I Don't Want To Be Like This
I give up, this is hopeless. That mere human girl is making me turn into a lovesick buffoon. It's absolutely ridiculous and what's more I can't stop her. Such an intelligent and powerful creature like me cannot even defeat a weak human. How shameful…No I guess I shouldn't say that, I love that 'weak human' after all. If you think about it I guess I am the inferior one for falling for her. I've been trying so hard to discard my feelings and prevent her from taking another step into my life but all I've been able to do is fail at it. I know now that I can't stop this but I'm afraid. Afraid of what will happen now. There is no such thing as 'forever' so what should I do? Really, I have no one to confide to and I DEFINITELY cannot tell Lynn. She'll never let me hear the end of it. Ugh what kind of predicament have I gotten myself into? This inner conflict is starting to become a part of my daily routine; Wake up and then go outside to think. Yes what a productive life have. What should I do…even this level of thinking is beyond me. I just have to choose right? Maybe I'll just leave the village for a few days to think.
"Ryouga." Aera suddenly showed up from behind and tackled me. "Ha! Never let your guard down or you'll never know what might happen."
"Women come throwing themselves at you?" I replied nonchalantly. "If that's the case I don't mind letting my guard down here and there."
"No! An enemy will attack you." Aera retorted.
"If an enemy had your capabilities then I wouldn't worry." I commented arrogantly. "You can attack me in my sleep and I'm sure you'll still do no damage."
"Don't go back on your word Ryouga." Aera smiled slyly.
"N-no, don't you dare sneak into my house tonight and jump into my bed." I commanded while feeling flustered.
"Hm? I think you're the only one getting the wrong idea." Aera gave me a 'I-didn't-know-you-were-such-a-pervert' look.
"What? No!" I retorted with a bright red face. "Don't say these things in public!"
"I didn't say anything." Her innocent smile looks more devious than anything though. "You've been raising your voice lately huh?"
"Whose fault do you think that is?" I slammed my palm into my face.
"Yours." Aera stated bluntly while smiling.
"Why you." I growled a little. "Ugh, anyway what did you come here for?"
"To tell you I'm marrying Orin next month." Aera blushed a little and twiddling her thumbs.
I remained silent. What did she just say? Did she just say MARRY and ORIN in the same sentence? I think she did. Did she? I hope she didn't. No, how come I've never noticed this? Even though they were not related by blood Aera said they were like a real family to her. So I naturally assumed that she as telling the truth and now she comes up to me when I least expect it and tell me that she's MARRYING the guy? That's like me marrying my sister. Ugh I think I just threw up in my mouth a little because of the thought but Aera can't marry Orin. I didn't even hear about her liking him. Did she keep this a secret from me? Or maybe Blaire's making them get married? But for what reason? Ugh I'm so confused.
"Ryouga?" Aera called out.
"Hmm?" I snapped out of my trance for a bit.
"You've been standing there and staring at me for quite some time now." She stated. "Something the matter?"
"Ugh no. Congratulations on your engagement bitc- I mean best friend!" I corrected quickly.
Shit! What the hell was that? Control yourself Ryouga, don't show any weakness. This is only going to lead to your downfall. Just play it cool and act as if you're really happy about it. Even if you want to run to Blaire's house and snap Orin's neck like a chicken you can't. Just-just smile. Yeah smile. Say some nice empty words like 'Good for you.' Or 'I'll be looking forward to the wedding.' That sounds unbelievably fake but it's better than yelling at her face and killing her brother right?
"Yeah I've been in love with him for a while now." Aera blushed as she said this.
"You don't say….Ugh so do you think Orin is home alone right now?" I snickered menacingly.
"Ryouga?" Aera sounded a little worried this time.
"I mean it'll be good for you to spend time with that manwhor- I mean damn am I bored." I was about to strangle myself at this point.
"Are you perhaps jealous?" Aera sneakily smirked at me.
"Jealous? Nope why? My sister is hotter than your brother anyway. Hmmm? Actually maybe I should go commit incest and marry her too." I stated bluntly without even realizing it.
"Hey don't you think your jokes are going a bit far?" Aera scowled at me a little.
"A bit far? You mean crossing the line far? Nah I think you've already done that by marrying your brother." I dismiss her question casually.
"Hey Ryouga, I think that's enough." Aera continued to glare.
"Hey Aera what are you going to do about kids? Maybe you should adopt a machine since he loves them so much." I suggested condescendingly.
"Stop it Ryouga." Aera commanded.
"Oh what's that? You want Lynn and me to have a joint wedding with you guys?" I ridiculed jokingly. "Wow you people must want incest all round aye?"
"Ryouga, you're really being a jerk today." Aera sighed a little.
"You think so?" I asked with feigned innocence. "Ah well I better go home now to my smoking hot sister. See you later Aera."
WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS THAT? WHAT DID I JUST DO? WHO WAS THAT FOOLISH AND IGNORANT PERSON? HE WASN'T MATURE AT ALL AND WHAT'S WORSE HIS VOCABULARY WAS JUST DISGRACEFUL. I can't believe something like that is living inside me, unbelievable. That was just sheer madness! I need to destroy the part of my brain that actually functions like this. Ugh, I still cannot believe what I just heard, absolutely implausible. Why did I make such inept comments? My actions were simply inexcusable. I might as well be incapacitated by someone right now. Anyway now what should I do? I started up a huge commotion with Aera and just walked off. She'll definitely be angry or at least utterly confused. Aera, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to act like that. Fantastic, now I have to go back and explain to her the situation…even though there isn't really anything I can explain.
*Ryouga's House*
"Darn, now I have to find some way to make it up to her." I said to myself out loud. "What am I suppose to do? I guess I have no choice but to grovel on my knees in front of Lynn."
"Oh did you call my name Ryouga?" Lynn popped out from behind a wall.
"Your hearing never ceases to amaze me sister." I commented nonchalantly.
"Of course, I am much stronger than you after all." She states confidently.
"That has nothing to do with hearing." I replied.
"Don't get smart with me Ryouga or I'll knock you all the way back to the Imperial Capital." Lynn smiled threateningly.
"I'm positive you don't even know where that is." I muttered under my breath.
"Anyway, what did you call me for?" Lynn asks.
"For help obviously my dear sister." I smiled.
"Oh really? What kind of help would you like little Ryouga?" Lynn smiled back at me.
"I need you to give me some advice, this isn't something I'd readily concede in but I am in quite a dilemma." I replied.
"Is that so?" Lynn places her fingers on her lips to think, it's like her signature pose. "Oh, are all the young women in the village bothering you again?"
"No sister." I stated bluntly.
"Then are you having heavy men lusting after you?" Lynn giggled deviously a little. "My, my. I never knew you were like that Ryouga."
"Lynn!" I retorted." Will you help me or not?"
"Oh my, my little brother sure has an attitude these days." Lynn smirked slyly. "Very well, tell me your problem."
I go on to tell Lynn what had happened between Aera and I, although I didn't tell the bit where she said she was marrying Orin. I just changed the topic slightly, only slightly. I'm sure it wouldn't make that much of a difference besides Lynn would've figured out that I was jealous if I told her the real story. I can't let my sister have any more power over me than she already has. Who knows what she might do with that information.
"Hmm so you are Aera are fighting?" Lynn repeats my words.
"That is correct."
"And the reason is because of her family?" Lynn asks.
"That's right."
"It's because they wanted you to marry Tatiana so you said yes out of obligation and humour. You told Aera about it but jokingly said to her that you were always in love with Tatiana. Therefore that caused Aera to get insanely jealous so she started mercilessly teasing you about being a pedophile? Then she just stormed off?" Lynn's face was strange; it was as if she was looking at some sort of lowly creature.
"Y-yeah."
"…..Ryouga." Lynn started right into my eyes. "You sure have gotten yourself into a huge mess. It's your problem so it's not really like I'm compelled to clean it up for you."
"Thanks sister… you were a real help." Ryouga stated sarcastically.
"My pleasure." Lynn smiles to me and then walks out of the room gracefully. "Have fun dying 10 years before your wife."
"That woman…" I scowled quietly.
"Oh this might not really apply you but I'd say Aera should just go confess you now before things really get messy." Lynn said while poking her head back into the room. "Well this is from Aera's point of view though. You can tank me later, bye now little brother."
"S-sister." I looked on as she once again walks out the door. "Wait….does that mean she saw through my fake scenario after all? Ugh really, she's too much for me to handle."
A-alright, after listening to Lynn's advice I better go settle this once and for all. I need to go confess my feelings to Aera. No more hesitating or calculating. I'm just going to let destiny take its course. I ran towards Blaire's house hoping Aera would be in by the time I arrive. Dashing up the stairs I saw a glimpse of her pink hair.
"Aera!" I called out. "Aera wait!"
"Ryouga?" She turned around quickly at the sound of my voice. "Hmm? What's the matter? Did you come here to tell me to marry Blaire too?"
"No I didn't." I said while puffing a little. "I can here to tell you…to not get married."
"Huh?" Aera looked taken aback by what I said. "W-what are you talking about?"
"Don't get married to Orin." I basically commanded while taking her hand. "Just stay like this, stay here with me."
"Ryouga…" Aera looked down at my hand and then up at my face. "I have something I have to tell you."
"No don't say it." I refused to listen.
"No, Ryouga you need to hear what I need to say." Aera squeezes my hand tighter.
This looks like a clip from some cheesy romance story.
"Fine. Just this once." I loosened my grip on her hand. "What is it?"
"Well it's just that…"
"Just that what?"
"Um about Orin and I?"
"You're getting married right?"
"No exactly."
"You're already married."
"Um no, not really."
"Then what?"
"It was a joke, I was lying."
"Pardon?"
"I was kidding, I was just messing with you but you took it seriously. I'm nor marrying anyone."
"This conversation never happened."
I let go of her and quickly walked away.
