It had been four days since Kate had walked out of the precinct, planning never to return, but here she was again. Standing by the doors of the elevator with people bustling past her, she stood frozen, watching as the doors opened and closed. She watched people getting on with their days as normal, with not a care in the world. She envied them. She was not sure how long she had been standing there, building up the courage to step through those doors. Someone barged into her and snapped her back into reality. Seriously, how bad could it be? She'd spent the last 13 years chasing down murderers; all she had to do today was convince Gates to take her back. Kate walked into the elevator and pressed the button for the 12th precinct.
It was weird walking past her empty desk, past Esposito's too. She felt like she didn't really belong here anymore. It used to be where she felt most at home, but everything had changed. She had changed. But she needed to be back so she would suck it up. She could feel eyes on her and hear the sounds of whispered voices as she headed towards Gates' office.
Gates was on the phone when she spotted Kate standing outside her door. "I'll have to call you back" she said and hung up. She looked shocked to see her there, but signalled for her to come in.
"What brings you back here, Beckett?"
"I made a rash decision and I'm here to ask for my job back. I'm really sorry for everything."
"That's your problem, Beckett. You are too impetuous… and it makes you reckless. I won't have you back. You've proven to be a liability. You refuse to follow orders, hide things from your captain and put not only yourself, but other detectives in life-threatening situations. I can't have that in my precinct! I'm sorry." She wasn't sorry, she was just a hard-ass on a power trip, thought Kate.
"But, Sir…"
"I suggest you leave my precinct."
Kate stormed out of Gates' office, slamming the door behind her. As she headed back to the elevator she could feel the tears pooling in her eyes. She wasn't sure if it was the anger, rejection, or the impact this would have on her case that was causing it, but she couldn't let it out. Not here. Not in front of any of these people. She escaped the building and was grateful for the rain that had started to fall. It disguised any tears that betrayed her. She made her way to the playground, to that swing set. It was her thinking place. It was empty due to the rain so it gave her the opportunity to just sit undisturbed. She sat and let the rain wash all the thoughts from her head. Part of her wished she could just drown in it… the part of her that was weak… the very small part of her that she buried deep and tried not to think about. She was strong; she'd been through this before and survived. It was different this time as she had more to lose, but she also had more to fight for. Kate felt like she needed to sit there a little longer before she could handle going home. There was so much to face once she got there.
Esposito, meanwhile, received a call from Gates. It turned out she wanted him back. "Without Detective Beckett's influence, you are a pretty good cop. And Ryan's work is not up to scratch without you. He's moping around and I can't have that. There are murders that need solving, and as much as I hate to admit it, you two make a pretty good team."
"So what about Beckett?"
"What about her?"
"Are you not letting her back on the force? You know she's the best homicide detective here."
"She's also the most unpredictable and insubordinate detective I've ever met. And I don't trust her. I need people in this team I can rely on. I trust that I can count on you Detective Esposito?"
"Yes, Sir." Esposito grudgingly agreed. He hated that Beckett would not be back on the team, but at least he was. She had an in with he and Ryan back together on the force, though they would have to work the case behind Gates' back. He wondered if Ryan could do that, with still a hint of bitterness in his thoughts. It did make him feel better to know that Ryan had been moping. Ryan needed him, and they had been through enough together to get through this hurdle. After all Ryan had been right before about saving Beckett's life, not that he would admit it! But they were partners… more than that, they were brothers.
Esposito called Kate as soon as he got off the phone with Gates. He needed to talk to her, to tell her the good news. She looked at her phone as Esposito's name appeared on the screen. She let it ring. She wasn't ready to talk to him yet.
He guessed he should probably call Ryan too. If they were going to have to work together again, they should probably be on speaking terms. As Ryan answered the phone he sounded overjoyed. He'd already heard that Espo had been reinstated. Hearing Ryan ramble on about what was going on at the precinct and all the gossip he'd heard, he couldn't help but smile. It was just so normal. Suddenly there was silence on the line. "You there, Javi?"
"Yeah, I'm here. So what's the plan then about Beckett? What are we gonna do?"
"Well we can't talk about it here at the precinct. How about we meet at The Old Haunt?"
"See you there brother."
