Maternity Leave - SOLDIER Style
Chapter 7
(notthedoctor) House
"Whoa!"
"It is… something to look at, isn't it?"
"It's so… huge!"
"I'm not sure, though, will it work?"
"Of course! It's amazing!"
"It is only the two of us, isn't it a bit… much?"
"Who cares? It's f-r-e-e!"
The house was grand to say the least, as Sephiroth and Zack had figured out by just looking at it. Resembling the Shin-Ra manor, but much less large and definitely not as luxurious, the house was still huge. Much bigger than it needed to be for two people.
"I wonder why it's so big?" Zack wondered. "I'll ask Rufus."
"Don't bother." Sephiroth said, walking towards the door.
Zack put his phone away, following behind him. "Is it locked?"
"No." Sephiroth replied, tossing Zack one of the keys. "He left the keys under the mat."
"Ouch." Sephiroth mumbled, placing a hand over his stomach.
"Something wrong?"
"No."
"Liar!"
"No, really, I feel fine." Sephiroth said, but he was paler than usual. "I'll just go lay down, now."
"I wonder if it's furnished?" Zack said absentmindedly as they entered the house. "IT IS!" He exclaimed, immediately jumping onto one of the many chairs. "YES! I love Rufus!"
"Ah, I'll pretend I never heard that…" Sephiroth mumbled. "And go lay down…"
Zack shrugged, a grin still present on his face. "I think I can get used to this."
"You've got eight months." Sephiroth said from the bedroom. Or at least what Zack figured was the bedroom.
He stood up and walked over to the door. "Are you alright, Sephy?"
"Just fine." He replied. Although, he sounded much less than "just fine".
"Sephiroth." Zack warned. "I know when you're hiding things, you know."
"Please leave me alone, Zack."
Zack pondered ignoring him and coming in anyway, but knowing Sephiroth there was a good reason for his not wanting Zack near him. Instead, he let him be and sauntered over to the kitchen. Crossing his fingers, he hoped for lots of glorious food. "YES!" He shouted when he found the fridge was fully stocked with expensive looking foods. Only Sephiroth realized how much they were going to have to pay, but he was busy so Zack decided to just forget about it.
"Hmmm, what else can I find? Oh, I hope there's not a dead hooker under the bed." He said, sticking out his tongue in distaste.
"ZACK!" Zack jumped ten feet. Holy Crap, did Sephiroth just scream my name? Wait, that sounds familiar… have I heard this joke before? Zack shook his head. "Focus, you idiot!"
"ZACK, GET THE HELL IN HERE!"
"Okay, okay I'm coming!" he said, "Sheesh what a girl."
Zack opened the door. "Um, what's the problem?"
"I need help." Sephiroth said, sitting on the bed.
"With what?"
"Um."
"Um, what?"
"Um." Sephiroth coughed. "I can't take off my clothes without help."
Zack stared at Sephiroth with such an intense look that Sephiroth looked away. "Really, Sephiroth? Really? REALLY?"
"Shut up! I was deprived skills as a child! All my clothes had Velcro."
Zack shook his head. "Why the screaming my name, then?"
"I needed your help."
"Please tell me you're not having mood swings already."
"I hope not." Sephiroth grumbled, placing a hand over his face. "Can you just, at least, unbuckle my coat and take off the annoying SOLDIER belt?"
"Sure, I guess." Zack had only took one step before he realized, "Wait, does this count as undressing you?"
"Shut up and do it, or I'll kill you." He replied, looking away. "It's not my fault I never had to buckle stuff."
"Alright, hold still." Zack said, joining him on the bed and crossing his legs like a pre-schooler.
After about an hour or so of unbuckling, buckling again, and maybe a tear or a rip or two, the coat, along with the shoulder guards, the straps across his chest that held the belt had successfully come off. All that remained were his pants. "Want me to take those off, too, Sephy?"
"NO." Sephiroth shouted. "Now let me sleep!"
"Okay, okay, mood swings, geez." Zack said, then laughed. "It's not like I meant it like that, anyway. I just know how uncomfortable these SOLDIER issue-pants are."
Sephiroth grunted a reply that sounded like, "Go away." so Zack left him alone.
"Great, I'm bored." Zack announced only two minutes later. He had been looking at some of the books that littered the place, but they were all boring. "Those books suck. I mean, Junjou Romantica? What is THAT?!"
Zack had just left it where he found it, in the secret drawer of a secret room behind a book shelf. "Oh, what is that?" Zack wondered, looking at the big, black, blank screen that hung on the wall. "It's so beautiful."
He examined the buttons on it until he found one that even relatively made sense. So he pressed it and the TV blinked on. "Ooooh." Zack moaned. "It's so pretty…"
A low 'MMMMMMMMMMMM' noise emitted from the thing, carrying into Sephiroth's room. He rolled over once, placed the pillow over his head and tried to ignore it. But he couldn't. It was so obnoxious, it was worse than Zack. He sat up and made his way to the living room. "Zack what are you-…" He stopped mid sentence, staring at the television screen. It was the… broken channel. The one with the color bars, which you get if you don't actually receive that certain channel. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"It's so beautiful, Sephiroth." Zack said, as if in a trance.
"Okay, enough TV for you, Zack." Sephiroth announced, turning the TV off. For a few moments, Zack didn't respond. Then, with eyes open wider than Sephiroth had ever seen, he turned like a zombie to face him.
"…why did you turn it off, Sephiroth…?"
"Um, I think you need to take a nap, Zack." Sephiroth said lightly, holding up his hands in surrender. "Badly."
"If you say so." He said, snapping back to normal. "But you're on the bed."
"Aren't there two rooms?"
"Nope."
"That bastard. Speaking of that, it's a double bed, too." Sephiroth sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"So, like, Rufus expects us to sleep… together?" Zack snickered. "I knew he was a jerk, but this is a little bit over the top, even for him."
"I'm beginning to think that this is Rufus's famed summer-house." Sephiroth said, and then it clicked.
"OH MY GAIA, AND YOU WERE SLEEPING ON THE BED!"
Sephiroth almost shrieked. "I think I need a shower…"
"I'll wash the sheets…" Zack mumbled.
"I don't want to take any chances." Sephiroth shuddered and moved into the bathroom.
Zack delicately bundled up the sheets and threw them into the washer that he found in the basement. He was only just upstairs when he heard the scream. "I knew it! There is a dead hooker under the bed!"
"ZACK YOU MORON!"
"Oh, maybe not. Unless she knows me… Wait, I hope it's not Aerith!" Zack slapped himself. "What he hell am I saying? She's so innocent!"
"ZACK I AM GOING TO KILL YOU."
"Nope, not Aerith." Zack decided. "Oh, I'm coming Sephy!"
As soon as he entered the bedroom the silver-haired man was standing, with a towel on, and very… red? "Um, what's wrong, Sephiroth?"
Sephiroth's frown was enough to make Zack regret saying anything. "I now have third degree burns in places that would make a non-SOLDIER cry."
"Um, sorry? What did I-" He saw the stare and looked away. "Erm, right, the washer."
"I'll go turn off the washer and you can finish your shower, okay…?"
"You goddamn better."
TWOFER. (Two for one LOLOLOL (un)lucky you! )
So, like, I thought I might as well double-update since... I'unno, no reason really.
And Zack's secret channel? It's channel 77 for StainsofBloodOnYourHands (the co-author whom I forgot to mention these last 7 chapters.) and for me, well, I don't get it (sadness) Zack would be unhappy with my TV.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
