Here is the next chapter, enjoy.

DISCLAIMER: I still own nothing recognizable from Supernatural. I am crying as I write this, but am woman enough to admit it.

Dean had left the kitchen, found his way to the Impala and drove to the old cottage that he, Sam and Lea use to hang out in as kids. Not remembering the drive there, Dean felt lucky to have not killed himself or damaged his Baby by running her off the road.

Somehow he knew where to find her, but couldn't bring himself to get out of his Baby and go to the front door. Going over and over what Bobby had said in his mind just confused Dean more. What had Lea been protecting them from? Why had it required her to fake her own death?

So many times Dean had dreamed Lea was alive. He was afraid he was reliving the nightmare all over again. The one where he would walk to her house and see it in flames, hear her screaming his name, not being able to saver her.

Dean was afraid of that dream, but more afraid Lea wouldn't be there when the door opened to his knock. Stiffening his back, reading himself for the shock, Dean walked slowly to the little house that held so many memories for him.

"I wonder if she looks the same, if she missed me. Why she left."

Dean couldn't quit thinking as he walked intently to the door. His world was never going to be the same and he didn't know how to handle that. Before he could knock, Dean heard a soft voice say his name.

"Dean…."

To Dean, the voice sounded like a sweet promise of hope. Slowly he turned towards the voice, expecting to see just a ghost of the woman he once loved. Instead Dean saw Lea setting on a porch swing just out of view of his car. He didn't have the strength to look up, only able to stare at the slim bare feet as they set unmoving the porch floor.

After a few moments of silence, Dean saw Lea stand and watched her feet move slowly towards him. He finally found the courage to move his eyes up her body. Her legs were slim and short. He had forgotten how tiny she was. As Dean's eyes reached her hips, then waist he realized Lea was standing just within reach.

Dean moved is eyes quickly to her face. Lea was chewing her bottom lip just like she use to when she was nervous. Her dark hair was pulled back in a haphazard bun, small curls spilling out around her face.

Dean stepped forward, slowly bringing his hand out to touch her cheek. As he caressed it softly, Lea spoke again.

"I am happy to see you too." Lea's voice was soft and timid.

Dean hardened at her words and pulled away as Lea tried to bring her small hand to his arm. He turned his back to her and stepped off the porch. Walking at a brisk pace, Dean moved behind the small house to an overgrown path that lead into a dark overgrowth of trees and bushes.

He was not ready to talk with her yet. Dean's emotions were running hot and cold. One minute he wanted to crush Lea in his arms and never let her go. The next he wanted to push her away and demand an explanation for her betrayal. How was Dean ever supposed to trust anyone again?

Stomping down the path for nearly 10 minutes, Dean reached a clearing by a small pond. He had spent many great days with Lea and Sam here. He loved this place, but hadn't been back in years. Not since Lea had died. Dean had hoped coming here would help calm his soul; instead it seemed to be aggravating him more.

Dean didn't know how long he had been there or how long Sam had stood quietly in the shadows, but Dean was glad his brother was there. Sam was his rock and would never leave Dean. He had proven that time and time again.

With that thought in his head Dean walked calmly to where his brother was standing and planted a right hook into the taller man's jaw. Sam wasn't surprise his brother was angry enough to hit him, but the force threw Sam backwards onto his ass in the dirt. He figured he deserved Dean's anger and probably more.

Dean offered his hand to Sam, pulling him back up to a standing position. Stalking back to the other side of the clearing, Dean turned right back around and headed towards Sam again. Sam prepared himself for another shot, but Dean stopped in front of him and looked at his brother with wounded eyes.

"I lost her too Dean." Sam said quietly.

Dean looked at his brother for a few more seconds before he grabbed Sam in a strong hug. It felt like Dean was holding on for dear life. Sam gripped Dean as if his life depended on it too. Neither man knew what to say.

Dean let go of Sam first. Acting uncomfortable with the feelings he had displayed, Dean put some distance between he and Sam. Turning with a questioning look on his face, Sam knew Dean wanted answers.

"I am sorry Dean, She asked me to let her tell you. I was so shocked I agreed. I wanted to tell you man, I just didn't know how."

There was nothing left for Sam to say. No other excuses he could make. He knew Dean was in pain, but Sam couldn't do anything about it.

"My head knows that Sammy, but my heart is just not listening. " Dean sounded so dejected and lost to Sam.

Even though Sam had loved Lea too, he had not been as close to her as Dean. His love developed slowly from a childish infatuation. A 12 year old that had been raised by his obsessed dad and brother knew nothing of the kind of love Lea represented.

Sam had never been around someone so alive and full of love. As his boyish love simmered under the surface, Dean's love for Lea could be seen by everyone close to the boy. Sam knew Lea belonged to his brother, but couldn't help himself from loving a little bit her too.

After a few minutes of silence, Sam stepped towards his brother and spoke in a muted voice.

"Dean. You have to go back to Lea's house and hear her out. Not for her, but for yourself. You need answers."

Dean didn't say anything or even move for what seemed like hours to Sam. Sam was beginning to fidget with worry as he watched Dean standing so still. He finally turned to Sam and walked back towards the path he had used to enter the clearing.

"Thanks for the support Sammy. Go ahead back to Bobby's place. I will be back in a little while."

Sam could barely hear Dean as he was headed down the path towards Lea. Sam knew he couldn't help his brother with this anymore. Dean had to face his past on his own. Sam would be there to help him pick up the pieces if Dean needed him to.

Dean started having a panic attack as he neared the small cottage. He had to stop, bending at the waist to slow his breathing. Damn, he felt light headed. Waiting for a few minutes as his heart rate to slow down, Dean stood upright again and headed directly for the porch steps. He knew Lea was waiting for him, Dean could feel her watching him.

'What am I going to say to her?'

Dean was spending too long talking to himself and not getting the answers he was dying to hear. Bitching himself out in his head for being a wuss, Dean moved smoothly up the front porch. He was ready for this now.

Lea heard Dean in the yard and had already opened the red screen door to step onto shaded porch. She searched his face, trying to understand what was going on in his head. Lea found she could no longer read the man standing in front of her. The young man she loved had changed so much since she last saw him.

Dean stopped close enough to almost touch her and Lea felt her breath leave her body. She had missed him more than she had ever thought possible. Her heart felt as if it might explode with the pain of leaving him and the immense joy of being so close to Dean again.

Dean didn't give Lea a chance to say anything. He placed both of his hands on her upper arms, pulling her into his chest. Inhaling deeply, Dean filled his lungs with her scent, he wanted to kiss Lea senseless. Lea had wrapped her arms around Dean's waist and held him tightly. It would be so easy to forget about the past while Dean was in her arms.

But Dean wasn't a romantic and he knew he couldn't forget Lea leaving him. Letting his hands fall to his side, Dean backed away from Lea. He needed some physical distance from her to clear his mind.

"Would you mind telling why you left?" Dean asked Lea in a calm, almost lifeless voice.

Lea forced herself to look deep into Dean's green eyes. She saw his pain and wanted to tell him everything. She never wanted to leave, she always loved him and would do anything to erase all the pain he had endured because of her. But Lea knew she couldn't share everything.

"I don't know where to start Dean. It has been so long." Lea felt herself chickening out.

Dean had begun to pace the length of the porch. His anger rolling off of him in waves.

"How about you start with the letter and end with why you faked your death?"

Dean wasn't going to give Lea an inch. He wanted her to know how much pain she caused, how much he and Sam had grieved for her.

"The letter was the truth Dean. I didn't want to lead the life of a Hunter or a hunter's wife. I didn't want you to cause a scene, embarrass us both by trying to talk me out of it."

It was almost the truth. Lea had tired of the hunting life, but she would never have willingly left Dean for anything. The visions she had started having shortly before she left had changed everything. They clearly showed Lea that she could never have a life with Dean.

"So you tell me in a letter? Why not before we took Sam to the movies? Or maybe before we had sex in your room that night while your family was gone?"

Dean's tone of voice was getting more ragged as he talked. He could barely get the words out. It was hard to look away from her face. Lea was talking about their life together like it meant nothing. It had meant everything to Dean. He had to know why she had changed her mind about him.

"What do you want from me Dean? I am trying to tell you my side of the story."

This time Lea was beginning to get agitated. She was terrified she would tell Dean everything if he kept pushing for the truth. Lea had to protect him and Sam from what she saw in her visions. The only way to do that was to get Dean to believe her story. Setting down on the white swing, Lea tried to calm herself so she could finish her story.

"I loved you the best I knew how Dean, but I couldn't keep it going. We wanted different things and I knew you wouldn't give up on us. I left that night for my aunt's house, but I didn't start the fire. It was faulty wiring."

While this was the basic truth, Lea left out most of the details of her decision to leave. Dean didn't need to know she was leaving for more training. He could never find out she was a practicing Wiccan with deadly visions of his future. Lea knew how Dean felt about witches and she didn't want to see the disgust in his eyes when he learned the truth.

Dean was leaning against the porch railing, picking at the peeling paint. What she was saying made some sense. He probably would have forced his way into seeing her and made a fool of himself trying to get her back. At the time Dean didn't know how to live without Lea and never dreamed he would have to.

"So when I showed up at the fire why did you Bobby tell me you were dead? Do you know how cruel that was? Sam was devastated."

Dean searched Lea's face for some sign of emotion. He had hoped to see some pain in her features, to know she had suffered too.

Lea couldn't stand seeing the pain and anger on Dean's face. It made what she had to say harder than she had wanted it to be. Looking out across the small yard, Lea tried to finish her conversation with Dean.

"It was childish and cruel of me to ask Bobby to do that to you. I just wanted to get away and the fire let me do that. I didn't want you to follow me Dean."

Lea sounded so cold and distant. She hated causing Dean more pain, but it was the only way to save him.

Dean pushed himself away from the railing and began walking down the steps. He was done here. Even though Dean didn't hear what he wanted from Lea, at least he had some answers.

"Stay away from me and Sam. We don't need someone like you in our lives."

With that Dean walked to the Impala, slid into the seat and drove away from the one person he had at one time loved more than anything in the world.

As Dean pulled away, Lea began to cry in earnest. It felt so unfair to have to lose Dean twice in this lifetime. She would never understand why they were dealt these cards, why they were made to sacrifice everything.

Self-pity would get her nowhere. Pulling a phone from the pocket of her yellow sweater, Lea pushed her long stray brown curls behind her ears and called Bobby. She gave him brief details about her talk with Dean and asked that he let her know when the brothers left his place. Lea doubted she would sleep again until Dean was in another state.

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