Authors Notes: I know this chapter sucks… don't beat me up. When I tried to edit this I had an annoying pain in my chest. No excuse, but I don't know what else to say. Much thanks to everyone who reviewed my last chapter since I really wasn't at all happy with it, but either way, I really appreciated it. This is actually the first fic that I start and develop a bit. Now, all I have to do is continue and finish it. Hopefully I do, so then I would have proof that not all I start I don't finish. Ha! Life is a drag. I have a feeling I'm about to come face to face with 'writers block' and I have no way on avoiding it. I've also been thinking of changing my screen name from SS46 to GA46 or GEA46 or GEM46. Don't really think anybody really cares, just felt like sharing that...
… alright, on with the story.
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Chapter 7: The Itch
Kuwabara woke up the next morning not to the sound of an alarm, or chirping birds, or the sunrise, or by Eikichi, but to an annoying itchy sensation coming from under the bandaged arm. He went about his usual mornings ignoring it. As he walked to school he pulled out a study sheet, that he had written while the teacher spoke of the lesson in class, and studied it, every once in a while unconsciously sticking his hand inside his sleeve and scratching the itch over the well-wrapped arm.
Suddenly a presence casually moved to his side and said, "Hey."
"Hey." Kuwabara said back with the same neutrality in his voice that the other had easily possessed.
"Got you something, big man."
Kuwabara turned to look at Yusuke, letting his hands fall to his side with the study sheets messily rolled up in one hand. Yusuke held a hot coffee to Kuwabara. The cup similar to the one Kuwabara got the previous day, with the same logo and everything. Sizing it up, he yanked it from Yusuke's grip and downed the hot liquid while Yusuke looked at him with concerned.
Immediately, Kuwabara felt like a weight was lifted of his shoulders. "Thanks." he whispered, finding it the only way to express his gratitude.
"Eh, it's nothing." Yusuke said modestly. "I'm just glad you're talking to me, again." He finished cheerfully wrapping a hand around the taller mans shoulder as they continued walking.
Kuwabara sighed. He wasn't sure how different he was acting, but maybe he still had time to make it seem like nothing had changed. Like he was given another chance to redeem his life, or at least to make it seem as normal to him as possible. He gave a small smile to Yusuke.
"So, 'we cool?" Yusuke asked, stepping in front of him and extending a hand towards Kuwabara.
He looked at it, it was his chance and he was going to take it. "Yeah, 'we cool." Kuwabara said clasping his hand with that of Yusuke's into a handshake.
"Cool, see ya after class." With that he turned and walked away. "Oh, and I like your new hair cut." Yusuke yelled out never turning back. Kuwabara watched for a while as he walked away, unconsciously scratching at his bandaged arm again, before walking into the building.
As the day went by, and he took test after test, the itch on his arm grew to be unbearably uncomfortable. At one point, in between an exam, he even attempted to stick a pencil up his sleeve to give him at least some relief; but only managed to break the pencil. By the time classes where out and everyone was making plans for their summer break, all he had in mind was tearing the bandage off and giving his arm the much awaited scratch.
He was leaning against his usual brick wall as he tucked and pulled on the bandage, trying to fit a finger inside but he could not seem to reach the spot. Hopelessly, he straightened up from his slump position, he leaned his head back on the brick wall and looked up at the bright sky. He sighed and closed his eyes, absorbing the warmth coming from the sun; trying his best to relax, but it was almost impossible since the itch remained persistent.
As his last resort, he swung his arm to the edge of the brick wall, somewhat slamming the itch onto it and began to carelessly saw his arm over the brick surface. With a violent motion he pushed and pulled his limb over the acute edge to satisfy the itch, unfortunately, to no avail.
Suddenly he felt a pain run up his arm and he abruptly pulled it away; he must have done it to hard and it was probably reopened and bleeding, but he didn't seem to mind it much since he actually assumed that it would it happen eventually. He just hugged his arm close to his chest as he panted and glared at the wall as if it was its fault to begin with.
His attention was suddenly taken away from his limb and he turned to look behind him as he heard whispers. The two girls he saw before just outside of his apartment, with the blue uniforms, stared back at him, once again gossiping; their arms crossed with one another, giving the resemblance of conjoined twins, as they stood side by side and pointing a finger towards his direction.
"What?" He yelled as he felt his self worth minimize to a caged animal under their scrutinizing gaze.
Both the girls stopped their whispers at Kuwabara's sudden outburst, slapping their hands over their mouths as if offended by Kuwabara's acknowledgement of them, turned and continued it once again as they walked away, but this time no longer in whispers but in a loud mockery of him.
He could not take it anymore, staying quiet was never one of his best attributes, so venting out his true feelings one more time wasn't going to change how people thought of him. "WHAT?" He yelled out again, but the girls kept on walking. "I HAVE AN ITCH… I HAVE A FUCKIN' ITCH… WHAT WOULD YOU DO?" He finished practically using up all the air in his lungs and recovering as much as possible with a deep inhalation that left him sill panting for more as his rage seemed to diminish with practically all the self respect he had left for himself. But he had to admit, he did feel better.
"That's not a good way to catch a girl's attention." A well expected voice said. Immediately Kuwabara turned to meet big brown eyes, and tugged at his sleeves trying to make himself look composed and neutral.
"Oh, hey." He irritably said as walked past him, releasing a sigh when he thought he had enough distance between him and Yusuke so not to be heard from the other.
"What? Not happy to see me? He said, pretending not to be bothered by Kuwabara's behavior.
"No, it's not that." It was barely a whisper, but Yusuke could tell that something was bothering him. He has noticed it practically all week, he just wishes he could just punch it out of him. But if Yusuke was correct, he knew that that's not how things work when dealing with friends and problems and all that stuff. So, he just had to find another approach to it.
He remembered how on a sleepless night he watched something on a soap-opera that could particularly do the trick to get Kuwabara to open up. Then, he thought it was funny and queerly, but now he could almost understand, almost. Yusuke rolled his eyes and internally braced himself, getting ready to test the waters. "I'm listening." Yusuke began with a cheesy smile, trying his best to sound honest but not to pushy. He never expected that having a friend was like being in a relationship, which either way was both foreign to him, and he once again comprehended why he never took anything between him and Keiko to seriously.
Kuwabara sighed again. "So, 'we going or not?" He said as he slowly walked away, down to the sidewalk, heading out of the campus; leaving his friend with a frown on his face, partially in disappointment but basically in confusion.
Yusuke growled under his breath in frustration and mumbled to himself. "Why doesn't this come with a manual?" noting that his attempts where taken for granted. He could almost punch a wall right now, but instead held his hands up in front of him, curling his fingers as if he was squeezing something in his palms, fighting the urge to actually put Kuwabara's neck in between them. Finally after relaxing and taking a couple of breathers, he ran and took his position next to Kuwabara as they walked down the sidewalk, thinking it was better to try some other time.
They remained quiet all the while, the sun was beginning to set but Yusuke didn't pay attention to the beautiful sight in front of him, all he seemed to notice was Kuwabara and how he kept his gaze on his feet; and how every time he did glance up, he would squint at the dimming sun, and clench his jaw as if troubled; and how the angle of the sun revealed a rapid pulsing vain on Kuwabara's neck; and how he remained so close to the wall, and as far from Yusuke.
It wasn't like Kuwabara to act this way. He would usually talk and laugh, and just plainly be so lively and not so painfully distant, like he was now.
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Kurama and Hiei where already in Koenma's office by the time Yusuke and Kuwabara arrived to the toddler's usual whereabouts; Kurama was seated in one of the four chairs in front of Koenma's desk while Hiei was leaning against a wall. Yusuke and Kuwabara went ahead and sat on each side of Kurama who was distracted reading a file similar to the ones that lay on Koenma's desk.
Yusuke curiously looked over Kurama's shoulder to see what classified novel he was so entangled with at the current moment. "So… what'cha reading there, Kurama?" Yusuke asks. "Let me guess, blood, gore, murder…"
"Mainly." Kurama responds without taking his eyes of the material. "It's our next mission."
"Oh, fun. Let me see." Yusuke said yanking it from Kurama's hands.
Kurama rolls his eyes annoyed at Yusuke's rudeness, but he was use to it. "You could ask."
"Huh…" Yusuke responds as he scanned through the file. "I did ask."
Then the large doors swung open and a miniature person fallowed by a blue ogre walk in, but Yusuke doesn't seem to notice as the toddler took a stand next to him, barely peaking over the chair's armrest. Koenma makes a sound as if clearing his throat, and with a tiny hand, he reaches and takes the document from Yusuke.
"You should know better then to read through unauthorized documents, Yusuke." Koenma says as he walks over to his chair behind the desk and tosses the document carelessly to George; who juggled the documents a couple of times into the air before catching it securely in his arms finishing his interesting trick with a sigh, absolutely relived on the fact that today he wasn't going to get fired.
"What'cha gonna do, huh, little tot? Send me to spirit world prison?" He said leaning over on his chair and resting his arm on Koenma's desk.
"That's not a bad idea." Koenma says contemptuously.
"Right." Yusuke laughs not taking Koenma seriously. "Then whose gonna save the spirit world every time a big nasty demon come-ah-knocking?" And he continued laughing absolutely in bliss of Koenma's irritation towards him at the current moment.
Koenma's face turned red at the lack of respect from the spirit detective, but all in all kept his mouth shut with a pouty face as he crossed his arms and sucked on his pacifier vigorously.
"Oh, c'mon Koenma, lighten up." He said reaching over the desk and grabbing Koenma into a head lock all the while laughing. "I'm sure Kuwabara, Hiei, and Kurama can do a good job without me, right?" He said turning to face his team mates and immediately letting go of Koenma's wiggling, cursing body as soon as he saw Kuwabara, who wore his hoody over his bowed head, his elbows over his legs and his eyes over his palms looking pretty sick.
Hiei stood up off the wall as he noticed Yusuke notice Kuwabara, and everyone else turned to look at what Yusuke was starring at; even Koenma stopped his whining. Kurama placed a hand over his shoulder and his body flinched a little at the sudden touch. "Kuwabara, are you all right?" Kurama asks.
"Yeah." He said from under the hood with a sigh. "Just a little sleepy."
"It's getting late, and all we've done so far is waste time." Hiei interrupted.
Kurama turned to look at Hiei, and with little hesitation said. "He's right; we could use the extra sunlight."
A little red faced Koenma nodded in agreement. "Right, everyone knows what to do, report to me as soon as possible." He said as he picked up his stamp, sighed, and began to stamp away at the piles of paper over his desk.
It didn't take long to get to ground zero of the latest disturbance in spirit world. The job was familiar and routine. A gang of demons, who are way over their heads, would try to take over small friendly towns, harassing the residents and sometimes causing high levels of damage. That's when they come in; in cases like this, their job is to rally the bad guys up and personally mail them to Koenma who then figures out what to do with them.
Now, they all stood in hiding ready to barge in on the party, but this time it didn't seem like routine; though familiar. As they all walked towards the middle of town, Kuwabara felt like he was in his own cloud; floating instead of walking; dreaming instead of living.
Yusuke yelled from the top of his lungs, daring their targets to come out in the open, but all Kuwabara heard was his own heart thumping against his chest. One by one, the demons started popping out from their whereabouts. His body started to tremble and break out in cold sweats and his breathing became shallow. He ran a hand through his short hair, leaving his hand at the top of his head as he examined the scene playing before him. His team mates were exposing themselves to these menacing demons, each one chasing and capturing them with no sign of fear. He was beginning to feel lightheaded and faint; he gulped once, his throat dry, and took a step back. 'I can't do this.' He thought as he felt himself almost chocking on his own tongue and his hand came up to his neck.
He let himself fall to the floor, pulled his head to his hands. 'What if I fail? What if I die? What if they get hurt? What if I can't help? SHIT… I need to do something, I need to help them. What is wrong with me? Get up, Kuwabara. GET UP, KUWABARA!'
His stomach began to hurt; his heart palpitated awkwardly and could have sworn that he was having a heart attack. From within his mental fog he heard a girl's scream. Slowly he lifted his gaze and scanned the many battles going on all around him till finally his sight landed on a little cat demon girl being dragged by a slithery green demon by her tiny arm. Kuwabara flared up.
Suddenly he stood, and began to charge towards the demon, and in the process summoned his spirit sword. The demon saw Kuwabara approaching and managed to let go of the girl before Kuwabara's brute force from the sudden swing of the sword knocked him and the little girl to the ground.
Kuwabara twirled around as soon as he could to face the demon, making eye contact with him as he lightly panted for air. The demon coward a little under Kuwabara's gaze before he quickly stood up and began to run. Kuwabara sighed before he too took off to chase after him.
They ran past the little girl, through the battles, into an alley way, cutting past a garden, inside a house, over and around the furniture, through the front door and back into the battle filled street until Kuwabara un-expectantly bumped into a panicked civilian and the demon stopped running to turn and take his breath all the while laughing at Kuwabara's fallen grace. But the demon's fun was short lived for he stiffened as Kuwabara darted to his feet and the chase once again continued.
Finally, the demon landed himself in a dead end in between two houses and Kuwabara slowly approached him with his sword pointed straight at the frightened demon.
"No. Please. I know you don't really want to do this. Please, have a heart, mistier. Let me go… Please, please, please let me go." The demon cried nervously pressing his body to the wall; his fingers tracing the wall's surface.
Kuwabara gave a small growl. "No." He said as he placed the tip of his spirit sword close to the demon's neck. "I'll give you something more." His breathing was deep and his arm trembled from the adrenaline coursing through his veins as he pushed the sword slowly into the demon's flesh. The demon squirmed and hissed in pain, his body shook in fear and the front of his pants suddenly began to get soaked. "I'll make you fade away." Kuwabara whispered to him in antagonism.
"Kuwabara!" A voice from behind him yelled. Kuwabara turned to meet two surprised faces; his breathing still deep. His sword moved in deeper causing the demon to squeal in pain.
"Release him." The red head said coolly.
But he couldn't, he needed this; he needed to make the demon hurt for all it has done, for everyone it has hurt. He gulped, his obvious refusal to obey was comprehended by his friends; and they looked back at him with disappointment and resentment. He was immobile, stuck in between of what he should do and what he wanted to do. His breathing once again became shallow and everything in his mind was becoming distorted in his own confusion.
"Kuwabara." The brown eyed one warned. Kuwabara looked down at the floor as he felt himself want to just puke his guts out. He was breaking into cold sweats, breaking into nervousness, just plainly falling apart; right here, right in front of them for everyone to see how weak he was and for everyone to know what a coward he was. And there was no running away, no escape, no waking up just like one of his nightmares.
He began to involuntarily lower his sword as his vision began to tunnel. The sounds and voices blurred with one another and all he could hear was the quiet whisper of his own breathing as he slowly took a couple of step out of the way from all the confusing noises and all the confusing energy; just wanting to get away, just praying for the earth to open up and eat him whole; till his vision blacked out.
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Authors Notes (again): Thanks again for everyone that stuck for this long..
