My next chapter will be the darkest yet, just to warn you all. I've been a bit sad? Idk but I just finished reading one of my fav fics and it just inspired me to finish and feel a little better. Enjoy, sorry for the wait xx thank you again for all of the reviews!

"There you are. I was wondering when you'd wake up."

Emily groaned, hands holding her head as she sat up, needing to blink several times before she was awake enough to really comprehend who she was talking too. Her head felt heavy, passing out did that too her, the last thing she expected however was to feel this bad afterwards. She'd finally gotten some sleep, why did she feel like she hadn't slept at all? At the end of her bed, not her bed, or even Alison's, someone else's, sat a smiling Spencer cradling a cup of coffee, watching her friend. Spencer's bed. But how did she get here? Why was she here?

"What happened?" Emily asked quietly, sitting up, watching Spencer.

"From what Hanna and Paige explained downstairs? You had a panic attack and passed out. I sent them to grab some food and pick up Aria while I watched you."

It flooded back suddenly, an instant wave of regret and worry filling her as she met Spencer's eyes. So they all knew, but they likely didn't understand.

"I knew, when I found out about your relationship with Alison that nothing good would come out of it for you. She'd get everything she wanted plus more and you'd be, to be honest Em, I figured you'd just take it. You were always so weak with her, I'm surprised you came to us at all." Spencer stood, putting her coffee mug down as she moved to sit closer to Emily, a smile that was meant to be reassuring, sent shivers down the others spine.

"Alison always said she and I were alike. It's embarrassing to see she got it so wrong with you Emily, she knows better." At Emily's confused look, Spencer sighed, reaching for Emily's exposed skin as she sat in a tank top, Emily coming to the realisation herself that she'd been stripped of her safety jacket. Pulling the sheet up, attempting to cover herself, tugging on it when Spencer tugged back.

"She could've made it so pleasurable for you Em, so you enjoyed it, there's always a mix of pain in pleasure."

"Spencer, what are you going on about? Whatever this is, whatever you think, it's not true." Spencer shook her head, fingers grasping Emily's chin as she lifted it, taking in the sizeable hickey she saw too.

"We all have things we enjoy Em, you just weren't shown very well. Now Alison's gone and scared you. It won't do. Tell me Em, what else has she done, did you even have a safeword?"

Having enough, Emily pushed the sheets off herself to stand, about to yell when Spencer grabbed for her. They struggled for a moment, Emily's tired body eventually giving in to Spencer's persistence. Spencer had her arms wound around Emily's waist, gently pulling her back into bed, moving from behind Emily to position her back in the middle, sitting back in front of her.

"Humour me Emily, for just a moment, let me show you, I promise it won't get you into any trouble, and you can find out if Alison's way is really right." Spencer coaxed a smile from Emily, rubbing her thumb over her hand reassuringly.

"Think of a word for me."

"A word?"

"Any word."

"Coffee." The two shared a smile, although she was hesitant and still tired, Emily was curious as to what it was Spencer was trying to show her.

"I want you to say coffee when it gets too much, so I know you're serious, say coffee and everything stops Emily."

"What stops, Spencer-what are you doing? Hey!"

Spencer didn't kiss her, which really threw her off guard considering how close Spencer became, climbing into her lap, forcing Emily to look up to Spencer's face.

"When she choked you Emily, she forced her hands so tightly around your whole neck." Closing her eyes, Emily tried not to wince when Spencer's hands wrapped around her throat, no pressure applied, just a demonstration. It triggered how scared Emily felt previously however, how scared she'd been when she went without breathing for so long. Emily clenched her hands tightly, to stop her, remembering how she'd decided to give Spencer a chance in al of this.

"Instead she should've just pressed here, slowly, gradually see how long you could handle without breath, and then let you breathe. Enjoy it Em."

Spencer's thumb pressed down, the only pressure on her neck, causing Emily's breathing to become short momentarily, air allowed into her lungs a moment later. Before Emily could ask why Spencer was doing this, Spencer's thumb pressed down again, longer this time, and when she released Emily breathed with the slight high she felt from it with a sense of thrill and appreciation. Lifting a hand to her neck, Emily felt where Spencer had just pushed down, no lingering pain present or obvious.

"What else Emily? Tell me how else she's failed you." Looking away, Emily had the word coffee on her lips when she was saying something else, cursing herself for opening up.

"She pulls my hair, it feels like it's going to rip out." Making 'tsking' sound Spencer reached for Emily's hair tie, pulling her hair down, letting it fall lose around her shoulders.

"She was probably grabbing it wrong, not from the root, if she grabs it here at the end, then she's just hurting you, and a bigger idiot than I thought. She should've grabbed it here." Demonstrating, Spencer grabbed the ends of Emily's hair, not tugging, mildly uncomfortable, before moving to the roots of Emily's hair, Spencer's fingers soft, but able to control how Emily looked up at her.

"Did she draw blood?" Spencer asked quietly, fingers withdrawing from Emily's hair to brush against the hickey on her neck. The small shrug was enough to make Spencer shake her head in disapproval.

"You know I heard her. Spanking you. I wondered if she left the window open on purpose. I could do it properly Em, show you how it can feel good for both of us." Spencer was leaning in closer, lips just brushing Emily's neck. Emily stopped breathing, focused on Spencer's breathing against her neck.

Alison.

She was cheating on Alison.

"Coffee, Spencer stop."

Pulling away, Spencer smiled, hand smoothing over Emily's forehead.

"Go back to sleep, Hanna will probably give in and wake you up when she gets back." Spencer moved off her friend, pulling the blanket over Emily.

"When you need me Emily, I'll be waiting." Spencer waited until Emily closed her eyes and slipped back into her sleep before leaving, taking her mug with her, as if Spencer had never been there to begin with.

When Emily next woke, convinced that she'd probably dreamt her encounter with Spencer, it wasn't Hanna that woke her, it was Paige, helping her to sit up, hugging her tightly, whispering an apology in her ear.

"What were you even doing there?" Emily asked as they were both walking downstairs.

"I was just getting back from the post office, I wasn't expecting you, or for you to collapse." Paige tried to laugh, but joke fell short and awkward. Emily's friends saved her however, wrapping their arms around her tightly, Aria snatching a hug before Hanna wrapped her arms around them both, kissing Emily's cheek with a loud smack.

"You're up. Great. We've got Chinese food, the newest IT movie and Jaws, the first one, we've got ice-cream as well, everything you'd need for a break up." Hanna said, steering Emily towards the couch. Looking over her shoulder in confusion at Hanna, Emily cleared her throat.

"I'm not breaking up with Alison." She said, falling on the couch with a huff as Hanna patted her back.

"Sure, and we're not all moving off to college soon. You never did tell me where you're going, I guess you've still got some time."

"Hanna..."

"How about we start on the Chinese and a movie and talk about this later. Poor Em has only just woken up." Aria jumped in to save her, again, handing her a box of fried rice to start on.

Hanna sat tightly to her right, expecting Paige who stood awkwardly off the side to claim her left, Emily was surprised when Spencer sat down, taking her attention.

"Sleep alright Em?" Spencer asked, fingers smoothing over her forehead, giving her a knowing smile. Staring, Emily nodded dumbly, questions that she couldn't ask in front of the others threatening to leave her. Starting on her Chinese food, Emily got through half the movie before she snapped.

"Stop staring and ask your questions already." Moving the bow empty container off her lap, her friends looking sheepish, Paige spoke up first, having stared at her from the other side of the couch.

"How could you stay with her when she'd done that?" Emily bit her tongue, a harsh reply swallowed back as her nerves threatened to bring up her stomach contents.

"I love her, and this is more of a misunderstanding than anything."

"She choked you, that's murderous."

"She wasn't trying to murder me Hanna, she was trying too-"

"Whatever it was, it won't happen again. You know better Em. You know what you need and what's right and wrong, don't you." Spencer cut off the growing argument between Hanna and Emily, a hand clutching Emily's tightly.

"Emily, we're here because we care, we love you. However you decide to handle this, we've got your back." Aria smiled reassuringly. Emily appreciated it as she sat back in silence, eyes still watching her as she tried to lose herself to the movie in front of her. It wasn't fair. Everyone was expecting something of her. To be good, to break up with Alison, to move on. Why couldn't they trust her?

Aria, Hanna and Paige had to leave by nine, Hanna driving everyone home. An exhausted Emily was shown Spencer's bed, no time to question earlier, Spencer said something about college and papers before closing the door, leaving Emily to fall into the pillows and to sleep as quickly as her head had hit the pillow.

"Emily, Emily wake up, wake up Em come on." Groaning, Emily swatted at the hand stroking her face, mumbling for them to go away. It was too early, she still felt like she hadn't slept at all.

"Baby, wake up." Emily cracked open one eye, coming face to face with a blurry, but definitely there Alison, who was frowning down at her.

"I was worried. I heard the others outside earlier, I saw them carry you in here, I was gonna come Em but you told, didn't you, you told them and now you're going to leave me."

The blurriness left, a pouting Alison filling her vision as Emily sat up, Alison sat beside her.

"How'd you get in?"

"Please, Spencer's passed out over her laptop like she always is at this time. The rest was easy."

The two stared at each other before Alison hugged Emily, pulling Emily's head to her chest. It took everything within her not to clench her hands, demand Emily out of Spencer's house and back into her bed. But she was on dangerous footing. Emily ran from her once, Alison didn't want to upset her until she was safe, unable to run away again. Somewhere only Alison could control her away from prying eyes.

"Don't leave me again, please Emily. You promised, why would you promise if you couldn't keep it?"

"I thought I could, it was too much, you're too much." Spencer's words washed over her, the gnawing feeling in her gut that it was real, she'd betrayed Alison.

"How am I too much?" Alison pulled away, hands catching Emily's face, studying her. She frowned, licking her lips as she held back assumptions on what was really going on. She needed to soften her words, rather than lashing out.

"You ran, you always run when things get too hard, when you can't cope, iI was making sure you wouldn't. I know I failed, quite obviously, but tell me I'm not right."

"You're not. She was right, Spencer was right, let go of me I don't want to talk to you right now."

Pulling her face away, Emily moved, slipping in sheets, managing to crawl somewhat away from Alison. Following her, Alison was on top of her, her front pressed to Emily's back pressing then hard into the mattress, hands encasing Emily's wrists above her head until she had no control on where she was going. Leaning down, Alison's chest pressed between Emily's shoulder blades as she whispered in her ear. There was hair everywhere, Emily jerking away, already pulling away, trying to get Alison to hear her out.

"Listen to me, hey, listen, everything I've ever done, was for you. I've known since the moment I took you under my wing, since the moment I let you kiss me in that stupid library that I would do anything for you. I ran away to keep you safe, I came back to keep you safe. And now, look at me, still trying to prove myself. What will it take?" Emily stopped struggling, head turned to rest against the mattress so she could breathe, think even. Closing her eyes, Emily just wished she was in Alison's embrace and had never opened her mouth, rather than fighting with her. However frustrating it was, eventually Emily would've snapped and they'd be here, having this conversation again.

"I want to be with you, not owned by you."

Alison sat up, letting go of Emily's wrists, pursing her lips, placing her weight on Emily's thighs to keep her there. She ran her hands over Emily's back, shoulders, the lengths of her arms. Long hair everywhere, fanning everywhere, covering her fingertips. Alison moved her hand back down to Emily's lower back, over her pyjama clothed bum, soothing over it so gently.

Lost in thought, in the caress of Alison and her gentleness, Emily only sighed when Alison's hands finally pulled away. Expecting to get up, Emily gasped, jerking from Alison. A sharp prick in her arm, Alison rolling away, getting off her to open the door. As things began to fade for the second time today, Emily saw two figures enter the room, reaching for her, Alison's soft voice soothing her.

"Get her in the car, I'll follow later. Get her in her room, lock everything up and get out of here. I don't want to see you two again." Alison spoke, handing keys to her two helpers. She ignored their guilty exchange in looks as they got into the car, Emily lying peacefully in the backseat.

As they drove off, Alison walked back to her home, one she'd miss dearly, seeing how plans had changed, Emily had made it so that they would have to leave much earlier than planned. That was fine by her, Alison could have Emily all to herself.

If Emily had thought she was bad before, she had another thing coming.