Mike shook me awake. Already sitting on my bed pulling me towards him.

"Aria, you have to talk about it. You're scaring me," But I couldn't speak I just stared into nothingness looking for his face again. "Aria, you have been like this for days. You have barely touched any food, and haven't left this room. The funeral is today and I think you should go."

"Mike, I-I don't know if I can."

"If you don't you'll regret it the rest of your life. It will help you get some closure. You won't have to do anything the girls are already here to help you get dressed," They walked in and grabbed me by the waist and elbows.

"First, Hun, you really need a shower," Hanna said.

"Hanna!" Spencer said staring at her. I didn't speak. I just let the girls drag me to the bathroom. I ended up taking a bath because I couldn't stand up on my own. The girls dressed me as I kept staring looking for an answer that would make this nightmare make sense. And why I haven't woken up from it. My mind played a very sick joke on me and I wanted it to end. Before I knew it everything was done and they had me in a car. At the funeral there wasn't many people I knew. I noticed Hardy from the reading, Ezra's mom and Brother from a photo Ezra showed me. His mother came up to me.

"Hello, are you Aria?"

"Yes, you know who I am?"

"Of course, my son told me so much about you when he came up looking for a new job. And whenever I called him he was always talking about you. I could tell he loved you just by his voice."

"He told me a lot about you guys, too. I just didn't think he told anyone about us."

"Because you were his student. He didn't really have a choice when he came up looking for a new job. I knew something was up. He did make an understatement when he said you were very beautiful."

"He said that."

"Of course honey, he was definitely in love with you, and how couldn't he be. From what he told me you are a very beautiful person on the inside and out."

"Thank you." I said with tears streaming down my face. "It means a lot to me for you to say that. He meant the world to me. I loved him very much."

"I know. Why don't you sit with us during the service."

"Sure, I just need to tell my brother and my friends," I went over to all of them and told them what was going on. Mike watched me the whole time. He has been doing that for the past few days.

"Aria, I'm going to sit with you. I really don't want you alone right now."

"Okay, Mike, but I don't need a babysitter," My speaking voice has been just a mumble since everything. Thinking about everything makes it hard for me to talk.

"Your behavior the past couple of days says otherwise. You're my older sister and I want to make sure you're okay," Mike walked with me back to Ezra's mom.

"This is my little brother, Mike."

"Hello, Mike, I am Dianne," Hardy walked over to us.

"Hello, Aria."

"Hello."

"Dianne, we have a situation. Jackie decided that she was going to come today. She has everyone believing that her and Ezra were still together."

"Jackie is here?" I asked.

"Yes, how do you know about Jackie?" Hardy turned to me.

"We were dating for almost a year. She came up a few times."

"Well, she's here."

"Wesley," Dianne turned to Ezra's little brother, "Please show Aria and her brother where we will be sitting while I handle this."

"Yes, Mom," Wesley said with his head down and led Mike and I to our seats. We had entered the church and I saw the casket. Mike immediately grabbed a hold of me as if he knew before I did that I was going to fall apart. He brought me to a seat and I began to cry. Mike wrapped his arms around me. How is it physically possible that Ezra Fitz, the man that I love, the man that was so full of life is laying dead in that casket right now. All I could do is cry. I couldn't look up I just looked down and cried. Dianne finally came over.

"What's wrong?" Again I felt like I couldn't speak and I felt like I was going to throw up.

"She has been like this ever since the accident. I was surprised she held it in long enough to have a conversation with you. I'm guessing the casket triggered it."

"She has been like this since the accident?"

"Yeah, It's actually been worse. This is the first place in the outside world she has been since. She's hidden herself in her room wrapped up in his shirts clutching a book he gave her, and listening to music that reminds her of nothing but him. All she does is stare at a wall in her room crying. I've barely left her side."

"Can I talk to her?"

"Go ahead, don't expect to get a response. She goes through these phases. She has moments where she can hold an entire conversation, then all of a sudden she can't speak, move or even stand up."

"Aria, Aria. It's Dianne. I know it feels like you can't live your life anymore without him. Trust me I understand I have been feeling like that. But we have to. Ezra would want us to. Ezra would have wanted you to move on. You are young, Sweetheart. It won't hurt forever. It will get easier, I promise. I know you will never stop loving him, but you have to move forward. Ezra would want that. I have something I want to give you at the end of the service. Something I know he would have wanted you to have." I couldn't move I was frozen and paralyzed with pain.

"Mike, I really need to go to the bathroom," I said with the little voice I could.

"I will go get one of the girls," Mike left and Dianne sat next to me. All I could do after I spoke was stare at the floor. I felt like I was going to throw up again. Where was Mike with the girls? Just as I thought it they appeared. They helped me up and brought me to the bathroom. I ran to the first toilet and began to puke once again. It was all beginning to be too much. I knew I shouldn't have come. I should have stayed in my sweats in bed never to move. I kept crying and throwing up. Finally I sat against the stall and cried. Spencer opened the stall door and slid to the ground. She pulled me in to her arms.

"You have to talk to us, Aria," I know they wanted me to talk to them, but I just couldn't speak. I couldn't do anything. I literally felt like there was no reason to keep on living. What was the point? I wasn't going to spend it with Ezra. I remember our argument about the future. We felt it was such a big deal then. Look now, we don't get to have a future. All our little arguments about stuff like that seems so stupid right now. All I want is for him to hold me and tell me it will be all right. I don't want Mike or Spencer or Hanna or Emily holding me and comforting me, I want Him, no I need Ezra to hold me tight. I need Ezra. Ezra, why did you have to leave me? I can't handle this on my own. I need you, Ezra. The more I thought his name the more I cried. It was uncontrollable. It felt like we were sitting there for hours. Mike walked in to see how I was doing. I guess he decided that it didn't matter that we were in the girl's room. He took Spencer's place and brought me in closer.

"Aria, please talk to me. This isn't helpful. He wouldn't have wanted this. Please, Aria, talk to me. You are really starting to make me worry," I wanted to say something, I really did,but I couldn't. I felt like I no longer had a voice. The pain of losing him wasn't just emotional. My whole body felt like it was shutting down. My heart actually ached. My chest felt like it was collapsing. After a long silence Mike lifted me up, and supported me back to my seat next to Dianne. I was only in the bathroom for a couple of minutes. Mike kept his arms around me throughout the service. I don't remember much of it, I just quietly cried to myself while staring at the floor. At the end of the service Mike brought me over to the casket. The girls had to run over to help Mike keep me up. I wasn't trying to make a scene I just physically couldn't handle the idea that Ezra was really in there. Completely motionless, never to argue with me, talk to me, hold me, and kiss me again. Everything was beginning to feel too real. The girls and Mike brought me to the car, and Dianne gave Mike what ever she wanted to give me. We got back to the house I put my sweats back on and crawled into bed. Mike followed me and handed me a journal. "This is what Fitz's mom wanted you to have." I looked at it. I immediately realized what it was. I saw it so many times in his apartment, but didn't dare to read it. I opened to the first page.