This is the last chapter of Dear you. I'm sure some people will hate it, but I feel this is how it would have ended.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, if I did things would have been so much different.

Warning: Mentions of suicide and depression, and all round angst, but if you had a problem with that you probably wouldn't of read this far.

Epilogue

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you." -A.

My Darling daughter,

I know you will find this letter and in wondering of it's existence the first instinct you have will be to throw it away, for what good could come from reading something from me. So if you are reading this Thank You. Already you are giving me much more than I deserve. I have never shown how much I love you Reneesme. You truly are a wonderful magnificent being and if you did not look like me in almost all ways, I wonder if you were mine at all. Sometimes I still do, for it is hard to accept that someone as precious, intelligent and beautiful as you could come from me.

I have not been a good father to you, never been the father you deserve. I want you to know that it was never ever your fault that I was so despondent. This whole mess that I call my life is entirely mine, you my sweet daughter were unfortunately caught in the aftermath of my fuck up. I respect and love your mother. She has been a brilliant wife and mother to you and a good friend to me. But I am not in love with her, I don't think I ever was. We tried to make it work and we stayed together as long as we could. Sixteen years is a long time to spend married to someone that you don't love romantically. We stayed together so it would be easier on you, but I don't think that we really fooling anyone with that were we? It was convenient, it was easy, it was all we knew. We had been together since we were fifteen, had never been with anyone else. You are grown now though, moved away from me and your mother to your own adventures, to begin your own life, to make your own mistakes. You have no idea how proud I am that you moved out of this little town that I have been in all my life and spread your wings. Europe sounds lovely and I am glad you and Nahuel are happy there. I wish you all the best, my daughter, I really do.

I am sad to say that at forty-one years of age I still have no idea of what I want to be when I grow up, and my times for adventuring are now gone I'm afraid. I feel if this is all that I can be. A doctor in small town. Divorced and lonely in town that I hate but am afraid to leave. I have nothing left for me here yet I stay waiting for the day that something worthwhile will enter my life and make it in any way, worth living. I find myself sitting at home in my family house that was bought so many years ago, with children and a wife in mind, drowning in thoughts if the past. Struggling to breathe from the overwhelming emotions and memories that come crashing over me. I find myself alone. I once had been given a letter of goodbye, and now this is mine to you.

The letter, that I had received, had been from a childhood friend that had meant more to than I had ever known, not until found myself without him at any rate. His name was Jasper, and he was the only person that I have ever found myself in love with. How we were together is bearly a story at all, as he seemed to be like a ghost in my hands. I was never quite sure if my times with him were real or just some way that my mind was losing itself. He always appeared to be like smoke, that when I was in his presence I was completely engulfed in all that was him but as soon as I tried to keep a hold of him he disappeared into thin air. This was all before you were even born. When you were just a thought to me, but a very big reality that I was soon to become an adult and to do adult things. I think I failed on that account because I feel just as much as a boy now as I did then at the age of eighteen. When Jasper realised that I was going to marry your mother, have you, and stay in Forks, he left. He left me with all but a letter. Claiming he loved me but I was to do the responsible (adult thing) and I was to stay with you. He was always such a good person, one of the best I have ever known. Of course I have never been that self less and when I received this letter of goodbye from him I wasn't going to just let him walk away. I loved him he couldn't do that, I wouldn't allow it. You can see now how much of a boy I still was. The day I got his letter was me and your mother's wedding day. Not the best time to go running after that one I really loved, but I've never been a man of logic have I? I had received the letter from one Jacob Black, I know what you are thinking, what is mom's husband of eight years doing in this story? Well he was a boyfriend of Jasper's once and a great friend,as far as I could make out,after they split up. Bella sure knows how to pick 'em huh? (Only joking, I like him, I really do, deep deep down. He knows it too.) After I had received the letter I stood in my room dressed in a suit surrounded by my father, and friends from school with two hours until I was to be married to your mother... and I ran. I know no one has ever told you this story as it's a taboo to speak of it around my parents and then everyone eventually forgot about it, not that they knew why I was running but apparently I caused quite a ruckus. It was pouring rain that day, it made me think of Jasper, he loved it when it rained, and it motivated me to get to my car even faster. Jasper was on his way to Paris to live a completely different live with his best friend Alice. To be honest I didn't really care about the details, all I knew or cared about was that Jasper was planning a life in Paris without me. I couldn't let that happen, at least not without a goodbye. I got into my silver Volvo, and drove as fast as I could to Seattle airport. I had to find him. I didn't even know when his flight was, that was a major flaw in my plan that I really didn't for see until later. I ran inside the airport, it isn't very big and found the flight schedule on the overhead boards. The flight was boarding in twenty minutes. I remember never having run so fast in my life. My heart was thumping so loud in my ears that the hum of flight-goer's were scarce heard amid the beats and the pounding of my foot falls.

I got to the terminal and searched frantically for a golden head of hair. Funnily enough it was his friend, Alice, that I found first. I had been running so fast to catch up with him that I never thought what I would say when I finally got there, what do you say to a person that is leaving the country the get away from you? (I know dramatic right? But I was panicking and stressed, and quite frankly scared shitless.) The little black haired Alice caught my eye and with a startled expression she turned to Jasper, my golden haired love. He twisted 'round to met my eyes with a look akin to disbelief. Everything around me had vanished as soon as he started to walk his way towards me, it was like tunnel vision. I only saw him and nothing could distract me.

' What are you doing here?' He had said it like there was no way that I could be there, standing in front of him. Like I was a vision.

' I came to see you. You can't just walk away. You can't just disappear only leaving a letter. A letter Jasper? Is that all I mean to you?'

I realise now that he could have just left me with nothing, that a letter was a blessing of a goodbye. He looked at me uncomfortably. It was obvious that I wanted him to stay, but it seemed that he had set his mind on going. I always had a way with words, always able to charm what I wanted or needed out of people and it seemed so ironic that the one time that I needed words most of all, they failed me. I did the only thing I could think of doing and the last thing he expected me to. I kissed him. I kissed him with all I had. At first he didn't respond but soon his tongue was moving with mine. It didn't occur to me until he was letting go of my hand and pulling away,that while for me it had been a kiss of love and hope of the future, for Jasper it had been a kiss goodbye.

'I love you, that's why I'm saying goodbye. I need this Edward, so let me go. Don't fight me on this, OK? '

' I can't live without you. Please don't go.' It was my last plead for him to stay and even then I knew it was falling on deaf ears.

' You can live without me you just don't want to, and it might be hard at first but in time you'll forget about me, memories of us will be replaced with ones of your child and wife. I'll be all but a memory to you.' He looked sad at this statement, but adement. ' Just promise me when I you look back at you and me, let it be with happiness and no regrets.'

' You will never be a regret!' He looked at me then with a soft, sad smile, like he knew something I didn't and kissed me softy on the lips. Just a breath of of smile.

I tried to hold onto him as he walked away from me but I knew that there was no way that he would stay with me. I had known that all along really, that he would never stay. We both had tears in our eyes as he walked away from me towards the plane that would take him to a new life,an exciting, untold future, and me, towards a wife and child.

That day was one of the most agonising of my entire life. I had said goodbye to Jasper and then had to marry a girl I did not love, not even close to what I felt for man I had just watched walk away from me. That day was the beginning of the rest of my life, you could say.

I never heard from Jasper again.

It was only two weeks ago that I heard of his death. He had died from acute leukemia; cancer in the lungs. It was his funeral and his father had thought to invite me. He had stayed behind in the town of Forks alone out of Jasper's family, and I had been his doctor for several years. I had never thought of dying before the news of Jasper's death. It has been over twenty-four years since I have last seen him and I still have never felt anything close to what I felt for him about anyone else. I can still feel his touch and his kiss, I can hear that laugh and see his smile. At the funeral I was introduced to Jasper's partner for over sixteen years. I had never been so jealous of another person so much until that point. He had sixteen years of life with Jasper, that would be something I would never have. But I am comforted at the thought that in death I will finally be with him.

I love you, my baby girl. This is my goodbye letter to you, just like the one I once received.

I have enclosed Jasper's letter for you to fully understand, so that our love will not be forgotten.

I leave all my possessions, money and estates to you in hope that you will find something useful to do with them.

I love you, Reneesme Carlie Cullen, Live your life to the fullest.

From your father,

Edward.