Disclaimer: It isn't mine.
A/N: Sooo this is short, and I'm sorry. I'm in the process of writing the next chapter. Promise!
Laying on my well worn comforter I couldn't stop thinking of what just happened. Why did I freak out after Madison walked in on us?
Reality.
I stared up at the stupid cheap glow-in-the dark stars that Carlee and I stuck to the ceiling.
Yes, I've kissed a lot of girls, but not like that.
Kissing Ashley was like chocolate melting in your mouth. It's warm and delicious, but when it's gone you can't help but to go back for another piece. Again and again you reach into the bag, pulling out another delicious treat. Until eventually the bag is empty, and you find yourself licking your lips; savoring every last taste.
My entire body is still humming from that kiss. I can't believe it went as far as it did. Like I said, I've kissed girls and maybe felt a few up, but that's as far as I've gone.
I've never felt that connection that I feel with Ashley.
I think that's what scares me. This isn't just another high school fling.
This could be real; if I let it.
Turning on my side I see my phone light up.
Shit, I forgot to text Ashley and tell her that I made it back alright.
Hey Spence. You okay? Do I need to come and rescue you?
I giggle as Carlee lets out a huge snore. I swear that girl sounds like one of those really old people..you know..the ones that have nasal problems?
Nah, I'm fine. There were some random werewolf/vampire fight going on out in the hall. But I took care of it.
I probably totally could take care of it. I may look cute and innocent, but I have two older brothers. I know how to fight dirty.
I miss them. They may be annoying as hell but Glen and Clay have always been there for me.
In Glens words they've always "had my back like a buttcrack."
I smile as I check my phone again.
Go team Spencer! Well you must be tired from that dangerous endeavor. I'll let you sleep. Text me tomorrow…I really did have a great time…Night Spence.
I close my eyes and sigh; remembering the feel of her lips against my own. I don't think I can go much longer without doing that again.
I did too Ash. I'll talk to you tomorrow, I promise. Sweet dreams.
You know what? Fuck that.
Yes that's right. Just take that idea, turn it sideways and just fuck it.
I flip open my phone and pull up a new text and address it to Ashley.
Actually, I was wondering…do you want to go out tomorrow…like a dateish type deal thing?
Wow Spencer, your swagger never ceases to astound me.
I'm blunt okay? You should know this by now.
Yes, I would love too. How about we meet at the Quad around..say 7?
Wooo, go me!
Sounds great. See you then!
Setting my phone back on my side table, I lay back and let sleep overtake me; Ashley Davies never leaving my mind.
This morning has been absolutely horrible. I forgot to set my alarm, so when I woke up and realized that I only had 10 minutes to get to class….I decided to just pull on some sweats, tie my hair into a loose bun, and throw on some eyeliner.
I may be running late as hell, but I will never leave without me some eyeliner.
I hope to God Ashley doesn't see me. That would just be amazing.
Running across campus I notice that it's surprisingly lacking students today.
It's pretty cold though, I probably would've stayed in my warm bed too if I didn't have a stupid assignment due today.
Finally reaching my class, I open the door and find that my teacher is just getting there too.
That's just freakin' marvelous.
People are staring at me, probably because I'm gross and panting. Who could blame them?
Taking my seat, I realize what today is. Blahh with a capital B.
Really?
Today is the day we pick an excerpt from a short story that we've been working on and read it outloud, it's considered our midterm. The actual story is our final.
Wonderful.
"Alright people, I expect all of you to be quiet and attentive to each person." He stops and glares at each student. "Okay, whos first?"
I love how he says this like we're all going to jump up.
He's an old grumpy man with a comb over, who wears way too much cologne and sweater vests.
"Really, no volunteers? Guess I get to pick." He grins.
Shit. Don't pick me. Please dear sweet baby Jesus.
Do. Not. Pick. Me.
Annnnnd he picked me.
"Ms Carlin? Why don't you go first."
I grab my paper and slowly trudge up to the front. I picked an amazing day to look like a Dinosaur shit me out. Joy.
I don't look at anyone, I look directly at the excerpt in my hands. The one I worked so hard on.
…the one that I cannot relate to.
I open my mouth and just let the words flow out.
Everything that I have been through, all that I have endured; has led me to this moment.
For a second it almost seems pointless to fight, but for only a second. That unfortunately, was long enough to see right through me. As I saw my reflection in her eyes, I found myself unable to look away. All the fear, doubt, and shame that I have so expertly buried deep within myself was so apparent on my features, I felt my eyes begin to dampen.
The world continues to rush by without the slightest glance in our direction.
If only I could look away, to give some signal of distress. The unwavering trance that we are tangled in is sure to be misleading; a look of love or lust, no; those days have disappeared.
Our once happy lives filled with hope, love, and trust is long gone. Now all that will remain is apathy in its rawest form.
I fight for the will to break free from this horrendous life; from the contact, the silence, the powerful hold that she has on me.
She loses her grip for an instant, but that was all I needed to gain the upper hand. Her face contorts in fear as it is my turn to gaze into her mind; her soul. As she stands there before me writhing beneath my stare; I see nothing but what our lives have become, empty.
As a struggle begins, she tries to portray something more, something that does not exist.
I finally find the will to rip away from the pain that overcomes me, and in turn I am numb enough to walk away.
She holds her stare, I don't have to look; it feels like fire on my back. Burning me to leave a constant reminder of her unrelenting existence in my life.
However hard I fight, or how long I can withstand the urge to face her again; I won't stray far.
We are bound together with lies as strong as steel; unbreakable but never stainless.
After I finish, I get the courage to look up and I see everyone staring at me in awe.
"Ms. Carlin….that was beautiful." He's looking at me as if I sprouted a different head.
Yeah, that's right.
Take that!
I smile and walk…well…strut to my seat.
Maybe today won't be so horrible after all.
A/N: I know, I know. It' was short. But the next chapter has a Spashley date! Be excited for awkwardnesss.
