Gone
Hermione looked up at the clock again. Harry had given up on getting her to stop, deciding that all distraction techniques had run their course. Instead, he wrapped his arm around her and allowed her to read while he watched. To the casual observer, they would look like lovers, enjoying each other's company on Christmas Eve night.
Harry knew that many did not understand their relationship. Cho had run off because of Hermione. Ginny didn't say much, but he could tell she was jealous of his relationship with Hermione even though he and Ginny were not together. Ron usually wanted to be the wedge between Harry and Hermione because, Harry suspected, he thought they were 'too close'. The funny thing was, neither of them had any desire to make something romantic out of their precious relationship.
The idea had struck them, once. In third year, they tried to see if their relationship could have been more. After a few awkward kisses and caresses, it was decided that Hermione and Harry were destined to be friends only. But they were best friends. She was the sister he never got the chance of having. He was the brother she'd always wanted. They shared both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds. Hermione always had his back, even when Ron didn't.
Hermione flipped another page in her book without really reading it. It was nearly one in the morning. She guessed that was good news. The revel couldn't last much longer, and if Malfoy hadn't contacted her yet it would mean that, at the very least his cover hadn't been blown. She'd give it one more hour before heading to bed.
The thought barely got out of her head when the galleon at her wrist ignited. Her heart immediately went into overdrive as she pulled the coin from her skin and flipped it over to read it, casting a wary look at Harry first.
RoR, now. Bring Potter.
Hermione read it aloud and Harry helped her to her feet as she was a little wobbly. "Come on," he said, taking her hand in his. "It might be nothing." He couldn't help but notice that Hermione's reaction was much stronger than just one of a handler to a spy. He wondered what was going on between them. Maybe they'd actually formed a friendship. As long as Draco remained trustworthy, he wouldn't have a problem with it, but if the boy stepped out of line, he'd have Harry to deal with.
Hermione and Harry quickly made their way to the seventh floor. As the whole place was empty they didn't have to bother with the invisibility cloak or other modes of stealth. When the door appeared with a pop, Hermione lead Harry inside and shut the door behind her.
Malfoy looked distressed, and she told him to calm down but he shook her off as he continued to pace. "What happened? Is your cover blown?" Hermione asked, fearing the worst.
"I...I mean...I..." Draco sputtered shaking his head. He tried to get the words to leave his mouth but as he saw her standing there, looking too concerned for him, the words got lodge in his throat.
"Does this have to do with me?" Harry tried to help. His presence had been requested. Perhaps the threat on his life had been heightened. Great, just what he needed.
"Malfoy," Hermione said, her voice calm, "just tell me what you need to say. You know I won't judge you. Just tell me." Her voice was soft as she approached Draco, placing a gentle hand on his back. He flinched slightly but allowed her to keep it there. He turned to look into her eyes and she was more emotion there than she'd ever seen in him. He looked scared, sad, and intensely lonely in a way she'd never seen someone look before.
"Let's sit down," he said, finally deciding that he couldn't hold it back any longer. Hermione nodded and followed him over to the couch where Harry joined them. Draco took her hand in his for support. Harry had to admit, they seemed very comfortable with each other, but that was likely to be expected when they worked together so much. He almost felt like an intruder on an intimate moment, but he pushed the thought away, instead, gearing up for whatever Malfoy had to reveal.
"I...I told my mother I was going to Zabini's," Draco explained. Hermione just nodded, motioning for him to continue. "I had to come. I didn't want you to find out from anyone else..." Draco choked. He could do this. He had to do this. He didn't want to be the one who had to do this. He'd have given anything, in that moment, to go back a few years and never have put himself in the position he was in. He stared at her for a long moment, taking in her beauty, that until recently he'd been too stupid to notice. Would she ever allow him to look at her again after this? He doubted it. He was positive he'd get a new handler. Would that kiss be destined to never be repeated?
Of course, given the gravity of the situation, he knew that thoughts of kisses and possible star-crossed romances should be the last thing in his head, but he couldn't help but wonder if his news would destroy her, and him with it.
"Go on, Draco," Hermione said softly, using his first name in an attempt to get him to feel more comfortable.
"There were several people murdered tonight," Draco said, looking down at the ground. He heard Hermione gasp and Potter lay a comforting hand on her shoulder. Good, that was exactly why he'd wanted him to come.
"You didn't have to..." Hermione started, fear in her eyes as she let the question hang in the air. She knew that would destroy him.
"No," Draco said, shaking his head. "The older members demanded the honor," he bit out. "But there is something else," Draco said, reaching into his pocket. He took a deep breath, and like a coward, looked at his feet. "Your...your parents...they were the last ones killed tonight," he said, his voice shaking as he pulled out the locket her mother had been wearing along with both of her parent's wedding rings from his pocket.
Hermione just stared at him for a long moment. Draco could see Harry's eyes widen as well, as he prepared himself to pick up the pieces of his best friend when she finally came apart.
"I couldn't do anything. I offered to move them..." Draco choked, "so that I could bring these back to you," he said, forcing the jewelry into Hermione's right hand. He didn't want to hold them anymore. They were a reminder of what he'd seen.
"My...m..." Hermione started, but before she could say anything that made some sort of sense, she dashed for the bathroom that had just appeared out of nowhere in the Room of Requirement. Harry shot a concerned look at the bathroom door as he heard her retch over the toilet. He looked back at Draco for a moment before moving to the bathroom to check on her.
"Hermione," Harry whispered into her ear as he gathered her hair from her face and held it to the side. "Hermione, we will get through this, I promise you." His heart broke. Now they had something else in common. They were orphans. He never wanted her to have to feel that pain. "Stay right here, I'm going to relieve Malfoy. I'll be right back."
All Hermione could do was nod. Her brain wasn't even functioning. Her parents were dead. She clutched her mother's jewelry in her hand. Dead. Cold. Gone. No more Christmases together. No more dental conventions. No more anything. She couldn't bare it.
Harry noticed a very distraught Draco sitting on the couch with his head in his hands and walked over to him. "Thank you for calling for me too. I'll make sure she's okay," Harry said awkwardly. He'd never shared a kind word with the boy-no, man-before, but it was obvious Malfoy cared about Hermione and that was enough for Harry. He cared about her enough to tell her the truth himself and risk his own life to give her some part of her parents to hold onto.
"Just...just make sure she knows...I couldn't do anything," Draco said miserably. He felt pathetic practically begging Potter for help, but he couldn't bear if she thought he'd been complicit out of apathy.
"She knows," Harry said. "But I'll make sure to tell her again."
"I have to get back," Draco said, standing up. He looked awkwardly back to Harry. "I was supposed to report back to Gran...Hermione when I returned on New Year's Day. I assume I'll be transferred to someone else, though..." he said.
"I doubt that, Malfoy," Harry said. "Hermione never gives up-especially now. I think you'll find, that after the shock wears off, this will only prove to make her more determined to help you and Snape spy on Voldemort," Harry explained. He noticed Draco winced at the use of the dark wizard's name, but he didn't say anything.
"Fine. I'll continue to contact her then, if I need to," Draco said. Though, unless it was an absolute emergency, he had no intention of burdening her further until New Years.
When Draco left the room, Harry returned to the bathroom where he found Hermione resting her head against the toilet. She had barely moved. "Come on, Hermione," Harry said, helping her to her feet and handing her a glass of water to wash her mouth out. She was moving like a zombie, but at least she was responding.
He led her to the couch and wrapped both arms around her. "I know this doesn't mean much now, but never forget that your parents loved you very much. They will never be far away." With that, the dam broke. Hermione's body shook violently as she pulled Harry close and sobbed into his chest. Harry said nothing, just stroked her hair and let her cry.
It had taken over two hours for Harry to get Hermione to calm down enough to breath properly again. By that time, it was near dawn. "Hermione," he cooed, his voice soft and velvety as he held her tighter. "I think we'd better tell Dumbledore what Malfoy...reported." He couldn't bring himself to actually utter the atrocities aloud.
Hermione nodded weakly, though she didn't look much like she wanted to move from her spot at his side. "I'll come with you," Harry promised. Hermione nodded again and let out a small sigh as she stood up, feeling a little light headed as she did.
Her whole world had fallen apart in a matter of minutes. She didn't know how to live in a world where her parents no longer existed. They gave her life. They fed and clothed her. They supported her. They gave her a love of learning and books. Everything she was came from them, and now...they were gone. The idea was so absurd that she wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't seen the intense look in Draco's eyes when he'd told her.
Harry and Hermione walked silently to the Headmaster's office. Hermione was no longer crying, but she didn't look any better. Harry supposed it would be a while before Hermione could ever be the same again...if she ever was. The difference between them was that, at least his parents died when he was so young he couldn't remember them. Every day Hermione would be reminded of the loss of her parents. He squeezed her a little tighter.
"Acid Pops," Harry said the password. He knew it was early, but Dumbledore was always on call if anything was needed, especially for the cause. When Dumbledore appeared at his door at the top of the spiral staircase, he was in his dressing robe, though his eyes were alert.
"Harry, what a surprise," Dumbledore said looking back and forth between Harry and Hermione. "Is Mister Malfoy okay?" he asked, growing confused.
"Professor," Hermione croaked, pulling away from Harry. This was her job. She didn't need to be a burden to anyone, least of all Harry and Dumbledore. "Draco came to me tonight. They killed...many. He didn't give exact numbers, but there were several. He was not forced to do anything." Hermione swallowed hard, fighting back tears again. Harry squeezed her hand. She knew he was encouraging her to tell Dumbledore everything, but she was finding it hard to put such a distressing thing into words.
"They...th...I..." she couldn't get the words out. It didn't seem real. She looked at Harry, her eyes pleading. She knew Dumbledore must have been extremely confused, but her mouth was not communicating with her brain at the moment.
"Professor, Hermione's parents were killed at the revel tonight," Harry said, softly as he pulled Hermione close to him again.
"My dear," Dumbledore breathed, slipping into his chair behind his desk. "Have a seat."
Hermione sat in one chair while Harry sat in the other. "Miss Granger, I'd understand if you wanted to be taken off this assignment. Given the circumstance..."
Dumbledore was cut off quickly by Hermione, who seemed to find her voice. "NO!" she cried. "I can still do this. I can help Malfoy get all the way to the top, and we can bring that bastard to his knees!" Hermione's eyes were flashing with intensity, and both Harry and Dumbledore were taken aback.
"I just assumed, Miss Granger, that given tonight's events, you might not wish to continue," Dumbledore explained cautiously.
"No, sir," Hermione said, allowing her voice to return to its normal pitch and volume. She looked into his eyes defiantly. "Given the circumstance, I am only more committed."
Dumbledore nodded mutely. "Very well, Miss Granger. But I will warn you; this mission must be your primary focus. Revenge can fuel us, but we mustn't allow it to blind us. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Hermione nodded mutely. He was absolutely right. While she wanted to avenge her parents, her head must remain unclouded with vengeful thoughts if she hoped to help Draco bring that evil bastard down. Well, a few vengeful thoughts wouldn't hurt, she guessed. "May I go back to my room, please?" she asked after a moment of silence.
"Of course," Dumbledore said, exchanging a meaningful look with Harry who nodded in his mentor's direction. He wrapped his arm around Hermione once more before leading her out of the room toward Gryffindor Tower.
Draco was miserable. No matter what he did, where he went, or what he tried to think about, all he could see in his head was the look of total shock and devastation on Granger's face when he broke the news to her about her parents. He wondered if telling her of his final act of kindness to them would make her feel better or worse.
He sighed and flipped onto his other side for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. Sleep was elusive. It had been all week, but even more so now. Tomorrow he'd be returning to Hogwarts, and he had no idea what he'd be returning to. Would Hermione ever forgive him? Would she ever be able to look at him without thinking of her dead parents? His parents weren't much, but he didn't know what he'd do if he woke up one day an orphan.
Even through the cloud of anxiety and self-loathing, he couldn't help but also be reminded of her soft curves pressed against his lean body and her pliant lips against his. He groaned in frustration. Now, on top of not being able to sleep he had an incredible hard on. His guilt wouldn't let him do anything about it. His attraction wouldn't make it go away.
He knew something changed Christmas Eve night. What had been a bizarre attraction to the Gryffindor was cemented as something much more when he realized he'd have to tell the lioness that her parents had been murdered. His heart clinched in his chest when he saw them, and Hermione's face flashed before his eyes in the throes of violent sobbing. He was forced, on that night, to admit to himself what he'd been denying for weeks. He had deep feelings for Hermione Granger.
Unfortunately, he could push any possibility of actualizing those feelings out of his mind. He'd been an accomplice to her parent's vicious murder. He was just as guilty as the evil witch, who shared his blood, that cast the killing curses. He felt the familiar metallic taste of bile in his throat and swallowed it down. Maybe, if he was really lucky, Hermione wouldn't totally cast him out of her life.
Hermione jumped slightly when she felt the Galleon at her wrist heat up. Its placement had a whole new meaning. Her mother's charm bracelet hadn't left her wrist since she'd been given it five year ago, and as she remembered her mother, her eyes welled with tears for the millionth time over the week.
She shook her head violently, composing herself. She would not do this. Her parents were nothing if not loyally devoted to what was right and teaching her to be strong and independent. She would honor their memory the best way she knew how. It didn't mean her heart didn't hurt. She read the gold coin quickly.
I'm back. RoR?
Hermione pointed her wand at the coin and informed Draco that she'd meet him in ten minutes. She tried in vain to tame her tangled hair, but sighed and gave up. Over the last week, she'd barely left Gryffindor Tower. Harry stayed with her, and Dumbledore had food delivered directly to them. McGonagall had made an appearance the day after they'd informed the Headmaster of her parent's demise, offering her sincerest condolences and a shoulder to cry on, should she need it. Harry was filling that post quite nicely, though Hermione had already decided, she would not cry over them anymore. They would want her to move forward. As hard as it was, she would not let her parents down.
"I'm going to meet Malfoy," she said to Harry as she passed him in the common room.
"Want me to come?" Harry asked. He'd seen Hermione trying to hold herself together all week, and he wasn't sure how healthy it was. Perhaps she really had worked through her issues, but he found it hard to believe that pain and rage weren't consistently bubbling under the surface.
"No," she smiled slightly. "I'm okay. I shouldn't be too long."
"Okay," Harry said. "But if you need me, I'm only a Patronus away." Hermione nodded and moved through the portrait hole.
She hurried to the seventh floor. Passing the familiar wall three times, she quickly entered the room that she and Draco had been sharing for over a month and closed the door behind her. Malfoy was there, his posture rigid and his face tense. "What happened now?" she asked, not really wanting to know. Her emotional state was such that she wasn't sure she could take any more bad news this week...or month for that matter.
"Nothing," Draco answered quickly. "I just...I mean...Are you okay?" he asked, his voice tense.
"I'm fine," Hermione answered instantly. He flinched at her cold tone and his heart sank. She really did hold it against him. It wasn't like she didn't have reason to.
"Hermione," he breathed, "I'm so sorry."
"Why?" Hermione snapped, whipping around to stare him down. "You didn't do this Malfoy. And I won't let that evil snake take my parents and make you feel guilty about it. So don't you dare apologize to me!"
Draco swallowed and nodded. He felt great pity for the Dark Lord at that moment. Granger was scary when vengeful. His guilt was little assuaged, but she wasn't blaming him. The thought warmed him. "I wanted to tell you something...about that night."
Hermione shuddered and took a deep breath. Did she really want to know? Could she even handle it? "What?" she croaked out.
Draco considered not telling her what he'd done, but part of him wanted to offer her a bit of comfort, and he hoped she'd take it as that. He could see her hanging on by a thread, and it was heartbreaking. "They didn't...I mean to say...I made sure they didn't know what was happening to them," Draco stuttered.
Hermione looked up at him, a quizzical look on her face. "H...How?"
"A non-verbal spell," Draco explained. "I made them think they were somewhere else...happy. My mother taught it to me...when I was little," he offered with no other explanation.
Why? She wanted to ask him why. If he'd been caught, he would have been killed on the spot. Why would he risk everything just to keep her parents from feeling pain and fear? As the realization of what he'd done hit her, the damn broke. As hard as she'd tried to hold in her emotions, she couldn't any longer. She let out a shaky sob and almost collapsed on the floor, but Draco strong arms slipped around her waist, holding her against him so she wouldn't fall.
She clutched his shirt and wailed in relief and agony at the same time. Her parents were gone forever, but there was some solace in knowing that they didn't die in pain or fear. They just...slipped away. To her, that made things easier.
Draco was not used to holding anyone, let alone a weeping girl, but he'd never felt more natural than when he was holding her close and rocking her in his arms. "Shhh, Hermione, everything will be okay..." he cooed. He moved them both to the couch and held her closer as he whispered calming nonsense to her.
Finally, Hermione lifted her bushy head from his chest and wiped viciously at her face. "I'm sorry, that was very unprofessional," she apologized, her voice cracked from crying.
Draco sighed. "You may be my boss, but I'd like to think we are friends," he said awkwardly. "You don't have to be professional with me." His voice was more pleading than he'd like, but then again, Hermione had just bawled her eyes out into his chest, so it wasn't like she was in a place to judge.
Hermione just nodded. "But we do have to keep our focus," Hermione said, moving out of his embrace. "If we want to bring...the Dark Lord down, we can't let personal vendettas cloud our judgment."
Draco nodded. "You are right. So, we will start work again tomorrow?" he asked. He assumed they needed to still come up with a plan to try and kill Dumbledore without actually killing him.
"Yes," Hermione said. "How is Occlumency coming, by the way?" she asked. That would be the most important skill he'd gain. Unfortunately, she couldn't teach it to him.
"Well," Draco began, "Snape and I will be focusing on it every day for the rest of break. Does Dumbledore have any orders for me?"
"Not yet," Hermione said, biting her lip. "I think he's waiting for an affirmation of your Occlumency skills." Draco nodded and got up to leave. He hated to go back to the lonely Slytherin common room, but he knew their business for the day was done.
Hermione followed close behind. She bit her lip, trying to think of the right words to say to him as he got up to leave. There was so much she wanted to express about what he'd done for her parents. She wanted to know why he'd done it. She wanted to throw her arms around him and never let go, because any man who would do that, at great personal risk, was an amazing individual. She wanted to get inside his head and know what he was thinking. Why had he held her when she cried? This was Draco Malfoy. A month ago he hated her.
She stopped him as he reached for the doorknob, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. He turned around to face her, a look of apprehension on his face. "Thank you, Draco," she finally said, a small but warm smile gracing her beautiful lips. "It means a lot to me to know that their last thoughts were happy ones."
Draco was shocked but returned her smile, nodding his head slightly. He was glad she'd taken what he'd done the way he wanted her to and hadn't felt he had overstepped his bounds. "You're welcome," he said. Before he turned to leave Hermione pressed her lips lightly to his cheek and squeezed him to her for the briefest moments before slipping past him and out the door.
Draco stood there for a moment cupping the cheek she just kissed unable to move from the spot for several moments. Hermione Granger was an enigma, and he was going to figure her out because he knew, women like her didn't enter your life very often.
