Chapter 7
Jane slept with Maura in her arms; their naked bodies flush together after a night of passion and lovemaking. The detective had fallen asleep feeling blissfully happy and content, with the love of her life tightly wrapped around her.
Jane heard a soft voice in the back of her mind but she didn't wake up. It wasn't until she heard a soft whimper that she opened her eyes. She looked up and saw Riley standing in the doorway. Her arms were wrapped around herself and tears were streaming down her face.
"Riley? Are you okay?" Jane whispered, carefully pulling away from her sleeping wife, making sure the blankets were still covering her naked body.
Riley nodded and turned around. "I'm sorry." She whispered and left the room. Jane quickly got up and put on her panties, a pair of sweatpants and a large sweater before she headed after the girl. She entered Riley's bedroom and saw the girl was putting on one of her new sweaters. Her shoulders were shaking and she sniffled as tears kept falling. Jane walked towards her foster daughter and put an arm around her shoulders, kissing her temple. "C'mon." She guided the two of them downstairs and sat Riley down on the couch while she went to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked carefully.
Riley shook her head. "Not yet." She said in a weak voice.
"Okay." Jane gave Riley some time to herself and some space while she made two damping cups of hot chocolate. "Maura told me you like hot chocolate." She said as she put the cups on the table in front of them.
"I do."
Jane sat down next to Riley, unsure of what to do. "Honey, I want to help you." She said softly. "I want to help you so badly."
"I don't know if you can." Riley answered, her voice barely audible.
"You underestimate my power." Jane said with a smirk. "I'm serious, Riley. Please talk to me."
Riley pulled up her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around it. "I keep having these awful dreams." She whispered.
"I used to have a lot of nightmares too." Jane said softly. "Something bad happened to me and I had to relive it every single night in my dreams." She saw Riley looking at her with shimmering blue eyes. "Maura made me talk about it. And that made me feel better. It made me feel better to get it out and it sounds stupid, but I needed someone to remind me that dreams aren't real."
Riley rested her head on her knees, still looking at Jane. Jane reached over to stroke a strand of hair out of her pale face. "I'm not as good in the psychology behind dreams as Maura, but I'm a pretty good listener."
Riley lifted her head and wrapped her hands around the warm cup of hot chocolate that Jane was offering her. "I dreamt you and Maura were gone. I was still in this house and you were just gone. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find you and I panicked and when I woke up I was still panicked so I went looking for you and I when I saw that you were in bed I knew I was being stupid and I got so embarrassed and then you woke up and I just-… I don't know what to do." Riley spoke softly and fast, unable to put together a logical sentence.
"You're not being stupid." Jane said softly. "I can't tell you how many times I woke up after a horrible dream and I had to wake Maura just to make sure she was still alive."
"Really?" Riley turned her head to look at the detective, gratefulness showing in her eyes.
Jane nodded and wiped a tear from Riley's cheek. "Yeah."
They stayed silent for a while, slowly sipping the hot chocolate. Jane was hesitant to initiate more physical contact, knowing Riley wasn't used to being loved. She had never known the love coming from a mother. Everything was new to her and the girl was feeling things she had never felt before.
A soft voice interrupted Jane's thoughts. "I thought that if I left on my own, it wouldn't hurt as much as if you sent me away." Riley whispered.
"That's why you ran away?" Jane asked.
Riley nodded and Jane saw tears shimmering in her eyes. "I know it was wrong to get into a fight. I was so afraid you and Maura would send me away after that. I thought it would hurt less if I just left on my own."
Jane's heart broke for the girl sitting next to her. "Oh baby." She whispered as she took Riley's cup from her hands, placed it on the table in front of them and wrapped the girl up in her arms.
"There's nothing you can do that will make us send you away, honey. Nothing." She took Riley's face in her hands and wiped the tears with her thumbs. "I wouldn't even send you away if you killed someone." Riley smiled through her tears. "I might have to arrest you, but we still wouldn't send you away."
Riley let out a laugh that turned into a sob and she allowed Jane to envelop her in a tight hug. Jane slowly rocked them back and forth as she stroked the girl's back. "What happened at the park?" She asked carefully.
Riley turned but didn't pull away. She rested her head on Jane's chest, avoiding eye contact. Jane rested her chin on top of Riley's head as she waited for the girl to answer.
"Stuart showed up at the park. He's still at the adoption center because he always causes trouble in foster homes." Riley whispered, her hands fumbling with the hem of Jane's sweater. "He asked about my new foster family and I was stupid enough to tell him about it. He-…" She stopped to swallow a lump in her throat and wiped her tears. "He said I would just blow it like I did last time. That I wasn't capable of living with people because I was so stupid and my dad ruined me."
Jane felt tears burning in her eyes. She fought the urge to track this Stuart down and kick his ass, making him pay for hurting her girl. In stead she just held Riley tight, soothing her pain.
"I started thinking he might be right but then he went on to saying rude things about me living with two lesbians and then I lost it." Her soft voice broke and Jane felt the girl shaking in her arms. "I don't know what happened to me." Riley whispered.
"What a jerk." Jane said in a husky voice, not knowing what else to say and deeply hurt by the comment about Riley living with two women. "There's no way any of that is true, Riley. He's just being an ass, don't take any of it seriously."
"But what if my dad did ruin me?" Riley said in a barely audible whisper.
"Listen to me." Jane tried to pull Riley back to make the girl look at her but Riley shook her head and buried herself in Jane's arms. "You're not ruined. I don't know what your father did to you but there's no way it ruined you. Yes, you made a mistake at the park. Yes, it was wrong to beat Stuart, no matter how much of an ass he was being to you. But making mistakes doesn't make you a bad person. You're a wonderful, sweet, smart and creative girl and nothing in the world can 'ruin' you."
Riley didn't reply but Jane felt the girl relaxing a little bit more in her arms. The detective fell silent while she leaned against the back of the couch, bringing Riley with her.
"No one has ever said that to me before." Riley whispered while she slowly untangled herself from Jane and wiped her tears.
"No one has ever told you that you're an amazing person?" Jane said with disbelief.
Riley shook her head.
"That's just wrong. I may only know you for a few weeks but I don't see a single reason why you're not."
"Thank you." Riley whispered.
Jane smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind Riley's ear. "Thank you for talking to me. It means a lot to me." She reached over to grab both cups of hot chocolate and handed one to Riley.
They silently sipped their hot chocolate while the early morning sun started peaking through the windows. "Jane?" Riley said softly.
"Yeah?" Jane turned to Riley and saw her brow furrowed in thoughts.
"We have that evaluation meeting today, right? Where you're deciding if I'm staying?"
"Yes, why?"
Riley nervously fumbled with her cup, her eyes looking down. "Can I stay?"
Jane let out a soft laugh, tears burning in her eyes while her heart burst with happiness. "Yes you can." She couldn't resist pressing her lips against Riley's cheek. "You're stuck with us now, honey."
Riley flashed a big smile. "I think I can live with that."
The two of them finished their hot chocolate, chatting about everything and nothing in particular. It didn't make much sense to go back to sleep since it was almost six thirty, so they decided to make some pancakes. Jane knew Maura wouldn't approve but the detective immensely enjoyed working in the kitchen with Riley.
"Pancakes? Really, Jane?" Maura walked into the kitchen, wearing one of Jane's running shorts and a sweater. The shorts were a bit small, making her legs and ass look even more perfect than they already were. Her blonde hair was tucked in a messy ponytail and Jane couldn't help herself from admiring her stunning wife.
"Good morning, beautiful." Jane smirked as she reached to kiss Maura's lips while she flipped a pancake.
"Good morning." Maura smiled and let the kiss linger for a moment. "Thanks for last night." She whispered seductively in Jane's ear.
"You are very welcome." Jane smiled contently as she watched Maura greet Riley who was mixing some pancake batter at the kitchen counter. "You're both up early." The doctor said.
Riley shrugged. "I couldn't sleep. Accidentally woke Jane up."
Maura stroked Riley's back. "Did you dream again?" She asked softly.
Riley just nodded and stayed focused on the pancake batter. Maura looked at Jane with a concerned look but Jane nodded and smiled. They didn't need words; Maura knew Riley had opened up to Jane. The doctor kissed Riley's temple before she turned to press some oranges to make sure the breakfast contained at least some vitamins.
"You better enjoy these pancakes honey, 'cause Maura usually won't let us eat any." Jane said to Riley as she playfully pinched her wife's arm.
"I prefer a breakfast with more vitamins and fibers, yes." Maura answered with a smile while Riley laughed.
The meeting at the adoption center wasn't until noon so they had the morning to themselves. Jane and Maura both had a few days off work. They ate breakfast together and enjoyed each other's company. Riley was still insecure and shy, but she was getting more and more comfortable and Jane slowly discovered parts of the bright, cheerful and sweet teenager she really was.
Jane still had to get used to the fact that they were mothers now. It wasn't just the two of them anymore. It wasn't that she missed the time with just her and Maura; she just needed to adjust to being a mother. She loved having Riley around and she immensely enjoyed their little family.
Jane couldn't help herself from worrying about Riley. She didn't know how or when, but she knew her father had abused the girl in a way. She knew Riley's father had been neglecting her ever since she went to preschool, and that she had been taking care of herself most of her life. But that was all. There weren't any further details in Riley's file and the girl herself wasn't ready to talk to them.
They could tell Riley wasn't used to having a family. She wasn't used to people taking care of her and worrying about her. It broke Jane's heart that Riley hadn't known how it felt to be loved until she was 14. It felt like they had to make up for a lost time, like they had to give her all the love she had missed in the past years. Jane was completely up for that task. She was going to do everything in her power to give this girl a loving home and family, starting with the decision to keep fostering her.
