"No, I'm telling you, you guys go first!" Cinderhands yelled at the Chubsters. A few of them had tried to protest against his leadership, and they'd have to pay for it.

He'd learned that from his old boss, Marquis. The best leadership strategy was to just kill everyone that didn't listen perfectly. Eventually, only the loyal ones would remain, and they would finally listen to him.

The Chubsters, of course, disagreed with his management strategy, which explained the burning buildings in front of them. Just make them fear your flames, then set them on fire and throw them at the enemy.

The morality of it was… complicated. Technically, they were all just summons, not really people, although they had independent thoughts. However, he was pretty sure there was some sort of mental bleed-through from their summoner. Not only was there the master effect that made them loyal to their summoner, they also seemed to share some of her opinions, at least regarding which of them was expendable, and which of them was not. Or perhaps that was just an excuse, because in all honesty, burning Chubsters was pretty fun if you didn't think about it too much. It was like gaming. Sure, it was more realistic, but it had equally high levels of lard-asses.

The three fat men started running through the streets. Or, well, it was more like they were wagging, sort of like penguins. Chubster's power made him slow but tanky, and while they weren't immune to bullets, they did buy time while getting shot.

"Daunty, jump up the side of the buildings and like, throw rocks at them or something," Cinderhands suggested.

"I could strike at them with my Arclance," Daunty the baby Dauntless suggested.

"Nahh, that's basically just a taser isn't it? I prefer the rocks idea," Cinderhands said, watching as Daunty used the slight decrease in weight granted by his boots to climb up the side of the building, then ran along the street while the last three Chubsters were getting shot.

"Uber, go after him, and do everything he does but better," Cinderhands continued, knowing just how insulting that would be.

The Uber jumped after the Dauntless, climbing the wall better than a mountain goat on a sheer ledge, then stumbling over the top like an idiot. His flanking maneuver in place, he turned his attention back to the Chubsters, which were currently being cut up by tinkertech lasers, their outfits set on fire.

"Hey, I'm the flaming guy over here!" he yelled out in anger, heating up his hands, readying a set of fireballs and launching them at the Chubsters.

As his fire impacted, it burned straight through the armour and fat, the flames only slightly hampered by the capes' Brute power. His flames burned through the Chubsters, the fierce heat creating a massive amount of smoke, obscuring his position from the enemy. Exactly as he'd planned.

He rushed forward, the sound of his footsteps obscured by the screaming Chubsters, and came through the smoke right as the Uber and Dauntless pelted the mercenary soldiers with stones. He took advantage of the surprise, throwing some more fireballs, then ignoring the men as they did the smart thing and stopped, dropped, and rolled. He jumped over them and punched the lock of the door they were guarding with a fiery hand, either melting through it or burning the wood around it to ashes in an instant, he could never quite tell. Behind him, Uber and Dauntless dropped to the ground. Uber landed in a perfect three-point landing, and Daunty dropped on top of him, splaying the pair of them out on the ground, on top of each other.

"Gay joke!" Cinderhands said as he entered Coil's hideout. For this audience, he couldn't be bothered to come up with something actually good.

As he walked through the empty hallway, the screams of the burning men behind hem started to fade, and a circle of blue light surrounded him. It whirled around him, reminding him of the summoning process. Was he too far away from his mistress? Had she recalled him somehow?

The light spun faster and faster, and the circle became smaller, eventually engulfing him in blue light. It blinded him momentarily, and he closed his eyes in reflex. Several seconds later, when he opened them again, hoping that no-one had taken advantage of his momentary weakness, he noted text floating in front of him, of the same type that sometimes informed him of the name and star values of his fellow summons.

Level up! LVL 2/30.

He stared at it, trying to make sense of the data. Was he stronger now? Could he get fifty times stronger than he was now? Was level 1 his baseline strength before he'd been summoned?

His thoughts raced, trying to figure out how this had happened. Was it killing the Chubsters that had done it? No, that would be ridiculous. If so, Acidbath would've noticed this entire thing far before he ever did.

Then again, Acidbath was a fucking idiot, stupid enough to completely ignore strange messages like that.

He smiled. With his, the would be stronger than ever before. Even better, if he levelled himself up, he would be useful to his mistress, even as a lowly three-star. And if he was useful enough, perhaps she wouldn't throw him away the way she did with the Chubsters, or the way Marquis did with everyone whose face he didn't like.

"Ninety-Eight point nine-eight-four-seven-three-five percent chance the Chubsters keep coming," Dinah said.

The kidnapper in the skintight spandex looked annoyed, which didn't exactly fit with his costume.

Yes, theoretically, putting a snake on your superhero costume was a great way to be intimidating. In practice however, the man's tailor had fucked up and given him a cute snek instead, which just looked like it wanted head-boops.

"Doesn't matter," the man said, his fingertips folded in front of him as the flickering lighting just barely lit his face. Was he wearing reflective sunglasses under that mask? "We can keep out the Chubsters.

"Eighty-Seven point six-three-five-four percent chance the Protectorate investigate the target the Chubsters keep attacking," Dinah continued.

"Don't think they'll safe you girl," Coil said, "Pitter, give her her candy."

The man approached, needle at the ready. She didn't want the man to come near. Not only did she hate needles, these people obviously didn't understand that the entire point of candy was the taste, and that injecting it intravenously was just pointless.

Also, the candy was drugs instead of actual candy, and there was only a zero point one-three-five-eight-six percent chance that someone fucked up and there was actual candy in there. Liquified gobstopper or something.

"If you do that, there's a seventy-eight percent chance you die in the next couple of hours," she bluffed.

That seemed to shock Coil, who hadn't yet figured out that anything that crude was just something she said instead of an actual number.

The man swiped his hand across his computer screen. In real Bond-villain fashion, he'd replaced his normal operating system with something wholly impractical that required hand gestures for the most basic of shit, and used expensive hologram projectors for three-dimensional memes.

"Hmmm, seems there's been a data breach," the man said, folding his hands before him again. "Pet, what is the chance that Dragon will attack us within the hour?"

She looked, attaining the number.

"Thirty-seven point eight-four-three-seven percent," she said. "But only three if you give me to the man upstairs."

She could basically see him thinking, weighing his options, knowing exactly what the chances were.

"Chance Cinderhands leaves if I give you to him."

"Ninety-eight point seven-three-four-eight percent," she said.

"Highly specific Master effect then, like my Tattletale expected," the man mumbled to himself, like he was trying to share his thought process with someone. "Pitter, knock her out and drop her in the hallway. We can always grab her again later."

Pitter approached, bringing out a different needle. She still didn't like it, but at least this one wasn't filled with pretend candy, just containing normal drugs instead.