Tags to episode 10x07:Hashtag.

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"Sir?"

Hotch whirled around, to see Kate approaching him in the break room of the BAU. They had just closed a case, and he himself had just returned from the hospital to see Morgan.

"Am I in trouble for what I said to the reporters?" She asked, hands going behind her back in a military stance. "Rossi told me to see you when I passed him."

Yes, she had certainly given the reporters an earful, one that if he'd been there, it wouldn't have been permitted. But seeing how things had gone down...

"Good job," he said, relaxing and putting some more creamer into his coffee. "It's nothing I would have said, but maybe that's a good thing."

Her eyes widened, and a small smile came to her mouth. "I'm sorry for what I said in your office," she blurted. "And I know I apologized then, but it wasn't a real apology. There's no excuse, but I was just afraid that I was going to lose the spot and..." She shrugged. "I like it here. I love it here. I fit here." She turned to him, eyes wide. "Don't I?"

He clapped a hand on her shoulder, and squeezed it lightly. "I've already told you. You have no worries on that front."

"How's Morgan?" She sighed, relaxing into his hand and he felt the tightness in his chest ease at her small gesture of trust.

"He's okay," Hotch said. "Shaken, but who wouldn't be? Savannah'll be there, though. He'll move through this with her help."

"He'd better," Kate said, smiling. "I should go. I'm dead on my feet, and I do mean that. I wore bad shoes today."

He looked down; black flats.

"I have flat feet," she explained. "I wear flats when I'm too lazy to put better shoes on, or want to look cute, but I always, always regret it."

"Go home," he said, a smile in his voice as he walked by, resisting the almost irrepressible urge to tousle her hair.

He was glad things were back to normal between them. But when he looked back at her, she was staring after him, something that unsettled him.

Maybe things had changed.


He noticed that more over the next few days. Although he'd officially cleared Kate, and she'd apologized for real this time, she kept close, as though she thought he still wanted to supervise her.

And he did want to supervise her, but not for the reasons she probably thought.

They walked down a hall together, her shorter legs making her tail him rather ungracefully, and though he wanted to slow to her pace, he didn't want to baby her. And she'd notice it.

Besides, they were in a hurry. A high up in the FBI had asked for an evaluation of Agent Grace Thomsen, and Hotch was taking Kate along since she'd never been able to do something like this before.

"I know what to expect, of course," Kate suddenly said, breaking their silence. "I've been on the receiving end of these things more than once. But I've never been examined by two agents."

"You're really just there to observe," Hotch began. "I'll be asking her questions, and you watch her reactions. Pay attention to how I phrase things, and how she replies. What words we choose tell a lot."

"I know," she said. "What about Grace? Is she one who can dodge the questions and give no real answers?"

"I've never met her," Hotch said. "She's described as a very gentle woman who recently had significant trauma in her life, details confidential. She's back at work too early; her supervisor is worried and wondering about her."

"Whenever I did need time off for things like that," Kate began slowly, "I always took as much time as possible. It's probably the opposite of what everyone on this team would do, since you all are so dedicated, but I find that I really need that time. If I'm close to breaking, I do know that work will just push it, you know?"

"I think we are all the exact opposite of that," Hotch grinned. "JJ came back early from maternity leave, Reid rarely uses his vacation days and I think Morgan only takes time off now to be with Savannah. Or his family in Chicago. But never for himself."

"And you?" Kate asked, as they reached the door.

"I tread a fine line," Hotch said. "I've seen agents break because they came back too soon, and agents give up because they didn't come back soon enough. I know my limits, and each break is the length I need it to be."

"That's admirable," Kate said. "To know yourself like that. It's weird," she began, as his hand started to turn the knob, and he paused so she could finish. "It's weird, but I've found that it's always the people who most readily admit their imperfections that I'm most drawn to."

He stared at her, wondering at the meaning behind her words, but she seemed oblivious to any double-meaning she may have intended, and Hotch decided it had nothing to do with him.


"She can't be let back into the field," Kate said immediately as they left the room. "She'll snap, just like that."

"I saw it too," Hotch said. "She had a look in her eyes I've seen before."

"Elle Greenaway?" Kate asked, pressing the button for the elevator, and Hotch startled.

"How do you come to know that name?"

Kate shrugged. "I do my research. She shot a man in self-defense, on paper, but..."

"It's a little grayer than that it reality," Hotch finished.

He was silent for a moment, reluctant to say anything else, but the words tumbled out. "I've kept in touch...I've tried to keep in touch with her over the years. I never had that much success, just enough to know her current address and phone number. I'll call her when I'm in over my head, just to know that she's still doing fine. It's like proof for me that I can still be fine too."

"And what about Emily Prentiss?" Kate asked. "Everyone talks about her so much, but no one seems to know why she left. I know that she had a deep cover, one that even included her faking her own death."

"Could you do that?" Hotch suddenly asked, as the elevator doors closed.

"No, I couldn't do that to the ones who loved me," Kate said. "If it was just me, maybe, but I could never keep that kind of deception going. It would hurt too much."

"That's why she left, I think," Hotch said. "She couldn't fit back into her old life. It was too hard to try."

"And Alex Blake?" Kate asked. "I know, she transferred to Boston. But she'd been working towards this position for so long, and only stayed on the team for two years?" Kate shook her head. "What else was there to it?"

"She needed to be closer to family," Hotch said. "Among other things."

"Oh," Kate said, and her voice was suddenly very small.

"What?" Hotch asked, turning to her.

"I used to have that," Kate said, crinkling her nose as if to stop herself from crying. "My sister, she was planning on having kids. And then, when 9/11 happened, I was pretty serious with my boyfriend Chris. But after...I never returned to who I used to be."

"He didn't like the new you?" Hotch asked cautiously, and Kate shook her head.

"The new me didn't like him, more likely," she said. "I got a lot more serious about my career after that. I didn't want baggage to weigh me down, and somehow, that's what Chris became."

"You had a scare," Hotch said matter-of-factly. "He got involved in one of your investigations, got too close to the gunman, proverbially speaking."

Kate stared at him, her mouth dropped open. "I was going to ask you how you knew that, but...profilers."

"Profilers," Hotch repeated, as the elevator dinged and they stepped out onto the BAU's floor. "Care to tell me what actually happened?"

"It wasn't a gunman," Kate began, but JJ came up to them.

"Hey, how'd it go? Did Kate do alright?" She said it in a joking aside to Hotch, and Kate smiled uncomfortably.

"She was okay," Hotch said, a faint smile on his lips. "Hey, JJ, can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course," JJ said. "I have something to ask you, too."


Kate watched them leave, feeling an odd, unfamiliar bite to see them go.

This team was so close together. In a way, everyone belonged to each other. They all had that claim, that friendship that had gone back years and years; that friendship that hadn't been broken by traumatic events, but strengthened.

I want that.

Something spoke inside her to see Hotch and JJ leave together.

Not just the friendship. I want...

But it was too hard to say, even to herself.


A/N: Please review! I'd love to know what you think, and any suggestions you might have for future chapters.