A/N: Because of demand I am going to (try to) give you guys this chapter (I was planning to work on it later this week but I…I'd like to die of something more heroic than death by fanfiction peers. :3 You guys are the best, I swear.)

So, I'm not doing disclaimers anymore, hence the name FANfiction, so I guess I'll do warnings if I feel up to it? But really there's no need. It's not like there's any self-mutilation or anything like that. (Although, uh, *nosebleed* Roy should have a warning label *swoon*)

Also, can you guys please go back to chapter 5 and look at the A/N at the bottom? I listed some story ideas there and I'd like for you guys to pick one of them for me to write after I'm close to the end of this story or finished with it. Yeah, I really like this story, too, but it has to end so I can write MOAR.

Also, I'm just wondering-any Homestuck fans out there?

"Because the military is here to protect people," the soldier named Nick smiled hesitantly and shrugged, "At least, that's what I signed up for."

Edward Elric, Nick's superior, was currently pretending to be an angry old man with his rage stimulated by Nick's appearance. The faus pax elder glared at the young brunette for a few long moments, then stood up straight and smiled, the façade over.

"Good job, Nicholas!" Ed beamed proudly at his subordinate's cooperation, "I expect no less of you."

"Awww," Nick mocked a disappointed whine, "Darn."

:~H.n.R.~:

Nick looked around town for suitable prey. He wanted to make sure his first impression was not only perfect, but was also towards the perfect person. Was he overthinking this? What the fuck are you talking about, Nick knows how to do his fucking shit job!

Fucking shit job, fucking shit job, Nick sang to himself, "Fucking shit job, FUCKING SHIT JOB-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

WHAM!

:~H.n.R.~:

The light-haired brunette soldier scowled down at Nick, hands on her hips and eyebrows askew. Closing her lips over her sharp-toothed growl, she held out a hand to help the fallen soldier up.

"What hit my head?" Nick whined, rubbing his head repeatedly and his face contorted in pain.

"A piggyback."

"A piggy-what?" Nick raised an eyebrow up at her skeptically, "Don't you mean a 'piggybank'?"

"No, a piggyback," the female soldier replied, holding up a large, heavy, bloody slab of pink skin over a dark slab of muscles, "The back of a pig. I roll it up like this and I thro-"

"Okay, okay, put that thing away!" Nick held his nose and backed up dramatically. He held out his other hand and waved it at her for emphasis. The female soldier only shrugged, rolled up the pig skin, and put it in a rather large holster that Nick only noticed now.

"So why'd you throw that…thing at me?"

"You were messing around and using inappropriate language," the female soldier answered.

"Oh," Nick rubbed his head nervously, "What's your name?"

"Why are you asking me?" the female soldier asked.

"I'm just curious!" he smiled.

"Well, it serves no justice, so I don't have to answer," the female soldier concluded.

Nick frowned at her. She was a tough nut to crack. It'd take a rather big…and muscular…and handsome…nutcracker to crack her! Nick smirked to himself and his companion raised one eyebrow in question.

"Anyway," Nick changed the subject, "Let's go do what Master ordered."

"Sure," the female soldier agreed.

:~H.n.R.~:

Edward took his time strolling about town, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. That was kind of hard when you were, well, dressed in the brightest blue of an ass cape there ever was.

To help his case, he put his hands in his pockets and leaned back slightly, and studied the clouds on the horizon. They were fluffy, white, and looked like marshmellows. Speaking of marshmellows, he hadn't had any in quite a long time. At least he had the abdominal muscles to prove it!

Every so often he saw a glimpse of one of the soldiers sent to watch over Luciana on another street through an alleyway, but other than that he seemed to be the only one on the street. There was probably nothing odd about that, but Ed was naturally skeptical from his years on the road with homunculi, chimera, and pissy military officers at every turn.

Ed thought it'd be a good time to pick out someone to talk to – since no one seemed to have the courage to talk to him – and walked up to a random young man (shorter than he, Ed proudly added.) The man had short, dark brown hair. He wore a plaid-and-white, out of place hoodie (probably borrowed as it was too big for him) over a burgundy shirt with a white logo and stitching. He also wore a pair of jeans with black-and-white sneakers.

The young man looked up at Ed with a curious face, "Uh?"

Ed gazed down at the teenager and smiled approvingly, "Hello. I'm guessing you're wondering what a military man like me is doing in a town like yours."

"Oh, I know what you're doing!" the teen said, almost too enthusiastically, "You're here to investigate all the weird stuff happening."

"That is correct," Ed smirked, "But I don't really have anything to do right now. Would you mind giving me a tour? I've been here before in the past, but it was years ago." Day-umn, he was acting like a pedophile.

"Years ago…?" the young boy thought for a moment, then grinned and put a knowing finger up, "You're the Fullmetal Alchemist, aren't you?"

"Was."

"Was what?"

"I was the Fullmetal Alchemist," Ed corrected again, "Right now I work for Intelligence."

"Oh."

"But, I AM Edward Elric," Ed held out an open hand, "Major Elric, if you will. You can call me Ed if you want to; I'd rather you call me by that name." Pedoooooooo.

The man scrutinized the welcoming hand for a few moments, then shook it with a grin resembling Nick's, "I'm Nathan Filipo.* But most grown-ups call me Mr. Phillips."

"Why don't I just call you Nate?" Ed reasoned, then scowled at himself. He kept giving people nicknames! First Al, then Colonel BASTARD, then Nick, and now Nate! How infuriatingly impossible he was!

"Uh, yeah," Nate scratched his head in confusion, mostly because this grown-up refused to call him by his last name.

Ed blushed in embarrassment because he thought Nate was angry at him for using a nickname for him when he told him what he was used to being called. Dammit, dammit, dammit!

:~H.n.R.~:

"I fully believe this started all because of you!"

"No, I'd like to put the blame on you."

"But I'm not the one who got me angry!"

"That doesn't even make any sense, and yes you did."

Nick combed his fingers through his hair tiredly and groaned. How could an old man throw them out of his house after he had just practiced with Ed? I mean, he did bust in there without warning and almost gave the elder a heart attack, and yes, he was shouting, which would practically make his new partner deaf, nevermind the old man. That probably explained it. But still! He didn't have to be reprimanded so harshly for it!

When Nicholas reiterated his thoughts allowed, his female partner scowled at him disapprovingly, "What did you think you signed up for, the kiddy parade? This is the military! Get used to harsh treatment!"

Nick was still scowling when he noticed a familiar person walk by in his peripheral vision.

:~H.n.R.~:

Roy Mustang, exhausted from trying to deal with his subordinates who tried to challenge every word he said. Apparently they thought that arguing against everything their superiors said would get them a promotion. He'd make sure they were put in their place before they returned to Central.

Walking around town with his hands in his pockets, he pulled out his silver State Alchemist watch and looked at the time. 4:43 PM. Not too late, but Roy wondered in a small corner of his mind how the time had flown by so quickly.

Somewhere in his thoughts, he decided to think about Ed's proposition. That brat! How could he? That homosexual shrimp knew perfectly well that he was straight through and through, so why the hell did he pull his confession out of nowhere and drop yet another set of his problems on him? He already had enough on his shoulders from the Elrics: trying to hide their secret from almost a decade ago from the higher-ups and anyone who will tell, then Ed's habit of destroying things whenever he was pulled into a duel that would decide the end of his mission, and now the kid he called into his office every day for business reasons was hot for him! Nevermind Edward being naturally energetic and headstrong, he was a hormonal teenager, probably distraught from his current relationship status with Roy.

Why did he really call the teen into his office almost every day? Well, Roy liked to think it was for a "number of reasons," since the phrase sounded cool and nonchalant, but really seeing the male blonde cheered up his day. Riza nor Jean could compare to how Ed just…radiated the air wherever he walked. He was like a walking flame, sucking up all the energy and inserting it into the bodies of people he knew and cared for. Roy knew he was one of the people who could feel this flame the strongest, and sometimes Roy was jealous of how Ed could give off this "light" and "flame" when he himself was Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist. That was his job! Then again, at other times Roy felt immensely proud for Ed learning the "way of things," in a sense.

But now Roy was repulsed. He couldn't possibly return Ed's feelings like this! And why did Ed just randomly tell him this after being late?

Wait a minute. Roy, through his haze of anger and disgust, remember his and Edward's deal. Ed was sitting on his balcony alone during his dinner party just a couple of night ago, and his face showed distress and worry about something Roy hadn't known about then. Roy, being the ass that he was, made Ed promise to tell him what was bothering him, and to get Mustang off his shoulders, Edward scowled at him and told him to piss off until the next morning unless he didn't want to find out. And then he jumped off the balcony and re-entered Roy's house.

Roy couldn't decide whether this benefited him or not. On one hand, he now could not trust one of his most-previously-trusted subordinates, because now he'd be basing all his actions off of how he felt for Roy, not on logic and what needed to get done. Then again, if Roy hadn't interfered in all this, maybe Ed would have ended up confessing another day in a way that would make Roy even more uncomfortable. Like marching up to his desk during his report, grabbing him by his lapels, and smashing his young and chapped lips onto Roy's experienced and smoother ones. Agh! Don't think those thoughts! You don't know what Ed's lips feel like!

Yes he did, though, yes he did. That time when he had to give the young blonde mouth-to-mouth to save him when his automail had been connected to his nerves incorrectly and messed with his nervous system. And this somehow caused Ed not to breathe and collapse in the Flame's private office with everyone else at lunch break on the other side of the grounds? Yeah. And when Ed woke back up, instead of having his limp lips connected to Roy's through mouth-to-mouth, the teenager found himself pursing his lips so that Roy's face would stay where it had been. Maybe that's where Ed's infatuation had started…

But he didn't feel not one sliver of affection for the intelligent ex-alchemist! Not one morsel of love! He couldn't anymore now that he knew Ed felt in such a way that if he agreed to be with the teen he'd be pile-driven into his bed with a 12-inch-diameter asshole after just a month of this…whatever it was!

He meant…he was pretty sure he was not going to get off on that thought. Or else he'd have some serious self-mutilation to do.

*I got this guy from an actually person who's in the musical I'm in. He's…he's handsome. o/o Anyway, I don't want to use his name for safety purposes solely, so I'm changing it up.

A/N: I listened to Michael Jackson songs, I guess (:I If you want to know, don't ask me. It's all Mom from here.) My near-frozen fingers aren't in the mood to type songs down…nah, nevermind, they are. Procrastination~ (There's more of the A/N below the playlist so just skip the playlist if you want.)

Terrible Things – April Smith and the Great Picture Show – Songs for a Sinking Ship

The Time (Dirty Bit) – The Black Eyed Peas – The Beginning (Deluxe Version)

Savior of the Waking World – Toby "Radiation" Fox – Homestuck Vol. 5

Rolling Girl – Hatsune Miku

Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better – John Barrowman and Ruthie Hensaw

Double Lariat – Megurine Luka

All the Livelong Day - Company (from "Working", the musical)

Nyan Cat (original)

Nobody Tells Me How – Bobo Lewis (from "Working", the musical)

Millwork – Robin Lamont (from "Working", the musical)

You Make Me Feel…. – Cobra Starship ft. Sabi

Double Rainbow – Songify This

Cliffhanger-Snowmobile Escape – Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 OST

Just a Housewife – Susan Bigelow & Women (from "Working", the Musical)

12 Trolls of Christmas – Kylee Henke – Kylee Henke's Album

Also, I'd like if you guys see any mistakes, please tell me! I do have spell check on word and everything like that, but I don't beta, first of all (always wondering what the fuckin' hell beta was) and secondly, um, well, maybe I just don't notice things if I'm in a stupor or something. Or about to die from evil, deadly monsters. Either.

Yup.

Yeah.

So.

Anyways…

I just want to say I spell "marshmellows" like "marshmellows." You know, the white, fluffy things that no one could possibly live without and smell so sugary and good that if you inhale one you're definitely going to devour all the rest? Yeah, those candies that-

Random person: GET TO THE POINT ALREADY.

Okay, okay! I'm just saying don't correct that. If I put a space in there, THAT'S a mistake. :3

Also, until mid-December, don't expect frequent, once-or-twice-a-week updates because I'm in a play and it's less than a week until the play! Gosh! Well, wish me luck 'cause I'm a demanding bitch. Heheheh.