Lee began to stir when Amanda slid away from his side. "Shh, go back to sleep." She soothed her fingers across his brow. He settled at her admonition, and turned on his side, reaching a hand for the space where she had been.
With a small smile Amanda took her clothes to the bathroom to dress. She wore the jeans a second time, but had a white dress shirt of Lee's this morning. She headed to the kitchen, hoping Lee would sleep a bit longer. He had to be at least as tired as she.
She had to guess at the right number of scoops for the coffee maker, and just hoped the excellent grounds made up for any error. She caught herself 'shushing' the machine as it spluttered and hissed.
She found the new red potatoes and chopped them for home fries, adding a shallot and some chives. Next she diced a few of the leftover roasted peppers and onions from supper and added them to scrambled eggs. Not quite Lee's omelet, but a pretty tasty breakfast. She left the pans in a low oven to stay warm, and poured herself a cup of coffee.
She wandered around the livingroom, slightly too keyed up to sit on the couch. She stopped by the window. Golden autumn sun was burning off the fog. Splashes of orange, yellow and red broke through the dull grey, brick and brown of the city blocks. Amanda closed her eyes, soaking in the warm light seeping through the glass.
The whole week was taking on the quality of a nightmare. Some of it was still vivid; A feeling, a smell, a flicker of something out of the corner of her eye and the terror was back. And it lurked, the uncertainty, the sick feeling, the fear. But there were these new, fresh images too. Lee on his knee, asking her to marry him. Lee cooking for her, caring for her, holding her in the night.
She sensed his presence in the room a moment before she heard him. He made sure to make noise as he approached, careful not to startle her. She turned her head as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. She melted into him as he nuzzled her neck where it met her shoulder.
"Good morning." Her voice was hoarse with sleep and need. They just stood, for long minutes, Lee's arms securely around her, her back against his solid chest. His strength and caring permeating her like the autumn warmth streaming through the window.
"Smells like you've been busy?" Lee murmured, his lips tickling her ear, sending a delightful shiver through her.
"Well, it's not as fancy as yours... "
Lee stepped away from her, trailing his hand down her arm until his fingers entwined with hers, leading her to the kitchen. She loved the gesture, it was so unguarded for him.
After breakfast, Lee suggested a walk to the nearby park. Amanda pulled on the green shaker knit sweater again. She was more comfortable as they stepped out to the sidewalk, though she felt like she was hyper aware of the late Sunday morning activity. Lee's arm casually draped over her shoulder.
She slipped her own fingers into the top of the back pocket of his jeans, with a smile at the intimacy. The heady buzz of courtship and fresh romance pushed back any lingering nerves.
The park was small, but a variety of trees were in a riot of their fall glory still. The light had the golden clarity unique to fall which made everything both brighter and at the same time more rich. The air smelled faintly of damp soil, dying grass and the sweetness of fallen leaves. They sat on a bench in the sun, near the swingset and slide.
"I miss this. Phillip and Jaime are too old now for playgrounds, really. Or at least they think they are. " Amanda had a wistful smile. "It was simpler then."
Lee's thumb rubbed lightly where he held her hand. "A lot of things were simpler."
She caught the nuance in his words and leaned her head against his shoulder. "We'll be all right, won't we?"
"Sure we will." Lee turned and brushed his lips to her temple, resting them there. "We'll figure it out. We've made it this far, and most people in this business never do." He became aware of his thumb's movement, on her left hand, and an idea began to form.
With a sigh that spoke of regret, Lee pulled away from their intimate arrangement on the bench. "I suppose I ought to get you home, Mrs. King. The boys and your mother won't be long behind you." Amanda kept a hold on his arm as they stood and slowly began the walk back to his apartment.
The brief sojourn in the park was another bright memory to push back the dark ones.
She was so concentrating on the lovely parts of the weekend, that the fear, when it pounced, seemed all the more sinister.
Lee's apartment building was in sight. They were crossing the end of a short alley where resident cars parked. With a belch of black diesel smoke and a loud rattle and hiss of air brakes, a white box van pulled up to the curb ahead of them. Amanda froze. Dread was a ball in her stomach that physically threatened to push up and choke off her airway. Even Lee startled somewhat, her fingers had clenched on his upper arm, and she felt his muscles tense and ready for action. She felt, rather than saw, his left hand begin to reach across his body for the small sidearm he had concealed under his sweater.
But then two college age kids in sweatshirts got out of the truck, loudly bantering about who owed whom drinks. They moved to the back of the truck, lifting the door, revealiing a compartment haphazardly filled with furniture, lamps and the various other flotsam of college life.
Amanda's knees might have buckled if Lee hadn't turned to catch her elbows. Reaction was immediate, she was shaking from head to toe. At a loss for any better ideas, Lee gave into instinct; he pushed her the few steps to the brick wall of the nearer building, and kissed her.
His 'remedy' worked. Within moments, Amanda stopped shaking. Then she started responding. First her mouth softened under his, then opened, then she started actually participating in the kiss.
Reluctantly Lee pulled away a bit. "OK now?" He rested his forehead against hers.
"Huh?" Amanda licked her lips, where his had just been. A blush rose, as her roiling emotions sorted themsleves out." "Yeah." A half-smile lifted her lips. Her hands raised to his upper arms, she ducked in for another quick, more gentle kiss. "Thanks."
"Hey, any time. Just helping out my partner, you know?" Lee's eyebrow rose in mischief. With a deep breath, Amanda stepped out of the embrace and took his hand tightly. They walked past the genially bickering boys unloading all their worldly possessions onto the sidewalk. Another bad memory replaced with another good one.
It wasn't until they were in Lee's Corvette, headed for Amanda's house that she broached the subject. "What do I do if that happens when I'm at home, or with Mother or the boys?" Her voice was small and worried.
"I don't think it will." Lee glanced at her, his expression sincere. "First of all, you'll be in familiar environments, but time and rest will dull the reactions too. Today... well... That had me pretty jumpy too." He reached across the console to still her hands worrying the strap of her purse in her lap. She relinquished her left and let him pull it across to rest against his jean-clad thigh while he drove. "You'll have regular appointments with Dr. Quidd for a while, that's just SOP for anyone whose been... " he broke off, still clearly distressed at the words, "in this kind of situation."
"Oh." That clearly hadn't occurred to her.
"I"m sure, actually, you'll have to see him first thing tomorrow when we go in." He saw the worry on her face. "Don't worry, he's good, and he's not all mushy and psychobabble. He tells it like it is and just gives you tools for dealing—like the directed dreaming stuff I told you about. "
Amanada tightened her fingers on Lee's. How many times had he needed to see Quidd? How many nightmares had he faced? She looked at his dear, handsome profile. He seemed pretty well adjusted. She could do this.
They arrived at her house. Her car sat in her driveway. Until that moment it hadn't even been a thought in her mind. She silently thanked Billy, for she was sure it was his doing to get it back to her house. She didn't realize she was hesitating until she looked up to see Lee holding his hand out to help her out of the car. "C'mon, I'll walk through the house for you."
Nerves fluttered madly in her stomach. She didn't want to be afraid in her own house. But Lee clearly had no such worries. He confidently approached and entered. His lack of caution bolstered her confidence. He kept a firm grip on her hand as they moved from room to room, he leading the way. She felt like she had been gone years, and yet nothing had changed.
They went through each room. Even the boys'. She felt a slight flush when they checked her bedroom, her imagination supplying her with plenty of good images there.
They finished in the kitchen. Lee leaned his hips against the center island. Amanda leaned against the counter next to the fridge, suddenly, inexplicably shy.
"Do you need me to stay?" Lee asked.
For a moment Amanda wanted to answer, 'Desperately.' But her mind raced ahead to all the complications that would ensue from that choice, and she knew she wasn't up to all of that just yet. But she was deeply touched that he would offer. Of course he would.
"You'd do that." It wasn't a question.
"Well... yeah." Lee looked slightly annoyed.
"No, I mean, I know you would. And it would just complicate things so much more than they already are... ' She stepped forward, and his arms were there to catch her.
"I need to get back to my life. I won't let Birol win. If I give an inch, he wins." Lee's hands soothed her back as she spoke. "And I can now, thanks to you." She placed her palms flat on his chest, leaning back slightly to meet his beautiful eyes. She saw them darken as he looked at her.
"I love you, Amanda." He lowered his lips to hers, his hand cupping the back of her head. Her mouth opened to him, desire curling low in her belly, syrupy heat building.
They sprang apart like guilty teenagers at the sound of a car door slamming out front. Amanda actually giggled, Lee groaned. He wondered if his car had been spotted, he'd parked past the driveway. Dottie's voice could be heard clearly, wishing a fond farewell to her companion. Lee hoped she was too distracted by Captain Kurt to see the Corvette.
"You'll be OK?" He was reluctant now.
"Go." Amanda admonished, though she snuck in another peck on his lips, then swatted his chest lightly. He turned one last time before closing the door, meeting her eyes with a smile. Her eyes misted.
"Amanda! You're finally home! " Dottie bustled in like a hurricane. "Is that a new sweater?"
~o~O~o~
(Author's Note: Thank you SO much for your patience and amazing, kind reviews and private messages. Of all the fandoms, I think the SMK fans are truly the best at taking the time to show appreciation. It's astounding. First plagued with some writer's block, I then was injured and when I actually *wanted* to write, physically couldn't. We're almost there. A few last bits. I promise in the future not to post unfinished pieces-again, I *thought* this was a one-shot (therefore complete) when I posted the first chapter. Who knew! Thank's for sticking with it!)
