Oh my friggen god its been forever and im so so so so sorry…..seriously, really sorry…..writers block is horrible but that's no excuse! Here it is, my next chapter….
The familiar stench of debauchery and whiskey, mixed with the humble aroma of sweat and rotting corpses filled my freckled nose as Will, Jack and I made our way to what I was presuming to be a tavern. But rather than enter we walked around it to find where they kept the meat before it ended up with a bullet between the eyes. Poor little piggy's.
Laying in hay amongst the swine was a large bellied man with strange sideburns holding a bottle, snoring away as though he were comfortably sleeping in an extravagant room that didn't reek of pig shit and something that I couldn't identify.
"Bloody hell this is more revolting than the sewage." I said, crinkling my nose.
"Tortuga has plumbing?" Jack murmured, filling a bucket with water.
"Yeah, those lovely off yellow sometimes red streams on the side of the "roads". That's our plumbing, only the best for our visitors here on the lovely and oh so peaceful island of Tortuga." I said, gesturing wildly, doing nothing to help him and will with whatever it was they were attempting to even do.
"Is there any particular reason you are behaving like a sarcastic little wench? That time of the month?" he questioned, not an ounce of humor in his voice.
Eventually he and will stood over the sleeping man, as the first bucket of water viciously assaulted him, causing him to roughly awake and sputter, muttering curses and threatening to kill us.
"Jack? Me first love" he said happily, only the slightest slur in his voice, I was impressed. "You know its bad luck to wake a man when he's sleeping." He said, seriously as he leaned forward, as though he actually believed what he was saying.
I rolled my eyes; again, I really, honestly needed to quit that. It was a habit, a crutch, and I try to avoid those unless they involve some form of good old fashioned intoxication.
"Well lucky for me I know the counter curse." Jack said, kneeling down to eye level with the smelly wretch whose name I had yet to be told. Jack then babbled some nonsense that was apparently a counter curse which translates into "gibberish im making up but since you can't understand it and im using English it sounds legitimate." I am surrounded by idiots, why am I still here?
"Aye, that'll about do it." the man said, taking jacks hand and hoisted himself up into and unsteady standing position. Only to be greeted with another onslaught of water, courtesy of Will.
"Blast im already awake!" he yelled, resembling and upset toddler.
"That was for the smell." Will said with a hint of finality, and we all looked at each other in agreement, the man had been sleeping with the dinner.
We then found ourselves inside the tavern, and I was sitting next to a standing Will, chugging what I presume to be my second cup of whiskey.
Will looked on in disgust, then turned and eyed the tavern with mistrust.
"It's understandable when you think about it."
"What is?" he asked, his head tilted to the side in confusion.
"Why pirates continue to come here despite the lack of sanitation amidst the brutality. You may look down on it, but to us, its home. You can go wherever you like, but we can't. Even if we were to dress all nice and fancy with matching shoes, people would still know. We just don't fit in, and we don't need to. We all may hate each other but we still accept each other and don't look down on anyone. Most of us could never be accepted by society."
He was quiet for a moment as I finally set down my mug, liquid sloshing back and forth; I stopped drinking whenever I was cross or upset. It never led to anything I could be proud of, or sometimes even remember.
"Why couldn't you blend?" will finally asked, as I looked up at him in confusion at his currently adorable state of non comprehension, made me think of my old nickname for him, fluffy.
"Because, I just couldn't. I saw Elizabeth, with her perfect hair and perfect face and manners. Even in all the danger she was eloquent and graceful. I'm brash, constantly look like a wreck, I'm not smart in the way a lady of your world is supposed to be, I mean, I can't even count."
"Elizabeth is beautiful, but so are you, you know. In your own way, you're exciting, exotic, and, um, well you know. And I think you're pretty smart, and if you want I can always teach you to count." He said, flushing as he looked everywhere but at me.
I knew he was just being polite, I mean, I'm nice to look at, but I was no superior beauty like Lady Elizabeth. Men didn't stop in their tracks to watch me walk by because they knew. I was rough around the edges, a beauty in my own right, but nobody actually stopped to take notice of the wild haired blonde who was too tall, too tan, with dirt all over her face.
Before I could continue, an intoxicated woman started to heavily lean on William, which I took as my queue to turn around and go back to drinking merrily with no intention of paying the bartender who was stupid enough to serve me before I gave him the money.
Sometime around dawn jack, and his chubby buddy whose name I hadn't committed to memory yet escorted a slightly unsober me and a scarred for life William to the docks to check out a possible shrew. Or screw. Something that sounded like that.
When we arrived, it was finally light out and the sun was peaking out above the trees. There on the docks was mr. pig with a bunch of pirate degenerates out to make a quick buck by joining a bunch of idiots and me on a voyage to….ok im not even sure but once im sober ill be sure to ask jack. I don't need will thinking im a bigger idiot than im sure he already believes me to be.
"Alright you pig shit eating swine! Join us and I wont be forced to force you!" I slurred, deftly pointing my sword in their unfortunate direction.
"Love, please do leave the negotiating to me." jack whispered heavily into my ear, his breath brutally attacking my nostrils.
I lowered my sword and glared at everyone before wandering to the ship, not really caring what happened. Seeing as I had full intentions on leaving with this ship anyways, crew or no crew. Preferably no crew, so I made my way to the helm, I could slip away slowly without them noticing until it was too late, im talented like that. Now the only question is, where is the helm again?
