mind to deal with later as I see the track ahead of me. I take deep breaths then coach blows the whistle as he times me at the same time. I take off in running stance, straight back and long strides and speed. Most important is speed but I make sure to not go so fast until the very end. I can feel the muscles in my legs extend and tighten with every step I take, the feel of the cool air of the wind on my face, it's amazing. A new sense of freedom. After my run everything else becomes a blur as practice is over before I even know it, I go back in the change rooms and get ready to walk back home and say my byes to my teammates as I leave.
"I told you, leave me alone." I said annoyed, arms crossed.
I could hear him behind me clear as day, I didn't even need to turn around, it's completely weird but I just know when he is near me, it's like some 6th sense.
"And I told you that I don't care."
I sigh annoyed and roll my eyes, when will this boy take a damn hint. But before I can do anything Brick picks me up from the ground and pulls me into an alley that caused my bag to fall as he lifted me up and my back rests on the wall, pinning me. My legs wrap around him automatically as they did before and my arms rested on his shoulders. We looked at each other, his with a determined expression while mine is an annoyed pout, I look away from him because with him looking at me like that, it makes me want to disregard everything and give into him but I can't, hell I shouldn't even be doing this. He turned my head to look at him with his hand then he kissed me. I pushed him away and sighed, looking down. I could feel myself starting to tear up because of how much I want him, how much I still want him but I know in my heart that I can't have him. Not ever.
"Brick." My voice breaks saying his name.
"Please, I'm sorry. I-I just can't, I don't want to lose them."
He puts a hand on my cheek, I turn my face into it letting the tears flow and kissing his palm. I love how he shows his kindness and gentleness only to me, it makes me feel special, special to him. His lips meet mine sweetly I kiss him back, we stop for a minute and look into each other's eyes knowing that we want the same thing. I looked around me and the alley is dim and the only thing is people walking by not paying attention to anything. I bit my lip thinking and I decided to kiss him the way he kisses me, in this moment I don't really care if someone sees, all I care about is him. Soon enough we were making out passionately, hungrily, like we couldn't get enough of each other. We pull off each other's shirts, I run my hands on his bare chest feeling every muscle, his hands inch down my body and making kisses all the way from my neck to my chest then he starts to suck on my breast, leaving a hickey as a moan escapes my lips. Which only gets him more into it as he unbuttons my shorts, I follow his moves and unbutton his, he goes back to kissing me and pressing his body more into me. And that is what brings me back to reality, it's getting late and I should have been home by now, Blossom is going to call me soon or just start looking for me and if she sees us. No, I can't let that happen. I won't.
"Brick." I said breathlessly as I try pushing him away.
"I love it when you say my name." he says with a smirk.
I shake my head and push him away, he gets a confused look on his face.
"I have to go home. We shouldn't be doing this, god what was I thinking? Blossom is going to go out looking for me soon or call me because I should have been home by now and it's getting late." I said all too quickly as I got out of Brick's hold and put my clothes back on.
"Oh no, what if she already has and saw us. No, no, no, no I can't lose my sisters. I can't." I said panicking holding my hair after I picked up my bag and swung it over my shoulder.
Brick grabs me by the wrists to get me out of my frantic state. "Bubbles, baby, snap out of it. It will all be okay, you know as well as I that this, you and me. It feels right, we shouldn't care what our siblings think just as long as we are happy. We love each other and should not be afraid to hide it. Bubbles, I love you. Please let yourself love me, stop hiding."
"No, I can't. I'm sorry but you don't understand, Brick. Buttercup, she and I have a stronger relationship than me and Blossom do, I know it might seem odd but it's true. Blossom is the one that ridicules me as you saw that day, she is the most brutal one even more so than how your brothers ever were to me. There was a bad time that I went through not so long ago, Buttercup was there. I won't go into details because I would rather not relive those memories. She is the one that always sticks up for me and would stand by me no matter what and her main instinct is to keep me safe than save herself."
That's when the tears come more quickly but I didn't care, it was as if I was feeling like I already lost her. " Brick, if I ever lost her, I couldn't bare it. I wouldn't know how to go on anymore. Now do you understand? I just can't no matter how much I want to. I'm sorry."
And with that I flew off as I had before not being able to look back at him because I know if I look back I would go to him and I can't. Why does this have to be so hard, maybe if I just try talking to Buttercup about being with Brick she'd understand that or disown me forever. I just don't think that I can take that risk.
