(A/N): Man! I bet no one is reading this anymore. But I decided to write again just to have some fun like back then. I also started taking an interest in fanfiction again since I decided to go back to the good old times. It's been three years so I hope my skills ain't rusty. Okay, I looked back at the reviews and seemed like everyone wanted me to do Cabin 1 consisting of Kakashi Hatake, Sasuke Uchiha, Neji Hyuuga, and Sabaku no Gaara.

Author: Okay you guys! Time's to get into action! (-turns and sees characters in retirement home with wrinkles, gray hair, and wheel chairs or canes-)

Kakashi Hatake: What's that missy? You're going to have to speak up!

Sasuke Uchiha: You kids get off my lawn!

Neji Hyuuga: And turn down that rockity roll music!

Gaara: Oh!...My hip!

Author: D:! Oh Noes! I'll break out the wrinkle cream and hair dye...

Kakashi: Wow! That cream worked like a charm. What's in that stuff?

Author: Oh, just illegal stuff but thankfully, there's no Food and Drug Administrations in fanfiction. Now, are you guys ready to be totured?

Kakashi/Neji/Sasuke/Gaara: Hn...wait, what?

Author: Okay! I don't own Naruto. Here's...CABIN ONE!

talking

thoughts

Inner or Narrator

Kakashi lifted his "Camp Sarutobi" headband and rubbed his eyes together as he groaned out of exhaustion beneath his mask. Never had he had such horrible cabinmates. No, seriously, they were horrible. Everyday, he would hear them argue day in and day out. When they weren't arguing, they would try to kill each other:

Aiming at each other in the archery lessons. Trying to drown each other in the lake. Poisoning each other's food. Waking up at the dead of the night, hoping to smother one of his cabinmates. Trying to cause an "accident" in the knife throwing lessons (whose idea was that?) Or just plain choking each other. (as long as it wasn't in front of Hinata)

And since Sarutobi cutted his pay based on dead campers, he was forced to stop them.

'Damn rent' Kakashi thought as he reached for his aspirin. He was already down to his last bottle and wouldn't be able to afford another one until he got his weekly paycheck.

'My last cabinmates didn't make me go through so many aspirins in a day and they were a cannibal, schitzo, and the third one kept stealing my money! Oh Zetsu, Sakon or was it Ukon?, and Hidan, why did you leave me?..' Kakashi asked as he opened the aspirin bottle. "Hey! Shut up over there! I swear, if it wasn't for these aspirins, I think I'd..."

Empty... was his aspirin bottle. Kakashi dropped the bottle in horror as his knees dropped to the floor. It was then that Kakashi...snapped...

Scene Change!

"So anyways, these three need to overcome their differences and stop arguing. I don't care how you do it, just do it." Kakashi explained to Ibiki as he left the three young boys: angry, tied up, and gagged. Ibiki could have sworn that when Kakashi left, he could see him doing a happy dance while laughing maniacally. Then Ibiki smirked as he called Iruka.

"Oh Iruka! Cabin one came to therapy first! You owe me 100 dollars!"

"Oh alright...here!" Iruka sourly said as he handed the money. "I suppose we should let them go..."

A Few Moments Later...

"Okay, if you would just give me your attention please!" Iruka yelled as the three argued. "Hey...Hey! HEY!" No effect. Iruka then turned to Ibiki who was counting his money.

"Don't look at me. Even thought I'm so drop dead gorgeous." Ibiki joked as Iruka rolled his eyes and left for a few minutes. Then he came back with his hands behind his back.

"If you guys stop fighting and go through this session, you each will get a Hinata plushie!" Iruka bribed as he showed a doll that resembled their beloved. Faster than the wind, the boys sat in their seats. INNER GAARA/NEJI/SASUKE: GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME! "And you thought those sewing classes were a waste of money." Iruka said to Ibiki.

"Yep. You sure showed me. -cough-Pussy-cough- -Cough- Wuss-Cough- -COUGH- -COUGH- FAGGOT-COUGH- -COUGH- COUGH- Hey. Get me a water, all that fake coughing dried my throat." Ibiki ordered as Iruka's forehead vein started to bulge.

"Okay, this first excercise requires you young men to write what you like about the other person. (INNER GAARA/NEJI/SASUKE: LIKE HELL I WILL!) Go ahead and begin." Iruka instructed as the three teenagers just stared at their notepads. (Insert cricket chirp)

One hour later...

(cricket chirp)

Two hours later...

(cricket chirp)

"Look, either write something or no plushies." Iruka threatened as the boys thought really hard and started scribbling.

"Okay you guys, put down your pens. Now stand up and each of you share what you wrote." Iruka instructed.

Gaara: (clears throat) I'd like Sasuke's balls to be in a blender.

Sasuke: I'd like Gaara's mouth to chew horse shit! INNER SASUKE: -GIVES GAARA THE BIRD-

Neji: I'd like it if these two would stop acting like cumsuckers.

Gaara: Cum suckers?

Sasuke: This from the guy who wouldn't leave his room until his uncle went out and got him that discontinued conditioner!

Neji: I had split ends!

Gaara: It's not like the whole world will end!

Iruka: Plushie! Remember the plushie!

Sasuke/Neji/Gaara: -grumbles-

Iruka: Okay, this next excercise takes us back to where this problem started. While it happened, we'll try our best to reenact what you guys looked like to make it more real. Was there anything special that you wore when you guys started fighting?

Sasuke: Neji was part robot. INNER SASUKE: -DOES THE ROBOT-

Neji: It was a special kind of braces, four eyes. INNER NEJI: F-K YOU!

Gaara: You were picking up radio signals.

Neji: Oh yeah? Well, how's your little teddy bear doing?

Gaara: I outgrew him years ago.

Sasuke: You mean just last week when your sister Temari said you couldn't bring it?

Gaara: Shut up. INNER GAARA: TT . TT DON'T WORRY TEDDY! I'LL BE BACK SOON!

Iruka: Okay, so metal mouth, fours eyes, and wuss. Let's see what I got here...

Scene Change!

If you went into the therapy cabin, there, you would see an Ibiki rolling around in 100 dollar bills saying "Look Iruka! I'm rolling around in YOUR money!"

An Iruka who was glaring at his partner, a Neji with foil wrapped around his mouth, a Sasuke wearing glasses that resembled Kabuto's but with broken lenses, and a Gaara, with a teddy bear.

INNER GAARA/NEJI/SASUKE: 'Thank GOD Hinata-chan/sama/hime can't see me.'

Neji: Yish ish eddy artic (This is idiotic)

Iruka: Maybe I should fix that so he can talk properly.

Sasuke: Don't bother, even back then, we couldn't understand a word he said.

Gaara: You're talking to a featherduster dumbshit.

Iruka: Anyways, how did this problem start?

Sasuke: It began when these two fell in love with my future girlfriend.

Neji: Yosh gurf mend? (Your girlfriend!)

Gaara: Your girlfriend? And you're pointing to a mop and a wig? WTF?

Ibiki: Sometimes I can get dates!

Gaara: Why do you need a wig?

Ibiki: To cover this. (-takes off his Camp Sarutobi headband to reveal his scars and burns-)

Neji: HOBBY MAP! (Holy Crap!)

Gaara: DAMN!

Sasuke: What? (-takes off glasses-) OH GOD! (-puts them back on-)

Iruka: Okay, since Ibiki has eternally scarred you guys, I have evaluated that maybe you guys shouldn't have let someone get in the way of your friendship. I think the only way for you guys to have a break through is maybe if one of you will apologize.

Gaara:...Sasuke, Neji, I'm sorry...(Iruka's eyes gleamed in hope) that you guys have nothing else in your life so you guys try to take Hinata-chan away from me. (And there it went.)

Neji: Vut? Boo arse sho met choo fasset! (What? You are so dead you faggot!)

(And they're off ladies and gentlemen!)

Iruka: THAT'S IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! YOU GUYS ARE BEYOND HOPELESS! YOU GUYS WILL NEVER EVER STOP ARGUING!

"Um, excuse me Iruka-san. But is this a bad time?" Hinata asked as she creaked open the door.

"Sorry Hinata-chan, but right now-"

"Is a great time Hinata-sama!" Neji interupted as the three quickly got rid of the foil, glasses, and bear.

"Excuse me young man, but is this YOUR room?" Iruka asked.

"Is that YOUR face, or what came out of an elephant's END?" Neji asked as the three quickly left to tend to their princess.

"What did you need?" Gaara, Neji, and Sasuke asked only to glare at each other.

"I hope you don't mind but I really need you. There was no other way." Hinata began.

"WHO?" Gaara, Neji, Sasuke asked in anticipation only to glare at each other again.

"Um, all of you. Please follow me." Hinata said as she went with the three boys to quickly follow after her.

"I need an aspirin." Iruka groaned as he rubbed his temples.

"Good luck. Kakashi cleaned the whole camp out of the stuff." Ibiki said.

(A/N): THAT'S ALL FOLKS! NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE ABOUT CABIN TWO!