The Cutting Edge

based on Undertale by Toby Fox

by tashhhh


7. You're Hired!


"…and then I tried to go down to the store but the monster in charge there won't even sell to me because T-my caretaker got up early and talked to him first. And I was planning to have my mentor friend teach me about doing taxes today. Now she's not going to be free again for a couple of days! Ugh, it's so frustrating to be told to take a break today when I was literally about to start working on the hiring and stuff I need to do to fix that situation! Running a restaurant is not all fun and games you know! It's not like baking homemade pies for children! It's an arduous, back-breaking labor of love!"

He was starting to laugh as she went on.

"But she doesn't understand that. She just writes jokes all day!"

"hey, pal. joke writing is serious business. trust me, i'm an author… -ity on the matter."

"?!"

"heh. i've got a good joke for ya right now. here it goes. you need a hobby."

"Huh?!" He snickered again at her reaction.

She sighed. "So what's your hobby then? Being a world-class punster?"

"nah… that's way too much work. my hobby is… napping."

"What, napping?!"

"yep. i was doin' it all last night."

"Oh… wait, but isn't that just—oh…" She heard him chuckle. "Well Mr. Door Guy, maybe you count sleeping as a way to pass the time, but a normal, ordinary person like me needs more to do during the day."

"gotcha pal. a normal, ordinary workaholic like you needs more to do."

"Ugh!"

She heard him snickering behind the door. "heheh… you're gonna get along great with my brother… wanna hear another one? ok… what's a skeleton's favorite instrument?"

"I dunno, what?"

"A trom-bone."

"Huh?" She raised her eyebrow at the door. "That's like, a baby joke."

"aw come on. i can tell you're smiling by the tone of your voice."

"I'm not sm—" A trombone cut her off, playing 'wah, wah waaah.'

"Wha?!" She laughed and smiled. "Hm… you just made a joke about skeletons and trombones. And then you actually played a trombone… Does mean that you're a skeleton?"

"maaaybe. you've got a pretty sound argument there. but actually, that joke was made up by your guardian, not me, so… wait… is she a skeleton?"

"I dunno, could be!" she sang. "Maybe you should come over here and find out?" They both giggled at the suggestion. She added, "Hehe… why are we being so secretive again?"

"good question bud. status quo, i guess? Door Lady #1 has never asked for my name or introduced herself, so i haven't brought it up either. although… she's been a little different lately."

"How so?"

"well, when we first started this whole routine, the only thing we did was tell knock-knock jokes. which rules. but… since a few weeks ago, she's also started talking to me normally, about normal stuff."

"Oh, that's great! She doesn't have any friends and everyone here is intimidated by her. So I'm glad she has you to talk to."

"hey, that's my line. she's obviously much happier with you around. you must be great company."

"Oh." She said and looked down.

"yeah. she really cares about you. she even asked me to… well… maybe it's not my place to say…"

"She asked you to protect me?"

"yeah," he replied automatically. "…huh? she told you?"

"Ah, no… It was my mentor-y business partner. She spies on everything in the Ruins with her remote-control spiders and she's really nosy. Hehe… Sorry about that."

"ok."

"So actually, speaking of her, she wants to ask you do something for her/us. We've got this big project planned and we're gonna need a contact on the outside soon. And we thought that maybe you could help us get in touch with someone. She's still working on the information packet now. Wanna meet us here next week?"

"wow, uh… ok?"

The next day, Frisk was sitting on a ledge in the marketplace. A book was open in her lap. The background noise of monsters going about their day faded into a dull hum as she intensely stared at the spider donut sitting on the stone surface next to her.

"Hiya Frisk. Watcha up to?" She popped out of her bubble of concentration and looked at the blue Loox.

"Hi!" she said. "I'm trying to see the stats on this donut."

"Oh, you're learning like, Check and stuff?"

"Heh, yeah… I bet you monsters all learn that when you're babies, huh? Toriel can tell how much HP a food will restore just by looking at it. This book says that inventory scanning falls under Check."

"Uh-huh, that's right."

"And then it says that humans can use Check. But I can't quite figure out how…"

She held the book against her body and stared up at the ceiling as she thought about the problem. Allens could see its title, First Grade Magic.

"Oh cool. That's like, that exact same book is the one we read when I was kid. In class. I mean magic class. Uh, so… I was thinking maybe you could ask a teacher for help? I know a guy you could ask. I mean, not just like any guy, but he's a magic teacher. So y'know,"

"Yeah, I get it," she giggled and nodded. "That sounds great, do you wanna show me now?"

"Yeah, Ok! So, follow me?"

"Lead on."

They walked into a door in the center of the far wall of the market square. The interior hallway was narrower than expected. There were only two unoccupied rooms. They were full of furniture and desks that were pushed against the walls, revealing their barren stone floors. The third room at the end of the hall was a small office which Frisk knocked on.

An old Loox with beige-yellow skin opened the door. He squinted at the through his narrow, wrinkled eyelid. "Yes children, how can I—oh my!"

He caught his little red hat from falling off the top of his head. His skirt was the same color, as was his iris which he widened as much as he could.

"A human?! My, my, what a surprise! Did you bring her here, Allens? Good to see you, lad."

"H-hi, uh, good morning Master Visage. Uh, Frisk. This is my magic teacher, Master Visage. And teacher, this is a human girl named Frisk. She has like, a food business on Home Street. Guess she's taking a break today." Frisk nodded. "I thought maybe you could like, help her learn… basic commands?"

"Yes, well then, what are we waiting for? Come, child!" he grabbed a metallic walking cane from a hook on the wall and limped out of the room. They followed him into one of the empty classrooms where there was more space to breathe and move around.

* Allens and Visage are standing around doing nothing!

"Ok, young Frisk, check this out!" Visage's iris flashed yellow as he raised his cane and whacked Allens on the back with it. As the blow connected, a spark of magical energy jumped from the staff's coppery tip into the younger Loox's body.

"Ow! What was that for?!" He rubbed the his back with his hands. A trail of smoke rose up from the singed fabric of his pants.

Frisk gasped and clenched her fists with worry. "Allens, are you ok?! You lost a lot of HP from that!"

"Yeah, I noticed!" he winced and glared at his teacher.

Visage chuckled knowingly, "Ho ho ho… How did you know he lost HP?"

Frisk said, "Huh, what you you mean? I only… Oh I get it!" Suddenly the vague options available to her snapped into place and she could almost imagine an action bar of various commands floating before her eyes.

[ACT]
→ * Check
→ * Allens

* ALLENS – ATK 1 DEF 9 HP: 27 / 35
* Can he get to the point already?

"Hehe!" Frisk giggled.

[ACT]
→ * Check
→ * Visage

* VISAGE – ATK 4 DEF 2 HP: 24 / 26
* This monster loves fireballs.

"Huh? Are you ok?" Frisk asked him.

"Ah, it's nothing child! Just this old back. Ho!" He stretched and made his spine pop. Frisk gave her spider donut to Allens. They all heard the sound of the outer door opening. Wings buzzed and feet stomped through the hallway.

Visage said, "Blazes! Would you look at the time?! The students for my afternoon class are arriving already! Frisk, why don't you come back tomorrow and learn some more?"

"Sorry, I have work tomorrow. But maybe next week!"

"Allens, would you like to volunteer for a class demonstration?"

"Oh, haha… no thanks. I have to uh… also work, and stuff!" he backed away, eager to leave the classroom.

Visage sighed. "Oh well, that's too bad… We'll just have to go with the original plan. Robbie! Go get the Dummy!" He ordered one of his students, a magenta-colored Froggit. Robbie turned around and went back the way he had come. Visage took a piece of chalk and wrote * Fireballs on the blackboard.

"Let's go," Frisk said. Allens was glad to agree.

As they walked across the market square, he explained, "When I said I have to work tomorrow, that was just a lame excuse… I don't have a job or anything."

"I see," Frisk nodded along. "Funny you should mention it. I need to hire someone to help me…"

Robbie came hopping the other way and passed them again, carrying a familiar-looking training dummy on his head.

"Oh!" She looked at Allens. "Would you like to work with me?"

"Huh?!"

The next morning there was a knock at the door. Toriel opened the door to see a blue monster with a large red eye. "Hello?"

"U-uh, h-hey, hello, g-goodmorning miss T-Toriel, heh…" he nervously greeted the goat-woman who towered over him. "Ahem. M-my name is Allens. Is, uh, Frisk home?"

"Oh, you're here! Come in here," the girl gestured from the table. She was still dressed in her pajamas which were green with yellow hearts on them. Toriel served their guest some coffee, which made him relax a little. Frisk showed him some notes that she had scribbled out the previous night, giving a brief explanation of her plans for their wages and schedules. She got changed into her usual outfit for the day.

Toriel said, "So, you've found another friend to work with? How nice! See what you can do with a little time off?"

"Yeah," Frisk smiled. "Guess you were right Toriel."

"It Loox like you two will make a great team." Toriel added and smiled.

Frisk sighed. "I don't know why I'm even surprised."

"Neither do I my child. I thought you should have seen that one coming!"

"Allens, let's leave!"

"Heh, Ok! Heheh…" He chuckled while following her out the door.

Toriel watched them walk away together and beamed with pride. "My little Frisk is a leader now! So… responsible!"

Allens quickly learned the ins and outs of running the café . They went over opening and closing checklists. They made a batch of hot dogs together. She showed him around the counter area and the storage room, the shelves and refrigerators where the various ingredients and utensils were kept, and gave him a spare key. By the end of the week he had somehow acquired a pair of bakery slippers as well as a black apron to wear over his poofy white shorts.

As the days passed by, Café Frisk gradually increased in popularity. It had taken some time for the local monsters to warm up to the idea of going to a restaurant run by a human under Toriel's protection. Lines formed every day shortly after opening. A pink-and-yellow Migosp came by and took some pictures of them working. Toriel came by a few times a day to deliver butterscotch-cinnamon pies, and pots of snail soup. She would also pass by every time she went for her daily walk. One day a baby Moldsmal had a temper tantrum, but its parent sucked in the bullets, preventing any damage from occurring. The green Loox was thrilled to see that Allens had found a job.

One afternoon, Frisk and Buffet were sitting at one of the tables, looking over a spread of paper documents. They had a few stacks of gold coins organized into piles on the table.

"Then you write the total here…" the spider baker pointed as the Frisk nodded and filled in the box. They scooped up the coins into a draw-string pouch that had a key-chain tag with the name of their business on it. "Huhu, all done."

They both sighed. Buffet sank into her cushioned armchair while Frisk stretched over the table.

"This tax only applies to certain businesses. I'll drop it off on my way back. Next month's may be a thread more complicated as we factor in the income of our new employee."

"Mm," she yawned and nodded.

"Speaking of which, where is that cutie today?"

Frisk got up and went back behind the counter as she replied, "Oh, he works Tuesday through Saturday, so he's off today."

"Yes, customers are the fewest on Sunday, so that's a good choice. By the way Frisk… Toriel does not have a computer, does she?"

"No."

"What a shame. No matter, no matter," she waved dismissively. "I can work by hand just as well. I have plenty of them to spare." A bundle of spiders descended from the ceiling and dropped off a textbook and a folder of notes in front of her on the table. Frisk picked up a piece of paper from a wooden tray carried by spiders and threw two hot dogs onto her grill. Meanwhile, Buffet hummed and worked on her papers.

In the Ruins Door room, Frisk approached with Buffet, who carried a thin folder containing papers.

"This should be the about the right time. Greetings, Voice!"

"that's three now. you guys starting a fan club over there? i'll be honest, i'm not sure how many more voices I can keep track of," he chuckled.

Frisk said, "Why don't we just introduce ourselves then…"

Buffet interrupted, "But my dear, I want a turn being mysterious and anonymous for no reason, too!"

"yea don't be such a party pooper human."

"I'm not a—" pfffftthththh.

Frisk sighed as the two monsters laughed across the door.

"so… kiddo said you've been spying on me? how's that workin' out for ya?"

"Ahuhuhu! Well, you know how it is! It gets a little repetitive baking and brewing all day, and entertainment's hard to come by around here… What's a monster to do?" She giggled.

"you're saying you appreciate my fine taste in humor?"

"Yes. I wrote down nearly 30 of your knock-knock jokes."

"i find that… dis-door-bing." They all shared a giggle at that.

Frisk said, "So… dis door bing locked and all… how is this going to work?"

Door guy chuckled, "awesomely, with that attitude."

"Hehe! Ok, but how are you gonna give him the folder?"

Buffet tilted her head one way, and then the other, considering the question. She lowered her body and fed the corner tip of the folder into the crevice between the bottom of the door and the floor. Frisk made a "Hm?" noise.

"woah there." They heard the sound of snow being dug through and patted and brushed off of paper.

shuffle, flip. "m." flip. "ok, i get it… hmm… most of this looks pretty easy… i have no idea about gettin' investors though…"

"I can help you with that one, if you'll be my eyes and ears."

"ok. what about distance then? i mean uh, the length of the passage? did you do terrain surveys yet? you got the location planned for the entrance on your side?"

"Not yet. I would leave that up to the designers and builders."

"ok, well you'll wanna figure that stuff out as early as possible. we can get a rough idea of the design (maybe i could use the tunnels in town as a base?) but you'll wanna decide on that soon, 'cause whatever you have to build or dig around could make a pretty big difference in the planning. kinda pointless to start on any final blueprints or even drafts before you have a good idea of your budget, y'know… 'cause you'll just have to redo it later…"

Frisk said, "Ooh. You sound like you know what you're talking about."

Buffet said, "Have you done something like this before?"

"well, maybe something a little similar, but…"

Frisk asked, "So you know how to build stuff?"

"i mean, machines and puzzles are more fun…"

Buffet said, "So you're more than just a messenger?" She said to Frisk, "It sounds like he could really help coordinate all of this. He should totally work with us!"

"i should?"

Frisk said, "Yeah totally! You're interested, aren't you?"

"uh... it does sound kinda cool. but i've already got a job over here…"

"You mean your sentry thing? Your job's to capture human souls, right? Well, you seem to have made your decision on that. You don't even have to pretend to look anymore. You literally just sit at your station and do nothing."

"i know, it's great!"

"Heh," Frisk laughed and rolled her eyes. "Come on Voice, I bet your, uh… brother'd be proud of you," she completely guessed.

He fell silent and they stared at the door for about 20 seconds.

"sure. why the hell not. wink."

Buffet said, "Splendid! Just flip through to that light blue page in the back and sign on the dotted line."

"ok." There was a series of noises. fp. kchw. squirk. crinkle. shff, shf. crease, pat, fold, pat, pat…

Frisk took the thick paper rectangle that was shoved under the door. As she unfolded it, her nose twitched at the scent of vinegar. They squinted at the blotchy red name.

Frisk said, "Ok, I guess we'll meet you next week then, um… Sons."