Thank you all once again! A pack of our favourite red snack to Reena Catheryn, ChloefromMackMalls, and MarauderGirl71 for reviewing! And a free flight to Mars for Reena Catheryn and son for guessing last chapter's challenge question correctly.
So, where were we? Umbridge is about to have the babies (don't worry, I won't show you anything gruesome...I'm not that evil XD), a whole load of diapers have been bought, and it is about to be proven just how effective redvines really are. Oh, and Umbridge is very angry.
And now, the story continues...
Firenze, Draco and Luna looked frantic. Ginny looked confused. Harry, Ron and Hermione looked like they were thinking this was the perfect time to sneak away quietly.
'You must come and assist at once!' Firenze beseeched. 'In her agony the fair Umbridge is stronger than ever- she's already punched out three cenchaurs that got in her way…'
'Quick!' Draco said, caught up in the moment. 'Everyone back to the forest!'
'Yeah, well, you guys have fun,' Harry said. 'Me and my pals here,' he pulled Ron and Hermione into a huddle, which Ginny desperately tried to get in on, 'we got better things to do- I guess we'll just be headin' back…'
'Not so fast, Potter!' Draco cried. 'Jellylegs jinx!'
The four found themselves stuck, but before they could yell 'unjellify!' Malfoy had grabbed their wands (or in Ron's case, his redvines).
'Now, here's the deal,' he said, 'Luna- that's my girlfriend,' he looked pointedly at Hermione, 'and I can't possibly carry all these boxes of diapers back to the forest and deal with Umbridge- and why should we when we have four volunteers? Now, when I unjinx you, you shall all come and help me, or…the ginger girl dies!'
And with that he did a grand jete across the path and landed in front of Ginny, pointing his wand at her head.
'That's cool,' Ron said, 'no-one likes my loser sister anyway.'
Ginny burst into tears.
'Very well then,' Draco said, and in a flash he had sashayed over to Ron and was holding the wand to his head.
'Well, then, do as I say or the ginger boy dies!'
Harry and Hermione gulped.
'Don't kill me!' Ron cried, 'I'm too hungry to die!'
'Yeah, don't kill Ron!' Harry said, 'he's the guy that's always helpin' out!'
'Well, perhaps he could help out,' Draco sneered, 'during this crisis!'
'Will you gimme back my redvines?' Ron demanded.
'Afterwards,' Malfoy smirked, releasing them from the jinx. 'Come along then, get the diaper boxes and follow Fir…Firenze?'
The centaur was already dashing off down the path, and the six children each grabbed a box of diapers and hastened after him. They were about a hundred feet away from the Centaur Tree Village when they heard the first of the shouts- loud enough to bring down the whole village.
'WHAT IS DIS? PAIN? UMBRIDGE DON'T FEEL PAIN! I DON'T LIKE DIS!'
Firenze looked aggrieved. 'My poor human…' he rushed towards the source of the screaming, and the children dumped the boxes on the ground and trailed along.
'My darling Umbridge!' the centaur burst through the door and ran to her side.
'I AM NEVER HAVING COITUS WITH YOU AGAIN!' Umbridge shouted, and everyone experienced a ringing in their ears from the volume of the exclamation. 'FIRST YOU MAKE ME INTO A CHUBBY LIL ****,' she indicated her heavily pregnant stomach, 'AND DEN ALL DIS PAIN! AND I NEVER FEEL PAIN! I AM INDESTRUCTIBLE!'
'Whadya say we make a run for it?' Harry whispered to Ron and Hermione, 'I don't wanna stick around to listen to something this gruesome…'
'But what about…'
'For goodness sake, Ron!' Hermione whined. 'We'll buy you a new pack of redvines on the way home, let's just go!'
'No-one is going anywhere!'
'Oh, man!' Harry groaned, seeing that Malfoy had stepped in front of the door and was now barring his way.
'Malfoy, we don't wanna stay and watch Umbridge poppin' little horses out of her…'
'Harry!' Hermione chided.
'WHAT DA SPELL IS HARRY POTTER DOIN' HERE! WHY ARE YOU LITTLE TURDS ALWAYS IN MAH WAY! WHY YOU GOTTA BE LIKE DAT!'
'See, Umbridge doesn't even want us here,' Harry said smugly. 'Now if you'll excuse me…'
'Professor, we're your moral support,' Draco said, hand still on the door and being oddly grovelly- no doubt because Firenze had foreseen a rocketship heading his way if he helped with the children.
Umbridge sucked in her breath and delivered a punch so forceful that Malfoy was flung clean across the room.
The ex-security officer threw back her head and roared. 'I'M HAVIN' SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT DESE BABY PONIES! I DON'T WANNA HAVE CHIL'RENS NO MORE!'
Firenze took hold of her hand, and there was a crunching sound as Umbridge squeezed it so hard all his fingers broke.
The centaur's eyes widened. 'Nary a cenchaur has ever been broken before…the sheer strength of this woman makes me ever so in love….but what of all this blood…?'
He held up his injured hand and Hermione and Ginny ran off to be sick at the sight of it. Harry and Draco winced. The only one not affected by it (apart from Luna, who was probably high on something) was Ron.
'Hey, Firenze, hold out that hand!' grabbing the pack of redvines from Malfoy, he pulled one out and laid it across Firenze's fingers, healing them instantly. (Author's note: Don't really try to heal broken bones with redvines. I don't want to get sued if it doesn't work.)
Firenze looked in amazement at his renewed hand- there wasn't even a scar.
'Redvines,' Ron winked. 'What the hell can't they do?'
'I WANT MY MAMA!' Umbridge yelled.
Harry sighed in frustration. 'Can't we just knock her out with drugs already?'
'Dumby to the rescue!' came a triumphant voice, and Dumbledore materialised in the room (or ran in when no-one was looking, whichever you prefer.)
'Now, Umbridge, you just take this gillyweed,' he held out the bag to her, 'and everything'll be fine, you won't now what hit ya…'
'Uh-uh,' Umbridge said, 'No WAY, no WAY am I takin' anything from you, Dumbledohh, now GET OUTTA MAH HOUSE!'
'Have it your way, Dolores,' Dumby said slyly, starting to turn around, 'STUPEFY!' he whipped out the Elder Wand and cast the spell.
Umbridge fell back onto the bed, unconscious.
'Now, quick, everyone,' he said, 'let's get her up to the hospital wing before she wakes up!'
'Aw, man,' Harry complained again, 'now we gotta carry Umbridge too?'
No babies this chapter, but you will get to meet them next time! What will they be- girls? boys? both? Can Harry and his friends sneak away? Find out next chapter, coming sometime within the next three days (hopefully).
Keep reviewing! Means a lot to me! This time, I shall send out packs of gillyweed, so you too can take a dip in the hidden swimming pool. Hmm, I can't think of a question this chapter! *Wails*
Oh, okay, I just thought of one. What two things does Umbridge get for presents after the babies are born?
